"Future, future, future..." Ronan carefully chewed on the word, gazing at the colorful stars in the night sky, his thoughts drifting into the infinite expanse.
Ronan had never truly paused to contemplate this question before.
In his previous life, he hadn't even been eligible to consider such a distant future.
He had been solely focused on surviving each day and moving forward step by step, a task that had consumed all his energy.
Giving up had never been an option, and thinking about the future had been a luxury beyond his reach.
In this current life, time seemed to be in short supply. So much had happened in just twenty-four hours, one event after another, like a thrilling roller coaster ride.
Ronan hadn't even fully absorbed the joy of the full moon party, and Zhou Zhou Six's performance repertoire was still undecided. There simply wasn't time to contemplate a distant future.
The concept of the "future" had always been a luxury for Ronan.
If... if he did indeed have a future, how should he choose to shape it?
Fleeing the "filming scene" earlier had been partly because Ronan didn't know how to present himself in front of the camera.
After all, the stage and the camera were two very different things. But it was also because his mind was filled with complex and swirling thoughts that needed some breathing space, a chance to inhale fresh air and let his thoughts settle.
Alice's sudden appearance had taken Ronan by surprise, but she had essentially placed the "future" directly in front of him.
The decision of whether to persist in pursuing their dreams or make a rational choice to give up was no longer a hypothetical situation. It was now a tangible reality staring him in the face—a reality.
This was the core of Cliff and Maxim's ongoing dispute, and it was the stark truth left behind when Tristan turned and walked away.
Though Ronan had temporarily put aside these weighty matters in favor of the short-term goal of completing the bar tour, reuniting with his friends, and working toward a common objective, the reality remained: they had only five more bar shows left, all ending within two weeks.
In just two weeks.
Even if Ronan were to become an expert overnight, he couldn't change enough within that limited time frame. The circumstances that had remained unchanged for the past seven years would require a sharp and almost miraculous turnaround in just two weeks.
They would need a stroke of luck equivalent to winning the lottery, or else they would soon be facing the "future" once more—a future characterized by cruel and unrelenting reality.
The full moon party had merely served as a temporary reprieve on their journey toward that future. It wasn't a crossroads, but merely a waystation.
So, how should he choose his future?
As Alice had pointed out, they were all trapped in a rut, their minds clouded with confusion and uncertainty. They were anxious, fearful, nervous, and uneasy, searching for answers that seemed perpetually out of reach.
Because life rarely came with clear-cut answers.
For Ronan, this was an even more daunting dilemma. In his previous life, he hadn't had the privilege to ponder such matters, and in this life, he hadn't been given the time.
He had been thrust into a dead-end situation with no time to adapt fully to his current circumstances. Yet, here he was, tasked with contemplating the future. So, what should he do? What could he do?
He gazed up at the vast sky, its diamond-like stars scattered across the deep blue velvet canvas. The limitless expanse seemed to stretch endlessly in silence. The sheer magnitude of it created a sense of immobilization, a loss of direction and orientation in the face of such grandeur. An explosion of thoughts occurred in his mind, a swirling maelstrom.
Even Polaris, the North Star, seemed to have vanished into the vast sea of stars.
What should he do?
Could anyone help him?
"Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood"
These lyrics, echoed in his mind.
In the quiet of the night, his emotions transformed into a melody, gently resonating within him. Anxiety and fear, loneliness and confusion—all these invisible weights seemed to tighten around his chest, inducing a burning sensation in his stomach. His heart pounded with panic, a feeling of suffocation that seemed to envelop him completely.
The emotions became real musical notes, humming softly on his lips. The pain and struggle deep within him were condensed into a melody, pounding against his chest.
It was as if his heart could feel the tearing pain, making it difficult to breathe. Yet, the humming persisted, much like a drowning person clutching at the last available lifeline.
Once upon a time, music had been his only refuge from darkness and cold.
Now, the melody had become a means of escape and release once more. The notes flowed continuously, too vivid and too eager to allow his heart any respite. It was as though he were being drawn into the world of music.
"Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something"
His emotions had evolved into musical notes, humming softly on his lips, and the pain and struggle within him had solidified into a melody.
It pounded in his chest, causing his heart to ache, but the humming didn't cease. It was like a drowning person clinging desperately to the last bit of hope.
Involuntarily, Ronan closed his eyes slowly, desperate to conceal the overwhelming warmth within him. The familiar darkness enveloped him.
From the night before to this very moment, twenty-four hours had passed in a whirlwind of emotions. The continuous highs had finally eased somewhat, but the more intense they had been, the deeper the subsequent sadness felt.
For the first time in his life, he had the opportunity to shape his own "future." However, it seemed that, in the blink of an eye, he was once again confronted with a crucial decision at a crossroads.
At times, he too felt the urge to give up. But... he couldn't.
He couldn't. Giving up was not in his blood. It was not a part of his nature. It had never been an option in his life.
He simply couldn't give up.
He couldn't.
"I could take to ease my mind slowly
Just have a drink and you'll feel better"
Emotions became music, a melody that echoed softly in the night. It was a melody of pain and struggle, loneliness and confusion—a melody that resonated with Ronan's very soul.
In the future, if he were to choose to give up, if the band were to disband, if he were to turn his back on his dreams because he had glimpsed a ray of light, if he were to forge a new life with his own hands, would life truly be different?
Could he find happiness, love, and friendship? Could he flourish like a summer flower? But... was it really possible?
Really?
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Note 1: Shawn Mendes song "In My Blood."