"Umm … knock if you need anything."
The fact that he has had to ask the innkeeper for help with the whole ordeal was nothing more than shameful for him. It might be true that she had once been his friend, but what kind of friend asks someone to clean after a child out of nowhere, despite not having interacted with each other for the last 2 years!
"I have done as promised and cleaned her up. But she doesn't seem to want to get out of the bathroom yet." The modestly dressed innkeeper dusted her hands off. "Honestly, you were the last person I would have expected to get involved in any mess involving kids."
"… I can see where you are coming from." He was absolutely humiliated at this point. "I apologize for the trouble, Amatha. It was rude of me to involve you with this." Rafik took a long apologetic bow.
"Hmph." She exhaled. "Oh please. Don't underestimate us, caretakers. I would rather clean the soiled bums of 5 more lousy kids than have to carry one more drunk Nazaris monk out of their room at the time of their pilgrimage through Arobolus. You have really gotten full of yourself, you know? Just because you finished your initiation research in 8 months, that doesn't make you special. Got that?"
"G-got it." He replied reluctantly, showing a painful smile.
Her snarky attitude reminded Rafik why he hadn't made much of an effort to visit her over the last 2 years. By no means was she a bad person, especially considering his current circumstance. But her attitude made her quite challenging to put up with, even for Rafik. But right now, he had no other choice than to tolerate and be thankful.
"Plus, it is not like I did this out of the kindness of my heart. Extra service like this doesn't come for free. Well, not for the likes of you."
"Of course not. We wouldn't think to not compensate you for wasting your precious-"
"While we are at it. Let's not forget about the fee for the urgently parked cart outside the inn." She started counting on her fingers mockingly.
"Yes. I was about to ask-"
"And also the toll for the commotion coming from your room the other customers had been complaining about."
"But you have no other …"
Rafik quickly reevaluated the next few words that were gonna come out of his mouth when he noticed her standing still, cross-armed, with a stare that could stab a thick-shelled mole to death. A certain aura surrounded her that screamed "I don't force myself to go through this shit every single fucking day, just so that I can barely afford dinner for myself."
In an instant, Rafik considered every single path he could have taken in this conversation. But he was only met with dead ends. He had no other choice than to cave into her opportunistic, or perhaps more befitting, parasitic nature.
He took a deep sigh. "How much will it be?"
"5 jinns and also 3 jinns for room's rent." She gleamed so brightly that you couldn't be blamed for mistaking her for a kind-hearted person.
"Yes, yes I hear you.." Rafik tiredly counted coins out of his pouch before handing them over to her.
"Thank you and come again." She smiled before elegantly walking away without even considering that Rafik might have had questions for her. "Oh, and I left her some leftover clothes we had since I know your half-witted brain wouldn't have thought to bring extras."
Rafik and Zekes watched as she disappeared behind the corner of the wooden hallway.
"She is harsh," Zekes muttered forgetting that Rafik was also in the room with him.
"It is true that she doesn't have the most appealing personality and that she will milk every jinn out of your pocket if given the opportunity." He told Zekes regrettably. "But she is a good person despite all that. Some people's nature don't align with what society prefers them to be. But that doesn't make them bad people."
"Is that so?" Zekes tried to figure his way around Rafik's words.
"Don't worry. You will start to understand once you get to know more people." He reassured him with a kind smile.
Zekes still wasn't sure what he had meant, but he gave Rafik a quick nod, showing that he trusted his words.
With Amatha finally gone, the disturbed quietness of the nearly empty inn was beginning to set its way back in.
All that was left for them to do now was wait, which was easier said than done for Rafik.
Zekes seemed to be engaged in a game of taly fingers with himself, a game for kids where you stretch and interlock your hands together making your forearms resemble an X. Then you rotate both hands towards yourself, and your opponent challenges you to move a finger without touching it. If you successfully move the appointed finger without moving another, then it becomes your opponent's turn to do the same. If you accidentally move the wrong finger, then you lose that round.
Despite the low humming coming from Zekes as he played his game, Rafik felt uneased from how quiet it was. He couldn't hear a single splash of water nor any footsteps from inside the bathroom.
After a few minutes had gone by, it started to worry him. What if she had decided to run away again? I mean it wasn't unlikely. She had an easy escape from the opaque bathroom window and there would be a low chance of them catching up with her in time before they lose her in the crow. Or worse, what if she was having another seizure while she was lying down in the tube? It could be silent enough that they wouldn't notice for some time and by then the damage would be too severe for Rafik to fix.
Perhaps he should go and knock again to see if she was still there. But the voice of reason inside him urged him not to and to trust her to stay. However, he knew there was no guarantee of that.
To begin with, who was he to think anyone should trust someone as helpless as him? Time and time again he has proven to himself that he is not worthy of the trust and care others display towards him. Yet now he has decided to burden a child to travel across the world with him, trying to escape a near-certain encounter. He was truly the worst of the worst.
He was dragging others into his responsibilities, only to set them up for failure. Was he making the wrong choice? Wouldn't it just be better if he lets the chapel of virtue handle this? After all, he is just a bastard who knows next to nothing about raising a child. All he wanted was to protect Zekes from harm's way, but he couldn't help but think that Maquil's trust in him was misplaced.
He always crumbled to stress when struck by a task too big for him to handle alone. And the incident at the chapel of virtue was no exception. So why was it that he chose to help Zekes out all by himself? Was it because he felt as if he was somehow in debt to Maquil or could it be the guilt of his past failures punishing him to go on a suicide mission.
No! He mustn't think of it as such a thing. How could he think of betraying his friend's dying, just because it felt difficult? How could he live with himself, knowing that he has passed on his responsibility to someone else?
This is why he could never trust himself. Because he was the only person who knew how truly pathetic he is.
Thoughts circled back and forth from his heart to his consciousness as if it was eating away at him with each cycle. With how his mind had been juggling between grief, worry, and accountability, no wonder why he was becoming so restless.
Suddenly, the sound of the bathroom door creaking open pulled him out of his self-deprecating cycle. He carefully stood up and began walking towards the slowly swinging door. He could see her frail digits holding onto the side of the door, which was only a third of the way open before she peaked half of her head outside.
The moment they made eye contact she flinched and pulled the door closer to herself.
"Wait!" He called out, which took her by surprise. "Uhmm…". Rafik started rummaging through his pockets before pulling out a neatly shaped piece of candy.
"Zekes told me you were hungry. I know this isn't much, but I promise that you won't feel hungry anymore if you trust me." He calmly said before extending his hand to offer her the piece of candy. Her eye was frantically searching around the hall like a cornered animal looking for an out.
Just as Rafik was about to give up hope, she shakingly grasped the candy from his palm, inspecting it first before giving it a taste.
"It is lulu berries."
She held onto it for a bit before deciding to put the whole piece in her mouth, which relieved Rafik's heart. He was advised by his old man to always carry a piece of candy with him to help children cooperate with him as part of his training as a physician.
The door steadily swung open, until he could properly see her.
Now that she was awake, he could see that she was around 9 years old, most likely. Her dark hair was cut short, but the length of it was unequal on both sides. The clothes that Amatha had provided for her were clearly a poor fit as she was too thin, even for a child her age. She was breathing heavily, her eyes still distressingly searching the room as before.
He tried to carefully approach her, but the moment she noticed, she retreated back into the bathroom.
Rafik rubbed his head trying to decide on the best plan of action.
"I really am not cut out for this." He thought as he looked at the frightened girl.
He lowered himself to the ground and sat down to look less intimidating. The girl gave him a puzzled expression.
"Does she speak Westfolk?" He looked back to Zekes for clarification.
"Uhmmm … I don't think so. She kept screaming at me in gibberish."
"Ah, kjjk. I remember." He realized. "Do understand what I am saying?" He asked slowly.
She simply replied with a hesitant nod.
"Can you speak Westfolk too?"
She shook her head.
"I know a few languages. Can you speak yours to see if I can recognize it?"
She looked half-hearted at first, but then she softly spoke.
"N fr wjfqqd mzslwd."
Rafik was perplexed. Not only could he not recognize a single word from her sentence, but the way she spelled the words out was impossibly difficult to say.
"I am sorry, but I am not really familiar with it …"
She depressed her head after hearing his response.
"But perhaps one of the interpreters near the coast would know. Do you know where your parents are?"
But she just lowered her gaze, which made Rafik feel bad for asking.
"Do you have a guardian or someone who cares for you?"
She stared at the floor and not a moment later she started weeping.
"It is alright! It is alright! You are safe now!" He reassured her. "I promise I will take good care of you from here on out."
She looked back at him and for a moment, Rafik could swear he could see something shining in her teary eyes.
"But I need you to trust me first, alright? Can you do that for me?" He gave out a gentle smile.
Her pupils gawked at Rafik before she took a few steps forward and sat down cross-legged in front of him, imitating him in a sense. He felt oddly nostalgic.
"Hello. My name is Rafik." He gestured to himself. "I am a scholar from the chapel of virtue. That boy behind me is Zekes." He pointed back. "He is my friend and I am sure he will be happy to be yours too."
Zekes didn't try to deny it, despite his usual stubborn nature.
The girl bit on her nail as she watched the floor.
"Ayya." She managed to mutter.
"Well, little Ayya, I have some friends who take care of children like you. You will live comfortably with them. Will you let me take you to them?"
Ayya shook her head at him.
"What's wrong? They are all good people. I promise they won't hurt you."
Her mind wandered for a moment, trying to figure out the best way to communicate with him. She grasped her fist in front of her heart, blew on it, and then pressed it into his chest.
Rafik couldn't make out what exactly meant to say, but he could take a guess.
"You would rather stay with me?"
She shyly confirmed.
This was a troublesome response that he wasn't expecting. Rafik was already hesitant about taking Zekes with him on his journey. He couldn't possibly take care of another child. She wouldn't be able to handle the burden of traveling.
"Let us get you some food and clothes for now." He dismissed her response, leaving the issue to be dealt with later.
It was the first time Rafik saw the girl he had saved only a few hours prior gleam up. He stood and dusted his back.
"Get ready Zekes. We are gonna check out a few stores before dusk sets in."
"Do we have to? Can't we wait till tomorrow?"
"We don't have the time. We have to leave the capital next thing in the morning."
"Wait. We are going back to uncle already?"
"Ah, sorry I forgot to tell you. I have received an envelope from your uncle." He casually explained. "He said that he had to leave on an urgent trip and he asked me to take you along until he comes back."
"No, he didn't!" Zeke's reaction took Rafik off guard.
"Zekes …"
"Uncle promised that I would be gone only for a few days. Uncle always says the truth to me." He protested.
"Well, something important had come up for him and he wanted you to come with me on a business trip to learn the trade."
"Liar! Liar!" He clenched his fist. "I won't come with you."
"Please, Zekes. Let's not do this now." He could feel a pulsating headache developing around his head.
"I don't want to."
"This is not up for debate."
"I won't come!"
"ZEKES!" Starting to lose his patience due to exhaustion, he grabbed Zekes by his wrist.
"Let me go!" He screamed while trying to tug away from his grasp. "Uncle would never break his promise to me."
"Well, maybe he wants to do something, rather than shutting yourself in a room for once!" He scolded him.
Rafik's heart sank right after the word escaped his lips. Zekes silently stared at the floor averting his gaze from him. The moment Rafik's grasp weakened, he forcefully pulled away.
"I … didn't mean …" But whatever he said, no longer held weight to Zekes.
He hatefully clenched his teeth at him as he sniffled, trying to hold back his tears.
"I hate you." He muttered under his breath, before running away misty-eyed.
"Wait!." He called out, but it was far too late. His incompetence ended up pushing him away, just like it always does to those close to him.
He sighed from the disappointment in himself for losing his temper.
"Now you have done it, Rafik." He pinched the bridge of his nose as he faced the roof. "You promised to be his mentor and you screwed it up on the first day."
He took a deep breath out and saw how Ayya had retreated back into the bathroom, scared from all the commotion, giving him all the more reason to curse at himself.
"I am sorry, little Ayya. I shouldn't have raised my voice like that." He sincerely apologized.
She startledly half hid behind the bathroom wall, cautiously observing his expression.
"Can you forgive me for that?" He asked half expecting a no.
She slowly revealed herself and walked to him, weakly grasping his hand.
He was astonished at how quickly she decided to forgive him. It was only a moment ago, that she had started trusting in him, despite having shown her an ugly side of his, she chose to stick with him.
Truly the heart of a child was pure and kind, he could but hope that Zekes sees past his faults, just like she had.
"Don't worry. I am sure he will come back once his heart has settled." He reassured her, or perhaps more so to himself.
He could hear the sound of pattering coming directly at them.
Amatha rushed down the hall looking alarmed.
"Your snotty brat just darted out of the inn while gouging his eyes out!"
"It is alright. We just had a little misunderstanding."
"I don't care what you just had, but you can't let him run about outside all by himself!"
"It is my fault. I pushed him too hard." He admitted. "But I think it is best to give him some time alone to get himself sorted."
"By Marill," She placed her palm across her face, before almost tearing her hair out at Rafik. "you are gonna get these children killed. Let me drill something useful into that hollow skull of yours. Do you have any idea how many kids just suddenly disappear daily in the streets and get sold into slavery? How can you be so calm about this?"
Rafik understood where she came from and to a point she was right, however, a part of him wanted to trust that Zekes could take care of himself. Now more than ever, he had let him find his own resolve, for the road ahead of them was not a kind one. Even though he was a spoiled brat, he was also a capable one at that. Sooner or later, he is gonna have to get out of his comfort zone and Rafik would rather have it done sooner.
"I trust in him to find his way back here once he had come to a resolution. Plus we don't have the time to spare. We have to leave eastwards at sunrise."
"There you go again. Rambling about things you don't know" She complained
"You know me too well. But if I may ask something from you … do you know … anywhere I can find clothes that could fit her?" He nodded towards Ayya.
"Just when I thought you finally ran out of ways to embarrass yourself, you just keep blowing my mind." She sighed. "Fine. I can show you around, but only if you pay the jinn upfront."