I woke up.
As I lay still on my bed with my eyes wide open, I knew it wasn't a deja vu, neither was it a dream.
I could tell, I had felt every moment, every emotion, and then, the hotness of the tears rolling down both my eyes had great pain mixed with them.
My heart was experiencing something excruciating, I was almost running out of air. I felt death inside of me followed by a certain kind of cold that gave me goosebumps.
I could finally blink my eyes and slowly sit up. As I did, my heart still beat at a faster rate.
I feared my blood pressure had gone way above normal and so I had to place my right hand on my chest.
Our wedding was in two days and Danny had been nothing short of a sweetheart.
We had dated for six months before he popped the question and delighted, I screamed yes.
But it was him. The monster from my past. I was married off to him by my foster parents- the Farnleys in the eighteenth century.
At that time I was Mary and he was Collins, the son of a Duke. Not one good memory from that time as his wife.
The humiliation, the abuse, the emotional and psychological torture I had to endure till I fell ill and died of cancer.
I remember catching him in bed with my step-sister that very night after I had called on him a thousand times from our bed and no response.
Only to find her on top of him. He showed no remorse. He only continued, turning her over and getting on top, he fucked her like I was not there, the hatred.
I remember staggering back down the stairs with the aid of a stick to get what I needed his help with- my drugs.
I made it down the stairs but couldn't reach the drugs. I died on the floor with my right hand stretched out and my eyes filled with tears.
The same tears in my eyes as I got up steadily from my bed. It was morning, I needed to spread the curtains, my legs slowly carried me to them and I let the sun rays in.
My phone vibrated on my bedside table, I knew it was him.
How could I ever act the same around him knowing this truth? Why did I get to know all of these two days before my wedding? Was it a sign that history was about to replay?
I couldn't go through all that again. I knew I couldn't even let him touch me then or kiss him. For Christ's sake, I can't look at him the same way ever.
My whole life just took a massive turn at the wrong time and in the worst way possible.
He kept calling. He wouldn't stop. He knew if I missed once, then I wasn't awake yet, missed twice, then I must be away from the phone and if I missed thrice, then something was wrong.
I expected him at my doorstep any minute and the last face I wanted to see was his.
I went into the bathroom and washed my face. My tears diluted with the water and soon my eyes cleared.
I remained there, looking in the mirror at my unfortunate self.
"I can't do this." I voiced, sweeping my hair to the back of my head with both my hands.
My head felt like a ticking time bomb. It was at that moment I realized some things are better left unknown but I already knew, what to do with the knowledge was important.
And so I spent thirty minutes ignoring his calls and making up my mind on what I was going to do.
He would ask, everyone would ask "What changed?" because our love was obvious, as clear as crystal.
And I knew I couldn't answer the question. I was going to not answer, I was just going to end things.
Ding-dong!
I sighed. I could strangle him. There was too much resentment inside of me for him at a boiling point and he had better get the fuck away from my doorstep.
But… He kept pressing on my doorbell. Each ring only gave me flashbacks from one painful memory to another.
I had to stop him!
"Amy, what's going on?" I heard his desperate voice.
He had begun banging on my door, I get it, he was worried.
"Amy!" he kept calling.
'Yeah, keep calling. The same way I called out for you over and over again and you didn't show up because you were with her! '
"Amy!" He called out again and this time I knew he was trying to force the door open.
Yup, he was in.
I heard him hurry up the stairs to my room.
There was no use hurrying to lock the door since I just discovered I had been dating Hulk.
"Amy! You- you are alright." He said, his worried tone easing up as his eyes fixed on me.
Lucky bastard, Duke's son in the past, Governor's son in the present.
From his hair to his shoes, you'd know he had never known struggle.
I stood with my hands on my waist, avoiding his eyes.
"Why weren't you saying anything, or taking my calls? I was worried." He said in his rich voice.
"Were you?" I replied.
"I am going to have the door fixed. I was desperate." He said.
"Yes, you were. But I have my own money, so I will fix the door." I told him.
"Are you okay? You are acting strange." He told me, trying to get close.
"Just stop, okay? I don't need any of this right now." I told him.
"What do you mean? What's going on?" he sounded confused.
"Nothing- is going on. I just don't have the time for this." I said.
"Time for what, Amy? You can't even look me in the eyes." He said.
'Oh, he noticed. '
"Danny, just go," I said.
"I am not moving an inch in the door's direction until you tell me why the sudden change in behaviour." He said.
"Who said there is a change in my behaviour?" I asked him.
"Amy…" He breathed out. "I get it. It's a few days to the wedding and you are stressed, you are anxious, unsettled, it's normal, I feel the same way." He said.
"What wedding?" I asked him.
"What do you mean ' what wedding?" he said.
I could see he was nearly losing his mind at that instant. It gave me great pleasure.
"Danny, I have a headache, please just go," I told him, pointing my left hand in the door's direction.
"Baby, what is-" he tried to speak.
-" Go, Danny, please, leave!" I yelled.
He had never looked so surprised. His eyes showed how much my attitude broke him into tiny fragments.
He looked away before turning his back to me as he headed for the door.
I was alone again.
I let myself fall to the bed as I sobbed hard.
DANNY'S POV.
"How did it go? Is she alright?" My mum inquired as I stormed into the living room.
I had spent the night at theirs and rushed over to Amy's from there. I couldn't go back home.
Questions ravaged my mind. My heart was beating so fast and hard, I was only trying to be man enough to hold my entire being together.
What could I have done to deserve her coldness? Why the sudden change?
I took a seat on my favourite couch.
"I have no idea what just happened," I replied to her.
"What do you mean, what are you saying?" She inquired curiously as she remained standing.
"She was so- cold, bitter when I got there. The way she talked to me, the words she used, something is wrong, I know it." I told her.
"What did you do, Dan?" She asked.
"Nothing," I said.
"She couldn't have just switched up on you.
You definitely did something, I know you, you better tell me the truth so I can save us the embarrassment you are about to cause your father." She said.
"I did nothing, okay? Yes, something is wrong but it isn't me. I swear. None that I know of." I assured her.
"The wedding is in two days. Just try reaching her later in the day, whatever it is must have faded by then." She said.
"I don't know. She sounded like she didn't wish to marry me anymore." I told her.
"That had better be your understanding of it." She said.
"I don't know what I did wrong," I assured her.
"I told you to put an end to your visits to Claire. Who knows now, anyone could have taken photos of you two just to create a scandal." She said.
"It's been over with Claire!" I roared at her.
"And Gwen?" She fired back with a stern look.
For this question, I could give no response, all I knew was that I couldn't lose Amy.