Francesca's POV
There is something to be said about being in denial and suppressing unwanted feelings. It might not be the healthiest way to live but there are times when it is needed, especially when facing the reality of said feelings is not an option. The next hour I spent in Alpha Ian's presence at the shooting range brought out a plethora of mixed emotions in me. For once, he seemed genuinely interested in helping me improve my shooting skills. He kept guiding me, giving me tips and pointers in order to better my aim and this simply made me want to impress him. It came naturally to me, this need to please him, to have him praise me in any shape or form. When I finally hit the target, he gave me this nod accompanied with a blinding grin and I felt such pride bloom within me.
There was an underlying excitement to being in the same space as him, breathing the same air. I didn't know why exactly. I just felt it. There was a comedown that followed after we returned to the house and went our separate ways. I felt unmoored, restless. I couldn't sit still. I kept replaying that moment in my head when his hands were on me, when I could breathe in his scent and how overwhelmed it made me. I let out a frustrated growl and pulled at my hair. It felt as though there was a storm brewing within me. Something was about to be unleashed, a realization made. I was standing at the edge of a precipice and it felt scary.
My bedroom was by no means small but right now it felt suffocating. I left the mansion as discreetly as I could and ran towards the forest. I took my time slipping out of my clothes. It was a ritual that always had the ability to ground me. I took off into the woods and shifted mid-run. My only aim was to clear my head and it was working. Everything was so much easier when I was in wolf form and this was exactly what I needed. I glided through the woods as though I was Pegasus among the clouds. I howled at the moon and heard an answering howl from another wolf. My run came to a stop and I looked around me, trying to locate the other wolf. They have to be near me.
A brown wolf emerged from the trees and ran towards where I was standing. I was nowhere near a lone wolf so it's always nice to run with someone. And that was exactly what I did with this wolf. We raced all the way to the clearing and shifted. It was Bianca. We exchanged a smile as we slipped into our clothes.
"Aren't night runs the best?" Bianca said.
"Yeah, they really are. I needed this one."
"Is something going on?"
"Yes and no," I replied, scratching the back of my head. "I have all these weird feelings towards someone and I don't know what any of it means."
"You want to talk about it?"
"There's really not much to say, other than it's confusing and uncomfortable. So far, I've been alone with this person only twice. And each time, I left their presence feeling utterly drained. Like, there's always this intense adrenaline rush and a lot of different emotions I find very difficult to process."
"So what you're saying is that this person pulls out visceral reactions out of you?" Bianca asked. We were walking through the clearing and I stared down at our footsteps, chewing my lower lip in thought.
"Yeah, that's one way to put it."
"Do you think…Could it be possible that this person is your mate? I've heard some people describe the state of confusion they go through when they meet their mate before knowing for sure," Bianca said. "It sounds to me like you're going something similar."
I froze in my steps at that and Bianca stopped walking beside me. "That can't be," I said in a whisper. A shiver of dread sidled down my spine. "It's not possible. The Moon Goddess would not play such a cruel joke on me."
"Hey, it's okay," Bianca assured in a soft tone. She placed her hands on my shoulders and squeezed lightly. "Maybe it's just an intense crush. Don't freak out on me now."
"That's the only thing it's allowed to be," I said, letting out a nervous laugh. We fell into step and resumed our walk.
I learned that we attended the same university and she was a year older than Patrick and I. On top of being a badass fighter, Bianca had a wicked sense of humor and it wasn't long before I'd forgotten all about my troubles. My stomach hurt from all the laughing I was doing.
"There's no way he said that," I exclaimed, shaking my head at the audacity of some boys.
"Oh he definitely did," Bianca snickered. "And he was serious. He wanted me and my ex-girlfriend to make out for his entertainment. As far as he was concerned, lesbians exist to turn men on. He reduced an entire sexuality into a fetish and he was too tone-deaf to even realize it."
"This world is filled with guys who gouge themselves on lesbian porn yet those same guys would swear up and down that girls loving girls is not a real thing."
"Right," Bianca said, "because they can't fathom that there are women out there who have absolutely no interest in men."
"Women who aren't attracted to men? Where did you get such an outlandish concept from?"
Bianca giggled at my sarcasm. "It was probably invented by feminists."
And that led us into a conversation of our favorite feminist authors and concepts. I descended into a rant about how Simone De Beauvoir's Second Sex is an absolute masterpiece that radically changed my way of viewing the world.
"She broke it down so brilliantly," I said, "What it means to be a female in general and then what it means to be a woman in the civilized world of humans but of course the same concepts apply even in the world of supernatural beings."
"It's ingrained in every culture and civilization that we're the second sex, inferior in build, in thought and capabilities," Bianca said, "but also, we're the cause of evil and temptation."
"What is such a mind fuck is the idea that our power comes from how effectively we can influence men. Not from the things we can do as separate individuals."
"That has always been society's problem though, wouldn't you say? The inability to see us as separate individuals who can kick ass just as men do."
"I for one, would genuinely love to see anyone who underestimates you in a fight just because you're a girl."
Bianca laughs at that. "Ah, it happens once in a while. Arrogant fuckers always learn their place though."
"That's my girl," I said, putting my hands around her shoulders. "Question, why the fuck are we being philosophical at this time of the night?"
"This is the best time to be philosophical though, don't you think?" Bianca wondered out loud. "Everything's so quiet. You can hear yourself think."
"Especially when you have some weed in your system and your head is up in the clouds."
"I gotta tell you, Francesca, you're my type of girl."
"I will take that as a compliment."
We were now at the gate of the mansion and I had to go in. "Hey, do you wanna come over tomorrow?"
"Anything special happening?"
"Well, it's the day before the wedding and my mother is hosting a brunch. There will be champagne, grapes, and a lot of gossiping. There will be dress fittings as well for my mother and us the bridesmaids."
"That sounds like a lot of fun. I'll definitely drop by. Good night."
"Good night, Bianca."
I watched her jog away for a few minutes before turning around and walking inside. My emotional state was completely different compared to a few hours ago and it was mainly because of her. I was now looking forward to brunch tomorrow. I had a feeling that Bianca being there would make all the difference.