I closed my eyes in nervousness, almost certain that it was gonna be my end. I just came home from having fun with a rogue, and it'd be impossible for my father to not notice. Even I could smell that I was reeking of my juices. I suppose one could say that this is the highest act of betrayal a future Luna could do in the annals of wolf history.
I slowly faced my father, ready to beg for his mercy. That Eligor guy is seriously going to be the death of me, and I mean literally.
"Yes, Father?" I replied in a small voice. He looked at me in confusion, and I was so sure that he already managed to sense Eligor's scent on me.
"You smell like you've been with a rogue, Lilith. Where have you been? I saw Willow return earlier, but you weren't with her." He said. His growing suspicion of me had me rattled. My eyes were wandering off to places, and my hands were slightly trembling. It is over for me if I cannot think of any excuse in time. The alpha would literally have me exiled to the deepest, most unpopulated, and neglected part of the forest.
I heaved a deep breath as I mumbled an excuse. I just have to be confident. It's not a big deal, Lilith. At least if I manage to escape his question.
"Didn't Willow inform you ahead of time, Father? Dusk and I went running since I hadn't been training in my wolf form for a while. We encountered a rogue on our way and it was quite a fight if I'm being honest." I replied, trying to fake a wince as I held onto my hips. My lips were almost trembling as I lied. I mean, I guess I wasn't completely lying. If I have to admit, my previous session with Eligor was quite a workout.
"That's such a weird thing to say, Lilith," Dusk suddenly whispered in my head. I frowned. I'm just gaslighting myself here to ease my nerves. The very least she could do was to show her support. Tsk.
The distrust in my father's eye gradually faded, replaced by a troubled expression. He instantly grasped my shoulders, believing I was wounded. I almost exhaled in relief, but I restrained myself since doing so would reveal that I was lying through my teeth.
"Why didn't you howl and call for help, daughter?! You could have been seriously hurt. Atticus predicted that their leader would not venture far from our vicinity since they found traces. He could kill you if you're wandering off unprepared, Lilith. Please be careful. I cannot afford to lose you too. I've already lost your mother." My father worriedly exclaimed.
I instantly felt guilty. I was doing the complete opposite of what I had told my father, and it did not help that my excuse made him reminisce about my deceased mother. I must have inflicted pain on him with the thought that I got hurt during a battle with a rogue. I'm not just a terrible Luna, I'm also a fucking terrible daughter.
I hugged my Father in an attempt to comfort him. "I'm so sorry for worrying you, Father. I'll summon the Leurunas the next time I'm having trouble in combat. Please do not worry about me anymore. I'll put in the effort to finish their legion. You're not going to lose me, Father. I promise."
He smiled, filled with relief, and finally hugged me back. "Thank you for being such a strong wolf, daughter. You're a great asset to the pack, and I'm very proud of you for setting a good example and serving as a leader for our young." He pushed me back and held onto my shoulders, nodding proudly as he stared right into my eyes.
"I hope you never disappoint me, Lilith. Be the Luna that I dreamt you to be."
My Father's words warmed my heart, yet I couldn't help but feel pressured. I doubt I'd be the Luna my father wants me to be with Eligor as my mate. I feigned a smile and nodded firmly, although my heart was already aching— knowing that I'd become the disappointment that he was not hoping for.
"Yes, Father," I replied, feigning my confidence.
…
Atticus held onto my arms as he stabilized my grip on the rifle from behind. The three of us are currently spending our time in a shooting range, training to handle weapons that are laced with wolfsbane.
Willow grunted in annoyance as she was yet again burnt from the silver bullet that she was trying to load into her gun. "Do we really have to do this, Atticus? Can't we just use traditional bullets with Wolfsbane? That's already deadly enough! All I'm getting out of this training is nasty burns." She complained.
Atticus let go of my arms and went to Willow. He glared. "This is not merely my order, Willow. It's Alpha Declan's. If we want to have the upper hand against the rogues, we should learn how to face what could kill us. Only then could we guarantee their death."
Willow sighed and just went in silence. The two of them had been yammering all day and I could not help but feel curious as to why they were bickering so much. Did something happen between the two of them? I seriously could not tell, maybe because I was too busy with Eligor.
"You've been arguing since we arrived here, the both of you. Did I miss something? I don't like being left out." I said, breaking the silence.
Atticus went to my side and swiftly leaned on the wall beside me. "I don't know about Willow but I did not do anything, Lilith. She's been hot-headed towards me since we met. She might as well go insane." He said.
I scowled at him as he aggravated Willow even more. They're so childish. If someone were observing us, they wouldn't be able to tell that Atticus is our beta.
"You speak as if I wasn't here, Atticus. Bold of you to assume that I'm going insane when you're the one keeping secrets!" She exclaimed.
My head instantly turned to Atticus in confusion. Is he hiding something from the both of us? I stared at him to make him uncomfortable.
He raised his hands in defense, which I immediately noticed. "I'm merely keeping it a secret from the both of you to keep you protected, Willow. This is not something to meddle with without a plan."
Atticus must have found something out about the rogues. He was the one in charge of snooping around them, after all. But what I could not understand was the need to keep it a secret. Maybe he's still uncertain about his discovery.
"We're not that impulsive, Atticus. You can tell us, I promise we won't act hastily." I replied, trying to fish for information.
Willow crossed her arms and nodded. "We've been friends for so fucking long, Atticus. Do you not have even a smidgeon of faith in us?" She asked, sulking.
Atticus sighed in defeat and pulled the both of us together in a much-secluded place within the shooting range. His demeanor made me virtually certain that what he knew was crucial to the pack's situation.
"I'm not sure if I saw it right, so please do not let the other wolves know just yet, especially the alpha, Lilith. I don't want to cause unnecessary panic when I'm not even certain if I got it right." He whispered, being cautious with our surroundings.
Willow and I nodded immediately, eager to know about his findings. Atticus took notice and went closer to the both of us, almost whispering air just to be wary of someone who could be eavesdropping.
"I've been watching the rogues move closely since the alpha made the announcement, Lilith. I followed one of them last week and what I saw did not make any sense, but they're making it possible." Atticus said, looking stressed out. I am almost certain that this thing has been bothering him for a while now. He looks problematic and I'm actually disappointed in myself for not noticing until today. Willow did a better job than me.
"What did you find out, Atticus? Stop beating around the bush. You're going to kill me out of suspense." Willow whined.
Atticus raised a brow and crossed his arms. "The rogues are injecting themselves with wolfsbane, Willow. They're striving to make themselves immune."
My body almost falter at his claims. They're injecting themselves with what? Wolfsbane? How can they even do that without dying?! Is this why Eligor has been paying me so much attention lately? Was it to divert my attention away from his plans?
I grasped his shoulders and gazed at his eyes, trying to assess if he was telling the truth. Atticus stared back without any hint of diffidence.
"How sure are you that it was Wolfsbane, Atticus? It could be just a strength booster or something! With or without a pack, rogues are still wolves. I don't see how they could survive a shot of that poison." I replied. I wasn't even sure if I was convincing him, or convincing myself. It felt absolutely terrifying to think of a rogue with such an ability.
The only weapon that we could use to kill them is wolfsbane. Isn't that the reason why we're training so hard at the moment to shoot them with one? It doesn't make any sense no matter how much I think about it.
"I did not say anything about surviving, Lilith. My guess is that their leader is making them do it as an experiment to get himself immunized against the poison. There's no antidote, after all. I believe he is weeding out any potential flaws before moving through with his strategy." Atticus said, ruffling with his hair in frustration.
Willow groaned and let out a low growl. "Those rogues are so fucking determined to kill us. I can't believe that their leader is killing them with wolfsbane for his own benefit! Alpha Declan was not joking when he said that they were being led by an evil man."
I felt a slight pain in my chest as I thought of Eligor. I knew he was evil, but not to this extent. He's using his comrades for himself. There are still rogues out there who are only rogues because they were abandoned or born without a pack. To think that Eligor has made them blindly follow him breaks my heart. Why did the Moon Goddess pair me with such a man? I know that it was not intentional and it was partly my fault, but she could have maneuvered my life in a different direction. Being mated with such an evil man is truly disgusting and I don't think I'll ever be proud of marking him in this lifetime.
"Now that I've told the both of you, please keep it a secret from Alpha Declan for the meantime. I still have to make sure before I give him a heads-up. I could be wrong, and the Alpha could send our troops out to seek rogues, putting their lives in danger." He replied to Willow, looking extremely concerned.
Atticus does have a point. Sending wolves out to sneak on the rogue's territory without any assurance that it is necessary could cost us their lives. We need to be healthy and strong while the rogues plan to eliminate us. The Leurunas are a pack that needs to stick together. That's what my father has always said.
I nodded my head in agreement. "I get where you're coming from, Atticus. Reporting this now without proper evidence would only cause chaos and panic among the pack. Our wolves are already stressed out enough. I think we should hold investigations first before we report this to the Alpha."
"But is it okay to leave them in the dark, Lilith? Our wolves might get comfortable and go after rogues without knowing that they could be immune from the wolfsbane. It's risky." Willow replied.
I massaged my forehead as Willow presented me with another thing to consider. She also has a point, so to state that I was merely confused is an understatement. Now that she mentioned it, I no longer know what steps we should take. I looked at Atticus and stared for help.
"I guess the only thing that we could do is investigate as soon as we can, Willow. The sooner we gather the evidence, the sooner we can inform the pack. We could also stop the field training for now to keep the young wolves safe." He suggested. Willow and I met eyes and came to a mutual agreement. Indeed, that was the better plan for the three of us to take.
I crossed my arms as I held onto the rifle that I was training with earlier. This might be dangerous to do with only the three of us, but we can't involve anyone else if we don't want them to get in danger. The least that we could do was to trust each other and investigate on our own for the good of the pack.
"Prepare yourself, Willow and Atticus. We're gonna go undercover tonight."