I got up from the ground, where the bodies I had just murdered lay, and headed for the back door of the van. I noticed several cardboard boxes stacked in a line until they filled half the van.
I approached the nearest box and when I opened it I saw several bags containing white powder.
Each box must have been worth about one million Jolts.
I smiled inside, we had completed the mission and in the process several city rats had died. My mind was filling with madness and I began to experience that fire I was missing.
Fuck Carter and his sexy body. I could use my time to help improve the city, to purge it of those who wanted to hurt it.
Glen and my companions came to where I was, I couldn't pretend to feel guilty about what I had done.
I was happy and ecstatic with happiness, so much so that I couldn't notice Glen's annoyed face until he approached me.
"Fucking maniac" Glen said before slapping me on my cheek and snapping me out of my trance.
I opened my eyes observing the reality. Several dead bodies, the floor was covered in blood, my clothes were stained red as I crawled on the ground and the heaviest thing was the situation that Glen had entrusted me with.
"Now that I remember, that's the reason you got out of the group, because you can't control your damn obsession with putting yourself in danger" Glen said making me feel more guilty.
"I really needed it" I wanted to say, but I couldn't say that I had done it all to get Carter out of my head.
"I'm sorry, it won't happen again" I said lowering my head.
"Of course it won't happen again, you're not coming back to us, if you want to die go find another way" Glen said almost choking with courage.
I shook my head, I couldn't let them take me out of the group.
"How many people died on our side?" I asked.
"That doesn't matter Aaron" Glen said a little calmer. "Understand that we can't lose you, we may die, but you can't, at least you won't die on my watch."
"But..." I started to say, but was interrupted by a curt Glen.
"I'll take you home, the others will order the goods, I don't want that substance circulating in my city."
I took off my glasses and reluctantly followed Glen.
Once Glen lifted his truck, I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. I had behaved like an immature child all for the sake of getting a man out of my head.
"Something's wrong with you," Glen said trying to keep his voice calm. "I thought you'd recovered from your crazy, you know, that obsession...".
"My obsession with killing" Complete the sentence. "I had already done it, but something happened. Tonight I felt alive again".
"But we are good, we don't kill unless we have no other choice. Come on Aaron, tell me what's wrong with you, I'll help you heal like last time."
"No" I said without even thinking about it. I didn't want to tell him that a man had seduced me and had awakened in me something I was unaware of, a lust that should never have existed.
If Glen considers me crazy for murdering, he would certainly consider me sick for being obsessed with a man.
"It's okay, you don't have to tell me, but I won't take you on my missions. Maybe I can introduce you to someone to occupy your free time."
My face turned red just hearing that he would introduce me to something. I couldn't tell him that it had sparked my madness to return to my missions.
Glen guffawed as he watched my face.
"What's that with, you've met someone and you don't have the courage to confess to them how you feel" Glen said with a chuckle.
"Fuck off, Glen" He said, but it only caused Glen to keep laughing.
"He must be a real idiot for you to think he's not worthy of you, but let me tell you, love works like that, it doesn't understand reason."
Carter was an idiot, even he couldn't deny it, but it bothered me that Glen spoke it so easily, that he read my mind, awakening any dirty thoughts I had locked up in my mind.
"It can't be Wallace, you treated him like a colleague last time. It must be someone you met at the academy, but I bet you anything Bill will tell me who it is."
"I'll throw that robot in the trash if he dares to say anything" I confessed, causing Glen to laugh again.
"You're a good kid, give yourself a chance" Glen said before parking in front of my shop.
I got out of his truck without saying a word and slammed the door behind me.
I wouldn't give Carter's asshole a chance.
If Glen didn't give me the opportunity to join his team, I would find another solution to quench my need and lust, I didn't mind starting where I started, where I discovered my obsession with blood and dead bodies.
At least that night I didn't have to. It was a few hours before dawn and my madness had healed for the day.
As I entered the workshop, a light pierced my eyes, blinding me with its intensity.
"Hell Bill, it's me" I said, causing the stupid robot to turn off its security system.
"I'm sorry Master Aaron, I've been in alarm since you came out, I couldn't rest because of my worry."
"You are a robot, you have neither feelings nor reason to rest" I said somewhat annoyed.
"I understand Master Aaron."
"And listen to me carefully Bill, if anyone asks you about Carter you will not say a word or that circuit inside you I will use it to build a blender."
"Don't worry Master Aaron, you know that I would be incapable of revealing your secrets."
I shook my head, I couldn't believe Bill had the ability to lie.
I walked to the bathroom and started to take off my clothes full of blood. I looked at my face in the reflection of the bathroom, those little blood stains made me smile for a moment. It was the obsession that would keep my mind busy for a while.
Watching the blood run down my bare skin, letting itself be carried away by the water of the shower, made me feel like someone new, like someone who won't need anything else.
Fuck Carter, I was capable of deleting his video right then and there if I wanted to. I didn't need him, I didn't need Carter and his sensuality, it was just me against the world as it had always been.
I finished changing and went to bed. I couldn't even sleep that night. I was so full of energy that I kept working on my projects until it was dawn.
I smiled inside, I knew what I had to do to end my obsession with Carter, to look him in the face without problems.
I opened my screen and looked at the video he had sent me.
I could not delete it.