The next Sunday morning, Jill and her mother Jane were frantically running around the house like two headless chickens, trying to find lost earrings, while eating breakfast, when she was dishing up the slightly burnt scrabble eggs, she realised that the Master chef of the family was not present at the table, she quickly ran to his room to wake him up.
'Jack!, Jack!'
Jack replied with a grant that sounded like an old walrus farting.
'It is time to go to church!'
Jack did not respond, instead he covered his head with the duvet and went back to sleep, giving his mother a clear indication that he was a satanic little brat that was possibly possessed by one of the princes of hell, which he refuses to let go because they tell him jokes and provide him with exciting entertainment on those lonely, cold nights.
As for his mother, she did not bother trying to convince him otherwise because he was a lost cause anyway, she closed the door behind her, after what seem like two hours of racketeering and clinging and banging, depriving Jack of his precious beauty sleep, the two annoying entities finally left the house and peace and quiet finally prevailed against the evilness of noise, not for long though.
At once the house was dead silent, Jack covered his head and closed his eyes, only to be woken up a few minutes later by heavy breathing in his ear and the kettle boiling.
'They are back, impossible…'
The home invader yawned in his face, releasing a strong smell of all alcohol, which attacked his nostrils violently, causing a burning sensation in them, it felt like his nose hairs were on fire.
'This is definitely not my mother!!!!!....,why does this have to happen to me….okay…Jack…pull yourself together man!...breath….Breath…just….breath…not too loud now, we do not want him to pick up that we are awake…now let us think…We have to think here....this guy is properly far too strong for you…, so the only thing you can do is a surprise attack, then….run!, his face is so close to yours.. hit him right in his nose, his eyes will tear up and blinding him temporarily giving you the opening…can I do it?...Yes I Can!'
Jack clutched his fist, turned on his back pretending to be asleep, he could feel the invader follow his face, with his own, until he positioned it perfectly in between Jack's eyes, sensing that the perfect opportunity has arrived, Jack crunched his core tight and launched his upper body, especially his head at a surprisingly fast velocity, hitting his enemy right in the nose, causing him to cry out in pain and stumble backward, Jack threw his duvet off him, jump off the bed and hit the ground, rolled over on his back and saw that the entire room was spinning and a sharp pain passing through his head, then he saw the figure walking over to him and what sounded like laughing, finally what felt like an decade of waiting, the enemy appeared in his line of vision, Jack watched him, click his nose into place, blew out the blood on the floor and said.
'I am not cleaning that up, Oi!...'
The man came closer to his face.
'Jackie boy!, are you alright man?'
'Sir C.J is that you?'
'Nooo, I am your father, back from the grave.'
'It is definitely you.'
'That was a very bad joke Cather, What happened to your nose?' Sevki said, wiping her hands off, with a cloth.
'I don't know, ask your best friend here, he just decided to pop me in the nose and run.'
'Okay, Jack are you alright, your eyes….'
'Look at this now, I am the one actually bleeding here but we are caring for the person that caused all of this nonsense in the first place, anyway if this is how you treat your guest, I am never accepting an invite again.'
'Well, I never invited you in the first place, you broke in.'
'He makes a valid point, Cather.'
'How did you get in anyway?'
'A magician never reveals his secret.'
'Mysterious as ever.'
'Are you two done with your bedroom talk, can we go to the living room now?'
'Yes, of course Sevki, where are my manners.'
'I was wondering the same thing.'
'That is rich coming from you.'
'I have to you agree with you there.'
'Ha!, unfortunately for you two, I am rich, Ha..ha..ha'
Sir C.J reach in to his pocket and took out a few coins and threw them on the floor in front of Jack and Sevki.
'There is some peanuts for you two, go and enjoy yourselves, that is the most money you will ever see in your lives, I know I am too generous, I am out!, peace!'
He wiped his nose on his fore arm and left the room.
'How do you stay with that guy?'
'I…..have no answer, let us go, before he gets cranky.'
'You go on ahead, I will join in a little while, I just want to put something else on and not sit around in the clothes I slept in.'
'Alright, as you wish, should I clean this up?'
'No, do not worry about it, I will take care of it.'
Sevki nodded and left the room.
Jack undressed quickly and put on his Sunday best, combed his hair, ate a breath mint and then left his room, with his stomach in chest out.
When he arrived in the in his lounge barely recognise it, the table cloth screamed I am rich , it looked like it cost more than his house and everything in it, the table set up, seemed liked they were going to host the queen for tea.
'What is going on here?'
Sevki looked at Sir C.J and raised an eyebrow, 'Would you like anything Jack?'
'I would love everything but when and how do you set up everything so quickly?'
'It is quite obvious, I am rich and I have class.'
'Oh, how could I ever forget something that important, without you reminding me everyday of every second.'
'Forgive me Jack but you honestly did not expect me to drink out of your cups, did you?'
'Of course not, that would have been silly of me, now that you have expressed your disgust for my house and poverty- ridden and filthy cups, why have you come here?'
'Right, someone took offense.' Sir C.J made eye contact with Sevki and pointed at Jack. ' Please, give this man some tea, he needs to cool down….Jackie boy do you want to know something interesting about tea, never mind I will tell you anyway, you would think that on a hot day, if you drink…'
'I do not care, why are you here?'
Sevki coughed and looked at Sir C.J.
'Seems someone is in the fourth stage of grieving or third, I am not sure….hence the reason we are here.'
'Yes, Jack, we are here to see how you are doing, you know, since your father died recently and all that.'
'Yes, that is a good one Sevki, he will not suspect that we are actually only here to find out of he is still going out with Charlotte?'
'Aah, now it makes sense, you know I can still hear you right?'
'That was the whole point of talking loudly to Sevki, I did not want to seem insensitive or anything and still be beating around the bush, otherwise we will be sitting here wondering when it is the right time to ask you.'
'You too, Sevki?'
'I am sorry but I am a sucker for love.'
'I understand, no problem but I think my sister and mother will be back, soon so I think it is time for you to go and we can meet at our place and discuss the details there.'
'Oh, I would not worry about that, I have a feeling that Pastor Dean will be holding a special long sermon today, trust me, when he starts with his witchcraft and evil spirits, then there is no stopping him.'
'Yes, I know right, I remember, last year sometime, he went on about those things we were stuck in the church for almost four hours, the man really hates those things.', Sevki said, drinking a large gulp of tea as she was reliving that day in her head.
'In all goodness, dear Jackie boy, you do not have to worry about any unforeseen interruptions taking place, because old Pastor Dean,' Sir C.J's accent changed to an Taxon cowboy when he pronounced the name then back to his own, 'Is surely channeling the message for all those unfortunate people that decided to attend church on this very day, God Bless them, you might only see your mother tonight old chum.'
'I take it, you had something to do with this, well…I, maybe.'
'Cather, quiet, Jack as you were saying.'
Sevki put her cup down on the table, took a biscuit from the tray, and started nibbling on it like a hamster, staring at Jack with great focus.
'Well she said we could go out next week sometime because…'
'Because of your face!'
'No!'
'If it starts like that, it is done!,', Sir C.J clapped his hands together, 'No, offense but I can understand where home girl is coming from, I mean, I too would not like to be seen in public, with a face like that, your face looks like a dog's testicles that had a rare, first of it's kind outbreak of pimples and acne, like syphilis and flesh eating bacteria had a baby and that is your face, as if…'
'Enough!'
Sevki chucked the half nibbled biscuit at Sir C.J, Jack watched it pass so close to his face that he could smell the ginger as it zinged past the tip of his nose, hitting Sir C.J dead center on the fore head making a woody sound on impact.'
'Have you gone mad!', Sir C.J Jumped up to his feet, his jaw muscles rippling in anger.
Sevki calmly put her hands on top of one another, took a deep breath then got up composed and relaxed, straighten out her dress, got up and started clicking her fingers, closed her eyes and started swaying side to side.
'Uhmmm, Sevki are you okay?, Sir C.J what is happening here.'
'I don't know, I have never seen this behavior before.'
'What!, you live with her?'
'Yes, that does not mean I know everything about her.'
'Great, simply amazing!, you broke her and now you do not know how to fix her.'
'Wait, what is she doing now?'
Jack kept his facing Sir C.J and As Sevki, started dancing with more vigorous moves, touching her ears, tip toeing on the floor, putting on hand on her chin and smiled at the ground, while wobbling her head, punching the air repeated but Jack kept his focus on Sir C.J.'
'C.J!, What is happening!'
'Just keep, your focus on me Jack and that is Sir C.J to you.'
'You want me to show manners at a time like this!'
She then ran her fingers from his head down to his back.
'OH MY GOD!, she is touching meeeeeeee!!!, aaaaahhhhh!', Jack was at the point of bursting into tears.
'Jack!, pull yourself together man!, make no sudden movements, that might set her off, I think she has mad cow diseases or rabies.'
'I have neither of those.' Sevki said in a cool and calm voice, sitting down on her place and sipping her tea like nothing has happened.
'Sevki, what just happened?' Sir C.J asked her, slowly approaching Jack.
'You were angry, I acted crazy, so you could forget about your anger, tell me something are you angry now?'
'No.'
'See, just as I anticipated.'
'Amazing.'
'Thank you Jack, who runs the world…girls, now if you do not mind continuing from where you left off, I would really appreciate it.'
'No, problem.'
'Well, played.'
'Shhh..I am listening.'
'As I was saying, before all of this happened, I really do not know what just took place, she said that we could go on a date next week Saturday because my father is like dead and stuff.'
'Makes sense, because you will have money then and your face will look a little better, giving me time to put a whole new plan into action.'
'What is wrong with the plan you already got.'
'It is slap dash and no real planning went into it, really not up to my standard but with this extra time you got us, I can make it spectacular.'
Sir C.J got up and did a little twirl.
'I hope so, for finally we get to expose Mr Gibson aka Greg for the lying, cheating, animal abuser he really is.'
'O!, no we are going to do a lot more than that, just you wait and watch.', Sir C.J said with a big smile on his face.
Sevki and Jack looked at each other, than at Sir C.J wondering what this crazy man has in store for poor Gregory Doris Gibson.