THE JESUS SLAY QUEENS 2
Episode 49
© Ayo Omolayo
"So you mean a witch came to the house and tried to strangle you?" Daddy asked.
I couldn't answer, all I did was to give a nod.
"Hmmm! I m I can't believe you did all this. I was not expecting something like this from you. Of all people you should know that you are a marked person. And that the enemy is after you 24/7. So if everyone is careless with what is happening around them, you should not be one of them."
"I'm sorry Daddy! I knew I was not supposed to do this, I don't know what came over me. I tried my best to control myself, but it wasn't working. I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment. I believe this will be the last time you will experience something like this from my end."
"I know, I understand what you're trying to say, but trust me when I say this you are not far from repeating what happened to you if you do not learn the secrets that God was teaching you. No amount of resolution all resolved to do better next time would make you do better."
I said I'm bout my head. I don't look at mummy who have been silent all this while. She had an expression of sadness on her face. I knew she had a lot to say but was only waiting for the right time when both of us will be alone.
What a world! To be honest I hate it with every fibre of my being. I can't believe I am this marked by the enemy. To believe that every little mistake I make can lead to the loss of my life, is seriously scary. Well I can't blame it on anyone, I am in the middle of spiritual warfare. And one thing you must all learn in warfare is that you must be on guard. So if at all I got careless, I believe I could blame it on myself.
Well, it still doesn't change the fact that I hate this life. Really? How do I survive in a world like this? Will I always have Mummy to run to when things get messy? What would have happened if Mummy was not around? Who would have run to for help if there was no one to help?
I'm in a situation like this where you seriously need the help you can get, how do you survive when there's no one to help?
Honestly, I am fed up! I just hope God helps me out. Daddy please, I am in a terrible situation here and I need you so badly. Do not turn your back on this little girl. Have compassion on me and answer me speedily. It's obvious the enemy is planning more than I expected. And accept you come through for me, they can't wait to celebrate their victory over my head.
It narrowed down to the scripture I read in psalms. Had it not been the lord who was on our side, now may Juliet say. Had it not been the Lord who was on my side, when the enemy rose against me, they would have swallowed me up. When they are wrath was kindled against me, then they would have swallowed me up alive. Blessed be the name of the Lord, who has not given me as a prey to their teeth. My soul is escaped like the bird, out of the trap of the trapper.
I believe that Psalm was what played out tonight. Just as expected, as though it was planned, everyone began to leave the room and soon it was just me and mum. I wasn't surprised, because I was expecting it.
"Mummy I'm sorry!" I said as I looked into her eyes and saw her grief and her pains.
All the people in the world who had the potentials to hurt her I am not supposed to be in the list, but I found myself doing the opposite. I believe God was teaching me something, something that will change my life forever. Something that would never leave me as ong as I live.
"Juliet!"
"Yes ma!"
"I already told you I have forgiven you! Why is it so hard for you to believe it?"
"Because I don't feel like I am! I just don't understand how I feel! I think I'm supposed to feel happy I'm supposed to feel excited, I'm supposed to feel loved, but there is this intense guilt that is stuck itself to my heart. With all the assurance you gave to me that I have been forgiven it still refuses to go. I believe it's an evidence that I am not yet forgiven."
She sure could and place their hand on my shoulder.
"Listen to me Julie angel! Have you forgotten what the Bible taught you. Forgiveness has nothing to do with your feelings. It has everything to do with your faith. You cannot obtain God's forgiveness true feelings. Hebrews 11 verse 5, made its statement clearly. But without faith it is impossible to please him. For he that cometh to god must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.
The first thing that will guarantee you that you will receive anything from God is your faith, not your feelings or should I say your emotions. Julie angel, you have been forgiven but you only need to believe you have been forgiven and you believe because you actually believe.
I don't know if I'm confusing you?"
"No ma!" I answered.
"This is a major problem so many believers. Even after asking God for forgiveness, they keep on asking him for forgiveness. Sometimes God will be so shocked, he will be like, 'But I have forgiven you!'
It makes us find out that forgiven this people is not just enough. They will be needing more to be convinced they are forgiven. So I don't know if I should put you in their category. Would you love to be numbered among these faithless kind of believers? Who do not believe God's word but believe their feelings, to be convinced about what God said about them."
"No ma! It's a terrible company!" I answered instantaneously.
"Good!"
"But mummy, can I ask, why is the feeling still there? The word of God makes me understand that I have been forgiven, but the feeling is still there. Why?"
"The feeling is still there because the emotions in your soul is active when scene takes place. The emotions in the soul of a man or should I say the part of you that makes you feel, comes alive when sin takes place. So even when you turn back to God to do a spiritual exercise, it doesn't just fade. It lingers, with the intention of making whatever spiritual exercise you engage yourself in to be boring, futile and fruitless.
Take for example those addicted to masturbation. Immediately after the act, they tried your possible best to get back to God, but your emotions is not encouraging. So even though these people are forgiven, because they try to gain it through their emotions, it doesn't get to them.
So you need to understand, that your walk with God is based on faith. Sometimes you get to feel the move of the spirit. Sometimes you experience the Holy Ghost tangibly. And it's such an awesome experience, one that you crave for all the time. But you must never depend on emotions to know that the Holy Ghost moved.
Many believers have been victim of this spiritual scandal. They believe that every time you go into God's presence, there's a particular atmosphere, there's a particular feeling in the body, there's a particular way I am supposed to feel. And as long as I don't feel it, I did something bad. Holy Ghost, tell me where I missed it? The Holy Ghost did not move the way used to move. I did not feel those sensations I usually feel, therefore, it looks like I did something bad.
I've made you to realise, that whenever you idolize a move of God, God is compared to switch. God is dynamic and multifaceted. He's not a phenomenon that is easily predicted by men. So when you begin to enjoy the emotions in the place of fellowship. And instead of being grateful for it, you are beginning to define God with those emotions, he's compared to switch. Force to change the pattern and he is forced to put you in that spiritual dilema.
So in the long run Juliet, you will learn to understand that working with God is by faith. It has nothing to do with how you feel, but it has everything to do with what you believe. Do you believe you have been forgiven? I'm asking you, do you believe you have been forgiven?"
"Yes, I do!"
"Don't forget about how you feel. Forget about the emotions. Till tomorrow, my Bible still tells me that the just shall live by faith. For we walk by faith and not by sight. So Julie angel learn to believe. Learn to look at what God has spoken, and look at what you feel, but hold on to what God has spoken. Because one thing the devil is known for, is that he is a father of lies. And he's still in the business of deceiving God's people. So even after God has spoken that you are forgiven. He still be ready to make you doubt that God has not forgiven you."
"Mummy, what can I do when I believe that I am forgiven and yet the feelings keeps insisting? When I confess my faith in God that I believe I'm forgiven. Does that automatically takes away the feelings?"
"Yes that's a good question. The fact that you confess your faith, does not automatically make the feelings to fade. So what exactly are you expected to do in a situation like that? The answer is quite simple. You'll find the answer in James 4:7.
Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.
So after agreeing with God's word that you have been forgiven. You move on to confronting the devil with the reality of God's word. The devil does not give up easily, so you keep seeing that the feelings refuses to fade. But just like that scripture says, resist the devil and he will flee. So you keep resisting until victory is yours. The devil wants to make you believe it's a lie, that God lie to you. But you keep declaring the reality of God's word. It will form a strong conviction in your heart that the devil will be unable to break."
"Thank you so much ma! I really appreciate all you've done for me!" I said and hugged her.
"Now let me leave you with your dad to continue your class. I believe you were learning something about emotions and he has so much to teach you! Get your bible study equipments. I don't think you are going to bed anytime soon. You and Dad have a lot to discuss! Good night!" Mummy said and stood up.
To be Continued.......
This is a lesson for all. Many of us have allowed facts and sight to blur our spiritual vision.
Many of us have forgotten that we walk by Faith and not by sight. Everything about many of our heart is only a product of facts.
When sickness hits us, we forget everything that has to do with what God said about divine health. And even when prayed for, we still don't conclude our healing because of how we feel.
Learn to see with the eyes of faith, not emotions or facts. Allow God's word to decide and let his word reply all the negative thoughts Satan throws at you
INSPIRED BY THE BREAD OF LIFE
WRITTEN BY AYO OMOLAYO
YOUR BROTHER IN CHRIST 🙏