The date was September 17th, 1862. It was also a Wednesday. Elmer Griffiths took in his surroundings as he strolled along the somewhat quiet (but not too quiet), yet somehow loud (but not too loud) streets of Bristol. His alabaster-white skin ached in the snarling grasp of the sun, and he yearned to find solace in the shade of a tree or the awning of a nearby pawn shop. Even so, Elmer persisted. Teeming with motivation for his next paycheck, the eager young man quickened his pace and fixed his posture as he continued to stride towards the mundane job he worked at the local paper-selling company.
However, Elmer was still as naïve as a schoolboy, and had a tendency to get distracted by the myriad of details that he was almost always absorbing. He stopped one time to inspect a crack in the pavement, two times to pet a pompous looking lady's poodle (two different poodles, just for clarity, and yes, all of the pompous ladies' dogs were poodles, for some universal reason that was unbeknownst to him), and three times to check his watch to make sure that it was properly set to the same second as the Sun (now, of course, it was practically impossible to tell what time it was based on the Sun's position, but Elmer believed it was possible nonetheless).
Although the trek from his condominium to his workplace was little more than 4 kilometres long, Elmer still felt that it lasted a millennia. Granted, that was most likely because he continually distracted himself as he was walking, but as the overly confident twenty-four year old he was, the man didn't bother to consider that possibility.
Elmer once again found himself faced with yet another distraction when a little black cat trotted across his path, quite obviously terrifying him as black cats are a sign of bad luck, which enabled him to almost set foot upon one of the aforementioned cracks in the sidewalk. Thus, he began to curse the wretched cat for ruining his beautiful day.
"Oh, you bloody scoundrel, you! It is because of you that I nearly broke me mum's back! How God and all of the heavenly angels above could possibly let you, you mangy fleabag, you, to cross my path, my path, is unforgivable! Me poor mumsies is probably shaking in her boots right now, and it is all your fault!"
It was quite obvious that Elmer ignored any and all of the confused and/or concerned stares that he received after cursing out the poor cat, who was just trying to snag a fish at the local market. He continued muttering the curse-words under his breath, since it was an extremely big deal that he could have almost broken his mother's back. Elmer was quite close with the woman, and didn't give a care about how he could be perceived as effeminate due to their good relationship. In fact, Elmer believed, the closer a man was to his mother, the more success he would have in his attempts to court a woman. Whether this was actually true or not would remain undetermined for the rest of his life.
Unsurprisingly, this was not the end of the "poor" man's "strife" as he made his way to work. The most challenging part of the walk, which quite often left Elmer dazed as if he had just been through a war, was the bit where he was required to cross a street. Now, the average man would be able to overcome this challenge with ease, but as it has been previously established, Elmer J. Griffiths was no average man.
You see, each and every time that he went to cross a street, Elmer was blinded by his naive and unshattered confidence to the point that he repeatedly failed to do the one thing that was required of him when he crossed a street: look both ways to ensure that he doesn't get absolutely mauled by an oncoming vehicle.
Up until this fateful day, Elmer was graced with dumb luck whenever he crossed the street, as there were just no cars near him as he made the treacherous crossing. However, this day was special, in a way that not many people should be able to predict. And that, my dear friends, is why Elmer Griffiths was nearly struck dead by a car that morning.
The unassuming car was moving along its typical route, per usual, with the exception of a screaming young man blocking the way. The reaction of the people inside said car was similar to that of people trapped on the road due to a snapping turtle in front of the car, unsure as to if they should wait for the turtle to move, or attempt to scare it away, allowing them to continue on their journey.
Eventually, Elmer's scream of bloody murder (not literal bloody murder, as that would be too horrible, especially for poor Elmer, to go through) subsided. He continued his walk as if nothing had ever happened in the first place. How he was able to recover from such a traumatizing accident would unfortunately remain forever unknown.