Introduction
Here i am again, it's the year 2023 and my life is a complete mess and the year has barely begun. I wake up every single morning hoping that my problems would get solved but no , they won't. I'm trying to reasamble all the pieces left of me and it's taking forever.
Part 1
It was a monday morning on the 7th of March 2022 if I remember very well , I woke up and took a shower and got dressed then went to school, on the way to school i started getting panic attacks out of nowhere as if it was a sign that something bad was going to happen but i didn't quite understand whether I should do something about that.
My day turned out to be pretty bad, I suddenly got nervous for no reason ..you know the same way one gets nervous before.
I isolated myself ,i didn't go out with my friends like I did on other days, I just wanted to be alone for no reason. I remember yelling at one of my friends telling them to stay far away from me, that i don't need them no more , I wasn't myself back then.
It was time to go home around 10am because the teachers had some sort of meeting and all that . I went home but on the way I heard someone calling oout to me , i turned back and no one was there . I took the next step I heard someone screaming in a harsh voice..i got scared and started walking a little bit faster . I got home , i forgot to lock the gate i went inside and i left the door open ..i went to my room i took off my school shirt and as i was taking it off i heard some weird sounds coming from my window... i went to check but nothing was there , i wore my school shirt again ...
I went to lock the door and THERE IT WAS!!
my biggest fear staring at me ..and i stood there for like 5 minutes , i couldn't feel my legs...i was petrified ..i didn't know what to do next ..i was all alone
I tried calling out for help but no one heard me cry. I tried going to lock myself up in my room he followed me ..he pushed the door and that's how he got inside. He pushed me and i fell on the floor and i hit my head very hard on the floor ..he dragged me and i tried kicking him of me.. my head was spinning i fell unconscious for a moment i guess that's how he picked me up and placed me on my bed . I woke up and my head was hurting due to the fall. I opened my eyes and i found myself n^ked and there was blood on my bed i couldn't move my legs i started screaming again and again he came back the moment i regained my consciousness he told that he wanted me to be awake and witness it when it happens ..
He was an animal ..the way he touched me and the way he hit me , why did that happen to me , as he was getting off me he said "make sure not to tell anyone about this and don't say a word , you must burn those clothes you're wearing".
I was so weak at that moment i just gave in , i couldn't fight back
I came to my senses 3hrs later as i tried moving my legs , i started feeling pain ..dreadful pain and i saw blood and i had a phobia for blood i couldn't stand seeing the blood ..i screamed calling out to my mother and i realised that she wasn't there .. i got up and went outside with my clothes and bed covers and burnt them as he said...
Part 2
"They say broken hearts can be mended..I guess that's the story of my life."
(I'm broken but I'm still standing..)
I started hating myself..every night i got nightmares...i could literally feel his breath on my skin..i woke up went to the bathroom and i just got in the bathtub with my clothes on I just cried...
I started having anxiety attacks , tics..I couldn't control it .. I had depression later on I was a psycho...
I had sleepless nights ... started going for theraphy but that didn't help..
My life turned into a complete mess..people started pointing fingers at me...like it was my fault
I remember one of my teachers making fun of me. He told 2 of my friend's my secret
He said " did you know that she was no longer a virgin"
and i couldn't take it that broke me ..
I don't know how many nights i cried myself to sleep..