Facing each other and sipping a glass of wine, Illness calmly thought.
(Seriouslyyyy, this is troubliiiiiing. I never thought it would be thiiiiiis difficult to control my emotioooooons.)
From the viewpoint of Kaito, Illness was handling the situation with a mature and relaxed attitude and seemed calm and collected in this situation, but in reality, her innermost feelings were different.
Her words of a few minutes ago came from her heart, and even now, her mind was in a different state than it would normally be in.
(Even when I suppress my desiiiiiires, they seem to come out without limiiiiit, and I can't help but feel repulsed at my own shallowness. Seriouslyyyy, I really didn't know where these unknown feelings were in meeeeeee.)
Until she met Kaito, it hadn't been difficult for her to control her emotions. In fact, controlling her emotions had never even crossed her mind.
Illness always acted natural... which in a way, proved that she was empty, but she was always able to flatly spend her time and never had any doubts or felt inconvenienced about it.
However, when she was with Kaito, Illness' emotions were moved much more than before, and she herself was at the mercy of them in a bewildering way.
(Maybe it's becaaaaaause I decided to be more selfish than usual todaaaaaay? Normallyyyyy, this type of occasion should have ended when we got back from the night markeeeeeet... but the time I spend together with Kaito-sama makes me sooooo happy, so comfortableeeeee, that it's hard for me to stop myseeeeeelf. I'm even troubling Kaito-sama because of thiiiiiiiis.)
After the night market, she offered Kaito a cup of tea and went to the bathroom to wash his back, and even at this time of the night, she's still enjoying her evening drink with him.
(I should be apologetic to hiiiiiim, but seriously, how troubliiiiiing. All I can think about now is how happy I aaaaaaaaam.)
The reason why Kaito, who can sense emotions with his Sympathy Magic and is sensitive to changes in emotions, is unaware of Illness' feelings of confusion is that Illness' feelings of happiness were so strong that they overshadowed it.
Therefore, the feelings Kaito could feel from Illness conveyed through his Sympathy Magic were all feelings of blessedness and joy, so he was unaware of the confusion in her heart.
(What do I want to happeeeeen? What kind of person do I want to be for youuuuuu? The me back theeeen would never have thought I would worry about something like thiiiiiiis.)
If her former self, the Illness before she met Kaito, were to look at her current self, she would be astonished from the bottom of her heart.
She has changed so much that she was convinced that no one would call her empty if they saw how she was now
(Even though I should have been satisfied seeing you happyyyyyy, how mysteriouuuuuus. When I am with youuuuu, I realize that I, who haven't changed oooooover the years, am changing more and mooooooore. I'm confuuuuuused, but I'm happy that I, myself, am changiiiiing, because I'm sure it's because of what Kaito-samaaaaa has given me.)
She was bewildered by her changing self, but she enjoyed the change and felt happy about it. Even the fact that Kaito's happiness was all that mattered to her and her own happiness was able to see his smile was gradually changing.
Her desire for Kaito's happiness became stronger, and although she hadn't yet been able to formulate her wish clearly, she began to hope for a future with Kaito.
(...Every time I talk to youuuuu, every time we spend time together like this, I feel more and more in love with you. Soooooo much that I can't feel any limits...)
Thinking of this, Illness took a sip from her glass and looked at Kaito sitting across from her, and as their eyes happened to meet, she felt a warm heartbeat in her chest as Kaito smiled at her.
[...Kaito-samaaaa?]
[What is it?]
[If there's another opportunityyyyy, may I invite you to an after-meal drink agaaaaaaain?]
At Illness' words, Kaito looked surprised for a moment. As far as their relationship was concerned, even though he had invited her before, she had never invited him out for anything either. That's why, Kaito was a little surprised when she said that, but he immediately nodded with a bright smile on his face.
[Yes, of course... I'm looking forward to it.]
[Kuhihi, yeeeees.]
Illness' inner self, which was changing little by little, is also being expressed in her facial expression, and seeing Illness smiling more happily than usual, Kaito blushed a bit.
Even then... It wasn't like it was just Kaito...
(...Seriouslyyyyy, how troubliiiiiing. It's not that it's unpleasaaaaant, but when it comes to Kaito-samaaaa, I really can't control my feeliiiiiings... Even though tonight should have been a peaceful niiiiiight, my heart is beating a little toooooooo loudly.)