Ever since I was born, there have never been colors in my world. It's not that I'm colorblind or anything like that... It was just that the world felt like that.
It's not that I didn't feel compassion for others, or that I didn't feel joy or sorrow, but nothing had lit up a flame in my heart.
All the time I was walking around, I had only been looking at my feet. Even though I had walked forward, bearing the thought that "this way should be good", I never had any goals or dreams that made me think that "I want to go this way", nor did I feel any happiness that made me think that "I'm happy to have walked this way".
I haven't found any goals or dreams, and I didn't know what the emotion called happiness felt like... but I have never felt unhappy about such a thing.
I have feelings, I have a sense of reason... but I never had a purpose, and the me who never understood the feeling of happiness, in a sense, was probably an empty being.
However, I never felt inconvenienced by it, and I never felt the need to change myself.
I just kept walking with the same stride, looking only at my feet... I thought there was no point in thinking or knowing where the path led.
However, as I continued to walk along the path, I occasionally found that my path had split into different directions.
————-What do you think? Would you like to be my subordinate?
"Can you walk through this path?", I received such questions, inviting me to walk through a path.
————-Please. There's no one else I can turn to!
"I want you to walk through this path.", I received such statements, begging me to walk through a path.
Following their lead, advancing through their path, I walked. However, I never felt that it changed anything.
No matter what path I walked, all I could see was my feet... Never looking forward nor looking behind me, I just kept walking what the people I follow thought as "the right path".
I thought it was admirable for people to follow their goals and pursue their dreams. However, I never once imagined myself wanting to be like them.
I sometimes congratulated those who achieved their goals and said they were happy. However, I never felt the need to grasp this happiness myself.
It's just that, looking at them... I slightly wonder what kind of emotion happiness is.
Thinking that I would never have any dreams, never feel happy and just keep walking through the colorless world with the same stride, I thought that such a life is fine.
There was no need for things I couldn't have, and no point in seeking something I couldn't understand. I was satisfied with my current situation, and I didn't seek for any change.
...Yes….. that's how it should have been.
But then———– I met you.
The moment I saw you, my colorless world———– began to be dyed in dazzling colors.
The moment I saw you, within this cold heart of mine———– I felt definite heat warming me up.
The moment I saw you, the me who should be unchanging———– felt like a completely different person than I had been before.
The moment I saw you, without anyone teaching me———– I understood that I was in love with you.
As I walked down the corridor dyed in the darkness of the night, pushing my cart, I stopped to look out the window where light streams in.
The large moon hovering in the night sky, with not a cloud in sight, illuminates everyone in a gentle light.
[...It's beautifuuuuul.]
As I stared at that beautiful scene, I remembered the words I had exchanged with Kaito-sama earlier.
Kaito-sama said that he had always been under my care... but I think that he's really mistaken.
What I have done is something trivial. It's wrong to compare what I've done with the happiness Kaito-sama has given me.
Kaito-sama has changed everything for me. The moment I met Kaito-sama, I had indeed been reborn.
Thinking about it, what I've done for him isn't even enough to repay him... because it really was just something trivial...
When I met Kaito-sama, my gaze, which had only been looking at my own feet since birth, looked forward for the first time. Thereupon, what do you know? That, which I thought didn't exist... "The path I want to walk" and "the future I want to seek" existed, dazzling me with its presence.
After meeting you, everything in the world that seemed colorless until then began to look completely different.
I couldn't help but feel love... not only you, but also the world in which you live in... and the environment that brings the smile to your face.
I wish that you'd always be happy in the future, for nothing brings me more happiness than seeing you smile. Compared to the me back then... I will always love this me who began to feel these emotions.
[...As I thouuuuuught, it's really goiiiiiiing to be a bit cold tomorroooooooow. It might be a good ideaaaaaa to bring him something warm to drink in the morniiiiiiing.]
Drawing upon this feeling of happiness dwelling within my heart, a feeling that is so vivid that I couldn't believe that I didn't understand it before, I pushed my cart again and turned my gaze forward... only to be drawn by the moon floating outside the window once again.
[Kuhihi... As I thouuuuuught, it really is me who has received sooooooooo much.]
You who lit up my world, and the one I love more than anyone and anything else... You probably haven't realized it yet, right?
[At leasttttt, until I met youuuuuu... I didn't know that the moooooooon above the night sky was so beautifuuuuuul.]
The scenery that I am looking at now with a heart filled with happiness, and the world that I have come to see as beautiful————- That all of this is something I received from you...
I dearly love you, Kaito-sama. I hope that the future will be one where you're filled with smiles... And if it comes true————— I wish that I will be close by, watching your smile.