The cemetery is located on a small hill in the suburbs. My aunt and uncle built my parents' gravesite here because they thought this place is great for its nice view.
For me... this is a place I've really visited countless times since I was a child.
————Dear Mama, Papa———— Today is my birthday. Uncle and Aunt both wished me a happy birthday, but I didn't feel happy at all... Why? Is their greeting not working?
As I slowly walked through the cemetery, I heard a childish voice... and saw the back of a translucent little child. Holding a tear-stained, wrinkled diary in his hand, he read aloud in front of the grave, as if he was in the middle of a book report presentation.
...Thinking about it, I guess I didn't really understand the meaning of my parents' death at that time.
I thought that Mom and Dad had just gone to a faraway place where I couldn't see them easily, and that they would come back someday... So I started writing in my diary as if I were writing a letter to them.
Before I knew it, it became a habit, and I began to start my diary by addressing my parents.
————Dear Mother, Father———— I also played online games today. I met a newbie named Hibis-kun and decided to teach him some things. That's right, if I remember correctly, we met at...
After another short walk, I saw another translucent guy, a little older than the previous one, somewhere between the age where one considers them a boy and a young man. He was holding a thick diary in his hand, and was reading it page by page to the grave.
Thinking about it again, I think it was at that time... when it seemed like the amount of diary entries I made per day had rapidly increased. That was because I was writing in my diary every spare moment I have. I wrote just about everything that came to my mind, from the most trivial conversations to my state of mind at that time...
Perhaps, even the reason why I started playing online games... it was just to create a topic to report to Mom and Dad.
That's why, even though I had been playing extremely often, I don't think there are any events that left that much of an impression on me, except for the memories I had playing with Hibis-kun... Aoi-chan.
————Dear Mother, Father———— I have been accepted to a university. I didn't have any particular goal or a dream that I wanted to achieve, so I chose to attend a nearby university. Mom was a person who had lots of dreams, weren't you? You also wanted to make all of them come true... I still remember that you had this little memo pad with a list of dreams you wanted to achieve. However, I just can't seem to find a dream of my own. There's nothing I wanted to have, there's nothing I wanted to achieve... Still holding unto this empty feeling, I feel like only my body has grown up and became an adult.
Crouching in front of the graves, and with the diary in hand, the young man read it as if he was talking to the graves... was the me of just a short time ago. Looking at the young man objectively like this, I can really see it.
The fact that I hadn't come to terms with the death of my parents at all... It was evident with the mountains of diaries I wrote. Every time I finished one, I went to the cemetery and read it out page by page in front of Mom and Dad's graves.
I should have known by now that I wouldn't get a reply, and yet...
Perhaps, I was scared. I was afraid that if I quit writing the diary, my memories of Mom and Dad would fade away. That's why, I continued writing in my diary... and continuously wrote letters to my deceased parents. With such state of mind, even though my everyday life was repetitive and without change, I continued writing.
————The other world was at peace.
However, only a year ago... the diary, which had no content, started being dyed in new colors.
————The story began.
It really felt like a stopped clock had started moving again... it was moving slowly, yet I can clearly see it move forward...
————Being able to depend on someone...
Yes, an impetus appeared. Holding my hand, she pulled me forward.
————Fell in love.
Still, it had made me properly make my own choice and started walking.
————I'm getting closer to Kuro...
I wonder when it happened? That my time wasn't enough anymore, that I wasn't able to write about things in my diary every single day anymore...
————Filled with happiness.
I wonder when it started? That I started spending less and less time on writing my diary...
————From friends, to lovers.
I wonder, since when? That I started to feel nostalgic when I wrote in my diary...
————I want to protect that smile.
Before I knew it, Mom and Dad had started becoming memories.
————I was able to say "I'm home".
There shouldn't have been anything I wanted. There shouldn't have been any dream I wanted to achieve.
————Because our hearts are connected.
However... I found my precious treasure... in this other world.
————I'm going to live in this world.
Before I knew it, my eyes, which had only seen the past, started looking forward to the future.
————I think it's because I was able to grab it with my own power.
The things I treasure keep increasing to the point where I can't hold them within my hands, and the future I wanted shone brighter and brighter.
————I think it made me a little stronger.
Even so, I think that "that", which I had been holding onto for a long time, still lingers within my heart.
————I guess that is what people call bonds.
It was something that I had to face at some point. But for a long time, I couldn't find the courage to face it.
————My knees didn't bend and I was able to stand up.
I have received so many things. I was touched by the kindness of people countless times. And then... I regained the courage to walk forward.
That's why... unnn. That's why, doing it now is already alright with me. Fine, let's face it, the past that I've been looking away from for so long...
Before I knew it, the auditory hallucinations stopped and I arrived at my destination.
I already knew who was waiting for me there. When the inhabitants of this virtual world were replaced by black zombies, the two of them suddenly disappeared from home...
They would be the only ones waiting for me here.
[...Mom... Dad.]
Hearing my voice, Mom and Dad, who were standing in front of the grave, slowly turned around and looked at me. With the gentle, warm smile on their faces...
[...Kaito, let's go home?]
[Yeah, together with Mom and Dad, let's go back home.]
I knew that's what they would say to me. Even so, hearing them tell me these makes the young me within the corner of my heart to let out a small scream.
Telling me to hold their hands, and go back home with Mom and Dad...
[If it's here, everyone could be together, you know? There's me, there's Dad, and there's Kaito. Isn't it alright? You don't have to push yourself anymore, you can just stay with us, together in this happy dream forever.]
[...If you really cared about that matter, Kaito, we can ask Shallow Vernal-sama to turn back the time for us. Back to that time, when that accident happened... and then, we'll start over again, the three of us as a family. We'll definitely be happy.]
The words Mom and Dad spoke are truly sweet and gentle... and if it was the old me, he would have thrown everything away and held onto their hands.
Even after coming to the other world and being saved by Kuro... I had thought more than once or twice, about "what it's like if Mom and Dad were here".
We could start all over again... I'm sure that it's what I've always been wishing for. I'm sure that it's the miracle that I've always been wanting to happen for so long.
[...Mom, Dad.]
It's alright to give up, it's alright if I don't push myself forward anymore. If I take their hands, a happy dream world awaits me, where everything is just the way I want it to be.
[...Sorry.]
However, I can't take their hands.
[There are people I care about. The most important people for me, the people I don't want to lose, have been waiting for me to come back for a long time... That's why, I can't take Mom and Dad's hands.]
[...….]
[...….]
[...Even in this dream, I was glad to see Mom and Dad like this. It makes me feel really happy. Even now... No, even in the future.... I will always love you both, Mom and Dad. I'm so happy to have been born as your son.]
I was aware that tears were dripping down my eyes, but still, I slowly walked forward. And walking past between them... I said the words I couldn't say back then.
[...That's why, "goodbye"... Mom, Dad.]
The parting words I couldn't say at that time. Telling them these words, filled with my determination, I had chosen my future. Immediately after saying these words though, I felt two hands touch my back.
[...Eh?]
I knew whose hands they were. However, they weren't the hands that were trying to hold me back. Those two hands felt like they were slowly pushing me forward.
[...It's okay like that, Kaito. That's why you're my son I'm so proud of!]
[Oi, oi, it's "we", okay? Kaito isn't just your son. However, seriously... You've grown up well.]
[...Mom? Dad?]
Surprised, I quickly turned around and saw my parents with big smiles on their faces, surrounded by particles of light, just as Alyssa and the others had been before.
[Kaito, there is only one ordeal left. I think it's a difficult ordeal... but I still believe that if it's Kaito, you will definitely fulfill it.]
[Yeah, go on, Kaito. Go to the important people who are waiting for you...]
From their feet, the two of them slowly disappeared.
[Kaito, we will always love you. For being my son and growing up to a splendid adult... Thank you.]
[The only thing we can do is give you a little push but... I'm glad that we were able to do something like proper parents would like this.]
[!?]
As Mom gave me a powerful thumbs-up and Dad gently waved his hand at me... the two of them disappeared at the same time, becoming particles of light.
[...Thank you. I'm off.]
Seeing their departure, the only thing I felt was their warm, reassuring hands, pushing me behind my back...