We met again a few days later. She was working at the cash register again. It was still early, and the store was still empty. I filled my shopping trolley with ciders, boxed wine, a few bottles of vodka, and 2 cases of beer. Since I was technically the only customer, I made my way to her.
"We meet again." I greeted her as I unloaded everything.
"Oh damn!" she said, surprised by the amount of stuff I had. "Are you having a party?"
"For legal reasons, I'm going to say yes."
"For legal reasons?"
I called her closer, forcing her to lean over the counter.
"I'm selling it," I whispered as if it was some big secret. "It's kind of a side hustle… don't tell anyone."
She winked after pretending to zip her lips. The sound of beeping echoed as she began scanning the items. Anything large I returned to the trolley. Smaller stuff like cans of cider and vodka went into a shopping bag. We did some small talk, trying to avoid any awkward silence. She told me the total and I proceeded to pay.
We said our goodbyes and I made my way to the exit. I looked back, only to find I was still the only customer. I stopped and doubled back.
"Did you forget something?" she asked.
"Maybe… What's your name?"
It was sudden, but I had no choice. I had a bad habit of befriending people and not asking them their names.
"Bianca." She replied pointing to her name tag. "Bianca… see right here."
I took a quick peek at her name tag, trying not to look at her breasts. Somehow, she noticed me trying not to look and teased me by bouncing.
"Hello Bianca, my name is Joseph… but you can call me Joe," I replied.
We shook hands for the first time. Her hand felt soft and warm. I couldn't help but smile. I couldn't help but feel like a love-struck teen.
"I think I like you… as a crush," I said walking away again.
"How old are you to still be having a crush?" she asked.
I stopped again and asked her age instead. I knew asking a woman's age was forbidden, but I was curious. The look she gave me said it all. I decided to make a game out of the situation. I asked her to guess my age. 18, 20, and 21 were the answers she gave. She was disappointed when I told her she was wrong. Bianca's jaw dropped when I told her I was 27 years old. My body looked like a high school student. At some point, it became a running joke.
"I'm 31, so you can't have me as a crush." She said trying to downplay the situation.
"HA HA… The joke's on you." I laughed as I rode the shopping trolley like a scooter. "I happen to like older women."
I left her speechless on that day. I made my way home, replaying everything that happened that day. It's weird but interactions like this help me to build confidence… and I need every bit of it.
When I got home, I couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. I knew what was coming, but there was nothing I could do. As soon as I walked in through the door, I was greeted with a beer bottle. It hit the wall as I walked in. Luckily for me, it missed my head by a few inches, breaking on impact. It was still early and yet my cousin was already drunk.
"Finally, I've been waiting." My cousin's voice echoed. "Where's my shit, Dickhead."
I would have kicked her out if I wasn't a pushover. Too bad she had an accident that left her paralyzed. In the back of my mind, I couldn't wait for my next visit to the store. Honestly, I couldn't wait to leave the house in general. Any time spent outside this hell hole was more peaceful than being with her.