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Chapter 20 - Shades of Gray

Sandra paced back and forth in her dimly lit room, the haunting melody of a song was playing in the background. She couldn't help but think of what she did months ago, she would still have nightmares of that night.

Sandra was a murderer.

The words of her victims echoed in her mind, forcing her to confront the blurred lines between good and evil, heroes and villains.

"We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side," she muttered, a bitter smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Sandra had always strived to be the virtuous one, the beacon of light in a world drenched in darkness. Yet, deep down, she knew she couldn't shake the shadows that lingered within her.

Throughout her life, she had encountered individuals who presented themselves as either good or bad, never daring to acknowledge the multitude of shades in between. They saw the world as black and white, oblivious to the vibrant colors that danced outside their narrow perspective.

"Ignorance is bliss as they say - What would my life be if I asked for comfort from them" Sandra wondered as she thought of the adventurers she ventured with when she was innocent. When her home was not yet destroyed.

"I would have moved on, forgetting about my real family, the elves and maybe even give mercy to those that killed them".

Sandra couldn't help but reflect on the people she encountered daily. "Am I good? Am I bad?" she murmured, pondering her own moral compass. Her life in Arm has given her so much to think of. For she has killed for her own merit even those that don't deserve them.

"Good and evil intertwined, blurring the lines that had once seemed so distinct". Sandra knows that everyone is flawed and that society was full of hidden demons, individuals who denied their darkness while clutching tightly onto their hero personas.

"We all pretend to be the heroes on the good side," she whispered, recognizing the irony that they could all just as easily be the villains on the other side. The labels they assigned themselves were nothing more than illusions, masks to hide their true selves.

With a mix of desperation and acceptance, Sandra declared, "But what if we're the villains on the other?" a strange sense of liberation washed over her. As a part of herself spoke to her deepest fears and hidden desires, urging her to embrace her darkness instead of denying it.

She sighed, realizing that the difference between good and evil was far more complex than she had ever imagined. Like a canvas splashed with countless shades of gray, Sandra knew that she couldn't simply categorize herself or others into one box. It was in the moments when she accepted her flaws and explored the depths of her own complexity that she found true strength.

"I am Sandra, a member of the organization Arm, a dark elf, a survivor of a massacre, a murderer, and savior".

She knew that she would no longer pretend to be a hero on the good side. Instead, she would embrace her inner villain, acknowledging the demons that lurked within. It was in that acknowledgment that she would find her own truth and redefine what it meant to be a hero or a villain.

With a renewed sense of purpose, Sandra stepped out into the world, ready to face the challenges that lay ahead. She knew that the path she walked wouldn't be easy, but she was determined to navigate the shades of gray with bravery and compassion. For in this complex world, being a hero or a villain was a choice – and Sandra was ready to make hers.