"You want to cancel the marriage?"
Evanil's question echoed through the dining room, silencing the air. The maids scurried out, using the excuse of dirty dishes to leave.
I took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. "Don't you think it's too restrictive?" I asked. "You could fall in love with a noblewoman tomorrow, but because of an agreement from years ago, she can only be your mistress. The situation is different now. Back then, we were kids. Now, we're adults and can solve things better."
Evanil didn't speak. He sat silently, his eyes fixed on mine.
"I will still help you clear the dark magic," I said. "I want to strengthen my blessing and hopefully one day re-establish my family's house. I understand the political situation, and I thought of a solution. What about marrying a noblewoman not affiliated with the vassals or factions? You could find a simple country girl. They-"
Suddenly, Evanil stood up and came over to me. He pulled my face to his and locked me into a kiss. His lips were soft, and his saliva tasted like strawberries.
I melted into his embrace, my mind turning to mush.
"You don't remember everything yet," he whispered between lustful pants. "I'm not marrying you for political reasons. I know I can find another woman. I want you. I will never want anyone other than you."
We broke apart, our lips swollen and red. I looked into his eyes, and I saw the love and devotion in them. My heart skipped a beat.
"I know you don't love me now," He said. "And that's okay. I'll keep trying until you love me or until you remember the past we shared together. We can remain engaged without being married until you're ready. But I won't dissolve anything completely."
Evanil smiled. "All I ask of you is to give things a chance."
He leaned in and kissed me again, this time more tenderly. I closed my eyes and savored the moment.
Suddenly, the door to the dining room slammed open. Maliece and Edge stood in the doorway, their eyes wide with shock.
"Could you two get a room?!" Maliece exclaimed, covering Edge's eyes. "We have a child here now. Adults. Please limit passionate interactions to the bedroom!"
Evanil and I laughed, and I blushed furiously.
"Sorry," Evanil said. "We got carried away."
"Clearly," Maliece said. "Now, come on. Let's go get some dessert."
We followed Maliece and Edge out of the dining room, hand in hand. I couldn't help but smile. Even though I didn't remember my past with Evanil, I knew that I loved him. And I knew that he loved me too.
**Later that night**
I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep. My mind was racing with thoughts of the situation with Evanil.
I thought about his kiss, his smile, and the way he looked at me. I thought about the love and devotion in his eyes.
I wish I could get all my memories back at once. That way I could share in the emotion in his eyes.
I sighed. I didn't know what the future held, but I knew that in time I'll know what to do with Evanil. I just have to be patient and wait for my memories to return.
Ugh, I wish I could speed up the process.
I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, hoping to have a pleasant dream and not another nightmare.
The next morning, I woke up early and went for a walk in the garden. I needed some time to clear my head and think about what had happened the night before.
I sat down on a bench and looked out at the flowers. The sun was just rising, and the air was still cool. It was a perfect morning.
I thought about Evanil's declarence and his words. He had said that he loved me and that he wanted to marry me even if I don't feel love for him right now. He'll wait for me to love him back.
That makes me feel anxious.
I didn't know what to do. I don't dislike him or anything, but I didn't want to marry him if I didn't love him.
I sighed and stood up. I needed to talk to Evanil. I needed to tell him how I felt and stand on my decision.
I found Evanil in the library, reading a book. He looked up when I came in and smiled.
"Good morning," he said. "Did you sleep well?"
I nodded. "Yes, thank you."
I sat down across from him and took a deep breath. "Evanil, I need to talk to you about something. I don't think I was very clear last night. So I wanted to talk again because I still don't think this is right."