[ WARNING: Mentions of abuse.]
Alisha Pov
The smell of medicine and antiseptic mixed with blood filled my nostrils. I can hear the BEEP sound coming from somewhere. I slowly opened my eyes and met with an unfamiliar ceiling. It's not my room. My body feels numb. There is an uncomfortable sensation in my left hand. I slowly looked at it to find it was an IV.
I guess I'm in the hospital. What happened to me? The numbness slowly subsided. I looked around the room but didn't find anyone. My throat feels dry, like I haven't drunk water for decades. The door opened, and a woman wearing nurse's clothes entered.
She looked at me and smiled. And without saying anything, she went outside. Well, before leaving, she should have at least given me some water. The door opened again, and my parents entered with worried faces. A doctor entered the room after them.
"Darling, you are awake. How are you feeling? Are you feeling pain anywhere? Do you want some water?" My mom asked, and I slowly nodded.
Mom brought a glass of water and made me drink it with a straw. I'm feeling much better after drinking it.
"Do you want more?" Mom asked, and I shook my head slowly.
"How are you feeling, young lady?" This time, the doctor asked,
"Fine. What happened to me?"
My voice came out rough, despite drinking water. My parents and the doctor exchanged glances. What's going on? Why do they have this kind of expression? Am I dying?
I can't die yet. I still have many things to do. Silence fell into the room, and now it's bothering me. I decided to break the ice and said,
"Is it something serious?"
Before anyone could say anything, the door burst open. Everyone's heads snapped at the door, and there stood my older brother, breathing heavily.
"Princess." He came rushing towards me and patted my head gently.
"Adrian, this is a hospital you—"
"I'm sorry, Dad, but how do you expect me to react after hearing my baby sister is in the hospital," Adrian said, cutting Dad off.
"Okay, will anyone tell me what happened to me?" I asked, annoyed. The way everyone is reacting is setting me off.
"It's nothing serious, sweetheart. You just have to go through a little surgery," Dad said. If there is nothing serious, then why do I have to go through surgery?
"Why does she need surgery?" Adrian asked.
"Please tell the nurse if you have any problems, and complete the procedures for the surgery. Please, excuse me then," the doctor said and left.
Adrian and I are waiting patiently for their explanation. Mom held my hand and said worriedly,
"The doctor said, you have a hole in your heart; that's why you need to have surgery. It's just a tiny hole. It will be completely fine after the surgery. He said there wouldn't be any risk."
If there is really a tiny hole and I will be completely fine, then why are there tears in Mom's eyes?
"Are you sure that there is no risk? Will she be completely fine after the surgery?" Adrian asked, fear written all over his face.
"Yeah, Dr. David said she will be fine, and the best heart surgeon will be performing the surgery. We are lucky to find it soon, or we don't know what could have happened," Dad said.
"Are you okay, darling? Are you scared?" Mom asked softly.
"I'm not, Mom. I'm not a child, and as the doctor said, I will be fine." I gave them my best smile. The surgery sounds scary, but I can do it.
"Awww, my brave girl. Do you know how scared I was when I heard you were in the hospital? Jenny was on the verge of crying when we got here," Mom said.
"Wait, where is she?"
"She got a call from her dad and left just before you woke up. She said she would be back," Mom said.
The nurse called Dad to go through the procedures, and he left. Adrian and Mom stayed with me. After some time, Dad came back, and told me the surgery would be held at midnight. Dad told Mom and Adrian to head back home to take some rest, but they refused to leave. I closed my eyes to take some rest but drifted into sleep.
When I woke up, it was already time for the surgery. The nurses were taking me to the OT. My family told me that everything would be fine, but worry was written all over their faces. I told them I was not scared, but in reality, I was hella scared. It will be fine; everything will be fine. I entered the OT while chanting those in my mind.
.
.
.
.
.
"Help! Mommy, Daddy, Brother, please help me!"
"I'm scared. Please, get me out of here..."
Darkness, darkness was the only thing that I could see. No matter how much I screamed for help, no one heard, no one came. Instead, my screams echoed in the room. I banged on the door and tried to open it with all my strength, but how much strength a nine-year-old girl could have?
The darkness was swallowing me. I curled up in a corner of the room. My sobs were echoing in the room. I should have listened to Mommy. I shouldn't have walked home alone. No matter how close my house was, I should have waited. I should have; I could have.
The door opened, and someone entered the room. One step, two steps—the person was coming towards me. His body looms over my tiny frame. I didn't dare to look at him. He sat down and touched me. I tried to get away, but he held me tightly. I don't like it. A wicked laugh left his throat. It was disgusting.
"Don't touch me. Please, no, don't touch me."
Don'ttouchmedon'ttouchme. NO...
I jerked upright, breathing heavily, cold sweat trickling down my body, and my heart beating foremost. The room is filled with darkness. The only light coming is from the lamp at the bedside. Not enough. My skin crawls as the darkness are suffocating me.
I turned on all the lights and looked at the clock. The clock hands indicated it was four a.m. I feel like I lived in those memories again. Cold, dirty hands are touching me and digging nails into my skin. Something grabbed my ankle, trying to pull me. I shook my head aggressively.
"None of these are real. It's just a nightmare. I'm in my room, safe."
I took a deep breath and breathed out. Inhale Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
My breathing got normal, and my heart stopped pounding irregularly. If it was just some dream, then I would not have cared, but these are memories. And every night, I live in those memories.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep anymore. I'm drenched with sweat, and it's making me uncomfortable. I should take a shower and read some books. It will help me clear my mind. Yeah, it's the best idea.
I got down from my bed and went to my washroom. I strip down to nothing and glance at the mirror. I look like a truck has run over me. My gaze flicked down to my chest. A huge scar has made its home here. It's been five months since my surgery. I have almost recovered. But still, you can't be the same after heart surgery.
I traced the scar with my finger. It looks so ugly. I feel insecure, but I'm glad that I'm alive and breathing. I brushed my teeth and stepped into the shower. Warm water touched my skin, making me relax. It washed away all of my troubles.
After taking a good thirty minutes of the shower, I wrapped a towel around me and stepped out of it. I dried my hair and went to my walk-in wardrobe. I wore a pair of jeans and a black sweatshirt. I'm feeling refreshed, but there is still a chill around my neck.
I have a bookshelf in my room. I went to my bookshelf and grabbed a romance book. I sat beside my window and started reading the novel. I read novels whenever I feel happy, sad, stressed, have problems, or have nightmares. It helps me escape reality and takes me into another world.
I look outside the window; the blue colour is making its way into the sky, and the sweet sun's rays fall into the world, blessing everything with their presence. The morning came after a dark night.
Today Jenny is throwing a party in a bar. With some of our classmates. I won't say, friends, since they are not. The new semester is going to start soon, and before it, my best friend wants to have fun. I'm twenty years old, but I have never gone to a bar.
I always wanted to go, but my family never let me, saying it was not a good place and blah blah. But I'm going tonight without telling them. Sometimes it is good not to listen to your parents. Tonight, will be perfect.
That's what I thought, but I didn't know that this one decision of mine would turn my entire world upside down.