I wake up and Christian is naked, in the bed next to me. I look around the room. Articles of clothing are sprawled everywhere leading out the open door. I shift in the bed, and Christian groans. I try not to move, but he slowly awakens.
"Good morning." He says, groggily. "Sleep well?" He smirks.
"I slept alright. Then I woke up to a nightmare." He turns his whole body toward me to look at my face. "What are we doing?"
"Well, at the moment, we are laying in bed." I can't help but laugh. Then his face grows serious. He sits up on his forearm and traces my skin with the other hand. "I guess we're just... I don't know... getting to know each other."
"Yeah, I'm not sure I've ever known Amanda this well." He guffaws. "Christian, this isn't a good idea."
"Well, I happen to think it's a brilliant idea."
I get up from the bed and take a shower. A million thoughts and anxieties race through my mind. What will my mother say if she finds out? How will Rachel take the news? Hailey already suspected, and now she'll just say "I told you so." My thoughts get interrupted by a soft knock at the door.
"April, are you alright?" Christian cracks the door to ask his question.
"I wanna say yes, but-"
"Right. Well, you've kind of been in the shower for almost an hour, and I'm a bit worried about your water bill."
I just laughed at him and shut the water off. He closes the door and gives me privacy. I wrap my body in one towel and my hair in another. I walk out, and see Christian attempting to make breakfast. He looks over and gives me a small smile. It still reaches his beautiful, light brown eyes. I smile back and head into the bedroom. I change into some black leggings and a black bralette and take the towel out of my hair. I scrunch it a few times, then walk into the kitchen.
Christian is setting places on the table and serving burnt eggs and sausage on them. He gets toast out of the toaster and practically throws them on the plates. I laugh and sit down at the table. We eat in silence.
"Did you always want to be famous?" I ask between the last few bites of my toast.
"That wasn't really ever the plan, but it's where I am." He clears his throat. He stands up and takes our plates to the sink. He walks back over and sits down with a serious look on his face. "Honestly, I wish I could just go somewhere and enjoy a day where nobody recognized me, you know?" He sits his chin into the palm of his hand.
"Let's go." I stand and take his hand. He looks at me, puzzled. "Change into those khakis with that white button down shirt and brown loafers. I'll be right back."
I go into the bedroom and change out of what I'm wearing. I put on a long jean skirt, button down quarter sleeve white cotton shirt, and a sheer bandanna over my hair. I walk out and Christian gives me a weird look.
"Just... trust me, okay?" I smile and lead him out the door.
We get in the car and drive North. After about 45 minutes of the long car ride on back roads, Christian finally talks. "Where on earth are you taking me?" He's holding on to the handle for dear life. I just give him a smile and continue driving fast.
After 20 more minutes, we finally arrive at a gated community that is placed on the beach. We get out and are immediately greeted by other people dressed in a similar fashion. All of the women are in long skirts and shirts that cover themselves. Their hair is either pulled into a bun, or covered by some sort of head covering. The men are dressed in long pants and button down shirts with sandals or loafers. The children mimic the style. Christian looks around the community. I lead him around the community as people I recognize come over to us and introduce themselves to Christian. He warily shakes everyone's hands.
"Where are we?" He whispers to me.
"A place where no one will recognize you." He gives me a blank stare. "This community is shut off from the rest of the world. They don't believe in television or radios. They don't have cellphones. They just live at one with nature and it has to offer them. They source their own foods. They have a sustainable farm that houses all kinds of animals and plants. And they use solar and wind power for any electricity they need. Which they don't use a whole lot of."
"So, they're Amish?"
"No. And not Mennonite either. They just... don't believe in, or want to be a part of the harmful elements of our world today."
"Is it a cult?"
"NO! I came here the summer after graduation. I was starting to struggle with my sobriety again and I just needed to turn the world off for a while. That's when I stumbled upon this place. We actually passed the place I went to rehab on the way here. I met a lady here who went through a lot of the same things I did, and she really helped me. She kind of became like a godmother to me, you know? I lived here for about three weeks before I took the job at The Washington Post. I come back at least once a year and recharge. This kind of became like a retreat center to me."
"Sister, April! Is that you?" A woman yells from behind us. We turn and I see Janice, my God mother walking toward us. "Oh, how wonderful to see you again my dear!" She gives me a big hug. "And who might this be?" She asks turning to Christian.
"Christian Eastman, ma'am. It's an honor to be here." He smiles and shakes her hand.
"Come. We must catch up." She pulls my arm to follow her to her home. We walk into her little cottage on the bay. We sit out on the porch and drink tea while listening to the ocean. "So, Christian, how do you know April?" She asks.
"Oh, we met when we were in college. And now we've rekindled because her mum married my father." He looks at me and smiles. She just says a series of mhm's and nods her head repeatedly. "And now, we are just trying to get to know each other on better terms."
"I see. You want to know how you can really get to know someone?"
My eyes go wide, "Janice, no. He's not ready for that."
She gives us a wicked smile. Tells us to wait here, and runs into the house. She comes back out carrying a few large backpacks and an electric air compressor. "Christian... how do you like the water?" He looks at her and at me with a puzzled expression. She opens the backpacks to reveal two stand up paddle boards. "Have you ever been paddle boarding?" She asks with a goofy grin on her face.
"Paddle boarding? What's that?" He looks genuinely terrified.
We go to a store just outside the community and get ourselves swimsuits. Christians option were petal pink with palm trees and flamingos, American flag, and navy blue with anchors. He chose the anchors. My choices were a black one piece suit with no straps, a purple one piece suit with the belly cut out, and a two piece green tankini with palm trees. I took the palm trees one. We drive back to Janice's cottage and meet her by the bay. I try to teach Christian how to get on the paddle board, unsuccessfully.
He finally gets onto the board and stays on his knees. He watches me get on the board with ease and scoffs at me. He figures out how to paddle through the water and how to turn, stop, and go backwards. I stand up on the board and watch as Christian's eyes widen.
"I understand the stand up part now." He sounds like a scared little kid. "Alright... how do I do that?"
I go back down to my knees carefully. "Alright, so you need to get your feet where you want them on the board. The wider the better, because it will help with balance, and you want them on either side of that strap in the middle. Then you're going to tuck your toes and shift your weight back on your feet and slowly rise up." I do all of the movements to show it to him. I go back down on my knees. "You wanna give it a try?" I ask him."Oh wait, you're gonna want to adjust your paddle as well. So, you're how tall?"
"I'm six one, six two. Something like that." I tell him where to adjust his paddle to. "Okay, so tuck toes, shift wait back, and slowly- ah!" He falls into the water. I break out in laughter. He comes swimming up to the surface. "How do I get back on?" He holds onto the board. He isn't able to touch the bottom.
"Just hoist yourself up there!" I yell to him.
He tries over and over to hoist himself up on the board, but he can't seem to figure it out. He flips the board over a few times. Then he goes under the water and I can't find him. I start to panic then feel a thump under my board. He flips me off the board and into the water. I come up and splash him. He laughs harder than I have ever seen him laugh. It takes me off guard. I can't stop staring at his perfect teeth. His perfect smile. His perfect face. Even his hair soaking wet is perfect. He looks at me and we share a gaze that neither of us want to end.
"Dinner is almost ready!" Janice yells from the shore. We turn and look at her, breaking our connection.
I get him up on the board and then hoist myself up on mine. We race back to shore. I beat him back and he groans in defeat. We carry the paddle boards up to the porch and lay them in the sand. Janice comes out with a few towels. We dry ourselves off and head inside to shower and change. I walk outside and join Janice on the porch.
"So... he's your step-brother huh?" She asks in a scandalous tone. I just look over at her. "Boy, that's some complicated stuff you got going on there." She rocks back and forth and takes a long sip of her lemonade.
"What do you mean?" I ask her.
"Oh please honey. I wasn't born yesterday!" She chuckles. "You two are clearly screwed."
"You think so?"
"Oh I know so. You can't have those kinds of feelings for a sibling!" She turns her entire body toward me.
"It's not like we grew up together."
"Doesn't matter sweet heart. It's just not right."
I slump back in my chair. I know she's right, but I can't get this feeling out of me. The oven dings and Janice goes inside. She yells for Christian to hurry up, and he yells back he's almost ready. They both come out, carrying a dish of food. I recognize the recipes.
"Oh my gosh, are you serious?" Janice chuckles. "You made my favorite! Cheesy Chicken and Rice Casserole with Green bean casserole? Yes, Janice, yes!" I do a drum roll on the glass table.
We sit and eat and Christian talks to Janice about music. She tells him about her life before the community and how she got here. He tells her about wanting to get out of show business. I talk about my work for the president because I feel that it will be safe with Janice being that their community is basically anti-government. She just looks at me and calls me stupid for taking a job like that, but I stick up for it.
"It pays really well, and I actually feel like I have a real voice in foreign policy."
"I think you're making your bed with the devil, honey." She says.
After we eat, Christian and I pack up some food to take with us and we head to the car. Janice pulls me into a hug and tells me to come back soon. She shakes Christian's hand and blesses our drive back to Alexandria. We drive the majority of the way back in silence. I don't really know what to talk about, and it seems like he doesn't either. We get about 20 minutes from my apartment and Christian finally says something.
"Thank you for today. Well, the past month really." He runs his hand through his hair. "I wouldn't mind seeing you again. You know... in that way."
I sigh. I contemplate saying what's really on my mind, but instead what comes out is, "I'm not sure that's a good idea, Christian."
"Because we're step-siblings?" I nod my head. "It's like you said to Janice, it's not like we grew up together." I quickly glance over at him. "I overheard your entire conversation while I was in the shower. The window was cracked." I blow out a breath. "I think she's wrong by the way. I don't think this is a mistake. I just... I don't know, I feel something here and I know for a fact that you feel it too."
"But she IS right. I know I feel something for you. You know I do. But, how can we continue this? For one, you live in England. Two, your father is married to my mother. Three, how could I tell Rachel this?" I grip the steering wheel tight until my knuckles turn white.
"Why do you care what Rachel thinks?" He asks. He furrows his brows.
"She and Trevor might have been cousins, but they grew up together. They were only five months apart. Trevor's parents died when he was really young, and his Aunt May took him in. He and Rachel grew up like siblings. To tell her that I've moved on from him, with my step-brother, no less, is going to ruffle a lot of feathers!"
"So, you don't want to see me anymore, is that what you're saying?"
I don't say anything for a while. There's a huge part of me that wants to scream for him to stay with me. Don't go back to England. But then there's this practical part of me that is telling me to say no, I can't see you anymore. We pulled into the parking lot of my apartment building. I finally say exactly what is on my mind.
"I'm not saying that I don't want to see you anymore. I'm saying that we shouldn't."