(Camille's POV)
Death, a phenomenon we all humans know nothing about... And this mysteriousness makes it the scariest thing for all of us who fear it.
Everyone is informed that they will die at some point of time, so we make our everyday life so interesting and enjoyable that we can be distracted from our inevitable demise.
The children are almost never aware of this, such a thing is so distant from them that they will not even think of such an ominous thing. While people in their adulthood are too busy to give time to such an inevitable event.
So who thinks of death? The answer is someone whose life is stagnant.
Not moving or growing in a way just waiting for ceasing.
I never thought much of death either until my brother asked me this question one morning -
"What do you think about the afterlife?"
"Is there even an afterlife? I don't think anyone would know that."
He lightly laughed at my reply and said -
"But what if someone wants to experience it?" saying that he happily left, weirdo.
My brother, Chandler is a weird person, ever since I started to understand language, I learned that his words and thoughts were way too different.
He was like an alien questioning the system at only the age of 5.
As time progressed and I matured, I started understanding more and more of his way of thinking, he became an ideal for me and his past achievements became my path.
He was a monster of intellect since birth but something in my brother changed when he was 9, what? I don't know... I was too young to understand it.
And the brother I now knew started to exist.
Chandler Blakely, a kid who was good at everything ceased to exist and turned into a kid with a brain surpassing our World's biggest geniuses.
He was not just merely smart but he was near perfect at every field of intelligence. Though every time this topic was brought up in a conversation with him he would act humble and say there were a few people who were currently way beyond him and there were few who would be surpassing him in the near future.
He was best but not just in good qualities, his exceptional talent wasn't limited in mere intelligence but cunningness as well. Chandler Blakely, a man who was flawless in the face, was also manipulative from a young age and the person who had developed a Machiavellian mindset.
When I was 12 years old he introduced me to our neighbour Shade Lucifer, a kid who was the same age as me. In our first meeting he never left Chandler's side and didn't speak a word. He was a quiet kid who looked scared, which was pretty weird for someone of our age.
He didn't use social media or had any general interest in common hobbies of our age and had absolutely no social life.
But as he kept visiting regularly, I learned about his egoistic second personality and his obsession with success and planning.
I asked my brother a little about him, he then said that Shade was a chess prodigy and he was someone who far surpassed geniuses, even my brother in terms of intelligence.
I was extremely shocked by his words and did not believe it even a bit, so I started observing him closely since that day...
He was unbelievably interesting in his own way, each of his actions held a meaning and he didn't do things that he marked unnecessary. He was like a living robot in the world of humans.
Every time he had to talk or move he paused for a second, most wouldn't understand it or even notice but he thought of his actions and the effects it would bring in that mere second.
To outsiders, he was an arrogant kid who was slow in social situations but in truth he was just a kid scared of unwanted effects.
He had no place for feelings so I had to be a little pushy and force myself onto him to get closer to him.
Two of my friends also liked hanging out with my brother, Clay and Robin. Both of them were somewhat similar to each other and were heavily influenced by my brother.
Ever since I met those two I had made my own hierarchy of them, Clay was slightly better than Robin in everything and Shade outshined them both as he got completely flawless in everything he tried.
As the time went by we four became really close, but now it was not the case. In the year 2020, when we three turned 16, Shade and his family moved to the next town. I still regularly visited him and his family.
I may be a little late to say this but a few months ago I realised that I may be in love with Shade.
Clay, as a mutual friend, had always supported me from the shadows to get close to Shade so I was pretty motivated to confess to Shade.
This was when someone told me something cruel.
"Camille can you... not get too close to Shade? He has started to grow empathy for others and if you confess to him now he will surely accept it... I cannot say it in a roundabout way so let me say this now, you are not someone worthy of Shade."
These were the words no one would want to hear from anyone but surprisingly even after hearing these words from the person closest to me, my brother, I somehow understood that it was true.
Even if it's true, I broke down mentally after hearing that. I was not shaken enough to cry or throw a tantrum about it but it was enough to hide my feelings from now on.
But of course I won't just give up, I'll wait for now. I trust Shade because he seems like a guy who is never interested in another girl.
I'll wait until whatever he wants to achieve, and just stay here with my love for him so that when he wants someone to stand on his side and he looks back to find someone, I'll be there.
It was around March of 2021, when I realised that Chandler was acting weird, he was always weird but his behaviour had become more and more confusing without any reason or patterns.
He got out of home regularly and wouldn't return for a few days. I asked one of his friends about him and I learned the fact that he wasn't even attending his classes in his college for months now and whenever he left, he would just go missing for these few days with nobody knowing where he went.
I wanted to ask him... but he probably won't tell me anything. He always said life was pretty easy until one just sticks to the normal. So what he was doing was probably not something a normal person would do.
And finally the day of the catastrophe came... Chandler died in an accident. At first I couldn't believe it, it seemed like a complete lie.
I was overwhelmed by emotions, I didn't cry immediately but it hurt so much I couldn't just understand properly and tried to think, so much like a part of my soul was torn apart from me that day.
And finally what gave me a push to break down was the words of our parents...
"I see, it's a shame that he died."
"Camille, you shouldn't worry much about it."
It wasn't a facade they were putting on, they were really not bothered by Chandler's death, his talent and thinking surpassed our parents and when they couldn't play their ideal roles as supporters they distanced themselves from him, fearing to be looked down upon.
I couldn't stop crying, I felt like I wanted to scream and keep nothing inside me but I didn't want to tell anyone... anyone that Chandler... Chandler...
I could only cry.
Four days passed by with just me doing nothing and crying from time to time.
At that moment I found a few wrapped presents which Chandler got for Shade's birthday.
It must have something important otherwise he wouldn't have bought it before Shade's birthday and now I could only think about one person, Shade... but Shade isn't a person who would be bothered to come, he won't feel much and will think Chandler's funeral to be a burden.
I don't want to hear that, I don't want Shade to give the same emotionless reaction as my parents... Just not Shade...
I wrote a letter and delivered it, I couldn't dare to tell him directly or even just give him a phone call.
It would take only an hour to come to my house from Shade's so I waited, I waited at the front door for him. But he never came, deep down I knew he would just come a few days later or wouldn't at all but I felt like I should wait for him.
A day passed by just me barely holding back my tears in front of the doorstep, still waiting for a doorbell or a knock.
And finally someone knocked at the door. I ran towards the door like a lonely child would to welcome his parents. And I opened the door with a huge smile on my face but it didn't take long for it to disappear.
A person from the police department came to investigate something, I couldn't care less and I wasn't able to keep proper thoughts.
I didn't realise when but I broke down and started crying again while explaining the situation. I never cried much in recent years but for a few days I just couldn't control my tears.
It was embarrassing that I broke down in front of a complete stranger.
The person left as soon as he seemed to be in a hurry. But after 10 minutes another knock came.
Did he forget something in a hurry?
As I opened the door my chest felt tight as the person standing outside the door was Shade.
"Shade! You came!"
"Of course" He answered me with a gentle yet bitter smile filled with sympathy towards me.
I don't know what expression I was making when I asked that but I wasn't crying.
I told him about everything, and how I felt.
He sat down and calmly listened to me, he didn't express any irritation or annoyance and consoled me. I don't know why but I didn't cry, did I want him to show my better side? Or I just cried too much already?
I felt weird strength to move on from Chandler's shadow after talking to Shade.
I gave him the presents and smiled as he left.
I was alone and crying this whole time in this empty house but somehow after Shade left I truly felt lonely, Chandler is gone and I feel like Shade will never turn back and return from today onwards...
The one who connected us was Chandler. With him being gone the link was broken.
Shade wasn't interested in me to begin with, his kindness today was just a proof of him developing empathy for people as Chandler once said back then. But if that's true then as Chandler said, he would accept it if I proposed to him now.
I just wanted to stop Shade and make him return to me, even if I had to throw myself on him. I want to be selfish, after Chandler is gone, I at least want to keep Shade by my side and be happy but I don't want him to hate me on the inside, I don't want to burden or shackle him by my existence.
I had to make a decision but I wanted both, I felt greedy yet correct.
I couldn't think and felt like going into Chandler's room seeking an answer. It was a place he never allowed anyone other than that person to enter, not even his best friend Leon or his closest follower… Shade.
Even after living in the same house I had never entered his room for years, he had warned everyone to avoid it but I couldn't resist it now.
I went inside, the walls were filled with words and plans for the future, some motivational speeches and even some scribblings in different languages. A place only Chandler could live in, his room had his darkest shadow cast on it.
Lastly there was a sheet of paper stuck on the wall with something written on it.
[Camille, You are an Internode.]
What?
As I was reading what was written on the paper my phone suddenly rang.
["Hello, hello it's me Clay, please listen carefully to me... Chandler did not die!"]
My eyes widened as I heard his statement, it wasn't something he was making up but it seemed like a confident announcement.
And inside Chandler's room, I started my first steps outside of Chandler's shadow.