Natsu Dragneel wasn't going to let him get away.
"Stop! I won't let you leave until you answer me!" He exclaims to the white-haired boy in front of him. He quickly scrambles to his feet and gets ready to jump at any sign that the boy might try to escape again.
Now that nothing else is going on to distract him, he can tell. This boy is definitely related to Mira, Elfman, and her. There are a lot of other scents on him and he reeks of blood and death, but the main scent is undeniably similar to the Strauss family.
After he beat Cobra from the Oracion Seis, Natsu rushed to Erza's side, intent on protecting her from Jellal. Imagine his surprise when he saw them fighting together to defeat Midnight, just in time for Nirvana to self-destruct. Apparently, Jellal was back to being a good guy now, but that isn't what's important right now.
What's important is that after he was sure that Erza was safe, Natsu wanted to rush back to the oddly scented boy from before. He mentioned to Erza that there was a boy who smelled like Mira back in the forest and was about to sprint back in when she stopped him.
"Wait!" Erza had shouted and gripped his arm. "If what you say is true, then it's too dangerous for you to go back alone."
"Why?!" He had screamed and struggled. "He might know something about Lisanna! We never found her. What if she's not dead? Why else would he smell like them if he didn't know her?"
"Lisanna is gone, Natsu." Titania held him in place and looked into his eyes. "Mirajane and Elfman have a younger brother, that's probably who this is."
"If that's true, then why are you stopping me?" Natsu cried. "Wouldn't they be happy to see their family?" He burned up his wrist to make her let go and dashed into the forest with Happy.
"Natsu, wait!" Erza yelled at his back. "He's too dangerous! He isn't a good person!"
At that point, Happy was already in the air carrying Natsu at full speed towards the figure that just appeared.
And now, the young boy before him looked at the dragon slayer with a cold expression. The expression doesn't reach his eyes though, Natsu has seen madness and he can recognize it in those eyes.
"Natsu Dragneel, why have you followed me?" The boy's voice is cold, calculated, and guarded.
"What's your name?" Natsu asks, Happy is just watching on from the side.
"Does it matter?" He drawls.
"Yes." Natsu's tone is firm and leaves no room for contention.
"...I'm White."
Natsu doesn't look satisfied with that answer but continues anyway.
"Who are you to Mira and Elfman?" He demands. "I won't let you leave until you've answered me."
"You mean Mirajane and Elfman Strauss, the Take-Over mages of Fairy Tail?" The boy turns his head down for a moment before looking back up and answering. "Complete strangers, we have nothing to do with each other. If anything, we would be enemies. I am from a dark guild and they are from the light. That's all."
"Don't lie!" Natsu snaps. "My nose never leads me wrong, and you smell just like them! You're their little brother, right?"
The boy's eyes widen and a look of surprise overcomes his cold features. It was only for a brief moment, but he was shaken. It was like he didn't expect anyone to know about him.
"Well," White slowly starts to talk, as if he were carefully picking each word. "I wonder if that's still true? Regardless, that's not what you chased me down to say, is it? It seems to be a rather pointless thing to worry about at this point."
"Why aren't you with your family?" Natsu asks. "If you're this strong, there shouldn't be anything stopping you from coming to see them. Mira gets sad a lot, if you came back, she would be happy again."
White is silent. His face is even, but to Natsu, it looks like he's struggling to keep up an act. The kind-hearted dragon slayer can practically feel the guilt radiating from the young boy. After a very long silence, the boy speaks.
"Nobody would be happy to see me." His voice is quiet, but no longer robotic.
"Mira is your big sister, isn't she? There's no way she wouldn't be happy to see you again. And Elfman would definitely be excited about it." Natsu encourages. "Why don't you just try?"
The boy doesn't speak, instead, he reaches for his sword and Natsu can see the same purple light as before beginning to glow. He dives at White to prevent him from running away, but a sharp pain fills his chest.
"Natsu!" Happy cries out in concern.
Blood pours from a long diagonal cut from the bottom of his rib cage on his right side, all the way to his left shoulder. The boy looks shocked at what he did. When he saw the dragon slayer charging at him, his body reflexively countered. If the wound was any deeper, it could be fatal.
Even so, Natsu had stopped him from teleporting away and still stands before him. Even as pain causes tremors throughout his body, Natsu Dragneel stoically stares at the boy before him.
"Why did Erza say that you are a bad person?" He asks with his teeth gritted. "Is that why you're scared to come back with me?"
White still looks panicked, his robotic disposition from earlier nowhere to be found.
"I… I…" After failing to form his words, he looks up to the clouds and takes a deep breath. "I don't have the luxury of being the good guy. Not everyone can live a fairy tale life like you guys."
"Sure you can!" Natsu smiles. "You just have to want to change. As long as you want to be good, there's nothing that can stop you from it."
Before Natsu can get a reply or say anything else, the boy disappears in a blur and a heavy impact hits his neck. Then, everything goes black.
I rest my sword over my shoulder after knocking out Natsu and Happy with the dull edge.
What am I doing?
Why let a naive idiot like that get under your skin? You've already decided what you are going to do, haven't you? You know what you are, what you've become. There's no going back from that and you've made your peace with that a long time ago. What's the point in getting emotional about it now?
I crouch down and put my hand on Natsu's chest, watching as the flesh sews itself back together. I don't care enough to get rid of the scar afterward though, as long as he doesn't die, it's fine. I'll admit that I got a little nervous when I attacked Natsu. If he died, that would be really bad. I could kiss my future goodbye if that happened.
The purple, second eye on the blade opens up and I take one last look over at the unconscious protagonist of this world before disappearing into the sky and heading off in the direction of the airship. During my trip, I can't help but look down at the prisoners trapped in my sword and think about what they represent. What they say about me.
My mind is occupied with this thought until the base of Grimoire Heart, until my home, is in sight.
"Well," I mutter to myself. "No point in thinking about it now. What's done is done. Everything I've done has been to stay alive. This is no different. If I didn't do all this, I wouldn't even be here to think about this."
A voice in the back of my head curses me as a liar and a hypocrite, but that voice is ignored when I step through the doors of the airship. In its place, irritation fills my mind and my emotions become a mess. I can't stop thinking about what exactly went wrong with my life and wondering if it was somehow my fault. That nagging feeling won't leave me alone and prevents me from putting my usual mask of indifference back on.
When I march through the halls, the weak mob mages on the airship bow and stand aside as usual. The longer I walk the angrier I get. I keep thinking back on the guilt and regret that has filled me ever since my conversation with Natsu Dragneel, the poster boy for everything good and righteous.
What right does he have to make me feel this way? To act like he's better than me? What does he know about me? About what I've been through? He would never have survived the things that I survived! Even if he did, would he be able to keep going? Without grabbing every opportunity that came my way, without willingly throwing away my humanity, would I not be the same as all these pathetic grunts around me? Is that what he wants of me? There's no way this is my fault! It's this world's fault, I'm only doing what I must to adapt to this shitty world!
All of the weaklings shake in their boots and avert their eyes every time I'm nearby. They aren't willing to do whatever it takes to rise, and would rather entrust their survival to the whims of those stronger than them.
Without warning, I drew my blade and beheaded the nearest dark mage to me, a middle-aged man whose bow was just slightly less deep than those around him. The trembling of the others increases by multitudes and they drop to their knees, bowing until their heads touch the ground. Not one of them speaks out against my actions, however.
Even if I decide to kill them, for whatever reason, nobody will say a damn thing! Are you saying that I should have been okay with that?! With such a pitiful existence?
No, I don't regret a thing! I won't tolerate the idea of putting my life entirely in the hands of others. No matter what I have to do, no matter how depraved my actions must become, I will control my own fate. I refuse to be a weakling who can only beg for my life.
Nobody will hold that much power over me. Not Crowley. Not Brain. Not the council. Not Hades. Not Zeref. Not even Acnologia. I will stoop to whatever lows I need to if it means that I can ensure that nobody else gets to decide when I die.
What are you getting so worked up for? You have nothing to regret, you've already committed to this, haven't you? This is just how things are, so try to get some enjoyment out of it. That's what you decided a long time ago, isn't it?
I take several deep breaths in front of Hades' door to calm my temper before entering to give him my report. I haven't lost it like that in a long time. So close to my plan, it would be bad to lose my composure in front of Hades.
One more deep inhale and exhale later, and I walk through the door.
....
Meredy was concerned.
She had heard about White's mission to kill Brain and she was worried that her best friend might run into trouble. She knows that White is strong, but this mission would put him right in the middle of a guild war in which all the competitors are competent mages. Not only that, but she knows about Zero and how terrifying of an existence he is. She's worried that White might not be strong enough to handle him.
That is why she was waiting near the back entrance of Grimoire Heart's airship. White always uses the back entrance so he can take the long route to Master Hades' office before reporting. She had been there for hours, pacing back and forth. Even when Miss Ultear came to see her, she still opted to continue waiting.
When the door finally opened, she was filled with inexplicable joy and prepared to pounce. However, she stopped in her tracks when she saw the expression on her best friend's face.
It was an expression she had never seen on his face before. She had obviously seen his usual blank face, the one that he shows everyone, but she had only seen two others besides that (something that she prides herself on is being the only person to see him so expressive). She had seen restrained annoyance and, once in a blue moon, a faint but unmistakably fond smile.
That was why she was so rattled at the moment.
Right now, White's face was a complicated mess of emotion. His composure was nowhere to be found. Guilt, regret, sorrow, pain, doubt: a whole slew of emotions ran through his face, one by one. It was as if a dam had suddenly burst and everything that it was holding back flowed forth in one massive wave. His face finally settled at barely restrained anger as he walked down the hall, still lost in his own head.
What exactly happened on this mission? What could have shaken someone like him so badly? He's so lost that he hasn't even noticed that Meredy has been following him from behind ever since he returned.
She watches as his rage bubbles and grows during his walk, growing until his mask is once again gone and a deep scowl rests on his face. The low-rank grunts are usually afraid of him, but right now they're terrified, rushing to clear his path and bowing more deeply than ever. She watches as his scowl deepens and his brow furrows at the sight. He glares at them from the corner of his eyes and Meredy can practically feel the hatred and disgust rising within him.
It finally comes to a head when one of the grunts loses his own. She couldn't even follow his movements when White killed him. Draw. Strike. Sheathe. It was all done in one smooth motion, without even breaking his pace. She couldn't even tell why he did it or what made that man different from the rest. Quite frankly, her best friend was terrifying right now.
Meredy knows about how everyone thinks of White, of course. How could she not? They think he's a monster, a beast that Master Hades just barely manages to keep on a leash. They say that he's a complete psychopath, worse than even Zancrow. That looking at him wrong could get you and everyone with you killed.
They say this, but, before now, Meredy had never seen anything that supported it. The White that she has always known has been her only real friend in life. He will listen and make time for her whenever she wants to be selfish. He never rejects or pushes her away when Miss Ultear is gone and she's feeling lonely. To her, White is a kind and patient person who hides it behind a mask of apathy.
This isn't the White she knows.
This looks more like the White that Miss Ultear always warns her to stay away from. The White that everyone in the guild fears and avoids. The White who Miss Ultear described as a wild beast that tried to murder Zancrow in a spar. Meredy hadn't seen the spar, and she had always believed that it was probably Zancrow's fault, but now she isn't sure.
The look on the face of the boy who was her best friend is one of pure hatred. Hatred at the people around him. Hatred at the world. Hatred at his life. Most of all, hatred at himself.
The boy walking away from her looks completely unfamiliar right now.
Still, she hastily follows after him, stepping around the pools of blood on the floor. Before she rounds the corner, she takes one last look behind her. Some of the grunts are cleaning up the body and blood, but most are still frozen in place. All of them are either panting heavily or crying with stifled voices. They all know that it could have just as easily been them on the ground.
As they grow nearer to Master Hades' office, White slowly begins to cool down. His breathing becomes less rigid and the tension in his face starts to loosen. Meredy desperately wishes to know what is going through his head right now, but he gives away nothing. When he arrives in front of his destination, he takes one final deep breath and his mask is back on.
Nothing in his demeanor, nor his expression, gives away the intense outburst of emotion he just went through. To be honest, it's a little bit scary. Meredy can't help but wonder how much he has been hiding beneath that mask. Just how many times did he have to put up that facade outside of her own door? Were the glimpses of emotion she had seen from him in the past even real? Or were they just different masks?
She sunk against the wall and sat on the floor after he closed the door behind him. She didn't know if she should laugh at herself for rejecting what everyone said about him or cry because it was true. This is a dark guild, it shouldn't be a surprise that he is like that. It should be obvious that someone whose job is to kill people isn't a good person. It should be obvious, so why does she feel like this?
Her knees tuck into her chest and her head falls on her arms. Why did it hurt so much to see him like that? Was it because it made their time together feel like a lie? Or was it something else?
"Meredy."
Meredy was lost in her head and didn't even notice when a faint voice called out to her.
"Meredy." This time the voice was a bit louder, but there was still no weight behind it.
Still, this time it was enough to pull her back to reality and she pulled her head up to look at its source. White was standing in front of her, looking down at her with his token blank expression, but not meeting her eyes.
"Oh!" Meredy flinched when she saw him. "White… What's up?" She was too distraught at the time, but later she would reflect on how odd it was for him to be the one to initiate a conversation with her.
"Did you see…" He starts, but trails off and changes his question. "Meredy, you know what people say about me. What do you think of me?"
"...Huh?..." The question was so unexpected that she couldn't even process it. Her mind just blanked out.
"... Sorry," White apologizes, still unable to look her in the eyes. "That was a pointless question. You appear to be waiting to see Master Hades, so I won't keep you any longer."
Meredy is still frozen by the bizarreness of the situation. Unable to form a sentence until White has long since rounded the corner and left her alone.
"What was that?" She exclaims out loud when her voice finally does return.
When Meredy returns to her room that night, it is with a mind weighed down by questions. Foremost among them is this:
Who exactly is White?
WRITTEN BY UPPER MOON'S EYE