The first thing that was heard after the Troll's death was nothing.
It was a type of silence that was different from any other. It was a screaming silence filled with a mad static.
"W-w-w-w What?" Asked Rob
THUMP!
Moments after he said that, John fell to the ground. Half his forehead was impressed in an inch, and his eyes were glassy and senseless.
According to all logic, he was dead.
The screaming silence shifted to just plain old screaming.
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
The trolls darted to and fro. They ran in any direction that wasn't John. They had looks of pale terror on their face and eyes bulging with adrenaline.
I don't want to die.
That was the song their screams sang—the rhythm built by their steps.
"Is….. Is he dead?" Asked Charles
Cassandra looked at the body with a stoic gaze.
"It sure looks like it." She said
"YIP!"
John had left his dragons behind when he took his break from walking. He said it was because he didn't want his babies hurt.
But somehow. Band-Aid found John. Some prenuptial sense guided it to him. It just couldn't let John die.
...….
John sat upon a plush oak chair sized for his corpulent form. In his hands was a book with the word Glutton written on the cover. He stood in a room with plush blue carpets and empty shelves that should have been filled with books.
In front of John was a laminated oak table with nothing on top of it.
And standing on the other side of that table was a skeleton.
"This is the second time I've seen you. Do you have horrible luck or something?" Asked the Skeleton
John shrugged.
"I guess I kinda do." Said John
"To meet me twice, you would have to. Or…."
The skeleton glanced at John's fat-built form.
"Are you really unhealthy?" Asked the skeleton
John scowled.
"My doctor told me that. But to my knowledge, I outlived the bitch."
Sure, it was a bombing John survived. Not old age. But those two things are basically the same. Aren't they?
A green light whispered its way into the room.
John grinned.
"Well. That looks like my cue."
He sent the skeleton a mock salute.
"I hope I never meet you again." Said John
The skeleton saluted back.
"I hope the next time I see you, you'll rest in the net of death instead of walking upon the stupid topsy-turvy tightrope." Said the skeleton
John looked at the skeleton with a small bit of confusion.
And then he was gone.
....
Alive. I breath. I'm alive. I think. I live. For living is loving, and I love to live just as I love to love.
Isn't that lovely?
John opened his eyes to the sound of tears.
"I-I-I-I-I-I-I I was so mean to him before he died. I'M SORRY JOHN! I'M SORRY!"
"YIP!"
John stood up with a grin on his face.
"You should be, you fatphobic fatass!" Yelled John
The disembodied voice paused.
"What?" Asked Rob
"I said FUCK YOU!" Screamed John
There was no point in caring. We're all just dust with feelings anyway!
"John. I know you just had a near-death experience. But that's not an excuse to disrespect a team member." Said Cassandra.
"But not liking them because their fat is?" Asked John
Cassandra committed the action of shut. She did the shutting.
Charles was occupied staring at John like he was some profane mix between a model and a car crash throughout all of this.
"Sorry. Sorry! I'll never call you fat again! It's true. I'm six-two! And I still have two pounds of fat on my body! I am fat! I need to die!" Screamed Rob hysterically.
He's six-two. Ha! Like anyone would trust the invisible man when they talked about their height.
"Well. Now that you're alive again, John. We should probably get going. I don't want to be late and annoy Jean." Said Cassandra
John looked at her with the most intense hatred he could muster.
Death might be preferable to walking for an hour. John thought to himself.
....
It was true. It was preferable.
John was covered in a sheen of sweat thicker than Kim Kardashian's plastic ass as he hobbled through the street.
But. He must have been feeling better or something the second time around because he made it the full five kilometers.
In fact. John even got a little consolation prize for his suffering.
{+1 cardio vascular}
Finally, after all the struggle, they made it to the mansion.
John laid himself on the grass wheezing while Cassandra knocked on the door.
"Yes."
A maid with bright pink hair and a large nose ring opened the door.
A second after seeing Cassandra, the maid's head snapped around.
"JEEEEEEEEAN! The warriors you hired are here!"
She stood awkwardly for two minutes until Jean arrived at the door.
Jean simply looked at them for a few seconds with a wrinkled nose and pursed lips.
"You guys smell like death. Go take showers."
The group nodded and went to move through the doors and into the shower.
"Also. Dinner will be served after you finish showering."
John licked his lips.
Mhhh. I wonder what we'll have for dinner.