"Hey, have you heard about a first-year who became the toughest junior in this school recently?"
My friend, Kentarou Matsubara, engaged me in a conversation while I was gazing out the window, staring emptily at space. I immediately got interested in his topic, and shifted my gaze towards him.
"Oh, yeah? What's so interesting about this first-year?"
I spoke like that, but I was a first-year myself.
"You know about the Three Deadly Beauties on this school, right?"
I tried searching my mind, and then found the answers I was looking for.
The Three Deadly Beauties.
Noa Aoyama, who was the ace of the volleyball club and tended to have a short temper. She could also be considered as the beast of that club, as her team won every single match they've ever entered. She's a second-year.
Ayane Matsumoto, the club president of the acting club. She also tended to have a short temper, and whenever there were acting going on and she was the director, it would go down to smithereens if they made even the slightest mistake. She was also a famous writer, hence why she became the president. She made her debut as a novelist when she was in her second-year of junior high. She's a third-year.
And lastly, Youko Yamashita. She was the ace of the swimming club, swimming faster than any of the members there. Heck, she was faster than any of the teachers and the entire school. Even the P.E. teacher, which was a male, wouldn't be able to beat her. She's also second-year.
They all shared one thing in common; they were all females.
A month prior to being admitted in this high school, those words spread through the first-year like wildfire. There was no one in this school that could probably rival those Three Deadly Beauties. There wasn't a single student who hasn't heard of them, as well.
"Uh-huh. What about them?" I asked Kentarou, who was munching on the homemade lunch her mother gave him. It just consisted of rice balls, Kentarou's favorite. I myself was also eating lunch, which was a omelette rice with the word LOVE written on top with hearts all over it. It was made by my dear lovely little sister.
"Well, I heard that one these Three Deadly Beauties were beaten by this first-year! Can you believe it?"
"Whoa, seriously?"
Kentarou nodded his head continuously.
I was just as shocked as Kentarou. After all, it had just been a month, and already a junior was rushing to beat the Three Deadly Beauties. I've already seen all three of them in action when the word spread about them, and I could tell that I didn't have any chance to get close to even a single one of them. Not like I needed to get close to them in the first place.
Hearing that there was a student, let alone a first-year, who suddenly became the toughest bully in this school definitely got my interest get the better of me.
While listening to Kentarou, I immediately spreaded out the ketchup that was written on top of my omelette rice with my spoon, and took a spoonful of it and ate it.
"Huh. So what's the name of this mysterious first-year?"
"Her name is Ayase Shimamura."
"... Seriously? Another girl?"
Kentarou ignored his comment and went on with his story. "The one that was beaten was the ace of the volleyball club. Shimamura kept hitting spike after spike, and their defenses couldn't even rival with her. Even Aoyama couldn't beat her!"
He kept rattling more and more. But the topic was so interesting, I didn't even mind it.
"I never thought a day would even come when they're beaten...," said Kentarou impressively.
"Hey, I mean, it was going to happen eventually," I said. "We've only been in this school for a month, and there's still two and a year for those Three Deadly Beauties. Someone was bound to beat at least one of them eventually."
"Yeah, but this early? I can all but interpret that as a miracle."
"A miracle, huh?"
As I was munching on my lunch, a small shadow approached Kentarou and I. However, because it was small, we didn't see it immediately until the hands of the owner of the shadow suddenly slammed our desks, making both of us jump.
When both of us turned out head to look at the person, a small figure that could be mistaken as a junior high school student appeared in our vision.
And in that point, my rested instincts started screaming. The girl in front of us...
...Looked absolutely adorable! But—
"Hey dweeb," she started. "Give me your lunch."
—Her tone was rather... questionable.
Her short figure and petite body gave off a sense that she was just a child, and her hair was even cut to be a short bob. Even her face resembled that of a child. Actually, now that I think about it, she might be more cuter than my sister... No! Don't let those thoughts overcome you!
But anyway, what did she say? She wanted my lunch? There were two people in my desk, one of which was my friend Kentarou, and obviously me. However, she was just staring at me, sometimes occasionally glancing at my lunch.
"Uh, me?" I asked.
"Yes, you," she pointed her finger at me. "Are there any other person in this desk that I'm currently speaking to?"
When I shifted my gaze to see the other side of my desk, there was no one around. It seemed that Kentarou left me here and retreated. I'll get my revenge on you, just you wait!
She wanted my lunch. The lunch my lovely sister made for me. Not only that, it was already half-eaten. Well, girls do love omelette rice, but do they love it that much that they'd ask to have some from strangers?
Wait, what is her name, anyway?
"Uh, sure? I'm pretty full now, anyway."
As I started to hand my food to the girl, the image of my little sister appeared in my mind. Her body dropped to the ground, tears and snots dropping from her face, while she says "Why didn't you eat my lunch, Onii-chan?"
And with that, I pulled my hand when she was just about to reach it. I almost made the gravest mistake that I could've ever made. The guilt would probably kill me if I saw her like that.
"... I'm sorry," I said to her as my face was cast downward. "I can't give you this."
In response to that, she clicked her tongue.
"Haah? What're you talking about? It's just simple: give me your lunch, and all is good. Or do you want to face some trouble?"
Now I sensed a deja vu. Not because I've experienced this situation before, but because I've been to similar situations like this. She seemed like the ones that I've been comforting.
Once I reached to that conclusion, I could only do something else.
"Well, I can't give you my lunch, but I can give you something else."
Her eyes twitch in surprise to my proposal. It's just been a month, but I didn't think that I'll be doing this again already. I wished that she wasn't as tough as the ones I've already faced.
"What can you offer me aside from your lunch?"
"...Well..."
I'm not sure if I'm going to regret this later, but I'm prepared. I'll be giving out the thing that I've always cherished, so I will try to not regret it later!
I let out a gentle and comforting smile towards the girl, and then said:
"I can give you hugs and headpats."
***
This happened when I was in preschool, five years ago. Or rather, this stopped when I was in preschool, five years ago.
When I was a kid, I sometimes woke up in park benches or at the bottom of some jungle gyms. There can be some circumstances when I'm hurt and sometimes not.
Not only that, I always had some kind of gap in my memory that I couldn't describe. It felt like when I woke up, I just skipped a school day. Heck, I felt like I skipped an entire day.
That's when I was suddenly taken to something called a psychiatrist or a psychologist, and then found out that I had a mental health disorder called dissociative identity disorder. That meant that I could "switch" with my other personalities—alters. In other words, it feels like I'm switching with different people.
But using the word "switch" didn't seem right. I said switching, but it just felt like I'm sleeping. I was "switching" with a person that's asleep.
This happened often when I was a child, and to be honest, I didn't really mind it. I didn't have any problems with my life. But that was the problem.
I was the only one who didn't have any problems.
While I was switched with my alter, he did some pretty bad things. I nicknamed him "Ryuuji" as his actions when I was switched back were rather horrendous.
When I'm at school, some of the school's supplies were scattered about everywhere, and some of the furniture were wrecked. There were even some students than was taken to the hospital due to Ryuuji's actions. Sometimes when I'm in parks, there were kids and parents looking terrified of me, while some kids looked beaten up.
One day, in a weekend, I went to Mom and then cried to her, saying "I don't want to switch with Ryuuji ever again!"
And that was the time where my misery ended.
After my mom's advice, Ryuuji never switched with me again. When I became a junior high school student, I helped a lot of people thanks to Mom's advice. There was only one problem, though. It doesn't work that well.
And all that I'm hoping is that it still works this time.
"That's the most stupidest thing I have ever heard."
My face that I always used to other people to cheer them up became a little wrinkled. However, it quickly regained its curves and then continued to speak.
"There's a certain reason why I can't give you this lunch. And there's also a certain reason why I can only give you hugs and headpats."
The reason I couldn't bring myself to give her my lunch was because the guilt that would struck me afterwards would be far too great. The other reason why I can only give her hugs and headpats was... a little complicated.
Her figure, her face, her tone, they all screamed dangerous. Just touch her for one bit, and you will be dead on the spot. But in all those, one was different.
Hey eyes.
They seemed to tell something... Like a past. Just from her eyes alone, I could tell that she went through a lot of suffering.
That's why I put on a suggestion. Which would probably get rejected.
But then again, I've helped so many people with similar problems, so whenever I see these kinds of people, I just blurt out my intentions by accident.
"Huh. Well, I don't care whatever your reasons are. I just want your lunch."
Damn it, this girl ain't going to give up! I need to somehow find a way to actually give her hugs and headpats...
But it's not like I can just talk her out of it...right?
"...How about we make a deal?" I asked.
"Huh?"
Okay, so I'm going to sound rather reasonable or just absolute garbage. Whichever it is, I just hope that it does work.
The girl started to contemplate my statement, and then eventually started to get eat out by her curiosity.
"Okay. Let's hear it."
I really hope I don't get punched later.
***
After my mom's advice, my life improved drastically. When I got out of preschool, I immediately became friends with some of the people in my junior high. That wasn't much to brag about, but to a previous loner like me, that would've been perfectly normal.
There was one time when I saw one of my female classmates that I've gotten close with act kind of unusual. It was still back in junior high, when I was in second-year. Her name was Yuuna Akabane.
She was just your typical everyday high school girl. Her hair was tied up to a ponytail, and she liked reading books. She wore glasses befitting her image that even I though it was cute, and she's very smart.
We met each other when I was just searching for novels since I just felt like it in the school library. To be honest, it just popped in my head that I wanted to read something that was not a textbook.
And what a coincidence, that's where we both met. It went as following;
We bumped into each other, she dropped her things, I helped her pick it up, I noticed a light novel that I liked reading in one of her belongings, and the topic came rising from there. We met at the library quite frequently, and I got to learn more about her. She even helped me study sometimes.
One time, when we were discussing that one light novel written by Miaki Sugaru, "Three Days of Happiness," I realized that her usual enthusiasm didn't seem to appear in her tone.
Her face seemed to just stare at space, and she sometimes gave me dead responses whenever I told her my impression on the novel. It looked like she was sad, not an usual occurrence for her.
"Hey, Akabane-san," I started. "Is there anything bothering you?"
When I asked that question, she casted her face downwards. Then, before I could continue with me question, tears started to rush out of her eyes, and sobs started started to come out of her mouth.
"Whoa, Akabane-san?" I asked, going to her side of the table. "Why are you crying?"
She seemed hesitant to answer my question. So, I proposed something to her.
"There's no need to worry. I don't know what's making you sad, and I'm sure I shouldn't just invade your privacy, but I want to help you. If there's anything troubling you, I can listen to your worries, and you can vent your problems to me."
Hearing those words of comfort, she started wiping her eyes with her sleeves, and although she still seemed hesitant, she managed to squeeze out her feelings. There were sobs involved, though, but that's out of the question.
"The guy that I like..."
Oh, seems like I'm going to listen to her problems regarding romance. I could do that.
"I found out that he has a girlfriend..."
"...Wow, that's rough."
I wasn't really that educated when it came to love. I had my sister, but I couldn't really squeeze out genuine love for her. Even if I could give advice to Akabane-san, I'm so inexperienced that I'm not even sure if they would be effective.
My mind started to search for things that I could do to help Akabane-san, and then remembered something. My mom's words.
"Whenever you feel like someone is feeling troubled, say this to them. 'I can give you hugs and headpats.'"
At first, I didn't know what those words meant. I was just ten at the time, so my grasp on society was still rather small. But when I started doing that, I knew what her words meant. I needed to comfort anyone that was troubled by their problems, sharing their burdens with me.
And so, I proposed:
"...How about some hugs and headpats?"
"...Huh?" She looked up at me with teary and confused eyes.
I already knew that she would somehow get an impression that I would be taking advantage of her sadness in order to get my way with her. But deep down, I wanted to help her, as a friend.
"I'm not really good at comforting other people, so this is all that I can offer. I know I may sound weird right now, and even creepy, but I genuinely want to help you. It may have just been a short while, but I already consider you as a friend, Akabane-san. But if you don't want to, I'm fine with whatever you choose."
There was a silence that then enveloped us. She still didn't respond, and now I was feeling more and more anxious by the second. Please hurry up, Akabane-san.
After a while, she let out a chuckle, and then laughed quietly, as we were in library. She didn't have to hold back her laughter though, since it's already the afternoon and no one was around. Now I felt embarrassed by myself, before she started to stop laughing and then catching her breath.
"Wow, you really don't know how to comfort other people, huh?"
Don't give me that! I summoned my courage just to say those, you know! ...Not like I could say that out loud.
She stammered, smiled, and then continued.
"...Well, why not?"
"Huh?"
I was surprised. She actually said she wanted some hugs and headpats. Of course, it still took me some time to process it, but she actually accepted.
"...Well? When are you starting, Akamatsu-kun?"
I was taken aback by her words, and they snapped me out of my thinking process. All I could do now was just listen to her.
"Well, for starters, we should stand up."
Reluctantly, I started getting up. Of course, she did so reluctantly as well.
Now, I just needed to rebuild my courage once again. I started to take breaths in my mind. Haa, hoo, haa, hoo. I opened my eyes, and saw that Akabane-san's face was rather flushed.
There was no time to feel like her, though!
I closed out distance between us, which was already super duper close, and then started to wrap my arms around her body. I was taller than her, so her face was buried in my chest.
After that, words just suddenly came blurting out in my mouth.
"It must've been tough, huh?"
When I said that, her shoulders seemed to jump. But I didn't stop there.
"Keeping your feelings for the guy that you liked, then suddenly finding out that he had a lover... I can't imagine the pain you must be going through right now."
"...Mm...," she nodded, almost suppressing her tears. But despite that, I continued, and mixed in some gentle strokes in the back of her head.
"You must've loved him for a very long time, don't you? With all of your heart, you've just been bottling up your feeling because you didn't have enough courage to say it. Now you're hurt because of him."
"...Mm..."
"You can cry your heart out in front of me, Akabane-san. I'm here in your worst times of need, and I'll always be here to try to comfort you."
Those words must've hit the nail, because she suddenly wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest more.
"...Yeah...! I've liked him for a very long time, but he didn't even see my feelings...!"
Her words were now getting mixed in with sobs.
"I've been watching him for a distance, carefully observing him, but then I found out that he has a girlfriend now?" She sobbed. "...That's just cruel..."
"Yeah, that's right."
I kept my hug firm and just gently stroked her head. I was being as comfortable as I can.
"...That's unfair...! He's unfair...! I hate him...! He never considered my feelings...!"
"Just keep shouting your problems. I'm here to listen to it all."
In the whole afternoon, she kept saying her complaints. She kept shouting and blaming the love of her life, and I just gave her the comfort that I could give, and the company that she needed. I couldn't even tell how many minutes passed that time.
But her sobs eventually weakened out, and her grip in my body became more and more weakened. Before she could fall to the ground, I catched her body. It seems like she fell asleep.
That was me comforting my friend in junior high. It's been a while now, too. Two years, actually, since that happened. After we both graduated junior high, I haven't heard from Yuuna Akabane. We admitted to different schools, and I didn't even have a chance to change contact information with her, so I have no idea what she was up to. Barely any of my classmates even admitted to this school as well.
But back to the present, I was now going to propose something rather stupid to this girl whom I've never met before.
"Well," I started. "if you want this lunch, then it's one headpat."
"...You're kidding me, right?"
"Nope, absolutely serious."
Sometimes, sacrifices are needed to be made—she's looking at me with pure disgust, feels like I want to die now. Wait, why is she blushing as well? Her mouth is also pouted.
Before I knew it, she was slowly reaching to my hand, which was placed in the desk. Uhh, why is she going for my hand? Oh, she grabbed it now, hovering it above her head.
It only took a while, but my hand was now on top of her head, and because of her short figure, she looked absolutely adorable while blushing. Now I want to hold her—Idiot! You have a sister!
"T-This is fine now, right?" she asked as she was holding my hand on top of her head. "Give me your lunch now."
I did not expect that, but that was actually easy. I may not know who this girl is, but it really seems like she wants my omelette rice. Of course, I'm a man of my word, so I pulled my hand out of her head and gave her my lunch. I'm sorry, dear sister. You shall punish me for my sins, later.
"I-I'll be coming here again if you have any more."
...Wait.
This isn't over?