Chapter 90 - For Rain

She's really gone…

"It was the will of the world." The spirit tries to give Oka just the smallest bit of comfort. The fresh nighttime air fills his lungs as he sits cross-legged on the dojo's landing.

So many things we never got to do.

The spirit takes a sip from a cup of tea. He lets the warmth soothe the pangs of grief in his chest.

This pain. Endless and cruel. Is this what it feels like to have the person you love most in the world taken away from you? On that fateful day, is this what Shosuko felt? When she took away the lives of sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, is this what their loved ones felt? It hurts. It hurts so much.

Is this retribution for her sins? No, not even close. Her sins are a thousand times more grievous. She's finally realized. It's her fault. It's all her fault. No more running. No more hiding. It's time for her to face the consequences of her actions. First to leave was Shosuko and next Daisuko was taken away. A thousand more punishments await her. A thousand justices served for the thousand injustices she's wrought. This is what true pain is like. The kind you can't protest against because it's 'fair.' Nothing has been taken from her that she hasn't taken from someone else ten times over. She's finally realized, the gravity of her sins she tried so hard to shrug off. They feel like feathers compared to the weight of her grief.

Hey. You there? Oka addresses the spirit.

"Yes?"

Please give me my body back. I would like to cry.

Seamlessly, the two swap places. Almost immediately, Oka's eyes turn glassy, and a piercing wail erupts from the deepest recesses of her heart. As though if she yells loud enough, her grief might be taken away from her. But it isn't.

Iko and Klara close their eyes as they hear Oka's wail. They offer a silent prayer for Daisuko to be led safely to the afterlife and for Oka's heart to be healed. Valeriya doesn't believe in God or an afterlife but she still gives Daisuko a moment of silence out of respect. Then the moment passes and it's back to business. The three girls sit around the table, food in front of them. Only Daisuko knew how to work the microwave so it's cold convenience store meals for dinner.

"We'll have to fend off Kirika and the others by ourselves. I don't think we can count on Oka to be functional right now." Klara starts picking at her chicken and rice meal despite not having an appetite. "If anyone has any info on the enemy, bring it to the table."

"I don't know much else about her, but I know that the one with red hair uses Iaijutsu techniques. Kasai, I think her name was." Jet avoids looking into their gazes and stares at the food in front of her. "I don't know what the Lady of Whatever did to her, but if her skills stay the same, I should be able to take her head-on."

"And if that fails?" Klara doesn't seem doubtful, just worried.

"I rely on the spirit. I'd like to claim Kasai's head for myself but you gotta do what you gotta do." What an ego she must have to not have the spirit as her immediate line of defense. Regardless, the others keep their thoughts to themselves. If nothing else, they have a mustard seed's worth of faith in Jet's skills.

"So that's how we're going to deal with Kasai." Klara raps her fingernails on the table. "I'll take on Kirika."

"Your win today wasn't just a fluke, was it?" Jet raises a doubtful eyebrow.

"She may have talent but I assure you, I have a little over thirty years' worth of experience. I should at least be able to match her in combat. Worse comes to worst, I'll hold her off until one of you comes to help me."

Jet nods. "I trust you."

"Thank you, Jet." Klara does some quick math. "We're still left with two people to deal with. The one with blue-hair and the… chainsaw girl."

"Leave it to me." Iko places her chopsticks on the empty plastic box. "I'll take them both on."

"Can you really handle both?

"I have no choice but to have faith." Iko taps her head for emphasis. "Besides–"

"Leave Oe–… Leave the chainsaw girl to me." Oka stands in the doorway, eyes bloodshot from crying. She wipes her face on her sleeve. "I want to talk to her."

"The math works out." Jet closes her eyes and nods.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Iko looks her in the eye. "If you go out there unprepared, you'll just end up dragging us down."

"Iko…" Klara tries to rein her back in but deep down, she knows that she's right.

"I have to know." Oka stares back with a gaze that can only be described as grim resolve. Strangely, she doesn't sense any hatred. "I have to know what her face looks like."

"I see…" Iko nods. "In that case, I'll fight the one with blue hair and you can deal with the chainsaw girl instead."

"Thank you…" Oka places her hand on her forearm. "May I join you all for dinner?"

"You didn't have to ask." Klara smiles gently and gestures to an open seat. There's a spare rice meal on the table. Oka tries to force a smile but it doesn't come out so she just sits down and starts eating. Chicken teriyaki with rice. This was Daisuko's favorite convenience store meal. She always sneered at cheap food, even as a child, but it ended up growing on her. Oka feels like crying but her tear ducts have completely dried up so she has to settle for sniveling. Iko passes her a box of tissues.

Oka takes one and blows into it. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Iko avoids Oka's gaze and continues eating.

"Would…" Oka's voice falters but she quickly finds her strength. "Would you all mind if I made a selfish request?"

"You can have seconds if you want." Klara is about to stand up and walk over to the fridge but Oka stops her.

"N-no, that's not it. I… I just… Can we talk to them? The enemy, I mean" Oka can't look them in the eye. "I just don't want anyone else to die anymore."

"..." The three sisters look at each other.

"No promises." Valeriya shrugs. "This is war. People die in war. I'll try but if it comes down to it, I will kill to win."

"I'm going to see my parents again. Even if they're only imitations, I'll shoulder any sin to get my family back." Iko clenches her fist. "Sorry…"

"I'll try. But in general, I don't discriminate between kills. I don't care if they're a man, woman or child. If they're in my way, I'll claim their lives all the same," Klara says bluntly. "Especially if we're dealing with someone as ruthless as Kirika."

"I see… I can't control what you all do." Oka nods to herself. So that's the kind of company she finds herself with. It's like she's staring into three mirrors at once. They gaze at her with prying eyes, trying to gauge what she's going to do but all they find is resolve. "But I will do my best to strive for a resolution without anyone's death."

"Don't be so naive." Valeriya's tone is distant– cruel. "Assuming such a resolution even exists is nothing more than foolishness."

"You're just going to get yourself killed." Klara is the next to speak. Her words are cruel but her tone is regretful. "I hate to say it but we're fighting against an enemy that can't be reasoned with."

"Still, I have to try." Oka's resolve shines brighter than it ever has before in her life.

Attagirl. the spirit's words affirm her already steadfast belief in herself.

"I think you should do what you believe is right." Iko seems relaxed, lukewarm to everything going on around her. "It's much better to die standing than live kneeling."

"Iko…"

"I still disagree… but we'll pray for your success." Klara lifts up a pair of chopsticks and points at Oka.

"They will pray for your success. I will have to settle for believing in you." Valeriya finishes her meal, stands up from the table and leaves the room.