"ORA!" Shosuko punches one of the Umi Alliance gangsters so hard she goes flying straight through the door leading to the parking lot. All at once, the Umi Alliance gangsters turn around and train their guns at the now open door.
"Lieutenant Ryusei!" One of the gangsters shouts. "Get back! We have an intruder!"
"Hey now, let's play nice." Shosuko puts on the best smile she can muster as she walks out of the door. Which isn't particularly good because she does it so rarely. "I just want to talk to Lieutenant Ryusei."
"That'll be me." Yuki walks to the front of the crowd. She's a lot paler than Shosuko remembers. "Put your guns down, girls. There's no need for that anymore."
They hesitate for a moment before complying.
"There's no need to explain, Shosuko. I know what you're about to propose, and I agree."
"Huh? Really? Just like that?"
"Just like that. The Umi Alliance acknowledges that it's either extinction or siding with the Kuze Clan. I want to avoid any unnecessary carnage."
"I see." Shosuko bows to Yuki. "Thank you for being reasonable."
"Lieutenant Ryusei!" One of the Umi Alliance girls steps forwards. "Are we really going to be surrendering to the enemy?!"
"Yes, really. But I have one condition."
Shosuko leans against the railing. "And what would that be?"
"The Umi Alliance takes orders from you and you alone."
"Me?" Shosuko squints slightly. "But why?"
"I place my faith in you. You're… not like other yakuza. You have principles you would die for. And I respect that. From here on out, the Umi Alliance is a subsidiary of the Kuze Clan." Yuki prostrates herself before Shosuko, her head at her feet.
"You honor me, Ryusei." Shosuko takes a slight bow. She didn't think she'd get this far.
"Then let us make peace. You've lost good women, we've lost good women too. I believe that this peace is what they would have wanted." Yuki turns to her subordinates. "The war between the Kuze Clan and the Umi Alliance is over. Go spread the news."
———————————————————————————————————————
"To peace!" Daisuko raises a glass of sake "And to new allies!"
"Cheers." Oka, Shosuko, and Yuki raise their glasses in refrain.
The three Kuze Clan members down their sake in one go while Yuki downs her juice.
"C'mon, just a little sip of sake never hurt anyone." Daisuko says, her words slurred from drunkenness. "We're magical girls. We don't gotta worry 'bout liver damage or nothin'."
"I'm still underage." Yuki says calmly. This is the third time she's had to repeat it to Daisuko. "And don't tell me you came to a karaoke place just to drink."
"Of course not!" Daisuko half-stumbles, half-walks onto the slightly raised platform and starts searching for a song.
"Is she always like this?" Yuki whispers to Shosuko and Oka.
Shosuko closes her eyes and raises her eyebrows, the universal sign for "Yep."
"S-she has more sense when she's d-drunk, actually." Oka's back to her timid, awkward facade.
"Great." Yuki massages her temples.
"Y-you get used to it." Oka drinks some more of her sake.
"Has she always been like this?" Shosuko, who's also underage, asks.
"From what m-mother told me, Daisuko came out of the w-womb like that." Oka smiles. "She's loud, crass, and a liability to e-everyone around her, but weirdly enough, I wouldn't have her any other w-way."
"That's sisterhood for you." Yuki raises her juice glass. "To sisters everywhere."
"To sisters." Everyone joins in, Shosuko included, despite being an only child the last time she checked.
"Ah, here we go. This is a pretty good song." Daisuko's eyes light up as she tosses the microphone between her hands.
"Oh boy." Oka shakes her head. "This is going to s-sting a little bit."
"Huh?"
———————————————————————————————————————
Both Shosuko and Yuki are slumped over in their seats, having taken so much psychic damage that their brains stopped functioning.
"Is it over?" Shosuko groans.
"Not even Kasai sang this badly…" Yuki's soul slowly descends back into her body from the afterlife.
"Thank you, Ozawa! I'll be here all week!" Daisuko blows a kiss into an imaginary crowd.
"Guess I'm up n-next." Oka walks on stage and starts singing a soulful oldie. The microphone wire is just long enough for her to be able to sing into it without bending down. Oka's singing is a little off-key, but after the disaster that was Daisuko's performance, she might as well be the best alto in the world. The song closes to a standing ovation. "W-who's next?"
"I'll pass." Shosuko raises her palm. "Singing really ain't my thing–"
"Aw, c'mon, you're just not drunk enough. Here, have some of mine." Before Shosuko can protest, Daisuko is already shoving another drink into her mouth. Shosuko's head goes fuzzy.
"Aight, fuck it. Let's do this." She smashes her fist into her palm.
"Let's gooooo!" Daisuko claps her hands over her head like she's a monkey asking for bananas.
Shosuko selects the only song she knows the lyrics to, an idol song she used to listen to when she was a kid. She seems to have picked an excellent song since Daisuko's laughing so hard she almost looks like she's having a seizure. Shosuko has to stop halfway to deck Daisuko in the face before resuming singing like nothing happened. Shosuko strikes a cutesy pose as the final note in the song fades out.
"You're an AKB47 fan too?" Yuki raises an approving eyebrow at Shosuko.
"Have been since I was a kid. Got me through training and active service." Shosuko runs her hands through her hair. "I used to want to be an idol before I realized that they probably don't want a delinquent like me."
"Why not? I mean, the market's pretty diverse these days." Yuki raises a pretty good point.
"Ah well, it's too late now. I missed my shot."
"Never say never."
"Well, I think you'd make a great idol." Daisuko drunkenly waves her drink at Shosuko. "Imagine it, part-time yakuza, part-time idol, full-time gorilla."
"Yeah, yeah." Shosuko picks up a glass and throws it at Daisuko's head. It shatters into pieces but Daisuko is unfazed. Partly due to being a magical girl, mostly from her sheer drunkenness.
"Ah Christ. You got sake on my shirt." Daisuko takes off her coat and starts unbuttoning her dress shirt.
"This ain't the place for that, dumbass." Shosuko throws another sake glass but this time, Oka catches it.
"These are expensive."
"Sorry, sorry." Shosuko mutters a quick apology.
"Oh yeah, that kind of reminds me." Daisuko starts rebuttoning her shirt back up. "Just out of curiosity, what size are y'all?"
"Size?" Both Yuki and Shosuko say the exact same thing at the exact same time.
"Y'know…" Daisuko puffs her chest out to emphasize her point.
"Eh?"
"Eh?"
"Eh?"
"I'm a double D cup myself. They're oh-so very heavy. If only I had someone to hold them for me." Daisuko raises her hands up in a smug "It can't be helped" type position.
"Really? You were a battery the last time I checked." Oka says straightforwardly.
"A battery?"
"You know, double A." Oka places a hand on Daisuko's chest, then pushes.
"These feel like pads. A lot of them." Oka squeezes. "I get that it's hard for us washboards, Daisuko, I really do. But this just isn't the way to go about it." Oka stands up and points her finger to the sky. She hasn't even realized that she isn't stuttering. "Us washboards still have our pride! Never will we give in to the temptation of pads!"
Shosuko takes another sip of her sake, removing what little of her filter remains. "If you have that much of a complex about your size, why don't you just get implants?"
"I knew you'd say that! But it's just not the same as being born packing, y'know?!" Daisuko stands up and jabs her finger at Shosuko. "And that's exactly the kind of thing someone with big breasts would say!"
Oka places her hand on Shosuko's chest and squeezes.
"O-Oka?!"
"These feel like bindings."
"BINDINGS?!" Daisuko drunkenly scrambles towards Shosuko before placing her own hand on Shosuko's chest. She squeezes. "...if you're already this big with bindings… then…"
Daisuko's expression is painted with abject horror. "For years… I had thought that this type of rack died with your mother."
"I could have lived a long, happy life without knowing that about my dead mom." Shosuko stands up and dusts herself off. "Anyway, ladies, I gotta head out. I have a date tomorrow at noon."
"Remember, the goal is to get to fourth base asap." Daisuko says her most helpful comment yet.
Yuki gives Shosuko a thumbs up before returning to her juice.
"Alright. Good w-work today. I wish you the best of luck t-tomorrow." Oka claps Shosuko on the shoulder. "By the way, m-mother asked to see you."
"What time?"
"Any time. S-she'll probably be at HQ so feel free to s-stop by."
"Sure. I'll drop tomorrow evening, after my date. Is there anything else?"
"N-nope."
"Sounds good. See y'all later, then."
Half-drunk, Shosuko stumbles out of the karaoke place and in the general direction of her apartment