It's an outing day. I accompanied Louie to find some herbs by the mountain. The Peakstone Mountain to be exact. It is a mountain nearby the border of our kingdom and the Kingdom of Aravis. It took around three hours to reach the base of the mountain from the Leonhart's manor. Quite the long ride, but I am willing to for the child.
"Woahh, there's a lot of Stormbreaths here!" Louie exclaimed. He had already explored the ground to look for the shrubs.
"Stormbreath? What's it for?" I asked, trying to inquire a bit of his interest
"It's a herb that can be used in cooking. It is spicy and gives off a flavourful taste! In medicinal term, it could aide one's cold!" Louie continued on to give a lengthy explanation but my short ass attention span gave up.
*Hm…so it's basically a chilli,* I summed it up.
*What an idiot,* said a voice in my head.
That surprised me. I thought the entity had automatically be switched off since I had been doing well in this world. Turns out it's still there, as rude as ever. While Louie was immersed in his own little world, I took a seat on a nearby boulder, only looking from afar.
"Hey, long time since I heard from you," I said, a grin unexpectedly forming on my face. I didn't realise how much I actually enjoyed its company until now.
*I got things to do.*
"Things to do my ass. How can a voice have anything to do?"
*I'm a more complex being than a simple voice, fool,* entity scoffed.
"Yeah, right."
I shifted from my seat and stretched my legs down. The weather that day was perfect. The bright blue sky with fluffy clouds covering the sunlight partially. It wasn't so hot but it was surely a sunny day. The wind blew softly and the dampness of the forest around the mountain added to its coolness. The excited child had went further away but still in sight.
"Louie! Sister's here if you need anything," I shouted, waving towards him.
The little boy waved back and nodded before proceeding to dig out some herbal plants. Right next to him was a bag half his size, all filled with those freshly harvested herbs.
*You seem to enjoy your life here already,* commented entity.
"Why? Jealous much?" I teased.
*…*
Entity didn't answer. It was as if the entity was thinking of something. Perhaps my teasing didn't work its magic like usual.
"I don't know whether I could return or not," I said. "So, I simply decided to adapt myself here."
*What if you could?*
"Could what? Return to the other world?"
*Yeah.*
The question had left me speechless. I am by no doubt growing fond of this new life but the other world had been lingering in my mind. My parents. I wonder how are they coping? Do they even noticed the changes of my absence? They rarely reached out for me since they know of my packed schedule. If they did notice, what should I do? Are they alright? As I was about to answer to entity's question, we received yet another company.
"You had quite the interesting conversation," said a familiar voice.
Long, black hair flowed right next to my shoulder. It was silky smooth and beautiful, just like how I saw it the first time. Turning to my side, my gaze instantly met the Citrine-like eyes. It was arching up like two crescent moons and a small smile was tugging on her red lips.
"…Miss Elara," I uttered. Although it's the second time I had met her, this beauty never ceased to put me in awe.
"Hello, transmigrator," Elara replied. Her smile grew slightly wider when she said that, which is an absolute opposite of mine.
"…huh?"
My eyes shot open at the word 'transmigrator'. Does she know of my identity? And how did she know of the 'conversation'? Can she hear Entity's voice, too?
Before I could even said anything, the lady had took a seat next to me elegantly. How could one look enchanting even by sitting on a freaking boulder?
"How are you adapting?" she asked.
"…I adapted surprisingly well," I answered without thinking much. Actually, I can't think straight at the moment. Besides her striking face card, there's a lot of questions running around in my head.
"I'm glad that all of my hard work had paid off," Elara replied. Her smile turned into one of satisfaction.
Again, she left me full of questions. Why does all her words made the gears in my head turns aggressively? Is she speaking in riddles? I don't think so. Does she know of something I don't? That's for sure. I don't even know of her secret to beauty. Putting that aside, let's focus on the topic at hand.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
The lady just gave me a smile full of secrets. It might be my imagination but her Citrine eyes had glowed ever so slightly everytime our gazes met. From the looks of it, the dragon lady must be involved in my transmigration. The reasons remain unknown.
"Cat's out of the bag. So you knew that I'm a transmigrator all along?" I asked, and she nodded.
No words had been exchanged after that. We simply sat there silently, taking in the tranquility of the place. I also took the time to arrange my thoughts. Despite looking harmless now, Miss Elara is still a great dragon. I can't speak carelessly around her.
While looking around, I had just realised that Louie had went out of my view, but the sound of his shovel digging around could still be heard. As long as he is safe, it's fine.
"I did think of my old world once in a while," I said, breaking the silence.
"Do you want to go back?"
"…maybe."
Was my choice to adapt a bad one? If I were to return, will Catherine stay? What will happen to Louie? The people at the household….and Lucius.
"I mean….I still have my parents there," I continued.
"Have you found a way to do so?"
"….no."
Almost immediately, Entity interrupted.
*I do,* it said. *I've found a way. I can return you back!*
The sudden declaration left me bewildered. There's so many things to process at once yet they kept on dumping facts on me. Before I could even say anything, another shocking truth was told.
"Even if you return, no one will remember you anymore," said Miss Elara.
"....They won't?"
"No, they won't," she repeated. "And the longer you stay here, the more your soul will be assimilated with this world and your existence there will be slowly erased. But oh, well. It's too late now anyway.
My jaw dropped. All the information received were so difficult to digest. I could actually return to the other world? But my existence had almost been erased? If my parents can't even remember me, what's left there? They are the sole reason that even kept me contemplating in the first place.
"I'm taking the payment now," Elara muttered under her breath. "Your temporary life."
I heard her mumbling something but when I turned to look, Miss Elara was just wordlessly smiling at me. I still couldn't get my head around the informations. But slowly yet surely, the tangled thread seemed to come loose now. The shock may had been tremendous but the choices were still as simple as a 'yes' or 'no'. Do I want to return? Despite all the variables, the main topic didn't change.
And I had decided what to do.
"Entity, I don't want to return," I said. "However, can you still let me visit that world for just a bit?"
*…Yeah, I think I could.*
"Great. Let's try it out when we got back."
*Alright.*
When Louie appeared from behind the rocky mountain, Elara had already vanished into thin air. Perhaps she could use the legendary-level teleportation skill. She's a dragon, after all.
"Sister, I got everything I needed!" Louie exclaimed happily, showing me his bag filled of herbs. His clothes had gotten dirt all over, even up to his face. But seeing the contented smile, I couldn't help but gave him a pat on the head.
"…should we go back, then?"
"Uhm!"
We departed just before the sun sets. It was fortunate that Lucius had lent us a carriage and even one of his coachmen since Louie was starting to doze off from his activities today. Although I was alright with just riding Cassie, Louie might find it uncomfortable.
After an uneventful three hours ride, we finally made it back to the manor. I went to greet Lucius, who was as busy as always, before returning to my room. Louie went a different way to see Elder Samuel. That old man was the one who requested the herbs and Louie was so excited to receive his first outdoor task. They might even spend the whole night in the pharmacy today, too.
Back at my room, I didn't bother taking a shower as I had another pressing matter. I don't know how the process will be but doing something like transmigration should be best in private. I slumped my body onto the bed and closed my eyes.
"Let's do it now, entity."
*Right away.*
Once again, I felt that sensation of being swallowed up by the nothingness. I let it drift me away and enjoyed the tranquility. The exact opposite of how I went through it the first time. Soon enough, I got back to my consciousness. Mouldy, cold bathroom. It's quite nostalgic somehow. My body was still there, curling up on the toilet floor. The mirror by the sink didn't reflect me. Not because it's broken. It's just that I am in a state of astral projection.
"Guess I am a ghost now."
The apartment was still the same as how I remembered it. The time flow of the two worlds must have been slightly different. It's still winter here. The body laying there had turned almost transparent. What Miss Elara said was true. My existence here is fading.
"Anyhow, I need to go and see my parents."
Right after deciding that, I immediately made my way back to my hometown. Being a ghost is quite fun, I'd say. I could pass through the walls at will and people wouldn't notice me. I can get onto a public transport without paying, rolled on the ground without getting dirty and walked through the crowds easily. However, it sure felt kind of lonely to be unseen.
My hometown is in a rural area. While I had moved to the city for work, my parents prefer to stay in this calming part of the country. I'd prefer to stay here too now. They had asked me to inherit their flower shop yet I insisted to work with that exploitative company in the buzzing city. Serves me right, I truly regret it. I missed home. I missed my family.
Right when I stepped foot out of the bus I was on, the beautiful scenery of a village covered in snow laid upon me. My heart had moved my body involuntarily. My feet immediately ran towards where my heart directed it to. I took the familiar streets, saw the familiar signs and finally got to the familiar cottage with familiar faces.
"Dear, have a warm drink."
There's an old lady offering a cup of tea for her husband who was resting by the porch of the small house. Her voice was gentle and her movements were delicate. That's my mother, a gentle woman who could turn strict when needed.
"Ah, thank you darling," said the man. His old hand reached out for the cup and the other reached for his wife. That's my father, a hopeless romantic even in his old age.
The couple sat down and watched the snow piled up in the lawn. They looked healthy, that's all I ever wanted. They had struggled enough to grow me and my brother before. We aren't an easy family, we aren't so poor either. Just an average family.
After my brother took his life, mother had been gloomy. Meanwhile, father tried to keep a tough front and always cheered her up. At night, I sometimes caught him sitting alone outside. Without a doubt, he, too, was struggling to move on. They were also constantly worrying about my well-being.
"Now, you two could just live as a happy old couple," I said, praying for their best. "I wonder if they will still be caught up on his death?"
"No, they won't. They'll forget me, too."
That voice stiffened my body up. I froze on the same spot, unable to process an appropriate response. It had been so long since I had heard this voice. Suddenly, I felt like crying, if a soul can do so. When I turned, I saw the exact face I was expecting. My one and only baby brother. One I failed to save.
"Hi, sister," he said. A smile was tugging on his lips.
"You…how?" my voice trailed off. I couldn't believe my eyes. Perhaps I was hallucinating.
"You can finally see me," he continued.
*Finally? Has he always been with me?*
"Don't tell me that you're….entity?"
"You kept on calling me that stupid name."
"I….uh…"
My mouth moved yet no proper words came out. There's so much to say but it all got stuck in my throat. Swallowing it all back down, I pushed my body forward and embraced him. This boy in my arms was someone that I had been missing, someone that I had been longing. Yet, I had no idea what to say. Never even in my wildest dream had I imagined to see him again.
He returned my embrace back with his own. I wonder how he had been doing. How can I see him now? Is it because we're both ghosts? Does our realm collide? Not to mention how he became the entity. There's so many things unbeknownst to me but I don't want to waste this time on such trivial stuff.
"Hey, you need to return now. I can't hold this connection for any longer," he said. His arms reluctantly loosened around me.
"Ah, is that so...?"
"….. I'm sorry for the limited time."
"Nah, this is more than enough. Let's return now."
I glanced back to have a final look at our parents before returning to the other world, the world where I will spend my whole life now. I tried so hard to engrave those old, warm smile of theirs in my mind. I would be lying had I said that I'm not feeling dejected at all. To be honest, I just want to rush there and declares my existence. Like, 'I'm here, please remember me!'. However, I suppose it's better this way.
"This is also the last time I'll be accompanying you. You can live by your own, right?"
"…where will you go?"
"I'll go and rest. I've wasted lots of my time on you, you know?" he scoffed
Despite saying that, I noticed his gaze turning into something filled with sadness. There's so many unsaid things behind those eyes. So many secrets. This kid, what actually happened to him? I felt somewhat off and was just about to ask but-
"Ahh, quick will you? I told you that I want to rest. I'm tired of seeing your face! Let's go now!"
"Woah, you damn brat! Fine! I don't want to see your face, either!" I scoffed back.
With that, he began to prepare for my return. A portal was slowly opening behind me and my soul began to dissipate. I never got to know how he learnt all of this nor exactly where he would go now. Heaven. I hope to see him again in heaven. This child deserves all of the best and nothing less than that. He's my baby brother, after all. As he was chanting something, I began to lose my consciousness.
"…..be well," he said.
"...sure," I replied. "And you, make sure to have your deserved rest. You had it rough all your life, don't you?"
"…..mhm."
"Thanks for helping me in many ways."
"....take it as my apology, sister….for, you know…not listening to you."
"Let bygone be bygone. Just focus on being happy now."
"…..thank you for staying by my side back then, sister."
"No need to thank me.....see you when I see you, lil' bro."
My eyes met his for the last time but he avoided my gaze. I'm sure of it now. He's hiding something. Is he not actually going for a rest? Will he go through yet another hell?
"….how I wish that could be possible," he said under his breath.
With the last 'Goodbye' from him, the world spun and I lost my consciousness completely. Again, all I could see was the endless void. The voices disappeared and when I opened my eyes once again, my gaze was met with a pair of worried, golden eyes.