(Eleanor's POV)
Being a member of the imperial family is far from easy. Gaining the emperor's favour has always been our top priority. My brothers and sisters are all flaunting their great achievements. Even being born late felt like a huge handicap.
"What? You're an earth attribute?! How come?!" Mother shook my body in frustration.
Being in emperor's favour will greatly improve my mother's influence. My mother, who is the second mistress, was hoping to compete with the others. My brother, Alan de Vesteris, who is the 6th child of the emperor has been showing great potential. However, that is still insufficient.
"I was hoping for you to at least be of support to your brother, but you don't even have the basic thing such as an ice attribute," she grumbles, pushing me away from her sight.
"I'm sorry, mother…"I kept my gaze low, gripping tightly on the hem of my dress.
Perhaps the pitiful sight tugged on her motherly instincts, mother let out a deep sigh before saying,"…it's fine. We'll find a good use of it, somehow."
I tried so hard to be of support to mother. I trained and trained, but it doesn't seem to improve my attribute. The only unique thing that I can do is making the flowers bloom. However, that impressed no one, after all.
"Mother, I made this!" I handed her a flower bouquet.
Mother took it in her hand, but the disappointment was apparent in her eyes. ".…thank you," she said half-heartedly.
Noticing the subtle clues she showed, I tried to lift her spirit, "Don't worry, mother!" I assured with optimism. "I'll definitely find a way to support you!"
Albeit not receiving much affection as the other ladies my age, I love my mother from the bottom of my heart. I craved for her praises, I dreamt of her proud embrace. Not being able to wield the symbolic power of the imperial family, I racked my brain, searching for another method to prove my worth.
Growing up, I decided to use my beauty to charm influential lords. The first one was a young count, whom I met during my debutante ball. However, I caught him cheating and we broke apart. In a month or so, I received a news, saying that he got into a carriage accident.
*That's unfortunate for him,* I thought. *Thankfully, I have no need for him anymore.*
The second was an eldest son of a Marquess. We met during the hunting season, in which he offered his winning prey to me. Despite looking for a marriage of convenience, I actually caught some feelings for him. Unexpectedly, we got into a big fight that drifted us apart. Again, a death news reached my ears. The young heir had been killed by a band of mountain bandits during his business trip! Naturally, the continuous accidents spun into a rumour, conveniently pointing at me.
"Both of her fiancés died," said a middle-aged viscountess. "Isn't it too convenient to call it a coincidence?"
"Indeed," agreed another noble lady. "They all died after being in a bad condition with the princess."
The conversation took a pause as they began exchanging knowing glances.
"Could it be…"
"Shhh...don't say it out loud!"
'The princess is like a wolf in sheep clothing. Despite her petite looking appearance, she is actually a psychotic lady who is capable of doing anything to get what she wants.'
That kind of rumour spread around.
"….El," Mother called, rubbing her aching temple. "Just what have you done?"
Mother handed me the newspaper she was reading, refusing to look at me in the eyes. An article about the rumours had been published, smearing my name with false accusations.
"This—!" I shook my head, wishing to plead for my innocence. "Mother, I—"
"Please," Mother raised her hand to a halt. "Just please, if you can't help me, don't make it worse," she sighed, her tired eyes avoided the very sight of me.
"But mother, I didn't do it. I swear!"
"Even if you said so, the rumours had spread. You have to give them a solid proof to even argue. You know how high society works."
Mother crossed her arms, not wishing to continue the conversation. The disappointment never leaving her eyes, still the same like those in my childhood. Sometimes it made me wonder, had she ever felt any other emotions for me? Perhaps it's better if she just lashed out and scolded me like how the maids did to their misbehaving children. Am I not even worthy of her anger?
Out of desperation, I made a promise. "I'll find it, mother!" I said. "I'll get it for sure!"
I attended a lot of tea parties and salons, tracing the clues on those so-called murder. Mocking gazes never left me alone, always waiting for a chance to tear me apart. I even went to visit the low-class society in hope for any possible enlightenment.
While travelling from town to town, I met the second son of Baron Willowfield, Noah Willowfield. Despite the rumours, he fell in love with me. Although I had rejected him over and over, he kept on being persistent.
"Is there truly no chance for me, princess? For us? Tell me," Noah pleaded, reaching for my hand. "Tell me, why can't I be yours?"
I let him held my hand in his, gritting my teeth with guilt. "Noah, you know how people perceive me."
"So? What does it matter?"
Perhaps on that day, my resolution finally dissolved. My grip on his hand tightened, causing him to flush beet red.
"Then, don't leave me. Ever," I said, looking straight into his eyes.
Hearing that, Noah beamed ever so brightly, elated by the answer he received. Seeing the foreign emotion, I slowly fell for him, too.
"I won't, princess!" He exclaimed. "I promise!"
Marrying him won't benefit me but I genuinely loved him since then. Knowing my story, he assisted me in my investigation on the death incidents.
"Ah, that one was no accident," said a member of the mountain bandit we managed to trace. After paying a good amount of money, the man began to spill the truth. "Someone had planned it out and told us the exact location to make an ambush."
I was in a bind after all of the clues pointed at the 4th princess, who is the daughter of the first mistress. She had always been a competitive person, taking down her competitors any chance she get. Currently, she is the proudest child of the first mistress, having been engaged to a foreign duke— double her age.
While having my hands full with the issue, something dreadful happened. Noah was gravely poisoned and bedridden! Many tried to heal him but none succeeded. The only thing I could do was frequently visiting the Willowfield manor, praying for him to break out of his comatose state.
"Wake up, Noah," I pleaded. "Why aren't you waking up? Didn't you promised not to leave me?"
Clasping his lifeless hand, I could feel his gradually fading body heat. The eyes that once looked at me with affection were tightly closed, leaving my own gaze unmet. Despising the helplessness I felt, I made up a new resolution.
"I'll find a way to heal you, Noah. And I'm not stopping half-way this time."
Determination filled my head. I don't care about the rumours on my image now. He is my top priority. Surprisingly, the solution appeared rather effortlessly. Days into my new mission, I heard of an interesting piece of information in the weekly salon I attended
"Hey, have you heard of the new Marquess of Leonhart?" Whispered the youngest lady of the Foxeshire's duchy. "It was said that he could wield a massive amount of light mana!"
"Really?" Gasped the lady sitting across of her. "That rarely occurs, right?"
The rumours on the Marquess piqued my interest. Perhaps, he is capable on healing my Noah! However, approaching him is a tough task. I tried to get close to him multiple of times, only to get continuously ignored. What can I do to grab his attention? What can I offer him?
"I like you, Marquess," I blurted.
Even though I have a nasty rumour going around, the imperial blood still flowed through my veins without fail. Having a relationship with me would mean that he'd have a close connection with the imperial family. That's a good offer, even for a Marquess. With this, I could also propose a deal to heal Noah! Afterwards, he is free to break the engagement anytime he wished to.
Without answering to my confession, the Marquess wordlessly strode towards a plain-looking female knight.
"This knight is the one that I like," he claimed.
*Indeed, they do look close," I thought to myself.
But then again, I don't mind if he kept a lover by his side. What I wanted is a deal, that's all. However, the plain knight isn't as plain as I had initially expected.
"Even he does not have any consent of this but I believed that I like you, your highness. Please don't misunderstand," she said without a hitch.
*Is she out of her mind?*
That was my first thought on her. Nevertheless, the knight lingers in my memory for longer than I wished for. I even found her act rather amusing. The day after, even a week passed but I still couldn't forget her. I once saw a picture of a donkey and even that reminded me of what I said to her.
*Maybe I was a bit too harsh? But donkeys have its charm, too."
To my delight, we met again a couple of weeks later in my rose garden. She was attentively admiring my work, making me flattered at the sight.
"It's my skill. I made it bloom," I said, wondering on her reaction.
"Seriously?! That's a wonderful skill you got there. Must be great to have these flowers all year 'round!"
She was so impressed with my skill, as if it was the best thing she had ever seen! Her compliments came pouring in and the sparkles in her eyes were so genuine, it reminded me of Noah.
*….Wonderful, she said?*
It's been a while since I last felt this happy.