The night went surprisingly well. Murphy was able to listen to my whole story without butting in or asking any extra questions. How much of it he actually believed was still in question, but I was confident that he would not betray my trust... Besides, Katye wanted to save him more than I did.
He had started off as an asshole in the show, but that was more because Bellamy had betrayed his trust in him which turned Murphy against the rest of us. The version of the truth that I told him did not go to the level of knowing the future, but I did tell him about Praimfaya and that I was trying to prevent a war within the Coalition before the bunkers were ready. With a promised spot and some trust placed in him, both Katye and I believed that Murphy could still become the wonderful anti-hero that he became in the show at the end of it all.
After I had Dagyn show Murphy to his room in the tower, Raven and I had a wonderful night enjoying all of the luxuries that our room provided. The next day was the Council meeting, so I headed over to the Trikru compound and sparred with Anya to waste my time while Raven worked in the bunker. Thankfully, I had reached the point where I did not end up black and blue if I used my powers to cover for my inexperience against her, but I still had a wry smile on my face when Lexa walked into the compound at the end of the day, even though I knew this was coming.
"You're improving, Octavia," Lexa remarked as she walked into the courtyard while Gustus followed in her shadow.
"Thanks, but I know that without my tricks, I still would not last as long as I do against my instructors," I replied.
"You don't give yourself enough credit. Your powers aren't something that are easy to master; it takes years of practice and study. You're doing exceptionally well, considering your previous life on the Ark."
"Thank you for the compliment, Heda," I said with a bow.
"I had come to tell you of the Council's ruling, but are you still up for a little more sparring? I don't think I've ever faced such a unique opponent."
"Heda, I don't think that's..." Gustus started.
"You doubt me, Gustus?" Lexa asked with an amused smile.
"Of course not, Heda," he replied quickly with a bow.
She chuckled and turned her attention back to me, asking, "May I use your weapon, Octavia? My swords are less forgiving."
"Sure, but you'll want to remove my energy from them, or I could use them against you," I replied, holding out my two stone batons.
She took the batons and started infusing her energy into them, slowly turning them a pitch-black color. This was the first time that anyone had taken over something that I had created, so it felt strange to sense my mana being eaten away by hers. She had to use about five times the energy that I did to make the weapons, but I was significantly more skilled with Earth than any of my other elements, despite my affinity with Fire.
"Hmm... I don't think I did that the best way," Lexa mused with a frown.
"I've just practiced my Earth spells more than any others. That was good for a first attempt. I took over ten minutes to make my first pebble," I replied.
"I've always been a quick study," she teased with a smile. "Are you ready?"
"If the Heda would humor me, I'd like for you to request a song."
"Right, Indra told me that you do better while listening to your music. I believe that is the only reason why she has tolerated your antics," she chuckled. "It's been a while since I've listened to the music of the Old World, so that sounds nice. How about 'Rebel, Rebel' by David Bowie?"
"Good choice," I replied with a smile as I walked over to my music player and set up the song.
"I hope you'll take this seriously. It's been quite some time since I fought with my real strength."
"If that is Heda's wish," I said, kneeling down.
I pressed my hands into the dirt and started manipulating it to climb up my forearms then harden into thick stone bracers. Although I could completely cover my body in stone, it would slow me down, impede my movements, and waste a lot of mana to keep the stone flexible. Against Lexa, losing any speed would just guarantee that I would lose faster, even with a strong defense.
As I stood up, a new stone staff formed in front of me, and I grabbed it as I moved to stand across from her. Neither of us had been able to spar with our full strength and, while she would not be revealing her Shadow-based powers, her superspeed would still give me plenty of trouble since she could sense when I was about to use my powers. My biggest advantage when facing off against normal, well-trained fighters was that I could surprise them with a variety of spells, but it was gone in front of her.
Just as David Bowie started to sing, I threw myself at her while using the ground under my feet to propel me faster. Lexa blocked my swing, crossing the black batons, but the impact still pushed her back a little. Next, I summoned up a pillar of dirt which quickly turned to stone as it tried to stab her.
I sensed her body explode with mana and she kicked off the stone pillar before it could reach her. My eyes could barely catch the movement, but my Earth Domain still could relay where she touched, even if it seemed like she was in a dozen places at once. Now, it was time for her counterattack, and I could only do my best to block her attacks.
Her mana spiked to an even higher amount as she unleashed a barrage of strikes that left afterimages assaulting me. I could only hunker down and use my bracers to defend my chest, but several attacks still hit my upper arms and thighs, leaving nasty bruises behind, I was sure. She could only support that level for a few moments, so when I sensed her mana dropping, I took a deep breath then spewed out a giant flamethrower of white fire.
She could still shift her mana quickly enough to allow her to throw herself down on the ground, avoiding the fire while also kicking my legs out from underneath me. Before I could hit the ground, she rolled herself back onto her feet and jogged a few feet back since she felt me stirring my energy. When I hit, half a dozen stone knives flew out of the ground at her, but she deflected them all with ease since she was still burning her mana to keep up her speed.
I pushed myself up slowly, my head and body aching alike, but I was still not ready to stop. This was the first time that I had been able to go all out and use my powers because Lexa could actually predict and defend against them. Both of us shared a look then we started building up our mana for one final, flashy attack.
I conjured a dozen white fireballs while making another dozen stone knives float around me. A bright red tear of blood dripped from my eye, but Lexa was in a similar state, except that her blood was black. I launched everything at her and then she vanished from her spot. She reappeared in the next moment, right in front of me, as her foot slammed into my chest. I was sent flying backwards, blood dripping from my mouth because she broke my sternum and at least a dozen ribs.
"It's always... kicks," I coughed as I laid on the ground, channeling my healing spell into my broken bones, while the final notes of the song rang out.
Lexa walked up to me slowly, breathing hard and a second black trail running down her face. She let out a weak chuckle, replying, "A sword would be worse."
I only gave her a huff and focused on healing myself until I passed out. When I woke up again, I was back in my room, and my body was screaming with pain. Breathing hurt, laying hurt, everything just hurt, but despite the physical pain, I could feel a pair of eyes burning my soul with her anger.
"Raven," I sighed, turning my head to see her sitting next to my bed. "I'm sorry. I know we overdid it."
"Overdid it? She shattered your sternum and broke every rib. If your healing wasn't so logic-defying, you would have died from the injuries within a few minutes," Clarke chided, coming into my view with Finn next to her.
I chuckled weakly, despite causing me more pain, and defended, "But it was fun."
That made Finn chuckle as well, but the other two glared at me.
"It's good that you can still make jokes," a voice said, out of view, which caused everyone but myself to jump.
"How did you..." Finn started to ask.
"What the h*ll is problem?!? Look at what you did to her!" Raven yelled, jumping to her feet.
"Raven, she had to," I groaned as I reached out and grabbed her by the wrist.
"What are you talking about?" Clarke asked.
"I told you from the beginning... Lexa can't look weak, or someone will try to kill her. With me sparring against Indra and Anya, regularly using my powers, Azgeda is likely going to try to convince me to join their side against Lexa while I'm there. Obviously, I'm not really going to betray her, but she needed to reveal a bit of her power, so that Queen Nia would be more hesitant to try anything quickly. Nia is far more dangerous than any of you understand, and I'd rather not go berserk again when she tries to come after those closest to me so that she can control me."
"Nia tortured the woman that I loved, trying to uncover my secrets, then delivered her head to my bed... both times. I imagine you can understand why we were willing to go to more extreme measures to ensure it looked believable and give Octavia another reason why she might oppose me," Lexa added.
Trio's expression changed with that bit of information. Clarke and Finn looked at Raven with concern while she looked down at me with tears trying to build up in her eyes.
"You should have told me," Raven said softly.
"Would you have still let me do it?" I asked with a weak smile.
"No," she pouted as she sat down next to me.
I chuckled and rested my head against her hip. "So... I never actually got to hear the Council's final decision with Azgeda."
"A year of service in Troit where you'll be healing the injured and sick as well as building structures with your powers. Nia has graciously allowed you to bring four personal guards with you: Major Byrne, Bellamy, Finn... and Clarke," Lexa explained.
"Oh, Abby is going to be pissed when she finds out," I chuckled.
"It is very likely... but I'll ask you to make the same promise that I did for Raven. Things may be different this time, but you still understand my feelings," she replied.
"You don't even need to ask; Clarke's one of my closest friends, so I won't let anything happen to her."
"Thank you," Lexa said with a bow of her head before her skin turned jet-black and she vanished.
"Where did she go? How did she go?" Finn asked with confusion.
I chuckled and complained, "Don't make me laugh. It still hurts."
"Right, crazy powers like you. Why does she care so much about Clarke?"
"Because she knows you're an idiot," I retorted. "Obviously, there are things I can't tell you, so stop asking while you can. You're just going to have to trust that everything I'm doing is for our own good, and the rest of our people."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," he replied with a wry smile.
"Well, you seem like you're doing fine, so we'll let you two have some space. No one has told Bellamy yet, but Lexa already announced that you were injured in a training accident and that you would need a couple of days to recover, so it's only a matter of time before he finds out," Clarke said.
"Great... big brother to the rescue, to smother me with concern, nagging, and lectures; my favorite," I groaned.
"He just wants to protect you," Raven said.
"Yeah... I know the feeling," I sighed.
"Have a good night," Clarke added before she and Finn headed out of my room.
Raven ran her fingers through my hair for a while, not saying anything, while I just rested my head against her. There were so many things that I wanted to tell her, to just be real with her, but it was not the right time... though I was beginning to wonder if it would ever come. If I had been smart in the beginning, I never would have allowed myself to get so close to her, but I did and refused to call it a mistake. I was not sure if I could keep doing all of this without her since she was quickly becoming the number one reason why I kept fighting day after day. Above everything else in this world, I just wanted her to be happy.
I spent the next two days, mostly in bed, either healing myself or sleeping off the burden that that my magic placed on me. My only real break was on the first morning when Bellamy found out and barged into my room. He did not even knock, so Dagyn ended up pinning him to the ground before Raven could explain that he was my brother. His nagging ranged from thinking Lexa was really trying to kill me to what the h*ll was thinking agreeing to something so dangerous and then even trying to pull Raven into it, asking why she did not stop me. Once he realized that I had not told her either nor was I repenting for my behavior, he stormed out of my room and I spent the rest of that morning ignoring Raven's 'I told you so' look.
On the evening of my final day of resting before I would leave with Azgeda, Kane and Clarke visited me. It started off as a final checkup and Kane giving me some advice on how to carry myself while I was gone, but after five minutes, Lexa appeared in the shadows of my living room.
"I've swept the surrounding rooms thoroughly. No one should be listening to our conversation," Lexa said as she walked over to the seating area.
"How do you do that?" Clarke asked.
Lexa smiled and replied, "If Octavia can use the Light to heal, I can use the Shadows to jump between them, unseen. Like Octavia, I have my limitations due to the amount of mana inside my body, but unlike her, I've been training since I was a child."
(Liar! You've been doing this as long as me! You're just flirting shamelessly!) I grumbled inside my mind.
"Right, she told us that your powers were different than hers," Clarke said, looking away quickly with a faint pinkness in her cheeks as she stood up in an attempt to hide it.
I rolled my eyes at Clarke's reaction and leaned back against the couch, putting an arm over Raven's shoulders. If she still wanted Clarke, that was fine, but Raven was mine and I was not going to let Lexa take her from me. Understanding my actions, Lexa chuckled as she sat down in an empty chair next to Kane.
"Are you really sure that you want to go through with this plan? You don't have to play along with Nia coup," Kane asked.
"I'd be placing everyone at a much greater risk, especially those closest to me. If we want more time to prepare, this is the best way that we have," I replied with a sigh.
"You can't look too eager to join her side. Even if she needs you and trusts you, she'll kill you if she gets the faintest suspicion," Lexa warned.
"Thanks, Bell, for the reminder that I could get myself killed," I mocked.
"I wondered why you didn't bring him along for this conversation," she chuckled.
"I have enough people questioning my sanity with what I'm doing," I sighed. "Besides, it will be a hell of a lot more convincing if we leave him in the dark on this and he explodes when he finds out that I'm switching sides."
"I see your wisdom," Lexa agreed.
"Nope, not wisdom; I'm just putting off the bitch-out for later. I can only take one in a week."
"You know you're going to get a second one once he realizes that this was your entire plan along, right?" Raven asked.
I thought about it for a moment then was forced to agree, "Probably, but that's future me's problem. He treats me like a child; I'm t... I'm older than him whether I look it or not."
"How old are you?" Raven asked with curiosity.
"Technically, Octavia and I lived well over a hundred years because of the cryostasis, so it got a little silly to keep track of a thing like our age once we reached Bardo," Lexa said, trying to help me out of the hole I had just dug with my fumble.
"She obviously did," Raven retorted.
Lexa could only shrug and gave me a 'good luck, idiot' look.
With Raven trying to stare a hole into my head, I sighed, "Thirty-seven, and it was just a dumb accident when I died. It wasn't like I was sick or killed."
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
I kissed her forehead and replied, "Don't be. Things are already a lot better than how it should go, and it's not likely that a car crash can kill me this time around."
"By the time that comes around again, I'm going to be offended if we both aren't flying to and from wherever we are going," Lexa teased.
"If I can ever practice something aside from my healing and Earth powers, perhaps," I chuckled. "But, speaking of those powers, here is that ring for your man on the inside, if that plan actually has to be used."
"And you two aren't going to tell us what that might be?" Kane asked though it was clear by his tone that he knew the answer that he would receive.
"Where's the fun in that, Kane?" I retorted then tossed him a small metal tube that had a raven symbol on each end. "For your part. Any message that I send to you that has something identical to that is from me and hasn't been tampered with. I'll always charge the metal, so if you get one that won't open, that means that something is truly wrong where we are. If I can tell you anything in the message, I will, but I plan on allowing Nia to read all of the messages that I send."
"You don't think that the messenger will change the tube by accident?" Kane asked.
"One of the nice things about making buckets and buckets worth of metal bars for Sinclair means that I had the chance to do a few of my own tests. The mana inside the metal reacts to the person's intent which is why he could bend it, fold it, and anything else that he wanted it to do. I have a soft spot for Sinclair as well as several other members of the Engineering Team, so the mana 'listens' to them. Hand that tube to someone that I don't trust, they'll only be able to open it by breaking it apart. It's like my fire... red flames are natural and what most people would face against me while white is safe for those that I care about or are not trying to hurt, and black is deadly and soul-burning if I hate them," I explained.
"Alright," Kane sighed.
"Are all of these secrets really needed?" Clarke asked.
"What if one day you found out that your entire life was something completely different than what you knew?" Lexa asked with a sigh. "Even if you can accept that, do you think everyone else will? We make these decisions with as much information as we have and tell you as much as we think is safe, but our knowledge of the future is becoming less and less with every passing day. I can only ask, beg, that you trust that Octavia and I are doing everything that we can to protect as many of our people as we can."
I sighed, thinking of how Raven would react when she learned the full truth. If I actually made it to the end to tell her, I honestly did not think it would matter at that point, but I was terrified of losing her support before then in case I was wrong.
"We do," Kane agreed.
"Thank you," Lexa replied.
We all talked for another hour or so, going over the different codes that I could send without raising Nia's suspicion. There was a lot more that went into being a double agent than I had thought originally, but it did not change the fact that I needed to do this, whether I was ready or not. Everyone brought up as many scenarios as they could come up with, but after the thirtieth, I realized that the value of this was minimal. Until everything unfolded in front of us, we could only guess what would happen.
After Lexa vanished and Kane and Clarke left through the front door, Raven and I stayed on the couch. She did not talk much during the main conversation, but I knew that it was because she was worrying about me. I could only hold her until she was ready to speak because if I pushed before she was ready, it would likely blow up in my face.
"You think one of us are going to get killed in this mess, don't you?" Raven asked while she leaned against my chest and held my hand.
"I was cocky when we went into Mount Weather, and we know how that ended. I loved Lincoln, but you... I can't lose you," I replied as a few tears dripped from my eyes. "There won't be anyone who can calm me down and I'll unleash a real monster."
She looked up at me as she reached up with her other hand and wiped away my tears. "I love you."
"I love you too, Raven," I replied then leaned down and kissed her.