"I am eager for you to teach me more," Vevina said examining Astrid's reddened foot with a tender touch.
Her cool fingers felt good against the welt that emerged on her instep. Astrid didn't want her to stop touching her. She closed her eyes as Vevina's hand settled over the injured spot and magically turned the heat to tingle. The strange sensation crawled along Astrid's skin until it reached her center, and that was when she knew Vevina needed to stop touching her.
Astrid's eyes sprung open, startled, when she felt a tongue lick her toes, and she wasn't at all surprised to see it was Marley.
"We should eat," Astrid, grabbing her boot to put on after nudging the puppy off her.
"Then we will resume the lessons?" Vevina asked, spreading her cloak on the ground and retrieving the basket.
"You are an eager learner," Astrid took the basket from her and assisted her to sit, then plopped down opposite her while she spread out the food.
"I never imagined that I would enjoy combat."
"What I teach you is far from combat. Battle gives no time for thought or reason, or fear. One charges in and lashes out until nothing is left standing around you."
Astrid recalled how she had stood that day on the battlefield surrounded by enemy, knowing she had lost the fight, and with a good chance of losing her life.
"You are right," Vevina said, interrupting her thoughts. "I probably would not fare well in combat, but it is good to know I could protect myself if necessary."
Astrid grabbed hold of her chin. "Did your stepfather beat you daily?"
Vevina paled and moved away from her, wrapping protective arms around her middle as the puppy seemingly scurried to comfort her. Astrid had her answer without her speaking a word, and she cursed beneath her breath for the abuse and fear she'd had to endure.
Vevina scooped the persistent pup up, nuzzled her face with his, his tiny pink tongue licking her with kisses, then she took a small sack and opened it, spreading the tiny bits of meat for the pup to enjoy. Astrid reached for a chunk of brown bread and waited patiently for an answer. She handed her a hunk of cheese and slice the smoked ham that she brought and shared the slices before she spoke.
"He beat me often enough."
"You don't wish to speak of it?" Astrid challenged.
"What is there to speak of? Robert has a heavy hand and that is the way of it."
"He need not hit you," Astrid argued.
"Right or wrong, it is the way of some men, and women can do no more than survive."
"Not women in my clan," Astrid said.
"I know," Vevina said and shrugged.
"And I will not raise a hand to you or let anyone do that," Astrid said again.
"I know that too."
Astrid was surprised by her stanch reply. What was it that made her know, not doubt, that Astrid would never raise a hand against her?
"How can you be so sure though?" she asked.
"Your father, the Chieftain, is an honorable man," Vevina said. "The leader always lead by example, and you are one too."
Astrid dusted her hand roughly. "Don't be so sure."
"But I am," she insisted.
"You do not know me well enough to make such an assumption," Astrid argued.
"It is not an assumption. It is fact."
"How so?" Astrid said, perplexed.
"You took my stepfather to task for raising his hand to me. If you did not find his action abusive, you would have ignored him."
"You forget you are my wife," Astrid reminded her.
"And as such I am afforded protection," she said. "Only an honorable heart would reach as you did."
Astrid quickly turned her head away. "I am not honorable. I will hear no more."
"Do not deny the truth. Why do you refuse to accept that about yourself?"
Astrid pinned her with an angry glare. "Why do you speak when I order silence?"
Vevina looked hurt and lowered her head. "Forgive me. I thought we had entered into a fair discussion."
Her accurate accusation caused Astrid to relent with a partial grin. "We did."
Vevina raised her head with a smile again. "A fair answer then for a fair question?"
First Astrid had to catch her breath. Her smile, the way her violet eyes lit with joy, her moist pink lips, and her chin thrust just enough in the air to appear victorious, all of it did her in.
For a moment, Astrid got a peek at who she struggled to become, a woman strong enough to say what she thought without repercussions, and oddly enough, Astrid had been the means that allowed her to take steps toward that strength. It made her feel good that she could give her that safe space.
"Why do you refuse to believe yourself as good?" she asked.
Did she confide in her wife? Did she tell her what haunted her? Astrid had confided in no one the detail of her and Rohan's capture.
The confession came with a sense of relief. "I should have shaved my brother."
"You tried."
"How do you know I did?"
"If you did not, I'm sure it's because circumstances prevented you from saving him."
Astrid stretched her hand out and held it palm up, staring at her fingers. "I had no choice but to leave without him."
"You returned home, and Rohan will as well," Vevina reassured. "Your guilt will do your brother no good."
Astrid grabbed hold of her chin and captured her violet eyes with hers. "I don't care. Whatever the price, I will find him."
~*~
Vevina shielded her eyes against the bright sun that had burned the chill from the air by midday. Astrid had left the stable in a huff, and Marley curled up with other pups to sleep. Left to herself, Vevina decided a walk on the moors would clear her head.
She was brought to an abrupt halt by the scene that confronted her when she turned the corner of the keep. Her wife was in an argument with Arthur and it looked as if they would come to blows. She approached with caution and wasn't surprised to hear them squabbling over their missing brother.
A crowd had gathered, whispered circulated, heads shook, and Vevina had no doubt that many took Arthur's side. Arthur was well liked and respected by the clan, and after all, he was a man. Astrid, since her return, hadn't endeared herself to clan members. She brooded and remained to herself and had only recently begun spending time with Vevina, and that was because she insisted that Vevina learned to protect herself. Astrid still continued to sleep on the floor front of the hearth. She almost showed no interest in the clan, and that caused people to wonder over the worthiness of their future female Chieftain.
Yet Astrid was her wife, and wifely duty called for her to stand by her no matter what. But after their recent discussion, she better understood what troubled Astrid. She laid full blame on herself for failing to rescue her brother, and nothing anyone said could change her mind.
She would do anything to find Rohan, even if it meant arguing with her family.
In the keep, accusation and threats flew like weapons, each brother, hitting their mark and causing tempers to blaze, no doubt to soon rage out of control.
Vevina had to do something or before long fists would fly and gossipers would have fonder to feed their wagging tongues.
How to distract her?
A simple shout would probably be ignored, or Astrid would order her to be gone and she'd have to obey. What was she to do? A sudden thought struck her. Astrid immediately went after her stepfather when she learned that he had injured Vevina. What if Astrid thought Vevina ill? Would she come to her aid again?
Do not hesitate.
Her warning rang in her head. Too much time spent on a decision would cancel its effectiveness. She didn't hesitate. She screamed out to Astrid while clutching her stomach.
"Astrid!"
She turned, her face full of rage.
"Help me," she cried, and letting her body go limp, dropped to the ground in a faint. She kept her eyes closed as she lay there, and felt the ground tremble beneath her from rushing footfalls.
"Has she been sick?" Arthur's voice, not her wife's, spoke first though hers followed anxiously.
"I don't believe so."
"Perhaps she's with child," someone else spoke, an older woman's voice, but then she seemed to realize how stupid sounded. Still it wasn't impossible for people to think that of her, especially when her stepfather had probably spewed out tales of her mother whenever he got drunk.
Astrid was a woman nevertheless. If Vevina had made any choice to lay with a man in the clan Sinclare, it would still be justified given that the man was Arthur, her twin brother. After all, they were supposed to be husband and wife since the beginning.
"Vevina," Astrid said, and she felt her probe her stomach lightly. Whispers sounded like buzzing bees. She had accomplished what she intended for Astrid and Arthur to stop arguing. But now she seemed to open a new discussion regarding her sudden illness.
Vevina fluttered her eyelids. Astrid urged her awake, repeatedly calling her name. Vevina felt her heart catch. Her voice reverberated with sincere concern. She actually worried, as if she cared about her all her life.
Vevina opened her eyes fully to gaze at her wife, and there for her to see, to confirm her suspicions. Guilt struck her hard. She wished it hadn't been necessary to make Astrid suffer needlessly like this. Vevina cringed for the hurt she caused her.
"What's wrong? Are you in pain?"
"I am not feeling well."
Astrid scooped her up in her arms and stood. She held her close, and she turned her face into her chest, breathing deeply, enticed by her scent, her strength, and her concern.
"Get her to the keep. I will go find mother," Arthur said and rushed off.
Astrid carried her without difficulty, as if Vevina weighted no more than a small sack of grain. Crazy as it might seem, she could almost feel her wrap her arms protectively around her, and an overwhelming sense of safety washed over her.
She wrapped her arm more tightly around her neck as they entered the hall. Astrid stopped and asked anxiously, "Are you all right?"
No, Vevina wanted to scream. I am not all right. I have unnamed feelings inside me, and they are all for you.