It was dark. But for the chirping sound of the birds and the howling sound of the wind, It was dead quiet. This street was never quiet. I went to the window to look down from our dilapidating estate. The usual lights which showed the bubbly allies of Idi-Oro streets of Mushin were all put out. Never had this being the case. The lanes and the balconies of our clustered neighborhood were all empty.
I shut the only window and door in our living room and went to the room to do the same. The eerie feeling of being alone and being watched crept upon me. I had finished cooking dinner. Any moment from now, Mama and Charity would be back from the shop. But why on earth was it so quiet?
As if nature heard my question, I heard the sound of footsteps in our hallway. Maybe it was Mama and Charity. But I had learnt the hard way to wait for the person on the other side to talk before opening the door. So I went to the bedroom and waited for the knock on the door to come. When it did, I called out, willing my voice not to shake. "Who is it?"
Deafening Silence!
Then the stealth sound of open and closed door and then rustling clothes and wet boots in the living room gave me the response I needed. Papa! I hurried to lock the door to our bedroom, removed the key and clutched it like my life depended on it. I know I cannot fight Papa off. I had been lucky all along. Mama always sent Charity to make dinner while I stayed back with her at the shop. But Mama said I would make a useless woman if I still could not cook at 9 and so she sent me home to handle dinner today. Not that I didn't know how to cook, I had learnt to since I was 7. Mama had made certain of that. But I had not wanted to return home alone because of Papa for I had always sensed it. Papa's lingering eyes when I walked past him. The way he opened and closed the door when I was in the bathroom and the way he made me bend over to pick up his dishes after eating.
"Why did you lock it up Little one?" The slurred voice of an alcoholic came from outside the door. "Just imagine all the fun we can have together and you lock the door?" The door knob turned slowly, It was locked. Thank God Mama had repaired it three days ago. "You know I have a spare key baby. But what fun would it be to just unlock and come in when the resistance you put up is so..." I heard him inhale deeply. "Appealing? Almost as appealing as your innocence."
I gasped, horrified by the evil of his intent. That was nothing like the kind man who had treated me to meals and protected me from the physical abuse of my foster mother and sister. I was earnestly scared. Besides Papa's heavy breathing and slurred words, there was still a ghostly silence. It was almost... Ominous.
"I know what you are thinking baby." Came the drunk voice again. "Open the door and you will find out. Don't you want to be Papa's little girl anymore?" He asked and chuckled as if realizing the sarcasm in the statement. "Ok. Let's make a deal. From now on, your mother and sister will not hurt you again. Wouldn't you want to be free? To be my wife? You just turned eleven. You know I have a right to more than one wife right? Didn't your Mu'allim teach you that?" He chuckled and crocked. "Maybe he didn't. I would be angry if that old toothless old man says he wants to make you his fourth wife." He responded to his own question. "But I swear that I have a right to four wives. So I am going to unlock the door now and make you my second wife..."
True to his words, I heard the sound of a key bunch and then, the lock turned and the door began to slowly open...
RING RING... Was that.... A PHONE? WE DO NOT HAVE A PHONE HERE. "AMANAH! AMANAH! WAKE UP! YOU WILL MISS THE CALL. I THINK IT'S THE LAW FIRM!"
Law Firm... Papa and the door... LAW FIRM! I jumped up the bed and grabbed the phone from Mom's hands my heart pounding in KY chest.
"Wa'alaykumussalaam Wa RahmatuLlaah. Yes, this is her." My heart was literally in my mouth and I couldn't tell if it was the nightmare or the long awaited call. Subconsciously, Mom raised her hands in silent dua while Sophia was practically frozen in her place. It was the call we had all been waiting for. "Yes, OK. JazakumuLlaahu Khairan. "My heart was still pounding in my ears when I went right on my forehead in sujjud-ul-shukr. Bye the time I came back up, two pair of impatient eyes took me in. Usually, I did sujjud-ul-shukr whether I get the result I wanted or not. So clearly, I had not given anything away. I shouldn't, but the mischievous part of me wanted so badly to prank them.
I took my seat quite slowly, my shoulders sagging in despair. Mom slowly walked towards me. "Everything is as Allah has planned dear." She consoled, taking me in her arms. Tears already forming in her eyes. "We can try again In Shaa Allah." She continued. "There are other available job openings. Come." She started to rise from the arm of the chair. "I saw a law firm here in Kaduna advertising for an opening a week ago. Just send your applications there. I know it is not your dream job, but you could make do with it while applying for others." She continued. Her compassion unarmed me. Without my permission, tears came rolling down my eyes. I did not know how long I could keep up the drama.
Sophie came to me too. "Yes Amanah. What is so good about Amjad Solicitors anyways? You will get even better options In Shaa Allah. Just re-apply and ask Allah. With time..."
I could not take it anymore. They always wanted what I wanted for myself, because they trusted my choices and belief. I would never be able to completely send my gratitude to Allah for sending me such a wonderful family. I wiped the tears, took Mom and Sophie's hands and whispered. "I got in!" My voice was so low, but they heard me.
Mom covered her mouth with her hands. Sophie jumped and hugged me. "AlhamduliLlah! Congratulations Sis. But... then, why do you cry?"
I shook my head as another uncontrollable drop rolled down my eyes. "I am just grateful to Allah for you two." I decided to neither inform them about my little prank or my Nightmare. They did not deserve to worry about me anymore.
That was when Mom's own tears rolled down as well. I went into her arms. "Mom, I made it into Amjad. There were over forty applicants for a vacancy of ten and I made it!"
"Of course, you did. Whose Daughter are you?" She asked. "I have never doubted you will, my baby." And then she pulled me away from her arms to go into self communication. There is so much to do. I have to call my mu'allims and we will organize special du'a for this." Sophie and I exchanged looks. How had we almost forgotten mom was not upon the Sunnah? She was going to use their next Namsat Meeting to brag about her 'overachieved daughter.' "Sophia, can you hear me?" Mom jolted us back to reality.
"Yes Mom. But Amanah does not need your mu'allims now." Sophie's sarcasm elicited a laughter from my end and a frown from mom's. "You two never understand. This Islam, we have been practicing it long before you were born. Even if you become more religious than I am, I will always know more than you two."
I was not even trying to analyse the irony in that statement. It Never helped. Her 'Do-you-want-us-to-stop-doing-what-we-met-our-for-fathers-doing?' line doesn't even get to me anymore. It never helps to tell mom that virtually all the Prophets heard the same line from their people.
"Mom. What Amanah needs now are new Hijabs and transport allowance." Sophie continued. "And if you really have more money to spare afterwards, please pile them up and give them to me when I go back to school next week In Shaa Allah. Remember that hadith Amanah always quoted?" She looked at me for help and in unison, we said "Sadaqah to family is double reward. Keeping family ties and giving to the needy."
"Nonsense!" Mom said. You will not distract me with your side comments. All I am saying is that we need to be grateful to Allah." And zooming off into her solo conversation again, she said, "Hmm, Maman Zainab must hear this at the next Namsat meeting In shaa Allah. She thought only her children could make reputable employments. Ah! Amanah my daughter. For making me proud, may Allah bless you with Jannah. "Her excitement was completely contagious. She started to move toward the kitchen. "The Walimah will be huge. I need to plan this well. I think I will buy lace this time when I go to buy Amanah's new hijabs..." She kept talking as she walked away. Sophie just shook her head, patted my shoulder in silent consolation and walked away. Leaving me alone in the living room.
I would not let my mind wander about my nightmare. By now, I should be used to it. It came almost as frequent as I closed my eyes, but I just still wasn't. At least, my Insomnia was gone and I could sleep now. Whatever the situation right now, I was thrilled. Too thrilled to worry about anything else. My Dream job at last. First, I needed to offer two raka'at and glorify the name of my Lord.
According to the Caller, I will begin with their drafting department as a paid Intern for three months and then move into my chosen departments of Real Estate and Intellectual Property respectively afterwards In Shaa Allah.
Gingerly, I headed to my room to make wudu.' I needed to thank Allah for His endless bounties upon an ungrateful servant like myself.
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