"This really requires you to physically be there?" I mope as Jackson informs me that he'll be out of town in New York on business for a week.
Jackson lets out a heavy sigh, "Yes. Trust me, I'm not looking forward to being away from you for so long too." He pulls me into his arms and I hug him back tighter. "I will call you every morning and night though. I'm there for business and business alone."
I know he's trying to soothe me, trying to put my fears at ease but I still feel nervous.
"I'm really going to try, I promise, to not let my insecurities get the better of me." I really will try, I'll do it. I can do this. We've been dating now for two months and have been doing well. He cares for me, he won't hurt me.
I sigh, "Why does this feel so hard to handle?"
"Have you looked for a therapist yet?" He asks me.
I twirl my fingers in my hair, "I've called a few but they insisted that if they thought I would need medication that I should take it. So I'm still checking around." I let him know. I had only called two so far but I guess I should call some more.
"We will make it through this. Just remember, I do not want anyone else but you." Jackson comforts me before he looks at the time. He has me get off his lap and we stand.
"You want to go with me to the airport or be dropped off first?" Jackson asks, lifting his suitcase to take downstairs.
"I'd rather go with you." I mutter under my breath.
"Sorry, didn't catch that?"
"Before. I don't want your driver seeing me crying over a week long trip." I say before pulling him against me for one more long kiss before we head downstairs to the car.
Monday rolled over into Tuesday. Wednesday dragged slower than pitch through a funnel. Thursday was a test of my patience before Friday became like torture. Anna came into my office though around three looking shy.
"Melita? May I speak with you privately?" She looks hesitant.
"Yes, shut the door. What seems to be the problem, Anna?" I ask her, knowing my tone was clipped. I was in the middle of writing some of the other team members performance reviews and was trying to finish them.
"I was going to ask that of you." She gives me a concerned smile. "You've been rather harsh on everyone lately over the smallest mistake and I wanted to make sure you were alright."
"I..." I fiddle with my mouse and lower my gaze, "I have been rather harsh lately. I apologize for my incorrect handling of mistakes. I've just... been ... lonely lately. I'm looking forward to Sunday and it just can't get here fast enough."
Anna suppresses a smile. "Oh I see. Well why don't you do something to occupy your time till then? Maybe plan something special for when Sunday arrives? Then you can focus on that instead of how slow time seams to be going?"
"I don't know what I could do to occupy my focus until then though..." I groan, because what could I do for the man? I loved that picnic in the park but I can't copy his idea... I need to be original.
"Is there anything maybe that could make Sunday more interesting?" Anna gives me a knowing look, "You know like a special outfit you could shop for, food, or movie?"
I wrack my brain and try to think, he's been wanting to do bondage stuff... I could pick out some things I'd be willing to try and maybe an outfit? Maybe a toy?
"Thank you Anna. I think I've got an idea in mind. Thank you for letting me know. I will try to be more thoughtful of how I speak to everyone here. In fact, let's gather everyone for a quick word." I stand and let Anna lead me out to the where everyone's station is.
"Team!" I gather their attention, "I'd like everyone to know, it was brought to my attention that I have been lacking in the hospitable corrective leadership department as of the past week. I would like to apologize to every one for my poor responses. I'd also like to remind you, that everyone is allowed to approach me if another problem like this arises. I may be your boss, but my position just means that you respect my direction. It does not mean you can not approach me if I am providing a less hospitable work environment."
I scan the faces around the room and see some people are happy to hear that, while others shrug it off.
"Thank you, Ms. Xenos. We figured that something was upsetting you and knew you would not be that way forever." Alice says from her nearby cubicle.
I nod to Alice, "Okay, everyone back to work." I head back into my office and finish my work, while looking up on my phone sex stores to go to. When I leave work I take an uher to a sushi bar to eat something for dinner. I decide to go to a store nearby and get an uher to take me there.
As I walk up to the store front, I hesitate. I've never been in a store like this. This is for Jackson though. I want to have him come back and let him know how much I missed him.
I open the door, feeling flushed, and see that there's two employees and three other women and a guy in the store too. I know I blush harder, but I have to get something that will please Jackson and me too.
"Welcome, is there anything I can help you find today?" One of the employees approaches me but I shake my head.
"I would like to look around first." I inform her.
"Alright, I'll be nearby if you need me." She walks away and I catch the eyes of a thick, beautiful, dark-haired woman, eyeing me up and down like I was dessert.
I swallow hard and start looking what the store has out. There's so much. Where should I even start?
There's so many different sizes, colors, and shapes of dildos and vibrators, it's a little overwhelming. How in the world would something that big even fit in someone? I can't help but wonder looking at a giant blue dildo on display. I continue searching before I notice one of the other customers, a pretty, blonde woman that seems to be with the others is watching me.
I blush, "They sure do have a lot of options, don't they?" I let out an awkward laugh and keep my eyes on the wall of items.
"Yes, it's a little overwhelming isn't it?" She says kindly to me.
I nod and give her a small smile, "Yes, it is. I don't even know what I'm really needing." I shake my head at myself, asking my thoughts out loud, "How do I ask an employee that I need all the equipment for a naughty night to surprise my boyfriend?"
"Well, what is he into? Maybe I can help. I was interested in some of the more extreme enjoyments but had never experienced it till I met my now husband. I know what it's like to be in your shoes." She offers her help and I can't help but be shocked.
She wants to help me? I could use the help.
"Really? Thank you. I would greatly appreciate it. Um.. he's into" I lower my voice so I'm not overheard, "bondage. He said he wants to tie me up and restrain me while he ... well you know," I clear my throat and use his words, "fucks me like crazy." I can't believe I just told a complete stranger that! The heat is rising in my face and add, "I just don't want anything that will cut off my circulation or that if need be, I could get out of myself."
She gives me a calculative glance, "Do you not trust your boyfriend to do this?"
Oh gosh, I'm giving her the wrong impression, aren't I?
"No, I do. He's the only one I will ever trust to do this.. it's just.. some of the things I've experienced in life... cause me to react in ways that's not always pleasant and can ruin a good time." I inform her.
"Did you go through something traumatic?" The woman asks me and I nod, not wanting to explain anything.
She pulls out her wallet and hands me a business card.
"Here this is the best person to see about that. Everyone that's ever gone to him has nothing but great things to say. In fact, my friend, the one with the black hair, used to have problems with being in a relationship. She's married and has a baby now. Maybe, he can help."
I grimace, not wanting to offend her for offering someone up to help me. "I don't know... I am not a fan of doctors and do not want to take medication."
Her smile is warm and understanding as she puts her wallet away. "You don't have to worry about that. He doesn't prescribe medication unless all other techniques to try and help fail. Plus, he wouldn't ever prescribe them to someone who doesn't want to take them."
She knows a lot about this guy, does she know him and see him maybe? "You seem to know his practices very well."
"I should," she laughs, "he's my husband." She pats my arm and motions to the card.
"Put it in your purse, just give it some thought. Now, I think I know of a few options that would be right for you."
She starts showing me some restraints and lets me know which ones are comfortable and which ones can be used for a longer period of time than the others. She starts showing me some of her toys she's used and that I'd have to try some out and see what works for me. That I should pick out a few and see what I like.
She's been so helpful. "Thank you so much.." My voice fades as I was about to call her by her name, but I don't know it. I never asked for her name, "I'm sorry, I just realized we never introduced ourselves. I'm Melita."
"I'm glad I could help, Melita, I'm Sarina." Her blue eyes light up at me as we shake hands.
"And I'm Lirael..." The dark haired woman from earlier purrs over Sarina's shoulder at me.
This woman has beautiful green eyes and looks like she wants to eat me in the naughtiest way possible. I picture it for a second and found it intriguing. Oh my goodness, did I really just picture that?
Heat floods my face as another woman comes up and bumps her hip into the dark haired woman's rear lightly.
"Pay her no mind, I'm Alyssa." The new woman says with a welcoming smile.
The man comes over and wraps his arms around all three of the women, "And I'm Simon." making them give little cries of protest. He releases them and adds, "You're cute. Want to come have fun with us? We're going to the club after this!" Simon starts making beat box dance music and dancing, flicking his eyes at me.
To a dance club?
"Oh... I don't know... I've never really been to a..." I stop, these people look like a lot of fun and Anna said I should go out. "You know what. Sure I'll go. Why the hell not?" I giggle.
"Great!" Simon exclaims, "Well ladies, let's complete our purrr-chases and go watch some dancing!"
Dancing? I glance down at my outfit, "Is this outfit going to make me stick out?"
Alyssa pffts, "Hell yes, but trust me where we are going it's a good thing!" She heads up to the register with a box of her own and I follow along.
"Where are we going exactly?"