A tense silence filled the room at the vixen's words, Sue's shaking eyes going wider as she tried to chew through that revelation, a half whispered question leaving her shortly afterwards-
"Do you mean... l-like me?"
There was a brief flash of confusion in Sundance's expression, one that was dashed shortly afterwards thankfully, the fiery mystic firmly shaking her head as she clarified-
"No, not in the same way as you Sue, she's from this world, her clan is just a long trek away. Sorry for confusing you like that."
A conflicting mixture of emotions filled the once human at the elaboration, part of her glad that nobody else had to have been subjected to the same sudden dimensional shift as she had, but at the same time, if someone else indeed had, maybe they would've had a better idea of how to get back home- or at least be able to empathize with her more. Even with that in mind, she was no less curious about what Sundance had mentioned, affirming her words with a nod as she listened in further, wanting nothing more than to finally get to the bottom of all this.
"I see. H-how far away?"
"Approximately a week's march in a straight line, I think. It's not something she's been keen on finding out for herself though, going back there even briefly is something she'd rather never have to do ever again."
Sue was about to ask why before biting her lip, the apparent contradiction between what she knew of Solstice and what Sundance's words implied about where she hailed from giving her a pause.
"Is it because of shomething they did?"
"Worse- because of what they are."
Sundance took a deep sigh, followed by an even deeper hit of her pipe as she leaned back in her chair, sorting through her thoughts and memories once more. The Forest Guardian could sense flashes of anger bubbling from deep within her mind, briefly manifesting as her paws clenching on their own before being forcibly relaxed again, the mystic's composure straining but ultimately holding as she began to weave her tale.
"Her clan, on the surface at least, had a much similar ambition to that of Willow's clan. Bring healing to those who need it, and honor the Pale Lady through their deeds. And if it had stopped at that, then maybe they could've been said to be a force for good even. But they didn't- they didn't think themselves mere worshipers of the Moon, they thought themselves her emissaries, the closest thing to her incarnation in flesh, and as such, that their will was divinely guided too."
The mention of 'emissaries' made Sue think back to Basil, understanding filling her expression prompting a slow, affirmative nod from her mentor.
"That belief didn't come from nowhere, after all. And even though they have been scarcely expanding, their rotten ideology and beliefs had spread much further than their physical presence, even here. It sure helped that as opposed to Willow's kin, the Forest Guardians are far, far from unarmed, even if both you and Solstice are terrible examples of that."
Part of the once human felt like she ought to be offended at that in some way, but wasn't sure how or why, shaking that thread off and reflecting on what she already seen Solstice do even during the brief time they've known each other. She had her whole body lifted off the ground without the other Forest Guardian having to put in any real effort, she had her mind tampered with to calm her down and put her unconscious, she had her thoughts read- and none of those were even the flashy things she'd seen quite a few creatures be capable of here. Hell, she herself hurt the dangerous looking bee villager rather painfully judging from his reaction, and it was completely on accident, while being as weak and inexperienced as she was- who knew how harmful an actual deliberate attack like that would've been by someone who knew what they were doing.
Sue wasn't sure whether she wanted to know, cold dread running down her back at the awareness that once she were to get more practiced at this she would be potentially capable of maiming, maybe even killing other beings with just her thoughts. And to put that kind of power in the hands of a group that thought itself divinely guided... Something deep inside Sue shuddered at that, darker recesses of her memory dredging up some overheard ideas from one history lesson or another, this kind of rhetoric never one to end well in any circumstances, the newly turned Forest Guardian feeling her heart rate spike as it all took a more sinister turn.
"Of course-"
Sundance let out a bitter chuckle, slightly shaking her head.
"-they believe themselves to be kind rulers. And indeed, they do offer their healing arts to those who come- as long as they pledge their worship of the Pale Lady, make an... 'offering', and aren't the 'wrong' kind of creature. One who's compliance they couldn't guarantee the hard way because of a natural immunity to their psychics."
Sue's thoughts veered back to Pollux after Spark had dragged her over to meet her friends at last, the human muttering out-
"Th-those of night..."
"Correct. Contrary to what that immunity might imply, Forest Guardians are hardly defenseless against them- Moon's pale light can drive away the dark just as well as any sunlight- but their thoughts and minds would forever remain off limits to prying eyes. And there's nothing people as controlling as Solstice's clan despise more than someone they can't control- casting them aside and declaring them profane for allying themselves with Pale Lady's so called enemy in Night Father made sure they wouldn't be welcome anywhere, and even if someone did extend their hospitality towards them... consequences would be in order."
An unspoken 'oh no' left Sue's lips as she was left to process that revelation, a cold shudder going down her spine at recalling Willow's reaction to her broaching that subject up. Though- it's not like Solstice's clan had any actual influence here, at least not one she could see, and it's not like the mayor brought that kind of thinking with herself either.
"And those ideas reached as far as here?"
Sundance nodded deeply, none too happy with that state of things either.
"Ideas can spread like wildfire, especially when they appeal to our worst, basest impulses. It would be both foolish and wrong to attribute all the dislike and distrust towards the night kin to the words Solstice's clan spread- the fertile fear of those different, fear of the night, fear of defenselessness were all already there, as was the underlying demonization of the Night Father here and there, but their beliefs fed on them, grew ever stronger, ever more potent. Those who gave into fear bought into them whole, those who didn't knew that all they needed to control the first group was to have enemies for them to rally against. I've seen it so many times, again and again, not just with the night kin, and it is just as terrifyingly effective each and every time."
The once human didn't even have to think far to find the places where this was all the more applicable, the sheer effortlessness with which the priest at the local church was able to whip his flock into a frenzy at the mention of their enemies weird and confounding in the moment- and utterly terrifying in hindsight. Her mind raced on as the picture slowly started coming together bit by bit, one she didn't like the look of even slightly.
"Wh-what about Solstice then?"
The vixen nodded deeply, gathering her thoughts and giving Sue a moment to collect herself again, nervous body attempting to lean back on her seat, the sensation no less comforting this time, and appreciated even more if anything, giving her a well needed moment of reprieve from the grim truth being spoken. Her shaking hand thanked the heavens for the cup of her host's concoction being already mostly empty by then, lest she would end up spilling the sticky brew all over herself and the floor.
"I suppose it's only fair to ask, in light of all that, how come the Solstice we know is so different. And... the answers aren't anything extraordinary really- she isn't some uniquely good and kind soul, she merely got to witness the results of the injustice her clan caused and it was enough to make her start doubting it all. Her father isn't a Forest Guardian- his kin isn't even all too different deep down, psychic all the same even if he looks notably different. Regardless of how different or not he was though, not being a Forest Guardian meant that he was still inherently lesser- not by much on account of being overall not too different, and still begrudgingly accepted as part of the tribe, but lesser all the same. And so was Solstice on account of being "impure" like that."
She paused for a moment, some more of her earlier anger seething out ever so slightly at the thought of her best friend having been treated that way, but it didn't last long.
"That, combined with her having been on friendly terms with one older mystic that lived nearby, that told her that the Night Mother and Night Father have not always been in conflict with each other, made her doubts about her clan's beliefs grow more and more. And each incident of some creature being spurned, taunted, or worse yet denied help because of how 'lesser' they were or because of how they had nothing to give in return cemented her newly formed resolve further, to get out of there and do what she could to make things right. And once she evolved, received her medical teachings and her blessings... she did."
Sue couldn't help but imagine a younger Solstice sneaking away in the middle of the night, not leaving as much as a goodbye note in her wake, anything to get away, feeling herself grow more and more invested in the story being told, nodding in focus for Sundance to continue.
"She arrived here a few years before I would end up settling here for good. Of course, her kinship gathered her no small amount of reverence, one that she tried her hardest to squash each time, though it's been a limited success at best. Her knowledge of healing arts earned respect, even from Willow's kin, and they would end up exchanging no small amount of lessons with each other. Even that aside, she was much the same person you know, it's little wonder that she was liked and eventually joined the elders' council. And once there, she did her best to undo as many of the effects of the terrible teachings her clan had spread as she could."
That did very much sound like the Solstice she knew, an ember of second hand joy lighting up inside Sue at hearing about the other Forest Guardian's past actions- but one that was at best a very uneven, flickering one. She might not have known how or when that tale would end up taking a darker turn, but she knew it would eventually, the growing trepidation starting to coil itself around her mind.
"Was she successful?"
"To an extent, yes. Wretched as her clan could be, Solstice herself tried to be as much of a force for good as she could, especially when it came to opening the figurative gates for the night kin to come and live here too. They weren't forbidden from settling here in any official capacity before, but... they certainly weren't going to be accepted with open hands or anything. She managed to change that, pushed back against the interpretation of Pale Lady's worship that denigrated those of night as an evil force, and given her kinship, most believed her more than they would believe anyone else in that regard, outwardly at least. And sure enough, once they made it clear they would truly accept whoever came, no matter their form, night kin began to show up as well."
The human had to do a double take at that, her mentor's revelation combined with the plainly different reality surrounding her only throwing more fuel for the dark flames of worry that were already eating her mind, the overarching question of what the hell happened crystallizing in her mind by the moment.
"Hard to imagine th-that nowadays..."
"Indeed."
Sundance's response felt cold, regretful, the firefox taking a deep breath and explaining on-
"Much as some were put off by them at the start, familiarity and exposure is an anathema to prejudice like that, and the relations did warm up more and more over time. Eventually, when the old altar was being rebuilt, they added another tablet depicting the Night Father, him and Pale Lady now standing side by side, regardless of how much some weren't happy with that change. Most didn't care enough one way or another to be strongly opposed, especially with Solstice around. Those that did mostly rallied around Root, the spiritual leader of this place up until Solstice's arrival. Suffice to say he was much less accepting of either the night kin or the idea to include the Night Father in their altar than most, and as loudly and as often as he had vocalized his disagreement with that idea, disgust even, he would always end up being outvoted, especially by then once it was clear that the night kin's presence in the village wasn't dooming anyone."
There's always gotta be one...
The human nodded in acknowledgment, tension growing in the air by the moment as the mystic continued, beginning to seemingly even get to Sundance herself, one paw shifting to hold the armrest of the chair tightly.
"Things... really seemed to be going well. We kept growing, people of all kin kept coming, it really seemed like Solstice's aspiration had worked out, she had fought against and defeated her clan's vicious teachings. She even took a night kin as her mate, and had a child with him."
Sue was almost startled by these news, trying to keep her mind from steering too far off into a land of speculation, though one name she could recall in particular crept back to her mind, as did a cold chill of dread at the implication.
"Aurora..."
"Indeed. She was a wonderful kid. So bright, so curious, she wanted to do all the things, learn everything, meet everyone, the whole world was much too small for her at times it felt like. Her own psychics came as a struggle much of the time, to the point that Solstice had told me that had she hatched back at her clan, she wasn't sure what they would do with Aurora, whether they would've even let her live after a certain point."
Was...
The sinking pit that had been forming inside Sue for a good while now had grown tenfold at hearing that, the Forest Guardian unable to resist asking the question at the root of it all anymore, her voice little more than a hoarse, wavering whisper, cracking as she spoke-
"What h-hap-happened to her?"
For once, it wasn't latent anger that the once student felt emanate from her mentor, but fear. Old fear, fear thought buried, fear, shame, and associated muck, all threatening to begin building up more and more inside of the vixen, Sundance thankfully self cognizant enough to keep herself in check before she answered, her own voice similarly pitiful, so uncharacteristic of her-
"The plague."
The words and their implication chilled Sue to the very core, mind already trying to race ahead and imagine just what might have exactly happened, only being successfully held in check by how scary every single thread it attempted to dive in quickly became. The vixen could tell, pushing herself on to tell the rest of the tale- her guest needed to know, even if she wanted nothing more than to be able to forget at times.
"It came without warning, its source unknown. It ravaged through the village, scarring our bodies and minds alike, stealing our breath and leaving burning pain behind. We all tried what we could to cure it, but all we could do was alleviate some of the symptoms and pray it would subside on its own. It was arduous, but for the most part, not lethal- at least for adults. The little ones..."
Even the briefest thoughts back to that time period brought with them more anguish than even Sundance was equipped to handle, the pipe dropping onto her lap as she reached up with one paw, clasping her head and forcibly Calming her Mind. The unnatural coldness that filled it afterwards was unpleasant, but it sure beat the alternative, the vixen internally thanking whichever gods were watching for Spark not having been around yet.
Sue didn't have that ability, mind tying itself into knots as tears started to flow down her cheek, even brief attempts to imagine how it must've felt for those affected threatening to shatter her heart into a thousand pieces.
"Everyone lost someone, be it their family or their friends. Solstice..."
Calmed as it was, even with that handicap the vixen's mind was thrashing thinking back to her friend especially, the sheer pain she felt, both her own and everyone else's, sum total of it all too terrible to even try to comprehend- and all to real for Solstice nonetheless.
"She stayed by Aurora's s-side as she died. Alone. I was t-too sickly to leave my dwelling, and her husband, Jasper... I know him. He is a kind, sensitive soul. But it was all too much for him. His own despair drove him away, he couldn't bear to witness it himself, especially after everyone knew that there was no saving his daughter. It's understandable... and at the same time, it resulted in Solstice having to bear the brunt of it all alone, holding her daughter as she took her final breath."
The once human's mind struggled to even process, much less comprehend Solstice's- she remembered how protective she felt towards Spark and Pollux when they were being chased, how she put her whole life at stake to save them. To even imagine the torment of holding her own child, wanting nothing more from the bottom of her very being than to save her, protect her from the sickness ravaging her, and to be completely unable to do anything, with nobody there for her at her lowest...
For a while, she could only weep, this body's overactive empathy making it hard not to feel for everyone who had to experience that, everyone who lost someone, everyone who was lost. The once student took a couple bitter minutes to even begin wrangling herself back into some sort of a shape, fear gripping her once more as she realized from Sundance's expression that not even this was the end of it all, that there was still more.
"There was... one more thing. One twist of fate, th-that in any other world would've been cherished, but... not in this one. Not here. Not then."
Sue braced herself, teary eyes going wide as her mentor spoke, the revelation as straightforward in the moment as its repercussions were harrowing-
"The night kin were immune."
The vixen paused for a while to let the impact of that fact settle, the once human growing more and more disturbed as she tried to imagine how the people that already scarcely trusted them would react to that fact, the mental imagery she came up with harrowing.
"Were they ran o-out of the village?"
"Not as bluntly as that, but... pretty much. The paranoia's grip was inescapable, even those I trusted to know better got swayed by the return of all the fear-mongering, even I felt its cold grip on my mind a good few times in the aftermath of it all. It culminated in a vote being held as to whether to exile the night kin for good."
While Sue continued to be gripped by it, the despair that had been present in the vixen's mind quickly evaporated, that recollection in particular only bringing forth ceaseless rage every time she thought back to it, anger at her own fellow people for being swayed so easily by panic, but especially fury towards those who had manipulated them like that. She gripped the wooden handle of her chair as hard as she could, the action combined with the forced grip on her own mind keeping her from exploding there and then- but only barely.
"After Aurora's passing... Jasper was paralyzed with shame. Shame at leaving his wife and daughter on their own like that, when they needed him the most. Shame that only fueled itself more and more after it resulted in him not even being able to bring himself to come back and face his wife after all that. Shame that resulted in Solstice feeling even more alone, her whole self completely shattered, with nobody around to comfort her. Nobody but Root."
Sue gasped quietly, seeing where this was going, pleading deep down that it would not end up being what had actually happened, but Sundance's somberness provided little hope.
"She was at her absolute lowest, barely a person, so utterly consumed by loss that she would listen to the devil even if it meant getting even the slightest reprieve from it all. And when the time came... her vote was the deciding one. Between his influence, hurt at her own husband not being there for her, and a moment of vicious weakness, she voted for exile. Solstice, the champion of the night kin's cause, the one who had opened the village's gates for them, had now closed them once more."
The hut was absolutely silent aside from the vixen taking a deep breath before she continued-
"They felt betrayed. They were betrayed. They didn't fight that verdict, perhaps some of them knew deep down that it all wasn't going to work out in the end, but their grudge towards Solstice was clear to see. Jasper... took it the worst. Blamed it all on himself, I remember him pleading with me, but I had no power there. I stepped down from the elders' council afterwards. Solstice... felt betrayed too, by herself. It didn't take long for the sheer impact of what she'd just done to begin sinking in."
Shakily, Sundance picked her pipe up again, steeling herself before taking a deeper hit, her own body language withdrawing some more.
"It didn't take long for everyone else to follow, for them to realize what they had done. Their neighbours, their friends... gone, driven out. Some tried to rationalize it afterwards, psych themselves into truly believing that it was the night kin that had brought in the plague, anything to avoid facing the responsibility for their actions, and the guilt they carried. Guilt and shame."
Sue thought back to the glimpse of her mentor she'd caught before she was forced out of her tent, the shame Solstice emanated in her breakdown making all the more sense all of a sudden.
"It is such a caustic, destructive force. How it forever feeds into itself, makes it impossible to ever right one's wrongs even if that very same action is the only thing that can drive it away. Ask almost anyone who'd voted towards exile on that fateful day, drill them past any feeble justifications they'll use to maintain their composure, and they'll break down and admit that they've made a mistake. A mistake none of them will do anything to try to mend, because of how much even thinking of doing that hurts. All this goes... so much more for Solstice especially. I kept trying to bring it up, every so often, but every time all that accomplished was making her break down, making her relive it all, her every loss and mistake. So I stopped."
The human kept waiting for a while for the vixen to continue- but after a few longer moments, it became clear that this was where the recollection ended, for now at least, Sue's glance slowly creeping up from the circle of light on the floor to her host, questions and a sapling of an idea sprouting under her skullcap-
"Th-that's all... I don't have words."
"There really aren't any, are there."
"Wh-what happened to the night khin?"
"They have their own settlement, not even all that far from here. Everyone knows about it, we aren't forbidden there, and yet... shame, shame again. Makes it impossible to even face the consequences of your own actions, for most at least. I come to visit sometimes. It's a quiet place. Much more barren than here, but lovely in its own way. They try to make do."
"Most?"
Sundance nodded, sighing deeply.
"I know Snowdrop is seeing someone from there. And before you ask, no, I don't know why she's looking for another partner here on top of that. Could be being afraid that the relationship she has there won't ever be able to work out. Could just be wanting to share love with more than one soul- not our place to judge. I know that... Solstice and Jasper meet up too, sometimes. They don't talk much, if at all. None of those are anywhere near as much of a secret as they wish they were- people find out fast, this place isn't that big after all. Everyone knows that everyone else doesn't really care about the exile and the terrible things being ascribed to the night kin anymore- and yet, here we are."
"How long ago was that?"
"Closing in on five years now. Spark was still in her egg when it happened, thank the heavens."
So much of the former human wanted to ask about the so casually mentioned egg- the word making her do a physical double take- but she knew that it wasn't the right time for it, instead shaking it off and continuing with her questions-
"Spark's friend, Pollux... he's from the n-night kin village, right?"
"Indeed. I know he comes over sometimes, as well as he can hide it's still easy to spot him out at times. The divide between our villages is such an arbitrary one in the end, a line in the sand that the little ones won't- ought not to pay any attention to. At times it feels like it's the only way to begin slowly mending it all..."
Sundance sighed deeply, Sue picking up the thread shortly afterwards-
"Guess that's why they were outshide the village when that shpider found them..."
The mention of the events of her first day her startled Sundance to an uncharacteristic degree, much of the vixen's calm demeanor suddenly coming undone as she asked hurriedly, leaning forward-
"Wh-what do you mean?"
Sue was taken aback by the abruptness of her mentor's reaction, stammer intensifying as she retold what she'd seen-
"Spark and P-Pollux were together when they ran into me and I-I distracted the spider..."
Sundance was aghast at hearing the news, Sue's fear growing at watching her react like that, worried she'd somehow said something she really shouldn't have, only able to sit in place as she felt the vixen's own worry grow more and more- and then felt it slowly turn to anger, not at her, not at anyone in specific except for herself. The mystic simmered in place for a while, deeper breaths sending a dusting of sparks out through her nose and ears, her own fury aimed inward, and no less vicious as a result of that.
"I-I should've realized. A-a part of me hoped that it was anything else but this, some other freak accident... but I was just fooling myself, wasn't I. As much as I think myself above that, I keep doing that. Clinging to whatever remote possibility that will let me rest the easiest, just to not have to face the facts..."
She sat in silence for a while longer, a quiet grumble leaving the vixen before she continued-
"No. It can't continue like that. I let it go on for too long, I... it- it has to stop. I can't risk Spark getting in danger like that again, I..."
Sundance trailed off for a while, some of the inward anger replaced with grief, grief at failing to make the world safer for her little one through her own inaction. In front of her, Sue was struggling though it all herself, wondering what to even do in the face of it all, feeling so utterly helpless to help in any way- for a while at least, one idea eventually coming to mind, one she felt she had to at least try. She wouldn't be able to mend the wound between these two peoples no- but she could try her best to comfort at least one person. As she kept chewing through how she would accomplish that, an unexpected sound caught her attention, attention snapping back to the vixen only to see her... chuckle slowly.
"I guess I'm truly no better. Much as I keep holding it all against her, it had to be my own flesh and blood for me to even start considering any action towards resolving this injustice again. Maybe I should've kept pressing her harder all along. Maybe I should've not even cared about what she says and just tried to do what I could to fix it all on my own. Maybe if I had just pushed myself through the pain over to her tent on that fateful day, the suffering of so many more would've been averted."
She paused for a moment more, a couple stray tears forcing their way past the firefox's eyelids before she spoke in resignation-
"I wish I had half the answers I give the impression of having at times."
Truthfully, Sue wasn't sure what to say to that, having no idea what advice she could feasibly give after hearing an abridged version of the story to someone who had to endure it all firsthand, instead only offering understanding, nodding slowly with a weak, uncertain expression, before attempting to bounce back some of Sundance's own intent from earlier-
"Th-that's undershtandable. Even if you've made a mishtake by letting it fester, doesn't mean you have to let it continue."
The vixen closed her eyes and slowly nodded, expression twisting briefly as she faced her own partial responsibility in all this, shame never easy to face even if she knew how irrational it was, the resulting mental struggle as intense as it was brief. Her eyes opened with a louder grunt, a serious expression and a determined nod making it clear what her plan now was.
"You're right. Thank you Sue. I'll... need to figure out how to go about all this, after all this time. It will be messy, but... I owe it to Spark. I owe it to Solstice, I owe it to everyone- something has to be done."
Her newfound determination spread over to Sue, the once human already having her own plan after all this, downing the remainder of the concoction with one shaky gulp and responding-
"Best of luck. I'll- I'll leave you to it, but first I have to know- where is Solstice?"
Sundance looked briefly taken aback at that, shaking her head a bit.
"Don't worry Sue, I'll handle talking with her, you shouldn't put this burden on yourself-"
"That's not what I want t-to talk to her about."
Sue's response was pointed and steadfast, surprisingly so considering her guest's usually timid nature, the vixen pondering on that for a moment before slowly nodding.
"I see. Well, I can't read her mind from here, but... if I know her at all, she'll be at the cemetery, praying."
"Th-the cemetery? Where's-"
A moment of pondering had Sue realize that she knew where it was, thinking back, all the way back to where she first met the mayor, the decorated stones filling that small clearing suddenly making sense as headstones of some sort. It would be a fair walk away, but... if there was any point where she was ready to take that head on, it was here and now, with the approximate nine espresso's worth of caffeine circulating in her system fueling her determination further.
"I think you've figured it out by now. I won't hold you back, unless you want me to help with the stairs or escort you over."
"No, no, I'll be fine. I-I can do this."
Sue's arms trembled as she picked up the crutch again, some of the leftover strain stinging as she pushed herself back onto her legs, but the drive inside her body made her overlook all of it, staggered steps quickly evening out.
"Godspeed Sue. Just remember- you didn't cause any of this. You aren't responsible for any of this."
Sundance's remark made the girl pause briefly, the free hand leaning on the door way after opening the door, Sue taking a couple last breaths and responding-
"I-I know."
-before speeding on, descending down the large flight of stairs without any trouble and bolting on, leaving the mystic behind to mull through her thoughts on her own.
__________________________________________
The once human wasn't sure to what extent it was the absurd amount of caffeine in her system as opposed to the sense of duty and responsibility she felt that was driving her on. Regardless of the exact ratio between these two influences, they combined for an intense hyperfocus that had her hobbling forward faster than she ever walked anywhere, paying no mind to her body's painful reactions to the sudden effort. It certainly made for an eyecatching, rather dumbfounding sight- most other villagers had already gotten used to the sight of a second Forest Guardian in their midst, one significantly younger in both appearance and behaviour, but to see her do the closest thing possible to sprinting while helping herself with a crutch was something else entirely, catching their attention.
She could tell of course, the emotional rollercoaster she'd just been through turning the ordinarily rather neutral sensation of focus being placed onto her into something unpleasant, nerve inducing even, feeding further into her preexisting anxieties about becoming the center of attention- but she wouldn't let that stop her, biting her lip and trying to tune these feelings out to the furthest extent she could without using her arms to maintain balance.
In a span of just a couple days, the magical animal wonderland town had turned into something mundane enough for her to be able to map out, subconsciously remembered landmarks steering her towards the clearing, including passing by Willow's hut on her way there. She wasn't gonna give it a second glance, but a cry calling out from behind her decided for her, Sue only barely managing to brake in time to be able to look behind herself at its source.
Willow was waving towards her with a confounded expression that hid a lot more worrying underneath, the glowing bedsheet covered stranger she ran into earlier also peeking out from the front door of their hut, the white cover getting lifted a bit and a short, black tentacle-looking limb joining in on the waving shortly afterwards. Confusing as that latter sight was, Sue couldn't let it distract her from her current task, shaking her head towards the couple of weirdlings and heading out with a response only she understood-
"Later!"
They deserved more of an explanation, yes- and if she had the time to stop and explain everything going on to them she likely even would have, but alas, as energized as she felt herself being right now, she had an awareness deep down that she was essentially running on borrowed time, especially with her earlier exhaustion, and stopping now would cut into it. Crashing after an overnight cramming session and then being barely awake in time for the actual exam was a sensation she was acutely familiar with, and regardless of how unpleasant it was, it happening on the long stretch of path connecting the village to its cemetery would be much, much worse.
The medic's worry only grew at seeing her beginning to shamble away with only a single word response, her sixth sense feeling them even trying to follow her for a short while before Willow realized they weren't gonna persuade her to stop- or even catch up to her for that matter. In a few short moments she was back at the clearing, scanning the treeline surrounding it for the path she had taken the previous day and gunning for it. Poppy's call not too far from where she went unacknowledged, Sue's tunnel vision narrowing down further and further the closer she got to her destination.
After growing so used to sensing all the minds surrounding them, the near complete silence she felt in the middle of that well worn path was slightly unnerving- as loud as the village was to her sixth sense, it also meant that she wasn't alone, and that if anything had happened to her there, someone would no doubt help her out- something she couldn't guarantee here. Who knows- maybe she had already missed her chance and Solstice was already gone from the cemetery, leaving her having to shamble back to the village on her own, likely completely exhausted at that point, with nobody to even watch over her.
And to think she was seriously considering running away from all this just a day earlier, hah. True, the only other alternative option she could see at the time was death, but hindsight sure didn't paint her thought process in a good light, not one bit.
Thankfully, Sue's worries about her missing the person she was looking for would end up being just that, a distant feeling of sadness growing closer and closer with every step, far from pleasant even if much less overwhelming than it had been immediately after her breakdown. The desire to comfort her mentor only made the younger Forest Guardian push herself harder to make it through that last half mile or so.
The memory of her first running into Solstice was one that would likely remain burned into Sue's mind forever, how poised and calm she looked- such a far cry from her current state that it took the human aback once she cleared the final corner and faced the entrance to the small clearing. The mayor was slumped forward and to the side, her pose looking less like she sat down in front of the silvery sapling and more so like she just collapsed there and hadn't moved afterwards, hands clasped together as her whole body shook- and then stopped at finally sensing her student's arrival.
Solstice's glance over her shoulder was no less miserable to look at than the one from before Sue had been forced out of her tent, her sadness starting to spoil into shame as she leaned just that bit further away from the arrival, her mental voice pathetically quiet-
"I-I'm sorry Sue, I-I-"
"Shundance told me everything."
The older Forest Guardian froze upon hearing that, staring Sue down with one eye as the once human slumped forward and caught her breath. Her whole body screamed in soreness as she took the last few remaining steps into the cemetery, honing in on one of the benches shortly after. She watched Solstice take a deeper breath afterwards, lightly nodding at nobody in particular.
"E-everything?"
"About Aurora. About the night kin. About... your clan."
Each of these revelations made her mentor visibly wince before trying to cover it up with a more firm nod, shuddering in place, left unsure how to respond to all that.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
The final addition hurt her especially much, Solstice curling forward as if struck, her tears glistening in the afternoon light as she began to sob loudly, her student only able to watch. Initially at least, the older Forest Guardian eventually finding enough strength to pick herself back up onto her legs and shamble over to the bench Sue sat at. The once human wasted no time before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in the moment she sat herself down, her tears growing even more bitter at her student's compassion.
For a good while they sat without exchanging words, Solstice knowing better at this point than to do anything but let it all flow freely- while also being disappointed in herself at even needing to do that anymore, her pain and tears starting to subside eventually, Sue holding strong all the while, as she did in the past. Eventually, there was only heavy, lingering silence, the student's green hand gently stroking her mentor's side as they both sat, at a loss of words, for what felt like forever.
"I... I th-thought I had gotten over it."
Sue nodded in response to Solstice's whisper, her one armed embrace tightening and starting to itself waver slightly, the younger Forest Guardian swallowing painfully before replying-
"I-I don't think th-that's something you ever really, fully get over."
The older Forest Guardian didn't respond immediately, slowly hunching her head forward, trying desperately to keep her own breathing stable.
"You think?"
"Yeah."
"I-it was going so well... i-it felt like I had made my peace with it all. L-like I have finally moved on."
"And then I showed up?"
Solstice was slightly startled at these words, tilting her head to look up at her student, about to respond with something before starting to reconsider, her gaze trailing off into the middle distance and beginning to shake once more, eyes clenching shut shortly afterwards, few more bitter tears flowing down her cheeks. Sue continued to hold her close all the while, her crutch arm getting over its own soreness to try gently stroking the older Forest Guardian's head, sending a light jolt through them both at the touch, before eventually calming back down and accepting the affection.
"She... she would've been your age."
The bitterly admitted truth made Sue pause briefly, wanting to say something to that before realizing she had no idea just what she could say. It truly felt like there were no words, at least not in the moment, the student eventually just accepting the fact with a slow nod of her own, holding her mentor all the while.
"It's not your fault."
"I know."
As obvious as the reassurance was, it helped Solstice regain her composure that much sooner, her breath beginning to slowly steady out.
"I-I just don't know why it hit me as hard there as it did."
"False hope by something subconscious, deep inside, maybe. M-maybe you never really finished grieving for her."
"I thought I have. Though... maybe not. Not too long after, I-I had to pick myself together and... keep going. Despite my loss, despite everyone else's loss, despite-"
The sting of shame from inside Solstice was especially potent this time, making even Sue wince by proximity as she held the distraught mother closer, her past sins weighing heavily on her. Whether deservedly or not was not for Sue to decide- all she knew was that right now, her mentor needed the reassurance more than anything else.
"Sounds like you didn't really have that thime then."
"Maybe not."
Solstice shuddered as she took in a deeper breath, the younger Forest Guardian holding her as close as she could manage, trying desperately to keep her own emotions in control.
"I don't know if I could even. After all-"
"-the world doesn't wait for us."
The older Forest Guardian let out a quiet gasp as she looked back up at Sue, the once human's gaze focused on the memorial treeling, expression stoic even as a handful of stray tears began wetting her cheeks again.
"Even if it feels like we've lost a part of ourselves, like we'll never be whole again... we have to keep moving on, pretending we're fine. Faking it until it stops hurting all the time, hoping we'll manage to get over it, get over ourselves, because nobody will wait for us."
Sue's arm began to waver as she held Solstice close, some of her own pain managing to crack through her composed facade, body leaning forward and eyes clenching shut as she thought back, way back, the older Forest Guardian following her train of thought along, until it reached the only possible destination, watching along as her pupil relived it all.
__________________________________________
"♪Ain't no sunshine when she's gone~♪"
A gentle campfire lit the clearing up, its flames growing dimmer and dimmer by the moment as it chewed through the remainder of its fuel, the pile of drywood gathered beforehand reduced to a handful of assorted twigs by now- though nobody around could really be said to mind, especially with the pack of marshmallows they had brought with themselves having long since been pilfered. As dim as most of the sky was on account of creeping clouds, the moon itself and a small swatch near it remained clear. The celestial body was only a handful of days away from the next full moon and made all the more breathtaking by the family being able to witness it away from the town for once.
"♪Only darkness every day~♪"
Neither the three voices nor the gentle guitar twangs that contributed to the song being sung could be said to be particularly on key, the instrument in particular needing to be tuned badly- but neither of the people cared, singing on as they wrapped up a particularly fun, eventful day. The youngest member enjoyed herself in particular, putting in as much of herself into the campfire song as she could in her exhaustion, rocking to the sides as she overenunciated every note, pigtails waving and legs swinging under the bench all the while.
"♪Ain't no sunshine when she's gone~♪"
To her right, she was flanked by the person playing the guitar, a woman with a similar face and a similarly joyous expression, shoulder length hair sliding around as she bounced to the tune together with her daughter without a care in the world. The gathering was completed by a man on the next bench over, his scruffy and unshaven look giving off a casual, welcoming vibe, no doubt helped by a tie dyed shirt a couple sizes too big.
"♪And this house just ain't no home~♪"
The long pointy sticks they had used to roast marshmallows were lying off to the side, as were a handful of toys they brought with themselves- a partially mud caked frisbee, a slightly less dirty beach ball, an action figure of a main character from a popular cartoon little Sue had always brought with herself whenever she went to play but never quite had enough spare time to actually play with.
"♪Ain't no sunshine when she's gone♪"
With a final chord, the song ended, the kiddo left giddy, immediately speaking up to ask-
"Can we do another one!?"
Her parents couldn't hold in a smile as they glanced at each other and then at the fire, dad responding in a tongue in cheek way-
"I don't know Sue, can we?"
"Pleeeeeeaase!"
Her pleading tone of voice made Sue's mom finally cave in, louder giggles leaving her as she reached over to ruffle her daughter's hair, laughter spreading over to the little one instantaneously.
"Well~ I think we could squeeze one more in. So- what will it be?"
"We should be the ones asking you that, Mrs. Gold Award scout~"
She couldn't resist rolling her eyes and sticking her tongue out at her husband at that, her lover returning the gesture right away, their daughter in particular finding the exchange especially amusing even without knowing the full context. Once she had gotten over her own laughter though, Sue didn't waste time before proposing something herself-
"The houshe of the rising sun!"
"Again~?"
"Yeah!"
"Okie, we can go through that one again~! Just lemme remember how that one starte- eek!"
Sue's mom jumped in her seat all of a sudden, a sharp glance upward revealing a source of her startle, though in a few short moments everyone else could feel it too.
"Welp, seems the rain had other plans! High time to get back home eh?"
"Sue, grab your toys and start heading over to the car, we'll get there in a mo'."
"Okay!"
As much as a part of her was disappointed by the song plans getting interrupted, Sue wasn't gonna argue with the rain, especially when it was warm enough to feel more ticklish and funny than freezing- at least when it wasn't making its way past her collar. The six year old eventually resorted to hiding underneath the frisbee next to her parents' car as she watched them clean the clearing up, taking a second look around to make sure they didn't leave any trash behind before finally heading over as well, a couple lights blinking on the vehicle's sides as it was unlocked.
Sue wasted no time before scrambling over towards the trunk and popping it open, putting all her toys back in but without the reach to actually grab the lid again- not for a lack of trying for sure.
"Get in the car Sue, we'll take care of the trunk."
"Okay!"
Even the brief exposure to the increasingly cold rain left the girl chilly as she climbed back inside the car, the dim bulbs providing just enough light for her to maneuver herself back onto the booster seat and click the seatbelt into place, her parents shivering as they followed in a few moments later.
"Not a moment too late, the sky really just broke down on us there."
"Ride back home's gonna be fun."
"Just take it slow Nick, no need to rush anything, especially not in this weather."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
"Seatbelt on Sue?"
Her mom glanced over at her daughter from the passenger seat, the sight of her little Sue bringing a smile to her face without fail, no matter the context.
"Yeah!"
"Awesome. Let's get outta here- how's hot cocoa sound after we're back home?"
"Can we have marshmallows too?"
"Well we kinda ate them all here~ buuut we could make popcorn instead!"
"Yes! Thank you mommy!"
Another hair ruffle sent Sue giggling again as the lights inside the car dimmed, the steady rattle of rain growing louder as they pulled out of the increasingly muddy impromptu parking lot and back onto the rural road, thanking whoever was listening for the relatively fresh looking asphalt that covered it. In not too long, the combined noise of rain on the outside and engine on the inside was the only sound that filled the car, headlights doing their best to cut through the ever thickening downpour.
"Fat chance anything's gonna be clear through this rain but might as well try-"
A few attempts to tune into whichever station was around ended up unsuccessful, any partial melody they could make out too drowned out by static to be listenable.
"Yep, guess it's just us and the road."
"Moooom, can I play?"
Sue's mom sighed quietly, shaking her head lightly as she glanced over to the back seat-
"Sure, sure, just turn the sound off."
"Thank you!"
In no time, the handheld console was scooped up from the middle seat, the purplish plastic cracked in a couple places but still holding strong as the rectangular screen in the middle came to life, its welcoming chime soon silenced. Much as Sue's mom tried to limit her daughter's screen time, she couldn't deny that a dull ride back home with not even a radio to ferry them over was a more than justifiable time to lose herself to the plumbers and heroes of legend and all that, herself just leaning further back in her seat as her husband drove on.
For a solid while afterwards, the little girl's memories were completely focused on the small screen in front of her, outside world tuned out completely, clumps of pixels representing franchise icons moving and jumping around, the same levels getting replayed god knows how many times- but all that mattered was that they were fun, and fun they were. With the excitement of their day out hiking and camping quickly leaving her system, Sue felt herself grow drowsier and drowsier as her dad drove on, the handheld console eventually placed back on the seat next to her as she closed her eyes-
The few moments that followed afterwards were nothing more than a sudden, deafening blur in Sue's recollection of the events. Eyes snapping open only to be blinded by the oncoming car's headlights, her mom shouting something out- the next thing Sue knew, the whole world was tumbling to the side of the road, seatbelt digging into her body as she was ragdolled in her seat, the shriek of crumpling metal permanently burning itself into her memory. An instant later, with another loud bang, it was all over, an occasional crack or groan becoming the only company to the still present rain and rumble, a concussed world nothing more than a blur as Sue realized she was sitting at an angle, whole body hurting-
"Cass? CASS!?"
The sound of her dad calling out her mom's name made the girl attempt to focus and look over, the memory refusing to follow that recollection of events, its point of view continuing to stare into the back of her dad's seat, though the sight of blood splattered on the car's dashboard said it all, Sue refusing to relive the sight just off to the right. Refusing to see her mom crushed by the tree their car ended up slamming into, refusing to hear any more of her dad's pleading, refusing to experience losing her innocence again, the traumatic vision beginning to come undone, with her own quiet whisper the last thing seen or heard before it all dissipated-
"M-mom?"
__________________________________________
Sue had no idea how much time had passed by the time she felt herself return back to reality, the sun having moved significantly since the last time she looked up at the sky. She could tell she'd been crying for a while, but had no idea for how long exactly, only that at some point she'd stopped, judging by the sticky sensation on her cheeks. One of which was presently being lightly stroked by Solstice, the Forest Guardian steadfastly holding her closer, just as close as Sue had held her earlier, holding, or more realistically enough eventually regaining her composure after witnessing it all.
Her glance up at her mentor was returned, Solstice's expression trying to be as comforting as she could, regardless of how much she herself needed that comfort in the moment as well.
"I'm so sorry Sue."
Sue nodded shakily, thinking about getting up for a while before realizing just how utterly tired she now was, any and all strength Sundance's brew had filled her with now completely gone. Tired and drained, old emotional scars, both her own and her mentor's, draining her wholly, leaving little more than a mostly emotionless husk behind.
And yet...
Her flat expression wavered a bit, emotions slowly coming back to, acknowledging the world around her, including one particular sensation that she now, more than ever, couldn't ignore. Not after a light had been shone on it so directly, the care of Solstice's affection towards her going from so comforting to so, so... worrisome. She could recall clasping her hands before bed each night for months upon months afterwards, muttering whichever few prayers she knew for her mom to come back, for it all to have been but a vicious nightmare, and yet, once she actually felt that comfort, the same warmth once more, after all these years...
She didn't know what to do.
Did she want this? Did she deserve this? Was it right of her to want this? Was it fair? To her, to Solstice, to her mom, to Aurora, was it right!? Was it right of her to feel at home in ways she hadn't since that fateful evening, since her mother's death and her father's emotional crippling? Was it right of her to begin dreading the inevitable return back to her world, a world where the future was uncertain at best, a world where she had nobody else, a world where outside of a handful of acquaintances nobody had even likely realized her disappearance!?
She didn't know.
There was only one thing Sue knew for sure in that moment, knew deep down so much more than anything else in the whole world, be it this one or her own, the truth that felt so terrifying to admit and yet no less real-
She didn't want Solstice to let go.