I had a lot of thoughts when I first got my vampire powers. My first thought was, 'What the actual fuck? What is happening to me? Am I in a dream? Is this a glitch in the ma-'
Ehem! My second thought was, 'Oh my god, I have superpowers! I could actually be a freaking superhero!'
But never did the thought of becoming a Vampire Undercover Cop cross my mind. Who would even imagine that?
A vampire cop? That sounds like the dumbest-
"That's the coolest thing I've ever heard!" I said to Pamela and Anthony with widened eyes.
Anthony pursed his lips, and after a moment of silence, he shifted his gaze towards Pamela before remarking, "See? This dumbass can't even lie properly."
"Hey, what do you mean I can't lie properly?" I retorted, raising an eyebrow in response to Anthony's words, clearly offended by his statement. "I can lie perfectly fine, alright? I mean, not that I was lying just now, but if I was, then it would've been a very good lie."
Pamela shook her head, ignoring my protests, and turned her attention to Anthony. "Well, we're running out of options. We don't have the luxury of time. Yes, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed, and his lying skills could use some work. I completely agree-"
"Hey!" I interjected, giving Pamela an incredulous look. "I'm right here, you know?"
"But he's the only candidate we've got." Pamela continued, ignoring me once again. "It's either him or nothing."
"Is getting ignored one of the abilities of a vampire? Because this is getting concerning.." I muttered under my breath, trying to make myself heard amidst their conversation, but it seemed like my words were once again falling on deaf ears.
"Yeah, I know, I know.." Anthony finally responded with a sigh, seemingly acknowledging my presence. Pamela offered him a reassuring pat on the shoulder and declared, "We're going to get those assholes, you hear me?"
"Wow, okay, you're still continuing this bit?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the melodramatic exchange playing out in front of me. "Ignore instead of talking about the problem. That's nice," I remarked sarcastically. "Real mature, guys.."
"Let's get back on track," Anthony's voice turned serious as he took a deep breath. Both he and Pamela shifted their attention to me. "Kid…" He said, his expression growing serious. "We're going to make you an undercover vampire cop...….. Temporarily."
"Wha- only temporarily?" My frustration was evident as I questioned Anthony's statement. "Why is it only temporary? I thought this mission was crucial. Shouldn't I at least be considered for a small but permanent position in the vampire police department?"
"You can earn a position within the department if you successfully complete this undercover mission," Pamela clarified, her words drawing surprised looks from both Anthony and me. "I can?" "He can?"
"Sure.." Pamela affirmed, twirling her hair as she continued, "You can be… the, uh, Custodial Technician who's responsible for the hygienic maintenance of the designated premises."
"..... I'm not going to be the janitor." I declared in an annoyed tone, causing Pamela to mutter under her breath, "Damn it. I really thought that would work."
Anthony's patience wore thin, his hand slamming onto the table to command attention. "Listen up," he growled, drawing everyone's eyes. "You're not getting into the vampire cop department. That's it. End of story."
"Why not?" I asked. Anthony shook his head, his expression resolute. "I'm not telling you. You can't handle the truth."
"Try me," I retorted firmly, unwavering. Anthony's eyebrows twitched as he reluctantly offered his explanation, "Because you're too much of an idiot."
"...... Wow, that actually hurt." I replied, placing a hand dramatically over my heart. "Why would you say that? That was really uncalled for."
"I agree." Pamela nodded in agreement. "You really didn't have to be so harsh."
"Wha- I've said way worse things to him," Anthony looked at Pamela with a bemused expression. "And it's true! I mean, we're talking about the kid who literally dresses like a bank robber and beats up thugs like he's some kind of batman wannabe."
"And how exactly is that stupid?" I asked, baffled by Anthony's words. "I'll have you know, I saved a woman yesterday."
"No, you nearly scared her to death, that's what you did." Anthony retrieved a piece of paper from his pocket and laid it on the table. The paper held a sketch of a man in a ski mask.
"Check this out. Found it in the Floranheim police department today. Recognize that?" Anthony's voice carried a tinge of frustration as he pointed at the sketch. "They were ready to investigate you for attempted murder. Do you have any idea the shit I had to go through to get them off your ass? It wasn't easy, I'll tell you that."
I picked up the sketch and examined it with a mixture of emotions before muttering, "... Huh."
"Don't do shit like that anymore," Anthony stated firmly. "We can't afford you causing trouble with the regular cops. What you need to concentrate on is your assignment."
"And what exactly is my assignment?" I inquired, awaiting his explanation. Anthony proceeded to elaborate, "You're going to infiltrate the 'Trilokas'."
"Wait, you want me to join the group of bullies at my school?" My eyes widened in disbelief. Anthony confirmed my suspicion, "There are rumors of meth distribution on the streets by some of the high rankers in your little school group."
"Hold on, let me guess," I interjected, my curiosity piqued. "You want me to take them down, right?"
"No," Anthony's expression remained stern as he corrected me. "Among these high-ranking individuals, our information suggests that two might actually be vampires themselves."
"Alright, so you want me to take down the vampire criminals," I concluded.
"No," Anthony replied, his gaze unwavering. "Out of these two vampire suspects, one is allegedly involved in the illegal trade of human blood, possibly acquired through illicit means, and selling it to other vampires."
"Do you want me to target that specific vampire?" I asked with a questioning look.
"No," Anthony shook his head once more. "Apparently, that blood-selling vampire high schooler also has connections with the 'Red Triad,' an underground criminal organization known for various heinous crimes."
"Do you want me to take the criminal organization down?" I asked, still uncertain about the purpose of this discussion.
"No," Anthony's head shook again, prompting an exasperated groan from me. "Ugh.." Ignoring my frustration, he continued, "Among the members of the Red Triad, the blood-selling vampire high schooler is associated with a group of individuals who are actually vampires themselves."
Anthony's gaze met mine, and I simply shrugged in response. "I've given up trying to predict where this is going, man.."
"Well, the answer is still no," Anthony continued his explanation. "Among those vampires, one of them reportedly handed over a vial of Azforlina drug to the vampire high schooler. And what we need you to do is-"
"Take this vampire down!" I burst out, unable to hold back. Anthony's eyes rolled in exasperation before he clarified, "We want you to uncover his identity and report back to us."
"Wha- I don't get to take down anyone?" I said with a frustrated expression on my face, glancing back and forth between Pamela and Anthony, before letting out a long groan. "Uuuuuuuuuuugh!"
"We're asking you to be an undercover cop, you little shit. Not to be an 80's action star." Anthony's frustration showed in his tone before he continued, "Look, your task is still extremely important. You have to figure out who the vampire high-schooler/drug dealer is, as well as who the supplier of the Azforlina drug is. That's not going to be easy, especially considering the complete lack of information we have about this case."
"What the hell is this Azforlina drug that you're talking about?" I asked, my curiosity piqued. Pamela was quick to explain, "It's a drug that provides vampires with enhanced abilities. But it's also highly addictive and can lead to destructive behavior. In simple terms, it's illegal and harmful for vampires. We suspect that this Red Triad member plans to produce it locally and distribute it on a large scale using the Red Triad's influence. We can't allow that to happen."
"Hm, I'm starting to understand the mission," I nodded, absorbing Pamela's words. After a brief pause, I inquired, "But how in the world am I supposed to infiltrate the group of bullies?"
"What do you mean?" Anthony's eyebrows shot up in confusion as he stared at me with a puzzled expression. "Did you forget about what went down at school today?"
"I didn't, though I kinda wish I could," I retorted with a wry chuckle. "But I don't understand how my embarrassing moment will help me join the Trilokas."
Anthony and Pamela exchanged a glance before heaving simultaneous sighs, exasperation evident in their faces. "I can't believe I'm spelling it out for you, Felix. But you're already part of the Trilokas."
"..... I'm sorry, what?"