Lucas Carter's POV
They say, "Move on, let it go."
But this isn't just a weight I carry or a step I take. My mother was taken from me, stolen by the hands of a murderer...
And even though I never really knew her, I spend endless moments, hours, days, weeks, even months trying to piece together the fragments. Wondering, what secrets lie within those shattered memories? What part did I play in this tragic puzzle?
So tell me, can I just sweep those broken pieces under the rug and move forward? If I do, how can I live with that?
"Brother, are you okay?"
I jolted back to reality, taken aback by his words. Life doesn't always flow smoothly, but right now, I'm drowning in the chaos.
There are so many unanswered questions, and I hold the key. I must unravel the mysteries, but I find myself lost in the labyrinth of my own mind.
I press my hands against my temples. Have you ever been locked out of your own house because you misplaced the key?
"I'm sorry, big brother. I can't remember what happened," I whisper.
Ever since I woke up in that sterile hospital room, not a single night goes by without me desperately searching for the truth. It's like waking up each morning, hoping that around the corner, clarity awaits.
"You don't have to apologize. None of this is your fault. We'll stand by you, help you weather this storm," he reassures me. It's comforting to know they're there, even if I can't remember them. Deep down, I can sense their presence. I know I do. "Listen, I'll always be here for you, and we won't rest until the one who did this pays." His voice carries a firm determination, void of any bitterness.
In that moment, I can see his unwavering resolve. Like a spider lurking in the shadows, waiting for its prey to fall into its web. Losing a mother must be a hurricane of emotions for a son, but I feel nothing at all.
Because having a brother means you're never truly alone in this world. Imagine waking up to an empty void, not knowing your other half, your confidant, your partner. It's not just my life I'm missing out on, it's ours.
I tilt my head downward, lost in a sea of confusion, despair, hopelessness—whatever you want to call it. I can't even recognize myself anymore.
"Brother, how are you? Are you finding any solace here?"
Suddenly, darkness engulfs my senses. It's hard to put into words, like everything fades to black, and I'm transported to a realm of visions.
"Y-Yes."
I don't know how, but it's me. I'm witnessing myself sitting next to my brother. It's not the present, it's not under my control, but I'm there, observing.
"That's great! Just remember, whenever you need anything, I'm here," he says, a genuine smile crossing his face.
I clutch my head as a sharp pain pierces through. It's all jumbled, twisted...
"Ah-ahh..." I groan.
In an instant, my senses return, like my spirit crashing back into my body.
"Lucas," I struggle to gather myself, craving more glimpses of those visions. "Brother, what happened?" Liam asks, his tone laced with concern. It's like the curtains closing on the stage of clarity, and I'm back in the darkness, stumbling on the journey.
"W-We were just playing," I blurt out, surprising him with my revelation.
I can't believe it. How did I manage that? Just like that, a missing puzzle piece falls into place.
Desperation engulfs me, an ache to mend, to retrieve. I shut my eyes once more, succumbing to the desperation. I'm grasping at straws, pushing myself to the limit, but all I find is emptiness.
"What else do you remember?"
The room falls silent. My mind is a whirlwind, ready to erupt, but I don't care. I know my memories are on the brink of resurfacing, and it feels agonizing.
I clench my fist and pound my forehead in frustration, as if trying to force the memories out.
"Brother, stop," he pleads, restraining my hand. How can he remain calm while I'm a storm inside?
I pay him no heed. I yearn to know, with every fiber of my being.
"I-I have to remember—"
"No, please! Calm down," he implores. "Please, Lucas, don't do this."
I release a long sigh, attempting to calm the raging storm within. I'm exhausted. I feel like surrendering, like there's no way out. Hope is buried deep, but I choose to hold on, one more time.
"What can I do? Are we just going to wait until my memories resurface? Can't we take action?" I ask earnestly. A flood of emotions bursts forth, overwhelming me. I crave healing, desperate to piece myself together again.
"We need to ensure your safety."
I rise from my seat, teetering on the edge. They say they want to protect me, but I can't help but question. If that were true, why did they let me suffer for a month, almost letting me slip away instead of waking up?
"Do you think I'm safe like this? I almost died. The culprit is still out there, and I feel utterly useless!" I explode. Consequences be damned, I no longer care. It's only me that matters now, consequences be damned.
"We can't take that risk, Brother. I don't think you're ready to—"
"What? Ready to face the truth? Ready to confront what I did or didn't do? Is it that you don't want me to think about it or that you can't handle talking about it?" I challenge him, the words pouring out of me. "These are my memories, Brother. I want to know, I need to know what the hell happened!"
"We can wait, Lucas! Let the authorities handle it. You don't need to put this weight on your shoulders!" he retorts, frustration lining his voice. I can't fathom his thoughts, just as he can't grasp mine. But as I said, desperation drives me. His desires become insignificant; only mine hold importance.
"How long do we wait, relying on others? How many more lives will be endangered before we take control?" I plead, emotions raging inside me. The floodgates open, and I'm overwhelmed. I crave healing, yearning for it like an ache deep in my bones.
He averts his gaze, allowing the wind to gust through the open window. I understand the need for caution, I really do. But I'm tired.
He closes his eyes for a brief moment before meeting my gaze once again.
"I know someone who can help us."
They say where there's hope, there's life. But what happens when everything you had is consumed by fire, and you're left expecting them to rebuild from the ashes, only to realize it's too late.
"Sit down," Dr. Solomon says, his voice calm and steady. I swallow the lump in my throat, a flicker of doubt flickering within me.
"Are you absolutely sure about this, Brother?" Liam whispers behind me. I meet his eyes, and with a slight nod, I convey my determination. I want to give our mother the justice she deserves, and I believe this is the way.
"What's your name?" the doctor asks, his tone soothing.
"L-Lucas."
"Alright, Lucas. So, you can't recall anything? Not even a fragment?"
"Sometimes, I catch glimpses, but they're like shards of a broken mirror," I reply. Dr. Solomon removes his glasses, wiping them with a handkerchief. I don't feel nervous; I'm already numb. I simply want him to do whatever it takes.
"I see. The damage to your mind isn't irreparable. I can assist you," he reassures, putting his glasses back on. "May I see your forearm?" he asks. I meet his gaze for a moment, and in his eyes, I sense a glimmer of trust.
So, I extend my arm to him.
"Just follow my lead, okay? Close your eyes," he instructs. I comply, shutting my eyes tightly. "Now, take slow, deep breaths, filling your lungs from your belly, not your chest." It feels odd at first, almost silly, but little do I know what lies ahead. "With each exhale, think of a word that represents how you want to feel."
"Calm," I utter on an exhale. "Peace."
"Good. Now, let your senses awaken. Feel the environment around you—the sounds, the scents. Keep your eyes closed and focus," he continues. It may seem trivial, but I'm captivated by how these simple exercises can have a profound effect. "Is it warm or cool? Are there vibrant colors swirling in your mind? Can you detect a fragrance in the air? Answer silently, within your own thoughts."
Gradually, I begin to feel a shift.
"Okay. Now, visualize a movie screen before you. Imagine yourself on that screen, embodying the person you aspire to be. Revel in watching this version of yourself, and embrace the possibility of a future where you can always feel this way." In my mind's eye, I see myself standing tall on a mountaintop, basking in the glow of accomplishment. "Now, open your eyes, Lucas." It's as if I awaken from a dream.
"Focus on this pen," Dr. Solomon instructs, retrieving a small ballpoint pen. "Keep your gaze fixed on it. Concentrate, alright?" He moves the pen from left to right, and I track its motion with my eyes.
"Lucas."
I open my eyes, and the world transforms. Dr. Solomon and Liam have vanished, replaced by an unfamiliar setting. Everything is blank, a canvas of white.
"Lucas."
The voice echoes once more. I glance around, searching for its source, but there is no one to be found.
"Where are you?" I murmur aloud. Confusion clouds my mind. How did I end up here? What is happening?
"Lucas."
Dizziness overtakes me...
"Lucas..."
"S-Stop... stop... STOP!"
"Lucas?"
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
It's surreal. There's a weight pressing upon me from within, suffocating my very being. There are depths within me, secrets too overwhelming to bear. It's tearing me apart.
"Brother, what happened?" I finally emerge from the darkness, returning to reality. Dr. Solomon and Liam wear tense expressions, a mixture of concern and uncertainty etched upon their faces.
What just happened?
...