I was flustered and speechless for a while.
The woman hanging from the thorny tree, she's the 'Goddess'?
"Then you mean to say... you are the guardian deity of humanity?"
"Not all of humanity follows me, but from a racial perspective, that's correct."
I remembered a story I heard from Aider, was it on New Year's Day?
- In this world, beings representing a race have the opportunity to attain divinity.
There were three cases Aider explained for gaining divinity:
1. Being the progenitor of that race.
2. Being a great hero who saved the race from a crisis.
3. Being the sole survivor when all others of the race have perished.
The Goddess fell into the second category. Meaning, she had performed a great deed saving humanity, earning her divinity.
But why?
Why is such a great being, one who achieved such feats and even attained divinity, hanging here in such a horrific state... bleeding and burning?
"I am paying the price now."
The Goddess spoke calmly.
"For bringing fire to humanity. And for sustaining that fire. I agreed to eternally burn my own body as punishment."
"What does that mean..."
"If we were to talk about me, we'd be here for days, Ash."
The Goddess smiled kindly at me.
"We'll have another chance someday... Right now, it seems like your own problems are more pressing."
"..."
"What troubles you, child?"
I couldn't answer easily, but she seemed to know everything already.
"A living person drifting into the spirit world means they haven't fully grasped their own identity."
I remembered when I first fell into the spirit world.
A system alert, [Existence Verification Failed], and I rolled into this place.
Ever since then, I have been doubting my own identity.
"Ash, I have witnessed all the hardships and challenges you've faced. I know your doubts about your own existence."
Hearing the Goddess' voice, I clenched my fist.
The battles I've recently faced have clarified my flag.
Once again, I will fight for people. And my will to carry that flag is clear.
But 'I' am...
The more information I gather, the more I am led astray rather than assured.
'Who am I, exactly?'
A player? A tyrant? A monster?
Am I Ash? A RetroAddict?
What am I?
"What defines you is not where you come from, your race, or your appearance."
The Goddess then whispered softly.
"It's what thoughts you harbor and what actions you take."
I looked at the Goddess in slight surprise.
"That's..."
"Do you remember? It's what you said."
The Goddess chuckled playfully.
"To your people who were worried about whether they were human or monster, you said, 'If you wish to be human, then you certainly are human'."
It was during Stage 10.
I said that to Kuilan and the Punishment Squad, who were struggling with their half-human, half-beast identities.
"You see? I've watched the battles you've fought. In a manner of speaking, I am a dedicated fan of your strategy broadcasts..."
"..."
It was embarrassing, as if I really showed my broadcast to my mother. Please don't watch that, Goddess...
As I bashfully averted my gaze, the Goddess continued.
"Ash. I want to return your words to you. It's not important where you come from. What matters is what you wish to do moving forward."
"..."
"And from what I see, your heart's banner already seems steadfast."
The goddess smiled warmly.
"Isn't that enough?"
After remaining silent with my mouth firmly shut, I lifted my head and faced the goddess.
"I have just one question..."
"I'll gladly answer."
"What was your banner, Goddess?"
What ideal, what great cause did she pursue?
How could she remain so detached amidst such a horrific punishment?
She answered my question promptly.
"To make more people happy."
"Do you regret carrying that banner?"
Pierced by thorny trees, bleeding profusely, and simultaneously, her blood turning into flames, engulfing her entire body.
In such a wretched state, far from what a 'Goddess' should be, she was exiled in a corner of this remote world.
If this was the end of her great cause, wasn't it too brutal?
"Regret..."
The Goddess looked down at her body with a bitter smile.
"Enduring this eternal pain, sometimes I do think that. If I could return to that moment of choice, instead of achieving something great enough to attain divinity, to live and die as an ordinary human. What would I choose?"
She did not hesitate.
"Yes. I can say it for certain. Even if I had the chance to choose again, time and again, I would make the same choice."
"...!"
"Hesitate, agonize, and maybe even give up a few times. But in the end, I would steal the fire and share the light and warmth with the people."
The Goddess looked me in the eye and whispered calmly.
"The long and arduous path you must walk is the same."
"..."
"Your banner has already broken once. But you raised it again. Don't be ashamed of that reversal. Be proud of that wound."
"..."
"Even if it breaks, shatters, or bends... if you keep moving forward without giving up, and finally plant it at your destination, your banner will still be beautiful."
As a flag-bearer, a senior to me, the Goddess nodded gently.
"It's time. Go now, my successor."
Then she winked naturally.
"If my arms were free, I would have hugged you, but, unfortunately, in my current state, I can only wish you blessings for your future in my heart."
It was a literal [Gardis Blessing].
A wink from the Goddess. How rare and precious.
I respectfully showed my gratitude to her.
"Someday, I'll come to see you again, Goddess."
"I'll be happily waiting."
Was it suppressed for our conversation?
The amount of blood flowing from her body increased, and the flames grew fiercer. Amidst the flickering flames, the Goddess kept smiling to the end.
"I hope we can have more stories to share next time."
The heat intensified. I couldn't stay in that space any longer and had to leave.
"..."
On the distant shore, the Emperor and the Deities were still stirring up spray in battle.
And right in front of the thorny trees, the Goddess was bound, engulfed in eternal flames.
The scenery of the Spirit Realm is something I just can't get used to. Even if it's the same fantasy world, the genre feels a bit different...
"What will come next..."
As I muttered and looked up at the sky, huh.
Something was plummeting at a terrifying speed, sliding down the stem of Everblack from the sky.
I squinted my eyes. Is that...?
"Lordddddddd!"
Disheveled gray hair, round glasses with invisible insides.
The damned director of this damned game, and my aide.
It was Aider.
Kuwaang!
Aider, falling without wings, crashed straight into the sandy ground.
I wondered if he had broken his neck and died, but Aider, this guy, nonchalantly dusted off the sand and sprang to his feet. Is he really a monster or what?
"Woaaaah! It's really you, Lord!"
"...What else would I be, a fake?"
Aider grabbed my hand and began to dance round and round.
"My Lord! Our Lord! You're alive!"
"I've nearly died a few times, but yeah, I'm alive."
"You suddenly disappeared! The system was down! I thought for sure you had gone for good!"
Aider clung to me, his eyes brimming with tears.
"Thinking this was the final round and game over, this incompetent director was really freaking out!"
"Get off me, I'm not thrilled about a hug from a guy..."
When I lightly pushed him away, Aider dramatically tumbled on the sand and laughed uproariously.
"You have no idea how much I've wandered around this Spirit Realm looking for you after you disappeared. Let's quickly return to reality! Everyone at Crossroad is eagerly waiting!"
As Aider prepared to return to reality, I reached out and stopped him.
"Aider. Wait."
"Yes?"
"I have something to ask."
"Why don't we talk after returning to reality! If you're exposed to the Spirit Realm for too long, it might adversely affect your already precarious soul state..."
"Aider!"
When I called out loudly, Aider, startled, turned to look at me. I glared fiercely at him.
"We need to talk now."
"...My Lord?"
"I still can't access the system. Still, I'm failing to prove my own existence."
I took a deep breath.
Looking straight at the culprit of all these events, I asked clearly.
"Who am I?"
"What are you talking about, knowing well yourself..."
"Don't evade the question. Answer me. Who am I?"
Something had been off from the start.
The Spirit Realm is a space between life and death. Here, one exists not in physical form, but as a spirit.
In other words, my appearance should reflect my soul.
But now, I am not in the form of RetroAddict, but... as Ash.
The Emperor had said. I am undoubtedly his son, Ash.
A transcendent being fighting against the Deities, having reached the realm of demigods, he couldn't be mistaken.
Why do I frequently dream not of a RetroAddict's dreams, but Ash's dreams, Ash's mother's dreams?
If I, RetroAddict, were possessed by Ash's body, I should only have memories of a classic fanatic. But that wasn't the case.
I often read Ash's memories in my dreams.
It's okay. My lovely Born Hater.
I remember the face of the woman stroking my forehead.
This is certainly not the memory of a 'RetroAddict', but of 'Ash'.
And, most importantly.
"During this fall, I fought alongside Salome, the commander of the Succubi legion. And, incidentally... that succubus read my memories, down to the depths of my soul."
Aider's shoulders twitched.
I stepped closer to Aider.
"Salome, who read my soul, told me. There's a secret in my soul."
"...My Lord."
"The truth is, I'm not a 'RetroAddict' possessed in Ash's body, but..."
It was hard to believe for myself.
But the secret that Salome revealed to me in her last moments was precisely.
"...I am 'Ash', believing myself to be RetroAddict."
That was it.
Even as I uttered these words now, I was still utterly confused.
What kind of nonsense is this?
"Tell me exactly, Aider."
To the one who knew the answer, I asked with a trembling voice.
"Who am I, exactly?"
"..."
"What am I?"
After a long silence, Aider looked at me intently and then,
Slowly... opened his mouth.
"You are Ash."
With a bitter and regretful voice.
"Each round, memories and consciousness of different players, the 'save data', are borrowed and overlaid on top of your memories to be stored..."
I widened my eyes.
"...You are this game's 'save slot'."