Can you guess who named me? It's obvious, right? Of course, it was my father. He's not Japanese though.
And my mother is Chinese.
What the hell was my father thinking!?
Kazu, out.
◇
Every place has an origin. Not just the place, but everything in general. Everything that exists in this world has a beginning, a point where it came into being. Whether it is a natural phenomenon, a human invention, or a living creature, everything has a source, a cause, and a reason for its existence.
However, once a motion of beginning occurs, the end is inevitable. Nothing lasts forever, nothing is eternal. Everything that has a start also has a finish, a point where it ceases to be. Whether it is by decay, destruction, or death, everything has a fate, a consequence, a result of its existence.
As a futurologist professor, not the visionary kind, but we all agree that every origin was doomed to perish. It would either adapt to change or succumb to its fate. That was the law of nature, the rule of evolution. Everything that exists in this world has to face the challenge of change, and the pressure of progress. Whether it is by mutation, innovation, or transformation, everything has to cope, adjust, or improve its existence.
As I ran toward the bolts of lightning, I kept chanting to myself, "I won't let it end! I won't let it end!"
I was still far away when the lightning strikes ceased. But I didn't stop running. I couldn't stop running. I had to get there as fast as possible.
Huff… Huff…
As I emerged from the dense canopy of trees, I paused to catch my breath.
I'm too far away to hear anyone, but I catch her scream, "No!!! Rowa!!".
Someone is sobbing; it must be Anna. I dash towards her, and after climbing a small hill, I spot her crying. But I quickly duck behind the hill, peeking only my head to see what's happening.
I can't believe it!!!
The person crying is definitely Anna, but she is not human.
When did I ever think they were human? When did I ever make that mistake?
The sound of countless footsteps flashes in my mind—and I'm so stunned that I forget why I came here in the first place. The sound of many legs moving like a herd of animals. I hold my head in confusion as memories flash.
Then I hear a familiar voice—a voice that I recognize, a voice that speaks human language—and I snap back to reality.
"Anna, you shouldn't be here. It's dangerous!"
"But Rowa…"
"I know we failed. If only we had a little more time, Rowa would be the real deity we deserved. But… We have to go."
But all I can do is watch them crawl away. Yes, they crawl. They don't walk or run or fly. They crawl across the dirt, on dozens of legs.
The image of a beautiful teenage girl named Anna shatters in my mind like glass. I slump on the hill, numb, unable to process it. They look like a human-sized cockroaches, with a hard shell, long antennae, and beady eyes.
My feet ache as if to remind me that this is indeed real.
◇
I wander aimlessly in the opposite direction of where they went. I have no destination, no goal, no plan. I just want to get away from them. I keep wondering, when did I start assuming? When did I start believing that they were human?
I could have gone to meet them even if it was hard to explain, but instead, I walk away. Am I biased? I have no idea. I have lived alone for a long time and thought I knew myself.
I continue to roam aimlessly. Walk. Die. Resurrect. Walk. Die. Resurrect. Until I fall into lava, which burns, but this pain is nothing to me. I am used to pain, to suffering, to agony. I have endured it for so long, that it became normal, routine. I am stuck in a cycle of endless resurrection and destruction. It is better this way.
That's what I thought, but the lava is no longer there. What happened?
There are still a few lava pockets here and there. But the large lava pool has vanished; has it drained away?
A gigantic crater has formed where the lava pool used to be.
I think I understand why. I move over to the small puddle of lava and lie down on it to test my theory. After a few times of dying and resurrecting, the puddle of lava disappears, leaving only a faint mark of a human shape.
So that's how it works? If I drowned in the ocean, I would probably turn it into a desert. That would be horrible.
I'm not only resurrecting - I'm restoring, and everything that blocks my resurrection is either assimilated or erased. I'm guessing the latter.
I'm still wearing my shirt, now that I think about it. This is indeed not just a resurrection; these are the clothes I wore when I went to the academy. I see. So that's how it happened.
I doubt I would be here if I hadn't used the Transportal. Where did the lady go? I came here with someone. Or was I just unlucky? I was too busy mastering myself to notice her; sure, mastering suffering is necessary in my case, but I wasted too much time. How long have I been here? A hundred years? Maybe millennia or even more. Sigh…
Nothing can be done then.
◇
Huff… Huff…
"Will there ever be a day when I don't have to die?" I wonder as I catch my breath climbing out of the crater. It takes me three lives just to get out of here.
I kept walking, but when the sun was almost down, I stopped. I couldn't go on like this.
Sigh.
I have to decide what I am going to do from now on.
I have to find a way out of this world or a reason to stay in it.
I start gathering wood for a fire. Many of the trees in this area are dried out, probably because of volcanic activity. This area looks like a canyon, but it is very wide. Smoke rises here and there, creating a hazy atmosphere.
I watch the sunset from the highest cliff I can climb comfortably. The sunset has a special beauty that I have never noticed before.
Lonely but warm.
The sky is painted with orange, red, and purple hues, contrasting with the dark silhouettes of the mountains. The sun slowly sinks behind the horizon, casting long shadows on the ground. The air is cool and fresh, soothing my skin and lungs.
As the sun sets, the torch I am holding lights up the area, replacing the sunlight. I have seen a lava pocket on the way here and dipped a piece of wood in it. I can only carry a few pieces of wood, but they are enough for the night.
I build a campfire and look for a good spot to sit and stare at the flames. And thought, "It would be nice if someone sings…"
But I am the only one here.
So I started to sing…
But I don't know any camping songs. Well, let's make something original. Though, my friends always stopped me from singing for various reasons. But no one is going to stop me now. He he he.
Let's do this.
[🎶
I see a fire... burning bright
I see the stars, they burning right?
A lonely night, but I'm not alone.
A have the light that gives me warmth.
I must be loved.
I'm alone... but it's warm.
I must be loved...
🎵(instrumental using my mouth and slapping my legs) 🎵
I'll find a way to reach the stars
'till my heart... got scars
A place full of smile
A place... that warm like home
I must be loved.
I'm alone... but it's warm.
I must be loved...
🎶]