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*****
That made the pseudo Saber blink "Ram did?"
"Yes. When Rem was cooking the meat, Nee-sama was the one who volunteered to taste it." Rem answered "Nee-sama said "Since Ram also had a hand in hunting this beast she is curious how it tastes. If this meat ends up poisoning Ram, please tell Alex-sama to fetch an antidote." She quoted the pink oni.
"I... I see..." Alex doesn't know how to respond to that. He did not expect that at all.
"Ram is right though Alex." Emilia chimed in "Eating demon beasts is unheard of. Who knows what poisons they carry?" She actually came here tonight to make sure he was fine after eating the meat. She was going to check his health afterwards.
"I appreciate the concern but I think it will be fine." Alex replied in a nonchalant tone. Demon beasts were created to become food in the first place so he doubted it would poison him. "Speaking about Ram, is she okay?" He asked as he turned to Rem.
"Nee-sama is fine, right now she is resting in her room." Rem replied "Although she seems more exhausted than she looks, strange since she was not injured that much."
That was true. While Ram certainly got roughed up by the Wolgarm, her injuries consisted of nothing more than a few scratches and bruises. Alex had made sure she was fine. He himself actually lost more blood than her.
The problem lay within her small mana reserves. Ram greatly exhausted herself struggling to injure the thing with her spells. The Mabeasts of this world seemed to have a small amount of magic resistance themselves. To survive some of the spells she chucked at it, one of them in point blank, spoke volumes of their resilience.
'In comparison to the Nasuverse, these animals seem to be at the level of weak chimeras. No, even less than that. They are only two or three levels above common beasts –they were created for nourishment after all. The three Great Demon Beasts on the other hand are most likely Monstrous Beasts. While their strength is relatively low, they make up for it with their endurance and magic resistance.' Alex thought, remembering Hakugei easily shrugging off magical energy attacks. It took a physical manifestation like Rem's ice spear to truly injure it.
"Alex-sama."
"Hm?" Alex was brought out of his thoughts by Rem's call.
"Did something happen to Nee-sama in the forest?"
Alex's mind screeched to a halt, remembering the pink oni squirming in his hold, letting out weak moans. He quickly turned away to hide his burning face.
"Yeah, you could say that." He said, trying his best to seem calm. "Let's just say you should ask Ram herself about it."
Rem's eyes narrowed in suspicion. She was about to voice it but found herself hesitating.
Alex noticed and tried to reassure her. "This is Ram we are talking about." Alex said with a small chuckle "Do you think she would stay silent if I did something improper to her?"
"Ah? No, Rem did not mean to accuse Alex-sama." Rem replied hastily, a bit surprised that the man could read her that quickly.
"Is that so..." Alex sounded amused by the response. He turned to Emilia "Emi, can you leave me and Rem alone for a moment?"
"Eh?" Emilia blinked at the sudden odd request. She gives Rem a look before shifting her gaze back to him. Despite the smile on Alex's face he seemed serious. "If you say so..."
She looked confused and curious but decided that perhaps there was something going on between them. Emilia may be too busy to really interact much with the twin maids but she was not blind. There was always a certain tension between Alex and Rem. While the knight got along pretty well with Ram, Rem was another story.
'Maybe they are going to solve their differences.' Emilia thought as she left the dining room.
After her exit there was only silence between them. Alex swallowed his food and wiped his mouth. "Alright, what did you want to talk about?"
"... Was Rem that obvious?"
"No, but what else could you be thinking right now?" Alex asked rhetorically with chuckle "You're like your sister, you must have found my presence to be... irritating. Especially the witch stench lingering around me."
Rem eyes widened slightly "Alex-sama knew?"
"Of course, it was not obvious but the clues you left were enough." Alex chuckled "Ram didn't tell you I see..." He murmured absentmindedly. He briefly wondered why but then dismissed it. Ram probably wanted him to talk with Rem on his own. "Unfortunately I can't tell you why I smell like the Witch. Literally can't."
"Can't?" Rem asked while tilting her head "What does Alex-sama mean exactly?"
Alex pursed his lips, his mind trying to formulate the proper words to explain his condition. "I can't tell you my reason –I can't say it. However, it is safe that I am bound by certain conditions. Similar to a cur-"
BA DUMP!
His fork slipped his fingers as his eyes widened in pain. His hand flew to his chest as he felt something literally brush over his heart. An icy cold settled over the organ, like a dagger poised to strike. The simple touch was enough to make him seize up.
"Alex-sama?!" Rem immediately went to his side, noticing him clutching his chest 'The witch's stench!'
It was small, barely noticeable, but there was no doubt. Like a flash of light, the smell magnified briefly before fading away.
'What was that?! A warning?! The condition should only trigger when I tell someone about Return by Death, just mentioning the curse should not have such consequences!'
In the show, Subaru got killed when he started to talk about Return by Death, other than that, the Curse did not seem to care about anything. So why? Why did it prevent him from even talking about being cursed?
Could it be the Curse adapted to him? Or did Subaru just never try it in the show?
'Clever bitch.' Alex grit his teeth in anger as he regained his breath "Rem..." He called with a serious voice.
The blue haired oni was tense but nonetheless answered his call. "Yes?"
"Trust me, I would tell you if I could. You saw what just happened a moment ago." Alex said, choosing his words carefully "I can't speak of anything relating to this, but trust me, if I wanted to harm you or Ram, I already had many chances to do so."
Rem bit her lips, her eyes filled with uncertainty. She could not find it in her to accuse the knight of lying, he was right.
She trusted him when he went out alone with his sister... and the trust was not betrayed or misled...
"Why?" Rem found herself asking that "Why Alex-sama-"
"Before I answer that, let me ask you first." Alex cut her as he finally regained his composure "The question, did you ask both of them?"
Rem mind went blank for a moment, her thoughts drifting back to the previous morning.
***
"Aaaaah, that is a veeeery interesting queeestiooon." Roswaal said with an intrigued smile. "Weeell, for meeee, I personally choose the first of courseee! Why? Becaausee there is nothing fuuun to see someone always accompliiish their objective. It will feeel good for a momeeeent but in the long ruuun? It is sooo boooring."
***
"It is the first of course." Ram answered "While it indeed is good to have everything go your way, if you keep succeeding then you will find things soon become... meaningless."
***
"... Rem doesn't understand..." Ram muttered aloud, her face clearly disturbed. "How? Why? Why would Roswaal-sama and Nee-sama... they are so perfect, so why their views..."
"Because in a sense, perfection is ugly." Alex solemnly said. "When you reach perfection you will realize that you will stop growing. You become stagnant. You stop moving forward. The driving force that made you so effective... the force that made you beautiful, will be gone." He stared at the shocked Rem, her eyes wide and filled with disbelief. "Tell me Rem, aren't you sick of the way you live?"
Rem's eyes narrowed to slits, her confusion gone. The knight realized he had just touched on a very sensitive spot.
"I do not mean working here, I mean your state of mind." He said, poking his forehead with his thumb to emphasize the point. "You work every day, thinking you should be perfect, that you should be the best. Mind you, not that this attitude is wrong, but you are misguided. The person you are doing all of this for does not care about it." He tilted his head to stare at her. Her head was bowed, hair shadowing her eyes. "That was a very ugly sight to see."
Rem was silent, her body did not move, not even a twitch. Her face remained unseen due to her hair. The blond watched on as her shoulder began to shake, her fists clenched, knuckle turning white.
"You don't understand..."
There was no politeness in her voice, no respect, but clear hostility. Just like Ram spoke to him earlier, when he pushed her the same way.
"No I don't. I don't even know what happened." Alex admitted in a blank tone of voice.
Blue eyes snapped up to glare at him. Her pristine face marred with fury. Despite her beauty, Alex could clearly see the girl as the creature she was capable of becoming. This was not the sweet Maid known as Rem; this was the Demon that would mercilessly continue to crush to crying, begging Subaru just because of her hatred to Witch Cult.
He was one of the many that favored Rem over Emilia. Seeing the relentless loyalty and love she showed for Subaru deeply moved him. Episode 15 touched his heart, seeing Rem dragging her own broken body towards his chained form, freeing him at the cost of her own life.
But this... this... this reminded him of her other side.
It made him realize that truth really was stranger than fiction. To experience meeting her like this…
Alex could understand why Subaru still loved Emilia, despite the devotion the girl in front of him continued to show. Despite her giving her everything to him.
Because deep down inside Subaru's heart, so deep he may not even realize it, he was still terrified of Rem. Part of him will always remember that this sweet, loyal girl brutally murdered and tortured him on several occasions.
And Emilia... Emilia had never done anything to him. Even when Subaru knew she was angry with him when he was being an ignorant idiot in the capital, she never raised a finger against him.
This was Alex's conclusion as to why Subaru still chose Emilia as his main priority, despite also showing signs of slowly falling for Rem.
And it made him understand why Subaru cannot be blamed fully for his decision, Death always leaves its scars after all.
"You don't understand, yet you dare talk about my life?!" Rem growled, her blue eyes filled with a menacing glint "You-"
"But I do understand what is happening right now." Alex was calm and collected as he cut her off. "You Rem, need to stop this farce. You are hurting Ram."
And just like that, all of Rem's fury vanished, like it was never there in the first place. Her malevolent expression was replaced by pure shock, her mind became blank. She stared at the knight who returned a solemn look.
"W-What do you mean?" Rem asked, her voice dry.
"Has it ever crossed your mind that whatever you do, Ram never asked you to work like this?"
"Of course it did! But it doesn't matter! It was Rem's fault-"
"How do you think Ram felt when she saw you working so hard?"
Rem found herself frozen once again, but Alex was relentless.
"You are the younger sibling, so perhaps you did not realize." Alex closed his eyes and relaxed into his seat "But Ram is hurting when she sees you push yourself too hard."
"What do you know?" Rem asked with a glare "How can you-"
"Because I also have a little sister!" Alex snapped at her, for once there was genuine irritation in his green eyes.
Rem breath got caught in her throat. How could she forget about that? She remembered how he nearly broke only a few days ago when he was reminded of her.
"Nee-sama never looked hurt..." She spoke with a raspy voice.
"Of course she did not. What kind of older sibling would show their pain in front of their younger sister?" Alex said with a snort. "Do you know why we are born first?" He asked softly. "It's because we have to protect the little ones that come after us."
"How do you think Ram felt when she saw you push yourself? Hurt yourself? Exhaust yourself? Even worse, she could not do anything to help you, at all..."
There was no need for lies and he did not try to make Rem feel bad. It was all true. Ram did not care about Rem trying to become perfect for her sake, she only cared for Rem's happiness. Ever since they were children, that was all Ram cared about. He had seen it, never once had Ram even been angry at Rem. He saw her howling in desperation when Rem succumbed to the curse. Saw her forsake everything, ignoring even Roswaal's orders, for the sake of avenging her Rem.
And still, Rem did not realize it. She was blind to Ram's love, too focused on improving herself, shouldering the world on her own, hurting Ram in the process.
Because never even once had Ram blamed Rem for what happened that night...
Rem felt like a block of ice had been shoved down her stomach at hearing this. Was it true? Was Nee-sama really hurting like this from watching her work? Was she too blind, too selfish to even see what was in front of her?
She started to remember the looks of concern, her elder sister telling her not to push herself. She remembered brushing it all away with a smile, telling her she was fine.
'It's... it is true...isn't it?' She thought somberly as her face turned to the floor, eyes showing nothing but pain reflection.
It was obvious, how could she not see it in the first place? This man in front of her was absolutely right. She did this! She did all of this! She did everything for her big sister's sake! And also for her own! She did that because she knew that was how Nee-sama should be! Everything is perfect and absolute! That was how Nee-sama was supposed to be!
But she isn't... she's not perfect. She can't be like Nee-sama no matter how hard she tries. Rem felt disgusted at herself. At the Pain she caused to her Nee-sama.
"Everything I have done... everything I did..." Rem's voice was filled with anguish and pain, she did not realize that she had fallen to her knees, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. The realization hit her like a hammer.
Had everything she had done to this day accomplished nothing but causing more pain for her big sister?
"Not really."
A gentle voice brought Rem out of her stupor. The man who showed her the cruel reality of her action was no longer sitting in his chair, instead kneeling by her side. His once uncaring, cold emerald eyes were now filled with warmth.
"It hurts Ram seeing you push yourself too hard, picking up her slack." His hand rose and caressed her cheek, wiping the tears from her eyes. "But, do you know why she permitted you to do so? Why didn't she tell you to stop?" His lips curled upwards, showing a small smile. "Because she found you beautiful."
"B...Beautiful?" Ram croaked the word with pure confusion "Rem is beautiful?"
"When someone reaches perfection they become stagnant and immovable. They become disappointed, because that's it. They will no longer move forward, the spark within them will slowly extinguish.
"True, people may enjoy it. They will cherish it, bask in its remaining glow even. However, eventually they will forget it."
That was human nature. We are negative creatures. The majority of people will always remember bad times over good ones. When facing despair they tend to succumb to hopelessness. They forget that they have survived worse things in the past. Everyone has to face their own demons eventually.
Their minds are clouded with worry and fear, ending them before they ever reach the perfection they strived for.
"But you Rem are beautiful. Why? Because of the way you work so hard, because of the ideals that drive you on, the desire to overcome the flaws inside you, is truly beautiful. It shows your true beauty in ways that can never be replicated."
The people who are shrouded in dark emotions will remember that not everything is always bad. When they find their inspiration, the fire that enlightens their spirits will burn once more.
And those fires... that drive them to achieve perfection, is what makes them truly beautiful.
"And wouldn't it be more beautiful if you did this not only for Ram's sake but for your own as well?" Alex asked. "You deserve better than this."
"Rem does not!" Rem instantly denied, tears streaming down from her eyes. "Rem felt so happy when Nee-sama lost her horn! Rem is nothing but a failed copy of her! A failed substitute! Compared to her Rem is-"
"The one who cares for the people in this house. The one who fills my greedy stomach," Alex cut her off with a smile. The girl's eyes widened. "The one who does the most work out of anyone living here, even teaching my lost self about this continent."
Rem bit her lips, eyes glancing down. "It doesn't mean anything. It is Rem's duty to take care of the house, and Alex-sama is smart enough to learn anything with ease."
*****
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