I blinked a few times before eventually opening my eyes. I found myself lying on a comforting, soft mattress.
Unfamiliar with the environment, I began raising my feet. I noticed that I was still in my raven form, only that my body was neatly wrapped in a bandage. No matter how hard I tried, my bones refused to shift, preventing me from returning to my human body.
Suddenly, a sight before me caught me by surprise, causing me to rise and stand on guard. A child with flowing white hair spoke to me, having awakened, perhaps, by the sounds of my flapping wings.
"Ah, you're awake," he said, addressing me. "What do you think? Is your body still hurting?"
He is a fool. I am obviously a raven. Why would he speak to a raven when it is clear that animals cannot respond? Although I am not precisely an animal, I remained unresponsive, acting as any normal raven would.
"From the look of it, you may recover in about a week or so," he said with a relieved smile.
The Child raised his hand towards me, and at first, it seemed as if he was going to strike me, as anyone else might, but I guessed wrong. Instead, he offered a gentle pat on my head.
When was the last time I had felt such tender caresses? I wondered to myself.
"Let's go outside and see if you can fly already," he suggested, lifting me up and cradling me gently in his arms.
As we walked outside, the surroundings presented a clear distinction to The Grim City. Mountains enveloped the buildings, and every tree whispered softly in passing moments. The people we encountered donned similar attire.
Could it be that I am in the QingShan Sect?
The Child gently placed me on the ground and encouraged me, "Go on. Try to fly."
I flapped my wings, enduring a brief moment of pain before my feet left the ground. However the ache in my wings grew, causing me to fall.
Midway through my descent, The Child hastily caught me in his arms.
"This won't do. It seems you still need time before you can fly properly," he commented.
Upon returning to the room, he offered me a few seeds and grains, but I pushed them away with my feet as I had no need for nourishment of that kind.
"Do you not like it? Should I bring berries and fruits instead?" He asked, yet I remained inert.
He sighed and sat beside me, silently gazing up at the sky, just as I did.
"Back in my homeland, I once managed to tame an eagle. But the eagle ran away during the catastrophe. Looking at you now reminds me of those good times," he said, wearing a peaceful smile.
I did not like it, but for some reason, I couldn't help but listen to his ramblings.
"Ah, my name is Damu Lan. I'm thinking of keeping you as my pet. But I'll have to ask my master first..."
The Child—Damu Lan, as he introduced himself—conversed with me, a raven.
"I'll ask him later! But before that, what should I name you? Hmm..." He pondered for a few minutes before exclaiming, "Ah! Mo Yun!"
"Mo, as in ink, and Yun, as in cloud. You are as black as ink, and you would soar through the clouds. It suits you!"
Good enough. I despised my current name anyway, the one bearing the Bai family name. The name uttered by Lord Huang in bed. The name cursed by cultivators and common folk alike. Mo Yun will do.
The Child returned to the room after seeking permission, though he did not look as cheerful as he was before.
"Master wouldn't let me keep you," he said. "I pleaded with him to let me keep you until you've recovered, but then I'll have to let you go."
Tears welled up in his eyes.
I am just a raven. Why does such a matter saddened you?
Regardless, I flapped my wings and hopped onto his shoulder.
Why did I care so much for this mere child? I couldn't view him with the same disdain I held for my stepbrother and the children who knew happiness. It was as if I saw loneliness within the depth of his eyes.
As night descended, The Child sat beside me, and together, we gazed at the night sky.
"You really like to look up at the sky," he remarked, his eyes fixed on me.
"I do too. You see, my parents are no longer here, so I try to find them among the stars."
How absurd. A child can be so absurd. Just as I once was.
He lost his parents, so why did he smile so kindly and radiantly? I couldn't understand it.
"Well, I have long since moved on. Everything happens for a reason, after all. There's no use dwelling on it too much," he said as he stood up, picking me up and placing me gently on the bed, then lay himself beside and stared at me.
He said, "Let's sleep and spend as much time together as we can, so when I have to let you go, I won't be as sad." His warm smile never fading.
I liked the affectionate gaze he presented to me. It held nothing but a genuine fondness and attachment. Neither pity nor hatred.
Then I braced myself. It must be so because I am a raven.
Every day I spent with him, the haunting nightmare seemed to cease. Why was that? Could it be because of the Qing Shan Sect's ability to cast away nightmares for the disciples? If so, then, that would benefit me as well.
As I gazed at The Child who was gradually falling into his dream, the final words of the servant that used to serve me back at Lord Huang's manor continued to echo in my ears.
"It's just a matter of time before he finds me filthy and disgusting too," I thought to myself.
Morning arrived. When I steadied myself and regained composure, I realized that the pain in my body had gone completely. With a new strength, I hopped onto the floor and began shifting my form, willing my bones to transform as the fogs around me dissipated.
Initially, I shifted into my adult form, but upon catching sight of the sleeping child, I supposed that he would be frightened by my appearance. And so, I assumed a smaller form, one that was once just as cheerful and lively as him.
I covered the seal on my forehead with another layer of skin, making it invisible to any eyes and I added a substantial quantity of melanin, veiling my piercing crimson eyes.
It was quite a sight. But this appearance will do for a while.
Suddenly, The Child awoke and started panicking when he didn't see me by his side.
"Mo Yun? Where are you?!"
I greeted him, "Damu Lan."
His eyes widened in disbelief as he turned to my call.
He asked, "Who...are you?"
I put on a brief smile, one that had long been absent, because the sight of him at that moment was truly entertaining.
"If I'm walking around in this form, your master will surely allow you to keep me, won't he?" I assured him.
"Mo Yun? You're... a human?!" He gasped.
I nodded and approached, crouching before him.
He was truly a naive child. One that I would easily kill.
He turned his head, "Ah, here, please wear my robe," he offered, extending it to cover my nakedness. I smiled at him, donning the garment.
It was amusing how he became indifferent, not daring to even meet my gaze.
"So, what is your name?" He asked, his hands fidgeting incessantly.
How amusing.
"Mo Yun," I replied.
"That's... the name I gave you..."
"Mo Yun is Mo Yun. Mo Yun is but a mere nobody," I introduced myself. "Damu Lan may call me that if he wishes."
I could see his eyes shimmering with excitement, though he was too bashful to display it openly.
It was amusing.
At that moment, a thought crossed my mind—how would it be if I were to end this child's life? How comical would his expression be at his final moments?
Suddenly, he spoke with excitement, "I know! Let's meet my master and ask his permission for you to stay here. We can study and practice together!"
In that moment, I was reminded of the reason I had come to the Qing Shan Sect in the first place.
"Let's go," I said, a sinister smile played upon my lips as our steps carried us outside.
"You see, my master can be a bit strict, but he is a wonderful person!" The Child exclaimed, walking with a humming enthusiasm.
Then, The Child abruptly halted in his tracks and turned to face me. He asked, "Mo Yun...you're now...my friend, right?"
For an instant, I froze, absorbing his words. He truly was a fool, oblivious to the malice intent I purposely emitted.
Who in their right mind would befriend a conscious devil?
"..."
"Mo Yun?" He called out to me.
"You are right. Since Damu Lan has cared for me during my injury, I suppose we are friends now, if that is what you wish in return," I replied, smiling with a touch of insincerity.
It was a half-hearted reply, yet genuine in its own way. He had tended to my wounds and I would repay him before ending his life.
His eyes beaming with yet another wave of excitement.
Manipulating a child was just that effortless. It was just that easy.
Some time passed and we arrived at the sect's manor. The Child knocked on the door and eventually, we were granted permission to enter.
"Master, a fellow disciple wishes to study and practice alongside me in the Qing Shan Sect," The Child spoke, his expression shifting to one of seriousness and respect as he bowed before his master—an unexpected display that caught me by surprise.
A faint "oh" escaped the master's lips as he turned to look at me. My body immediately stiffened, and I could feel my cold-blood boiling at the scent and sight before me.
"Huang JunJie," I muttered under my breath.
He was a mirror image of his corrupt father, the one who ruined me. His son now held authority over The Child? How ironic. I shall end both of their lives while at it.
Yet, as I curled my hands into fists, preparing to unleash my wrath, The foolish child turned to me. "Mo Yun! Master said you're allowed to stay!"
"Come, introduce yourself!" He exclaimed, eagerly tugging at my hand.
As I faced my nemesis, all of my thoughts flew away. An uneasiness settled within me. Unsettling emotions churned, forming a knot in my stomach.
I felt sick.
"What is your name?" He—Huang JunJie asked.
He was a spitting image of his father, and I found myself unable to look at him.
"...Mo Yun," I replied, mustering my strength as my voice trembled with...fear.
He then greeted me with a warm smile and said, "Welcome to the Qing Shan Sect. I will leave you in Damu Lan's care."
The Child beamed with happiness once again upon hearing his master's words.
"I...thank you for accepting me," I muttered insincerely, bowing, but no response came forth.
"Mo Yun... 'Master'," The Child whispered to me.
I reluctantly repeated, "I thank Master Huang, the sect leader for accepting me into the sect."
I despised it. I loathed the name. I detested his gaze.
I abhorred his scent. The room reeked with the lingering aroma of the incense burner Lord Huang had used before spending the night with me.
It was repugnant.
Upon stepping outside, a long, pent-up breath escaped my lips, relieving the tension I had held within.
Inside, I had desperately suppressed my breath to avoid the scent of the incense burner.
"Now, I have someone to converse with!" The Child exclaimed joyfully.
I remained silent as we made our way back though the silence only lasted until we walked past two disciples.
"Damu Lan, good morning," another child greeted him.
"Jin An, good morning...!" The Child, Damu Lan fidgeted uneasily, his cheeks flushing with a tinge of red, avoiding direct eye contact.
"You're still as shy as ever, huh? Zhang XiYi, don't just stand there, say something!" The child called Jin An urged.
Another child Jin An referred to as Zhang XiYi hesitated for a moment before speaking up, "Huh, what am I supposed to say to a bashful kid who can't even raise his hand when called? Jin An, stop wasting your time on him just because we study under the same master."
"It's precisely because we study under the same master that I care for him! It's only natural for us to support and guide each other," Jin An replied with conviction.
Jin An then turned towards me, and asked, "Ah, are you new here? What's your name?"
"Mo Yun," I replied.
"Only that? Where do you come from?" He probed.
"Mo Yun is Mo Yun. Mo Yun is but a mere nobody," I stated, keeping my answer deliberately vague.
"Uh...that didn't really answer my question, did it?"
While the child named Jin An didn't bother me, I couldn't say the same about the one with the name Zhang XiYi.
He regarded us with an air of superiority, his gaze implying that he deemed himself superior.
I despised people who carried such pride.
I instinctively glared at him, and he returned the gaze, scanning me up and down.
"How disrespectful. You're still new here and yet you dare to glare at your senior disciple?" Zhang XiYi remarked, addressing me directly.
"Just because I entered later than you, does that involuntarily make me a junior disciple?" I sneered, unwilling to back down.
Why would I?
"Wait—Mo Yun?"
I watched as Zhang XiYi unsheathed his sword, his teeth gritting with determination as he charged toward me. His sword energy surged and ready to land on me.
With my right hand, I caught the point of his blade between two of my fingers, effortlessly snapping it in half afterwards. It happened in an instant, showcasing the vast difference in our strength.
I am much older than any of you, children. Brace yourself.
Disappointment and disbelief filled Zhang XiYi's face as he surveyed his broken sword.
"To dare charge at a junior disciple who doesn't even possess a sword? How impudent," I coldly remarked to him.
He glared at me with a spiteful gaze and muttered, "You will see!" before collecting the pieces of his shattered blade and storming off.
"XiYi, wait for me!" Jin An quickly ran after him.
"Mo Yun... you're so strong! Nobody within the sect ever managed to catch his blade!" The Child exclaimed, his eyes already brimming with admiration.
I settled into my dorm room provided by the sect. Each disciple of the Qing Shan Sect was granted their own personal space and essential provisions.
As expected of the most wealthy master of the Huang family.
However, a rule was in place that prohibited entry into another disciples' room after sunset, presumably for disciplinary purposes.
Even though the previous master would enter my room and ruin me once the sun sets.
It was absurd. I had been so determined to seek revenge for myself yet when faced with my nemesis, I lost all my courage. How cowardice of me.
Deciding to rest for the night, I soon found myself haunted by the nightmare once again. The dreadful scenes replayed, the faces of those I had killed contorted, tainted with black and red blood mixed altogether, suffocating the life out of me. I gasped for air, trapped in an endless abyss, unable to grasp onto anything to alleviate my torment.
The pain was unbearable. It gnawed at me relentlessly. It was painful. It hurts so much.
Not long after falling asleep, I woke up abruptly. The night was still young. Then, it dawned on me that the reason the nightmares had ceased for a time must have been related to The Child. The Child must be the sole reason for my respite.
With that thought in mind, I made the decision to head to his room. The window wasn't tightly shut, allowing me to open it quietly and slip inside.
"Mo Yun? What are you doing here?!" It seemed that I had awakened him.
"I couldn't sleep, so I came here,"
"That won't do! You'll be punished if anyone sees you," he admonished.
"I can leave as a raven, then it should be fine, right?"
"No, I can't allow that! Master entrusted you in my care, which means I have to discipline you as well. Go back to your room! You're not a raven, so we can't sleep together," The Child insisted, urging me out of the room.
I found myself growing nervous as he pushed me away. Sweat formed on my brow as the remnants of the nightmare playing in my mind, causing me to impulsively plead, "Just until dawn!"
The Child paused, listening to what I had to say, and in that moment, I caught my breath and composed myself.
"I will leave before dawn. Just a short while before the break of dawn," I assured him.
"That way, no one will notice," I added, seeking to ease his concerns.
It felt as though I had heard of those very words before. Where had I heard them? I couldn't recall.
The Child sighed and returned to his bed, tapping the space beside him.
"Just this once," he relented.
I lay down beside him, our faces turned toward each other as he drifted back to sleep.
I couldn't help but notice the length of his eyelashes, longer than my own, with a mixture of black and white. It was an odd sight, yet strangely... pleasing.
"Damu Lan," I called out to him, though there was no response.
He must have been sleeping soundly. And so, I slept.
I woke up just before the break of dawn. It was the right choice. The nightmares did not plague me as I slept by his side.
It was the most peaceful sleep I had experienced in what felt like an eternity.
I looked at The Child, his serene slumber stirring conflicted emotions within me.
I didn't like how peacefully he slept, tempting me to end his life right then and there. But, as I reached out to do so, The Child's hand unconsciously grasped mine.
"It's okay, Mo Yun... I'm here," he mumbled.
What nonsense was he dreaming about?
He was a fool, completely oblivious to the danger that loomed over him. I should end his life before the world becomes too cruel to bear for him.
Or so I thought.
In the end, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Before dawn, I left his room and immediately returned to the Grim City.
"Welcome back, my lord," Yin Xuan greeted me. "How was your 'trip'?" he asked.
Walking toward my table, I began writing my diary, impulsively jotting down my experiences as I always did. Whenever I returned from somewhere, it was customary for me to document what had occured, be it something of significance or nothing at all.
"I met a child," I began, sharing with Yin Xuan the events that had happened, while simultaneously putting brush to paper.
After he listened earnestly, he asked, "Are you planning something, then?"
"I suppose I should destroy the sect and eliminate the rest of the people, keeping only The Child with me in the Grim City," I confided.
"It would serve a dual purpose. I would achieve my revenge, and having him by my side, I would rid myself of the nightmare," I continued.
"I will get rid of The Child when I learn what trick he was using to get rid of nightmares."
Yin Xuan simply listened.
Somehow, I couldn't see what expression he wore behind the mask.
"Yin Xuan?" I called out.
"Yes, my lord?"
It was strange to me that he didn't comment on my plan, but it didn't bother me, so I carried on writing, drowning in my thoughts.
"Nothing."