||SAXON||
We weren't as close as I would have liked. I had no idea what had happened or when it'd started, but somehow, Niki had begun putting space between us, erecting a wall. I was confused because I don't recall doing anything wrong. And even if I had, it wasn't like I was so proud I couldn't try making it up to him.
We were brothers and at some point, he was the best thing in my life. And for as long as I lived, I'd like to believe that feeling went both ways. I couldn't be sure as of now. Since his every action seemed to carry hate across for me.
Anyway, he'd been trying to make it clear how much he wanted nothing to do with me by dropping little hints. And it wasn't like I was completely dumb. If anything, slamming the door in my face yesterday showed how little care he held. I would have played it off as my wild imagination but I had seen how quickly the smile he'd had on disappeared as soon as he noticed I was in his peripheral.
There was no other logical explanation. He was annoyed and angry. At me.
But whatever did I do?
I decided to think about that later and focus on the mathematical problems in front of me. The secondary source of my agitation. It would have been great if Niki had just been able to help me with this shit.
It'd barely take him two minutes. I, on the other hand, had already felt the rotation of every single wheel in my brain. I was battling with this phenomenal issue when my door swung open.
Niki staggered in before leaning against the doorframe and giving a smile so dazzling I was tempted to believe these equations were making me hallucinate.
For someone who didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me, anyone could imagine my disbelief on seeing he came to seek me of his own volition.
"Did you need something?" It took a lot to force my words to come out that calmly, the only sign of my unease being carried out on the pen being squeezed between my fingers.
He huffed before letting himself in and leaning against the door he'd just shut.
I waited.
"Axxie."
I blinked dumbly, gaze watering in disbelief. I couldn't even remember the last time he'd addressed me that way. Would things go back to normal then?
"Am I ugly?" He suddenly mused, plunking down to the floor and tucking his chin to his arms crossed on his knees.
"Uh, no?" This was the last thing I'd been expecting from him.
"Then, I'm definitely inferior, right?" His mouth quivered just the tiniest bit before he suddenly went off on a tangent. "Regretful... so regretful. Should've just shut up. Now, I... no face... see her again."
Did he get rejected?
What am I supposed to do? Say?
"Well," I murmured, twiddling my fingers and trying to gauge his reaction to my words out of the corner of my eyes. "Perhaps it's not necessarily you. Maybe you're not her type?"
"Bullshit," He suddenly roared, jumping to his feet and stomping towards my bed. "I'm everyone's type." I would have snorted my way into laughter if it wasn't for him suddenly wobbling and falling to thunk his head against the bed post, promptly crying out, "Ah... my head... hurts..."
I hurried over, helping him sit up on the surface and catching a whiff of what suddenly made everything fall into place.
Niki was fucking drunk.
He was probably going to regret all this in the morning. All of a sudden, the hope I had... suddenly seemed nonexistent.
"Let me get you a cold compress," I left him muttering something about the jinx of a confession gone wrong but returned soon after with a tall glass of water and the cold compress. Only to see him blubbering his "heartache" into my pillow.
I fucking just washed that.
"Here, Niks," I nudged them into his hand. "Are you okay?"
"No," He seemed a tad bit calmer after downing half the tall glass of water, rubbing at the rim of the glass forlornly. "I really like her."
I just squeezed with the hand already resting on his knee, going the easy route of not saying anything at all since I didn't even know how to give comfort in situations like this.
"I'm going to sleep," He huffed again before clambering, starfish position, into my bed. He'd regret waking up sober in my room but I couldn't really bring myself to send him to his.
"Fine, go to sleep. I'll join you in a bit," I went to tidy up my desk since I'd already showered for the night. The sleeping arrangements posed a problem. Something I'd never thought possible since four people could comfortably lie in there.
"Evil, begone," He pronounced, deftly kicking me in my shin when I tried to climb in on the other side.
I stumbled back, rubbing furiously at my hurt side and then staring at hum. "The hell do you think you're doing?" I snorted.
However, no matter what tactic I used to try and get into bed, I always ended up getting kicked off and away. The icing on the cake- fondant, since it wasn't anything good to begin with- was when Niki fucking started muttering something about crazy terrorists who stole other people's residences.
The room and bed was mine to begin with, okay?
Needless to say, I ended up getting evicted to the cramped beanbag stowed away against the wall.
This twin of mine was undoubtedly crazy whether sober or soused. Period.
~
Nigel was still peacefully slumbering away when I woke up so I just carried on with my own activities, heading to the bathroom to freshen up. I should probably work some more on that mathematical assignment since I didn't have to go to school today.
Yeah, I'll just do that.
Nigel was up by the time I stepped out clad in my most comfortable wear, clearing his throat in discomfort and looking around drowsily.
"Have some water first," I helpfully handed over the glass of water and aspirin I'd brought up earlier.
He took it before acknowledging that someone had put that in his hands and then squinting up at me. His face instantly contorting in a scowl.
"The fuck are you doing in my room?" He groaned, putting the glass away and then burying his face in his palm.
I pursed my lip speechlessly upon remembering how I had been unjustly evicted from my own bed.
"You're still drunk, aren't you?" I snorted as I made my way over to my desk, slipping over the leaflet that I'd probably need the whole of next week to tackle. "Just what part of this even looks like your room?" No offense but that place was hideous. I'd love to keep my head so I obviously would never be saying that.
He looked around blankly for a while before sighing and leaning back to hit his head against the headboard with a small thud.
Was he trying to get a concussion?
Mom and dad had gone out. And I didn't even know the route to any hospital. He'd only be putting himself in great peril.
"Aren't you going to get ready for school?" I asked, keeping the sheet away and watching him scowl with annoyed eyes.
"Not going," He huffed before closing his eyes, expression now looking a tad pained.
I was speechless once again. Did all break ups now warrant a day of inactivity the following day after?
"Oh, Mom wants us to stop by the supermarket," I divulged.
"Aren't you the one with a car?" I wasn't sure if I actually heard a tinge of bitterness in his voice or not.
"I don't know the route," I muttered with a sheepish look.
"Don't you know what a GPS is?" He scoffed and I was momentarily unable to tell if the little upward quirk of his lips were a trick of the light or not.
"I don't, uh, know how to operate one?" I explained.
He snorted but said nothing, leaving me to take that as tacit agreement. Perhaps he was in a good enough mood for me to...
"Hey, Niki," Shit, that slipped out too naturally. "Do you think you could help me with-"
"Saxon," I had kind of figured that Axxie was for only drunk Niki by now. His eyes were swirling with unbridled disdain as he slipped out of the bed and started making his way over to the door.
"...Yeah?" Even though I responded, no part of me was willing to find out what he wanted to impart. That tone definitely didn't want to bestow anything good.
"Don't try to push it." The door slammed shut behind him after that, leaving me to stare forlornly at my assignment sheets.
But, of course.
What exactly was still salvageable of our already decayed relationship?