Chapter 5 - SAMWSH Chapter 5: Panty Raid of Destiny!

George slumped over his plate of half-eaten food, a sigh escaping his lips as he poked aimlessly at the now-cold sausage links. The tavern bustled around him, filled with cheerful patrons enjoying their meals and drinks, yet George felt completely disconnected. On one side sat his Amazon wife, her muscular arm resting possessively across his shoulders, while on the other side, Amy, the crazy magical girl stalker, hummed a tune while chomping on a bread roll.

"This can't be my life," George thought as he shoved another bite of sausage into his mouth.

"I feel like I'm living in a bad parody of all those isekai stories," he mumbled.

"You say something, dear?" The Amazon's low, husky voice snapped him out of his inner lament. She leaned closer, causing her massive chest to press against his arm, an action that had become an all-too-frequent occurrence in the past few days.

"Uh, n-no, nothing," George stammered, pushing his plate away and trying to lean away from her. But there was nowhere to go. The Amazon had him in a vice grip, and Amy wasn't any better.

"You look depressed, Georgie! Are you thinking about how much you want to see me naked?" Amy teased, her mischievous smile plastered on her face as she licked some sauce off her fingers.

George groaned inwardly. He didn't have the energy to deal with Amy's usual antics.

Before he could muster a response, a shadow fell over their table. A cloaked figure stood before them, their face obscured by the hood. The noise of the tavern seemed to quiet down as the figure slowly reached into their robe and pulled out a scroll.

"George Anderson?" the figure asked in a low, gravelly voice.

George blinked, taken aback by the sudden shift in atmosphere. "Uh… yeah, that's me."

The figure dropped the scroll onto the table with a heavy thud, causing the silverware to clatter. "I have a quest for you."

George stared at the scroll, then at the cloaked figure. "A… quest? For me?"

The Amazon's eyes lit up with interest. "A quest? Tell us more." She leaned forward, her muscles rippling under her armor.

Amy's eyes gleamed with excitement as she leaned in too, practically bouncing in her seat. "Oooh! Is it dangerous? Does it involve explosions? I love explosions!"

The cloaked figure remained silent for a moment before finally speaking. "Retrieve the *Golden Panties of Eternal Youth* from the *Maid Café Dungeon*."

George nearly spat out his drink. "The *Golden Panties* of what now?"

Amy snickered, barely able to contain her laughter. "Golden Panties? Oh my god, George, this quest was made for you! Hahaha!"

George shot her an annoyed look, but the figure continued. "The *Golden Panties of Eternal Youth* are a legendary treasure said to grant the wearer eternal beauty and power. Many have tried to claim them, but none have returned from the *Maid Café Dungeon*. It is filled with traps, illusions, and dangerous maids who will do anything to protect the treasure."

The Amazon's eyes widened with excitement. "Eternal youth? That would make me an even stronger warrior!" She grabbed George's arm with renewed enthusiasm. "We must go, husband! This is a quest worthy of us!"

George groaned. "I don't think I'm cut out for a 'panty quest.' Maybe you two should just..."

"Nonsense! You will lead us to victory!" the Amazon boomed, already standing up and towering over him.

Amy was bouncing in her seat again, grinning from ear to ear. "This is gonna be so much fun! Come on, Georgie, let's go see some panties!"

Before George could protest, the Amazon grabbed him by the arm and dragged him to his feet. "Come, husband. We leave immediately!"

The *Maid Café Dungeon* was nothing like George had expected. Standing before it, the dungeon looked like a pastel-colored café straight out of an anime, with heart-shaped windows and statues of smiling maids holding trays of sweets. The walls were painted in soft pinks and blues, with glittering sparkles accenting every corner.

"This… is the dungeon?" George asked, incredulous.

Amy giggled. "Aww, how cute! I bet you're already excited, huh, George?"

"Excited is not the word I'd use…"

The Amazon cracked her knuckles, her eyes gleaming with anticipation. "It may look harmless, but don't let appearances fool you. There is great power hidden here."

As the trio entered, they were greeted by a robotic maid at the entrance. She bowed deeply, her mechanical voice chirping, "Welcome, Masters! May I offer you some magical drinks to enhance your experience?"

George raised an eyebrow. "Magical drinks?"

The Amazon shook her head. "It's a trap."

Amy grinned. "Awww, too bad. I wanted to see George drink something weird and turn into a bunny or something."

The robotic maid didn't respond but simply pointed them down a hallway adorned with pictures of cute, smiling maids in various poses.

"Why do I feel like we're walking into some kind of twisted fever dream?" George muttered.

"Because you probably are!" Amy giggled, skipping ahead.

As they ventured deeper into the dungeon, things quickly took a turn for the strange. The walls began to shimmer, and George could swear the maid portraits were watching him. Every time he looked away, they seemed to wink at him, their eyes following his every move.

"I don't like this," he whispered to himself.

Suddenly, without warning, the floor beneath them shifted, and a trap was triggered. An explosion of panties shot up from hidden compartments in the floor, floating through the air like a cloud of seductive lingerie.

George's eyes widened in horror as the enchanted panties zoomed toward him, wrapping around his face and body, blinding him. He stumbled back, swatting at the air as the panties tightened their grip.

"They're everywhere!" George shouted, his voice muffled by the fabric.

The Amazon was already punching her way through the floating panties, tearing them apart with her bare hands. "Do not fear, husband! I will protect you from these vile garments!"

Amy, laughing uncontrollably, watched from a distance. "Oh my god, this is the best thing I've ever seen! George versus enchanted panties!"

As George struggled, the panties began to glow, and he suddenly found himself surrounded by illusions. Waifus appeared out of nowhere, all wearing skimpy outfits and gazing at him adoringly. They called him "Master," their voices soft and seductive.

George's eyes darted around. "What the hell is this?!"

The illusions closed in, batting their eyelashes and giggling. "Master, don't you want to be with us?"

"NO, I DO NOT!"

Just as George was about to be overwhelmed by the panty waifus, the Amazon ripped the enchanted underwear off his face, tearing through the illusions with sheer brute force.

"No waifu shall steal my husband!" she roared, tossing the magical panties aside.

George gasped for air, trying to collect himself. "This… this place is insane."

Amy skipped over to him, still giggling. "Don't worry, Georgie, we've only just started. There's probably way crazier stuff up ahead!"

George sighed in defeat, knowing that he was in for another absurd adventure whether he liked it or not.

George tried to shake off the lingering effects of the illusions, rubbing his eyes as the waifus vanished. His heart was still pounding, and he couldn't believe that he had nearly been taken down by a bunch of enchanted underwear. He glanced back at the floating panties scattered around the corridor, still glowing faintly as they drifted to the ground.

"I hate this place," George muttered, his face still flushed with embarrassment.

Amy bounced up beside him, her cheeks still flushed with laughter. "I dunno, Georgie. Looks like this dungeon's tailor-made for you! Get it? Tailor-made?"

The Amazon ignored Amy's quip, her focus still on the path ahead. "We must remain vigilant. If the panties are this dangerous, I can't imagine what the maids will be like."

George shuddered at the thought. He didn't want to imagine it. "Let's just get this over with."

As they moved deeper into the dungeon, the pastel-colored walls and cute decorations became more elaborate. Now, there were oversized stuffed animals lining the hallways, and the scent of something sweet, like freshly baked cookies, wafted through the air. George's stomach growled despite himself, but he pushed the feeling aside.

"This place is giving me serious mixed signals," George whispered.

Before anyone could respond, the hallway opened into a large chamber that looked like a traditional maid café, if maid cafés were run by demonic spirits with a love for cuteness. The tables were set with heart-shaped plates and glittering teacups, and on the far side of the room was a stage where a group of maids were performing a synchronized dance routine. The music was soft and cute, but there was something deeply unsettling about it.

George took a cautious step forward. "Uh… are we interrupting something?"

The moment his foot touched the floor, the maids stopped mid-dance, their movements freezing in place. Slowly, they turned toward him in unison, their heads tilting unnaturally as their glowing red eyes locked onto him.

"Master," the lead maid said in a robotic tone, her voice devoid of emotion. She was tall, with long twin-tails and a maid outfit that looked a little too tight in certain places. She carried a feather duster over her shoulder, but George had a sinking feeling that she wasn't planning on using it for cleaning.

The rest of the maids echoed in unison, their voices hollow. "Welcome, Master…"

George gulped. "I don't like where this is going."

The lead maid stepped forward, twirling her feather duster like a weapon. "Allow us to serve you… one final time."

Before George could react, the maids charged.

The Amazon let out a battle cry and immediately leaped into action, tackling the closest maid to the ground and knocking over a table in the process. Amy, ever the chaos enthusiast, whipped out her wand and started firing off small explosions, giggling maniacally as maids went flying into walls.

George, however, did what he did best: ran. He ducked behind an overturned table, trying to make himself as small as possible. His heart raced as he heard the sound of battle all around him, maids screeching as the Amazon plowed through them like a wrecking ball.

"I'm not cut out for this!" George whispered to himself, peeking over the table just in time to see a maid swinging a vacuum cleaner like a hammer. The Amazon dodged the attack and responded by tossing the maid across the room with one arm.

As George tried to move from his hiding spot, a gust of wind hit him square in the face. He blinked, confused, until he realized that one of the maids had used her feather duster to blast him with wind magic. The force of the wind was strong enough to lift the maid's skirt, giving George an involuntary full view of her lace-trimmed panties.

"Oh, for the love of..." George stammered, turning bright red as he looked away.

The maid grinned mischievously, clearly noticing George's reaction. "Does Master like what he sees?"

Before George could respond, another gust of wind from the maid's feather duster hit him, sending him stumbling backward. This time, the maid's entire outfit seemed to react, as if designed to torment him further. The wind blew her skirt up higher, revealing even more, and George felt his face heat up to an unbearable level.

"Not again…" George groaned, trying to shield his eyes.

The Amazon noticed George's predicament and, with a growl, charged the maid, tackling her to the ground. The force of the blow sent the maid's feather duster flying across the room, landing at George's feet.

As the chaos continued, George picked up the feather duster, holding it gingerly as if it might explode in his hands. "Why does everything in this dungeon have to be so… embarrassing?"

"You tell me, Georgie!" Amy called out as she sent another maid flying with an explosive blast. She grinned as she joined him behind the overturned table. "You look flustered! Did you enjoy the view?"

"I did not!" George snapped, still holding the feather duster awkwardly. "This is a nightmare."

Amy leaned in close, her grin widening. "Oh, come on. I bet you've fantasized about something like this at least once."

George opened his mouth to retort, but before he could, the lead maid from the stage descended upon them, her red eyes glowing ominously. "You will not escape our service, Master."

With a flick of her wrist, she unleashed a powerful gust of wind from her feather duster, sending both George and Amy tumbling across the room. George skidded to a stop, landing flat on his back. Above him, the lead maid stood, her skirt billowing from the gust of wind.

George groaned, barely managing to shield his eyes again as she smirked down at him.

"We know your weakness, Master," the lead maid purred, her voice suddenly dripping with a seductive tone. "Perhaps you would enjoy a little… demonstration."

With a theatrical twirl, she lifted her skirt high, flashing George her frilly black panties. His heart practically stopped.

"Oh no…" George muttered, feeling his face burn as she leaned down, her eyes never leaving his.

"We will serve you well," she whispered, her breath hot against his ear. "In every way imaginable."

Just as George thought he was about to pass out from sheer embarrassment, the Amazon roared from across the room, charging at the lead maid with the force of a stampede. "Get away from my husband!"

The lead maid barely had time to react before the Amazon tackled her into the far wall, sending cracks through the stone. The maid collapsed, her feather duster falling limply to the floor.

George lay there, dazed and blinking up at the ceiling. "I'm… I'm going to die of embarrassment."

Amy strolled over, giggling uncontrollably. "You're so predictable, Georgie. Did you at least enjoy the show?"

George didn't have the energy to respond. He just groaned and covered his face with his hands.

George sat up slowly, his head spinning from all the chaos. The Amazon was already brushing herself off after taking down the lead maid, her large form towering over him protectively.

"Husband, you must be more careful. You can't let mere maids seduce you into weakness," the Amazon scolded, her tone both concerned and frustrated.

George groaned, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not like I wanted to be seduced. This place is cursed!"

Amy twirled her wand between her fingers, a mischievous smile never leaving her face. "You love it, Georgie. Admit it."

Before George could respond, the sound of slow clapping echoed through the room. The trio turned toward the far end of the chamber, where a grand pair of ornate double doors began to swing open. A soft pink glow spilled out, accompanied by the sweet scent of cherry blossoms and sugar.

Emerging from the light, a figure floated gracefully into the room, her long twin-tails trailing behind her like ribbons. Her maid outfit was impossibly detailed, adorned with lace and ribbons, and her eyes gleamed with a mischievous glint. Her entire aura radiated power, and her voice was as sweet as honey, though laced with venom.

"Welcome, foolish mortals, to my domain," she purred, her eyes locking onto George. "I am the *Tsundere Maid Queen*, and you… are trespassing."

George felt a chill run down his spine. "Tsundere Maid Queen? Really? We're doing this?"

The Amazon squared her shoulders, stepping in front of George. "If you are the one guarding the *Golden Panties*, then stand aside or be defeated!"

The Tsundere Maid Queen let out a high-pitched laugh, her cheeks flushing red. "Baka! Like I'd let someone like you take what is rightfully mine! Especially not a filthy pervert like *him*!" She pointed directly at George, her face twisting into an embarrassed scowl.

George immediately threw his hands up in defense. "Whoa, whoa, what did I do?"

"Don't play dumb!" she shouted, stomping her foot. "I saw the way you were looking at my maids' panties! You're disgusting!" Her face turned an even brighter shade of red as she tried to maintain her haughty demeanor. "But… I suppose that's to be expected from someone like you…"

The Tsundere Maid Queen twirled her feather duster in the air, summoning a gust of wind that once again lifted her skirt, flashing George a glimpse of her frilly black panties. She grinned as she saw him flinch.

"Oh no, not again!" George moaned, turning his head away.

The Amazon growled, already preparing to charge the Tsundere Maid Queen, but before she could take a step, the Queen unleashed another blast of wind, sending both her and Amy tumbling across the room. George stumbled back, trying to keep his balance as the wind whipped through the chamber.

"This is ridiculous!" George shouted over the roar of the wind. "I didn't ask for any of this!"

The Tsundere Maid Queen smirked, flipping her skirt once more. "You may not have asked for it, but you *need* it, don't you, Master?"

George's eyes widened in horror as he realized what was about to happen. The Queen dashed forward, her skirt flaring out dramatically as she closed the distance between them in an instant. With a flourish, she spun around and....

*Flash!*

Her panties were in full view once again, and George froze, his face turning beet-red. His entire body seemed to lock up, his mind unable to process what was happening. The Queen giggled as she saw the effect it had on him.

"How's that, Master? Enjoying the view?" she teased, her voice dripping with mockery.

George's knees buckled, and he fell to the ground, his face buried in his hands. "I… I can't do this. This is too much."

Amy, who had managed to pick herself up after being blasted across the room, cackled with glee. "Oh my god, Georgie, you're so easy!"

The Amazon, however, wasn't laughing. She charged forward once again, swinging her fist at the Tsundere Maid Queen. "Enough of this nonsense! Fight me properly!"

The Queen easily dodged, twirling away with the grace of a dancer. "Tch. Baka. You think I'd let someone like you touch me?"

She continued to dart around the room, her movements impossibly fast as she toyed with the Amazon and Amy, all while making sure to flash her panties at George at every opportunity. Each time her skirt flipped up, George felt another wave of embarrassment wash over him, and his knees weakened further.

But something strange began to happen. With each flash of her panties, the Tsundere Maid Queen's face grew redder, and her smug grin started to falter. It seemed that even she couldn't handle the ridiculousness of her own tactics.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of flashing and dodging, the Queen's foot caught on a loose floorboard, and she stumbled forward, crashing into George. The two tumbled to the ground, their bodies tangled awkwardly as the Queen's skirt flew up one last time, revealing her panties yet again.

"Ugh, no!" the Queen cried, her voice cracking with embarrassment. "This isn't how it was supposed to go!"

Before she could get back up, George, still disoriented, reached out and, in a blind attempt to steady himself, accidentally grabbed hold of her panties. The room fell silent.

The Tsundere Maid Queen froze, her face turning a deep shade of crimson as she looked down at where George's hand was gripping her frilly black underwear. Her eyes widened, and for a moment, she looked like she might explode.

"You… you *pervert*!" she shrieked, her voice breaking as she tried to pull away. But George's grip remained firm, and before either of them could react, the magical energy surrounding her began to dissipate.

The Queen gasped, her body trembling as the last of her power faded away. She collapsed on top of George, breathing heavily, her face pressed against his chest.

"I… I've been defeated…" she whispered, her voice barely audible.

George blinked, his hand still clutching her panties. "W-wait, what?"

With a trembling hand, the Tsundere Maid Queen reached up and gently placed her hand on his cheek. "You… are my Master now…"

George's brain short-circuited. "W-what?!"

"I… offer you my body… as your reward…" she whispered, her voice soft and submissive now, a stark contrast to her earlier arrogance. She nuzzled closer to him, her cheeks flushed as she added, "From now on, I am yours to command, Master…"

George felt his entire body seize up. "No, no, no, this isn't happening…"

The Tsundere Maid Queen lifted her head just enough to flash him one more look at her panties. "I will serve you… however you desire…"

Amy burst out laughing, clutching her stomach as she doubled over. "Oh man, this is priceless! You've got a maid now, Georgie!"

The Amazon, looking both confused and angry, crossed her arms over her chest. "Husband, you have defeated her. She is now yours. But remember, you are *mine*."

George's head was spinning. He had no idea how things had gotten so out of hand, and now he had a maid who was offering herself to him and calling him "Master."

"Can I please wake up now?" he groaned, burying his face in his hands.

The group exited the *Maid Café Dungeon*, victorious, with *The Golden Panties of Eternal Youth* in their possession. Or so they thought.

As they stepped into the light, the mysterious cloaked figure from earlier appeared once again, standing in the middle of the road. Without a word, the figure snatched the *Golden Panties* from George's hands.

"Thanks for doing all the hard work for me," the figure said, pulling back their hood to reveal the smirking face of *Pastrami, the Loli Goddess*.

George's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding me?!"

Pastrami waved the panties in front of him, grinning ear to ear. "You're so easy to trick, George. Better luck next time!" With a giggle, she vanished into thin air, leaving nothing but a trail of sparkles behind.

George collapsed to the ground, utterly defeated. The Amazon looked down at him sympathetically, while the Tsundere Maid Queen knelt beside him, flashing her panties yet again.

"Don't worry, Master," she purred. "You still have me."

George groaned in despair, burying his face in his hands as Amy burst into uncontrollable laughter.

"I hate this world," George muttered, as the world went dark.