"Try me or leave it" I challenged him ! Did I ?
"You know what" he smiled for the first time in this frustrating conversation. He took a step back and rest his arms along his car. "I am not interested in this childish challenges so…. Remember this is the last time!"
I turned around on hearing his last words.
I want the confidence on my face in order to talk to henna standing a few feet's away, watching all this apologies scene going on.
One breath, two breath and yes I got this.
I rushed towards the university gate. Not to study but to write something. Yes I really got something to write right now.
Here's is the total map of this place, my whole routine in this tiny place. From the road, there is a huge parking lot which is maintained and occupied by both departments. Then there is two main gates at some distance. One is left , the other in right.
Like the way, my university is on the right ( the medical department) while the arts department is on left. After crossing the main gates, here's come my hostel. Just at left of the gait where the guard tends to sit for the duty.
Same as , arts department have hostel in the right side.
In this way, both of the hostels buildings are situated opposite to each other. There back meets.
My Dorm is on 3rd floor, the top floor of the building. Funny to hear but it's truth. The building have only three floors and a roof top because only few students took advantage of hostel. The rest of them prefer the apartments in this city.
The day was shedding and I was sitting on my study table working on my laptop. I wrote a whole page of my feelings but continuously my finger touch the backspace and all of it got remove. I just got a lack of Concentration. It's just because of high music sound coming from my left wall which touch my bed. In fact, the frame of our group hanging on the top of bed with the wall clock is also shaking due to high bass.
I just can't focus so I stood up and walked upon my bed with shoes. I attached my ear towards the back wall and knocked with one hand.
"Stop it nick do you wanna die tonight" I screamed.
"Nick stop it" I beat the wall harshly so he can hear me and luckily he did. Now the volume is pretty much medium which can allow me to continue my thoughts.
I opened the "Clare's thoughts" account on my Instagram and started again where I left earlier,
Temporary attraction is just a attraction
I don't need to be worry about that as
It doesn't last long
Until I bound myself with several activities
It will usually go away like it doesn't even last earlier or ever
Sometimes I just want to be in a relation so I can feel what actually happened after that
Means
Emotions? Happiness? Cuteness? Personality knowing?
Yup a lot of that
But
But wait I forgot the main point
Temporary attraction
Means one side love
A better chance for the other person to also have feeling to love you in return
But in the time, we are living we better don't know the both side stories whether it's true love or not
We better not rely upon it
We better not cry for it
We better not wait for it
The things we should do is
Patience
And a little laugh on yourself and walk away
It will felt pain
But trust me as soon as you walk away
A day will come when you will realize he or she was no way perfect for you
A day will come when u will realize that it was for a purpose so u could met your future partner after that
So just laugh
With tears or pain in your chest
And just take one step
I know after several months hardness
Life will become very lighter
Like someone lifted up the pain
Posted....2 minutes ago
My bar, actually my job place. Not a huge place but have a very accurate sitting around the beer corner. There is no music, just people come sit around and take drinks of their choices, share their misdeeds with me whenever they are not in their senses and went away.
It's my daily routine and I got much more ideas from there of writing my thoughts on my Instagram page.
"Scotch Please!" a young woman wearing a red party dress approaches me. She looked really pretty and was really depressed too.
"Enjoy your drink mam!" I handled her a bottle of beer with a wine glass. It took at least 5 minutes to her finishing the whole bottle. And now it's time to speak up.
.
"Then what happened?" we were talking continuously from the past few minutes. She was betrayed by her boyfriend. His boyfriend doesn't seem to be cheated on her in fact he stolen a bunch of cash from her.
"All boys do just time pass! … Mrs?" look like she forgot my name again as I have already told her 5 times.
"Emerson but call me Emmy" she nodded.
"You know what Emmy! The real thing which hurts here" she pointed a finger on her heart.
" what?" I asked standing in front of her , in fact I was a little bend down on the shelf trying to listen her. She was speaking so low because of that beer.
"What hurt is…. The person always get red flags but ignored it by giving your love a chance" she shook her head " but no ! love never deserves a chance , I know something was doubtful between us but I let it go because I loved him" She was really hurt. I can feel right here in my chest. No doubt she was the prettiest woman I have ever met, she can get any other guy in just few seconds but what a person can do with his looks if he or she is dead inside.
She needs time.
Time to heal
"You need time, trust me you will never gonna remember who he was!" I tried to console her.
"yup I do ! " she nodded her head carelessly, like she was deeply affected with the beer. She stood up picking her bag up to her shoulders and raised her hands towards me.
I throw my hands to her warm gesture.
"And Emmy you know what I did when I got to know he had an eye on my money?"
I was curious to know so I asked furtively
"I handled him and wished him best of luck smilingly" A tear drop from her left eye. The pain!
"what the heck? Did you really!? I can't believe " I was much shocked to choose words so I split whatever came to my mouth.
"Yeah because it was the last thing that could make me happy, let your love to be happy knowing that he can't be Yours" What she said must get Oscar award from my point of view. Who can betray such a amazing woman. She had so much affection in her company.
Then she just got disappear as she never exists.
When I came into my senses, where I was revising her words on my mind, I felt something under my fingers
Lara Florist
Near Becking Plaza
She left her card? . Great I'll definitely visit her someday. I wrapped up my work and tried to get home soon as lily and Henna are waiting to listen the Ex Husband story.
Ugh A Long Story
I hope that I will not forget the prettiest lady in my thoughts on that time when I will try to explain that frustrated story to my friends.
I hope...
_________________________:)
"Wait wait wait ! So you are telling me that you got divorced the last weekend?" Lily who just arrived a few minutes ago interrupted in our conversation.
"Yup finally got a breath of relief!" I said by laying on my bed. Both of the girl's were sitting in the carpet near the bed.
"Emmy I'm still confused
What made Jack to agree on this?" Henna looked so much curious right now. I can't let them know the real reason but they will not let me to sleep until I will not speak up.
"We had an agreement" it was so much difficult to say
"Actually we decided that we should take some time to settle ourselves first"
"Emmy I can bet You will not gonna give him a chance in future" Lily was fed up to know the real reason. We completely forgot our morning blunder.
"Lily Dear! At least I got rid of him…now let me sleep now!" I sweep the blanket all over my face to avoid them. Lily got up to make her bed but henna doesn't seems to digest all of the conversation we had.
"Emmy you just gave him a temporary promise?"
What? Did she just said promise? I guess she got me wrong. The way of me to tell them I get divorced from Jack was not correct. Maybe I should tell them what's the real reason…No privacy is much more worthy.
When I didn't spoke up for a while, she snatched the blanket from me
"Henna it's really cold don't do this" I got up from the bed to get back my blanket.
"tell me first !" she felt offended.
"I swear it's not a promise we made! It's just an agreement of court…Court announced that we both need some time until we get involved in someone else otherwise this divorce will usually ends up in a year ! Now give back my blanket" I rushed towards her back and snatched back my blanket.
I jumped into my bed switched off my lamp and waited for both of them to sleep first. Lily was all sleep but henna was still awake as I can see her phone light coming from my left foot side. It's a triple bedroom of course.
As soon as I closed my eyes something hit upon my mind. Those words!
Let your love to be happy knowing that It can't be yours
I opened up my Instagram account and posted this line.
I know it will also get a lot of likes but I'm much interested in it's comments.
I opened up my last post of "Temporary attraction"
And I scrolled down it's comments. It got 10k likes, I run through a warm smile on my face but as soon as I saw that comment my smile turn into laughter,silent laughter in a triple bedroom with two persons sleeping right now.
Clare's why you always exactly right about everything? I wish I could meet you
@MorrisonHemerson23
Morris? It's not a shocking thing to know. He is my posts fan from the last year. He also opened up a separate fan page for Clare's thoughts. But it's funny to know, he doesn't know it's me behind this account neither my friends know about it. I always kept it hidden as I don't want forced followers from them. I like to hear the original negative comments about me.
I didn't saw lily following Clare's thoughts but henna sometimes talk about it like
" I bet this is cheated content she must have stolen it from the website" or sometimes she says "Why I always feel like Clare's know what's going on present with me" it really makes me laugh sometimes.
( Fingers press on the little heart at side of Morris comment )
Okay my fan you deserves a little sympathy from me
Another day, another schedule. Today after class, I have to sneak out near the book store. Actually I have organized a locker over there. It's for my fans emails, letters, gifts. You can guess I'm pretty much famous in Istanbul. Today was class of operation. Professor Meck performed two operations in front of us. He taught students one by one taking them to the operation theater where brain or heart surgeries were being done.
Being in the medical field, I don't even know that our heart is actually white in color. Like we rinse off the practical piece and it turned out pretty much white in color.
"Gross !" henna said by holding her nose in an awkward manner.
"Henna dear you also got one of these hearts" I teased her. Then I raised up the plate where the white heart was lying peacefully and showed henna.
"Take this away from me Emmy or I'm gonna kill you with this knife" henna picked one of the operation tools.
"Henna if you don't like this organ can I take out of yours?" I carefully put it back on the table.
Then I remembered something. Oh yeah I have to go. There were 5 students in the room which were enough not to let Professor know about my presence so I turned slowly and walked towards the door in order to run away.
"Hey where are you going" henna didn't say up. In fact she almost whisper with her eyes
( I pointed with my fingers) "Washroom" she nodded in a way that she will not let the professor know about me.
And I rushed out the hospital department, crossed two straight corridors. Then a long wood door appear which is automatic in function. After that, there is a bunch of plants in the hall, in front of that is the canteen. I turned left and rushed towards another door which took me towards the main gate of department.
Finally I made it again. It was the class time and no one is allowed to sit or walk in the park.
I can't see any single person in the park, so I kept on walking sneakily.
When I approached the university gate, I hide myself besides the plant and waited for the guard to get away from my side. It was a lucky day, as he started walking I run towards the parking lot outside the university gate.
Where did I park my bicycle? Oh here you go.
I also had a backpack with me, which I hanged in the basket in front of my bicycle.
"in a hurry? Emmy" someone called my name. I become freeze to my place but as soon as I turned around, I felt relief. Nick was standing in front of me now. He was also holding a backpack
"Actually nick I was…" I tried to find a excuse but he broke in my words.
"No worries I'm on the same job too" he winked at me. Then he throws his backpack on the back seat of his car but instead of getting in the car he came and pull his hands towards me like he was asking for my backpack too
"Can I trust you?" I said hesitantly. I feared that maybe he will betray me and gonna tell the professor about me bunking the class.
"You and me doing the same thing, if I betray you, then you have a proper right to do the same thing to me" He again asked for my backpack which I handled him easily. He never been so nice to me. So I was curious what's the matter now. Is he trying to flirt with me? No nick is not that type of guy. He treats me like his sister. No doubt our group had huge fights with them but me and Nick never get face to face. We always try to avoid the fights by standing at the back of the candidates.
He start the car and run it on the road towards the Main market near Hagia Sophia mosque.
"Nick you didn't ask me yet where I want to go?" I felt a red flag. He didn't know about my destination, in fact he was driving so confidently.
" Don't worry Emmy I'll ask but firstly I have to pick Morris on the way" when he said Morris, I wish that I could jump out of the car right now. What's wrong man. Why he always kept interrupting me somehow and others.
Ok relax. Just take three deep breaths to face the cruel.
He stopped the car near the main market in front of the sweet shop. After waiting for 2 minutes, the backdoor opened and Morris got inside.
"Hey how are you guys?" he was arranging his bags in the seat when he noticed me "Ms Emerson so nice to meet you! You didn't brought up your babysitter on this bunk day?"
Did he really know I bunked my important class. Probably, he knows because it's our time for class. But wait It's their time too
"Firstly, yup I did bunk my class like you both did
Secondly, nice to meet you too
Lastly, if you don't mind can nick baby sit me today?"
Nick just laughed while driving
"Dude I always told you this girl is interesting !" nick said
Morris felt a little offended so he clear up his throat like he want to say something really bad to me now
" that's exactly seems jack words" He said to Nick.
It felt really bad to me. He just taunt me about my ex husband
Of course, Jack was his best friend, they both were really close to each other until jack went to US.
"He is in US right Emmy?" Nick said this time to cover up Morris words.
"I don't know we don't usually talk to each other" I said by rolling my fingers with my skirt. It become a really awkward situation in the car.
"Ok it's your personal matter" nick seems to be a really sensible person.
But Morris breaks in his words "Jack told me that you are getting divorce from him"