With a snake the size of a fully-grown boa constructor, with feathers that splayed out like a cobra's hood, striking at her chest, it could be forgiven that Annabeth squeaked and threw up her hands.
And slapped the almost-faded Mayan deity away.
Which confused her to no end, so her squeak ended up being more of an "Eep- huh?" She looked at her hands. "It itches a bit," she added, rubbing her hands and ending the weird sensation.
Kukulkan, on the other hand, had floated away at the slap, but didn't appear to be noticing it.
Harry was staring at the avatar, a blush slowly rising on his cheeks at the sounds it was making.
"What?" Annabeth asked, noticing how everyone, bar Harry, was staring at her.
"You squeaked like a little girl," One of Apollo's twins joked.
Annabeth growled low and kicked his shin. "Maybe because I am a little girl?" she demanded while he yelped and rubbed his shin to get the sting out. "And you see how you fare when a big snake rears up to strike at you!"
Luna, on the other hand, giggled. When her new friends glanced at her, she motioned to Harry, whose blush had reached its peak by now.
"Harry?" Silena asked. "What's going on?"
Harry looked at her with huge eyes. "I don't know what's going on," he deferred, pointing at Kukulkan. "But he's making weird sounds. He sounds kind of like Artie when she eats a triple chocolate-chocolate cake."
Oooooooh-ohhohohohohooooooooh, the weird avatar moaned.
The demigods, and Luna, looked surprised at that and stared at the avatar, who was still floating lazily where he had stopped after Annabeth's slap, apparently lost in its own mind and not looking at them at all.
"It's not paying attention," Annabeth said. "Let's get out of here."
At that statement, Kukulkan seemed to give a snakey form of shudder, shook himself out, and straightened up. He reared up again and jumped at Silena. More! Give me more, Mortal!
Silena, having seen the snake fail multiple times, decided that she wasn't going to react and just balled her fists and stood her ground. The partially-faded Mayan deity crashed into her chest. She bit back a giggle at the tingle and idly scratched to relieve the itching sensation.
Awwwww….
Harry snorted, trying to stifle a laugh. When his friends looked curiously at him, he said, "He sounds like a little kid denied a treat."
The demigods seemed to be in disbelief, while Luna merely nodded as if this all made perfect sense.
"Let me see what I can find out," Harry added, and turned to the snake. Excuse me? Are you Mister Kukulkan, the Mayan Deity? He asked politely.
"That is just weird," one of the twins muttered.
"Makes my skin crawl," the second one added to his brother's comment.
"That is due to Parseltongue's innately magical effects. It'll pass in a few minutes, when you get used to it," Luna explained. "Unfortunately, the ability has a bit of a dark reputation because of it. Stupid, really."
I am the Great Serpent! Sweeper of the Earth! Creator! Messenger! You shall address me appropriately, Mortal!
Harry blinked. Oh.
"What? What did he say?" Annabeth asked.
"Ehm..." Harry said. "He's very, very important," he related.
Important? IMPORTANT!? Your heart, Mortal! Kukulkan shouted, going for the center mass of Harry's chest, only to rebound off, and causing the boy to idly scratch the itch.
"And he understands English," Harry added.
"He didn't seem to like the description," Luna commented idly.
"I paraphrased," Harry answered. "He said he was the Great Serpent, the Sweeper of the Earth, the Creator, and the Messenger. I thought it would be quicker to just say he was very important."
Luna nodded. "That makes sense," she said.
"In the future, you may want to do a direct translation of a foreign god's words, Harry," Annabeth said, attempting to sound serious but looking like she could burst out into laughter at any point.
Harry gave her a firm pout in reply, but turning back towards the snake-god.
Kukulkan grumbled to himself. Why? Why? Whywhywhywhywhy?
"What's wrong, Mister Kukulkan?" The young demigod asked, in English, now that he knew the god would understand him.
For a moment, despite being a large snake, the god looked like a pouting child. He pointed at Annabeth with the tip of his tail, then said, that one had such delicious fear, but not anymore. And nobody else has any either.
By the gods, he sounded like a child denied a treat, too.
Harry translated for his friends. "It sounds like Mister Kukulkan feeds on fear, and when nobody's afraid of him, he starves."
YOU try being a deity whose worship involved human hearts, Kukulkan snapped at the young demigod. And then they stop and you start starving! And by the time you realize what's happening, you can't even carve out a heart yourself!
Harry translated.
Luna seemed to take it all in stride and was nodded sagely. The twins looked vaguely disturbed. Silena and Annabeth were pale.
Harry rubbed his chin, trying to figure out a way to help. Because this almost-faded deity definitely needed help. Even if he was rather bloodthirsty, but that wasn't completely his fault, that was how the people back then had imagined him into being.
"Does it have to be hearts?" Harry asked. "Because we kind of need those to live."
There's enough of you! Kukulkan replied. Would it be too much to ask to sacrifice a couple of mortals a month? it's not like you'd miss then! There are billions of you!
Harry translated while rubbing his forehead. He couldn't even begin to think of how he was going to reply to that one.
"He's not wrong, exactly," Luna said. "A couple of people a month wouldn't harm us."
"LUNA!" Silena squeaked. "What a horrible thing to say!"
"A tragedy for their loved ones, sure, but not for humanity as a whole," the blonde witch went on. "But still, we shouldn't be resurrecting blood-deities, not in this day and age. People are squeamish about such things."
"For good reason!" Annabeth said, testily.
Luna just shrugged.
"You sounded like you liked the fear more than the hearts," Harry told Kukulkan, ignoring the sideshow of Luna doing her level best to gross out his friends. And succeeding, from the look and sound of it.
Well, sure, Kukulkan grouched. A good jolt of fear feeds the belly. But still… a delicious human heart…
Harry translated. "How about beef hearts?" he then asked. "We can get those, cheaply."
You'd feed me COW? The god demanded angrily.
"They're hearts, and they're bigger than ours," Harry answered logically.
The feathered serpent seemed to be grouching to himself. Fine, he finally relented. It's the fear and the terror that does it, he admitted.
Harry translated, before looking at his friends. "Wouldn't that be something we can work with?"
"Harry, you can't just scare people," Annabeth said.
"A lot of people love being scared, as long as there's no actual danger," Harry answered. "Like a haunted house ride, or when people deliberately scare themselves by stepping into a roller coaster."
"That makes a disturbing amount of sense," Silena admitted.
"I mean, Halloween is a thing," Harry added.
The American demigods nodded at that – very good – point.
"We should find a way for Mister Kukulkan to scare people, then," the demigod said, before turning back to the half-faded deity. "Can you make yourself visible to normal people?" he asked.
The snake-god shook his head emphatically. Do you have any idea what the mortals will do to me if they can see me!? He demanded angrily. I have no intention of being carved up in some lab. I'm not exactly in a position to defend myself when faced with hundreds or thousands of them!
Harry translated.
"That's a good point," Annabeth said.
"How about that roller coaster you mentioned?" one of the twins asked Harry. "Maybe Lord Kukulkan can hitch an invisible ride on a roller coaster, and feed on the emotions of the passengers."
"That could work," Harry said, while looking at the feathered serpent, who was poking his lower jaw with the tip of his tail, almost like a human rubbing his chin in thought.
I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try, Kukulkan admitted. Still, terrorizing the mortals myself will probably give a bigger meal.
Harry translated, then put his hands on his hips. "You just want to terrorize people yourself," he accused.
Kukulkan waved his tail in a snake-like sort of shrug. Blood-deity, Mortal.
Harry sighed and repeated what the foreign god had told him.
"He makes a point," Luna replied.
"Still," Harry muttered. "It's not very nice."
Kukulkan seemed to laugh, but it was Luna who replied first. "He is a blood-deity, Harry," she admonished.
I like that mortal, Kukulkan said. She's the only one with a brain.
Harry translated, making Luna smile and the others look disbelieving. "You're only saying that because she's the only one who wanted to consider sacrificing people," he said sternly.
Can you blame me? Kukulkan asked, amused.
"I guess not," Harry answered, before translating.
At that moment, one of the twins noticed something. He wasn't that interested in hearing Harry discuss the mortality and ethics of scaring people to feed a half-faded Mayan Deity, and had been staring at the environment instead.
"Hey Annabeth," he said, leaning closer to the blonde Daughter of Athena. "Look!"
Annabeth reflexively looked where the twin in question was pointing. A huge tarantula spider, obviously just crawled out from the underbrush, had stopped when it noticed the two-leggers.
For a moment, Annabeth stiffened, expecting the bout of arachnophobia, before realizing that it was a huge and hairy spider, yes, but that she wasn't particularly afraid of it. That was when she remembered last year's adventure with Arachne had cured her of it.
Huffing, she planted her fists in her sides and stared at the twin as if he were a naughty child.
He grinned and chuckled.
"Jackass," she accused him. "Lucky for you Arachne cured my arachnophobia last year, or I'd be even more upset. That thing is huge! You could make a full meal out of it!"
Harry, who had been distracted from his conversation with Kukulkan by the by-play, nodded. "Tarantula can be roasted really well," he confirmed. "You just need to keep it over an open flame so it burns all the hairs off. Those hairs burn, it's a defense mechanism."
Annabeth shuddered. "Harry Potter, if you ever try and feed me spider, arachnophobia or not, I will break your legs!"
Kukulkan chuckled. You are the most entertaining mortals I've ever met, he said. By all means, please keep scaring each other!
Harry rubbed his forehead when he translated.
"Please stop encouraging him, Lord Kukulkan," Annabeth implored.
No, Kukulkan replied honestly.
Harry chuckled at the flat response, then told the others. The twins chuckled, and Silena giggled. Annabeth looked like she was put-out, but trying really hard not to let it show, and Luna simply nodded as if that was the expected response.
"Still, we should find something for Lord Kukulkan," Luna said. "We can't just leave him like this."
For a moment, Kukulkan looked like he couldn't decide between being offended at needing help, or trying to look harmless and helpless. In the end, he tried a snakey version of 'I am a helpless kitten, help me'.
Unfortunately for him, most people didn't find snakes cute and cuddly the same way they found small furry things cute and cuddly.
"Look at him, he needs help," Luna said, obviously the exception that confirmed the rule and acting as if he actually were a helpless little furry creature.
Harry, being able to speak snake, reluctantly felt like agreeing with Luna – despite knowing that Kukulkan was a bloodthirsty deity demanding human hearts.
The others, however, had neither Luna's love for all things living nor Harry's ability to speak Parseltongue, and thus weren't moved by the display.
"Perhaps," Annabeth said, reluctantly.
Well thank you very much, Mortal! Kukulkan grouched.
"He… eh…" Harry said. Kukulkan stared at him, daring him. "He is sarcastically grateful," Harry finally said.
"Well, maybe he shouldn't be eating human hearts, then," Annabeth snarked.
"He can't help how he was worshipped," Harry defended Kukulkan before the deity in question could reply. "Besides, he's not eating hearts now. We just need to find a way to have him give a few people a scare every now and then."
"I suppose," Annabeth said, reluctantly.
Harry pouted at her, hoping to convince her to help.
Annabeth huffed and looked away instead, trying to give the impression of being made of stone, and trying not to let it show that Harry's puppy-dog-eyes were getting to her.
"Besides," Silena said, interjecting, "with the feathers he's kind of handsome."
Kukulkan splayed out his feathers the way a hooded cobra would splay out its hood and tried to show off. The Daughter of Aphrodite laughed appreciatively.
Harry nodded. "That's true. I bet that a lot of people would pay good money to come and see you if you made yourself visible," he told the Mayan god.
Only if they didn't carve me up in some lab, Kukulkan replied testily. And they call me bloodthirsty. Mortals have every blood-deity in the world beat!
Harry dutifully translated. The others nodded softly.
"Mortals can also be very protective," Luna said, ignoring the dig at the rest of humanity. "There are no creatures on this world like you. I'm sure that some mortals would do everything in their power to protect you; even if you jumped up and gave them a scare a couple of times a day."
Everyone, Kukulkan included, looked at her.
Explain, Mortal, the god decreed.
"Mister Kukulkan would like you to explain," Harry translated, adding some social niceties to the demand.
I ordered an explanation, not requested one! Kukulkan snapped at Harry.
"I do believe that Lord Kukulkan probably made that an order, not a polite request," Luna said to Harry with a small giggle. She turned to look at the half-faded deity, and said, "Mortals have zoos where they keep rare and endangered creatures, and zookeepers are incredibly protective of them," she explained.
Harry gaped at Luna for daring to make that suggestion. Silena, Annabeth, and Apollo's twins took a step back, as if afraid to be in the fallout zone.
A zoo? A ZOO!? Kukulkan thundered in Parseltongue. How DARE you, mortal!? YOUR HEART! YOUR HEART, NOW!
In a full rage, the Mayan Deity snarled and launched himself at Luna, who didn't look particularly concerned as the feathered serpent slammed into her chest.
And bounced off.
Luna giggled. "That tingles," she announced cheerfully, scratching at the spot of impact.
Tell that mortal I demand her heart and that she'd better carve it out using a spoon, Kukulkan told Harry. A blunt one.
Harry gaped for a moment, then translated – more or less – what Kukulkan said. Luna giggled again.
Kukulkan grouched when it seemed his ultimatum wasn't being particularly effective at intimidation.
"You have balls of steel," Silena whispered to Luna, sounding impressed. Even if Kukulkan was partially faded, he was still a god; and that snarling and spitting attack seemed particularly fearsome.
"He can't really harm us," Luna announced cheerfully, not particularly taking care of not being overheard. "It was fun, rather than scary."
Forget the spoon. I want her to dig it out with her own hands, Kukulkan grouched at Harry.
Harry hesitated for a moment, but then did as asked and translated. Luna giggled again.
Stupid mortal, and here I thought you were the good one, Kukulkan pouted childishly.
Harry ignored the god whining to itself, and rubbed his chin. "You know, Luna's idea could work out well. If we find a very good zoo, the caretakers will practically worship Kukulkan, considering he is 'unique'. They'd literally wait on him, hand and foot."
Oh, not you too, Kukulkan whined pitifully, but thinking about the 'worship' part. Then again…
Luna nodded. "And considering Lord Kukulkan can make himself invisible, and fly, he can leave whenever he wants to."
Kukulkan perked up even further, not having considered that aspect.
"And considering that he would be in his own enclosure, he can scare people all he wants. People won't mind, considering he seemingly can't get to them, and lots of people love good, clean, safe, fear like that."
Luna nodded. "Like a haunted house."
"Maybe that would be a good idea as well," Harry said. "Hanging around a haunted house and scaring people. Of course, then there would be nobody around to take care of him, like at the zoo. You don't work at one of those unless you really love doing it, so the people there will care for mister Kukulkan like nothing else."
Luna nodded agreeably. "Of course, finding the best zoo might be a challenge," she said.
"Katie could help, maybe," Harry offered.
"Oh? Who's Katie? Should I be jealous?" the blonde witch asked with a peculiar glint in her eyes.
"Katie's one of the campers," Harry explained. "She'd a daughter of Miss Demeter."
"Goddess of Agriculture," Luna said with a nod. "Yes, the Goddess of Agriculture should know where the best zoos are," she added.
Kukulkan glared from one to the other. Will you two stop making plans without involving me? I should have your hearts for this!
"If this works, then you will never need hearts again," Harry bargained. "You'll get to scare hundreds, if not thousands, of people a day. Imagine the nourishment!"
Kukulkan was silent and glared at Harry. Damn you for enticing me, mortal. Damn you to the underworld.
Harry laughed, then turned to his friends and translated. "That sounded like agreement to me," he said after he finished his translation.
"It sounded like agreement to me, too," Luna agreed.
Kukulkan glared from one to the other again, before sighing, his feathers flattening. Damn you both. Fine. But if this goes wrong, you will carve your hearts out with your bare hands!
"He agreed," Harry concluded cheerfully, ignoring the threat.
0000
In the end, getting a very unique and very – to mortals – unknown snake into the country's top zoo was quite easy; a short chat with Katie Gardner, followed by the 'accidental' discovery of the 'new' snake by the suggested institution, and everything was set.
Kukulkan still grumbled, of course. Until he saw the enclosure. He settled in nicely, and the demigods returned to camp while Harry took Luna home.
Returning to the UK was as simple as a stroll through the fire for the two magicals.
"Harry!" Xeno cheered when they appeared, despite it being late at night in the UK due to the time differences.
"Hello, Xeno," Harry greeted politely, while Luna caught sight of someone else and cheered.
"Mommy!" the excited blonde shouted, and raced off as quickly as he legs could carry her. Right before she was about to crash into her mother, Luna seemingly skidded to a halt, before tenderly giving the woman a hug.
"Hello, Darling," Pandora said to her daughter. To Harry, her voice sounded weak, and she looked like she shouldn't be out of bed, especially at this late hour.
"Hello, Harry," the woman said, looking up from her daughter to the young man who had saved her life. "I'm glad I was able to catch you this time."
Harry smiled at her, and approached carefully. "Hello, Mrs Lovegood," he greeted. "I'm glad to see you are up and about."
"Pandora," Pandora corrected gently. "Those who save my life get to call me by my given name."
Harry grinned. "Pandora," he repeated.
"Still, I am exceedingly grateful to you," she went on. "If there is ever anything I – or we – can do to repay this, please do let us know."
Harry felt more than a bit self-conscious. "Thanks, Pandora," he finally said. "Like I told Xeno, though, friends help each other. I'm glad I was able to help."
"Of course," Pandora said, smiling widely. "You will always find friends here, no matter what."
"Thank you," Harry said, desperately wanting to change the subject, feeling awkward over the promises the Lovegoods kept repeating. When he saw Xenophilius working on something, he found he had his excuse.
"How did the thing about the platypi go?" he asked the man.
Xeno looked up and burst into a wide smile. "Oh, it was excellent! Excellent beyond compare!" he said, shooting up from his chair and digging something out of a huge stack of papers.
"Oh, Xeno," Pandora said, sounding disappointed.
"I'll clean it up, don't worry," he promised his wife, before handing the paper to Harry. "One of our most-read articles ever, that issue sold four times as many copies as normal!" he crowed.
Harry accepted it with a grateful smile, thankful for the change of subject, and looked at the front page.
Platypus found in Australia! It read in big block-letters. Harry skimmed trough the article and found himself surprised when Xeno had quoted him.
"It's a creature that looks designed by committee," notes international celebrity Harry Potter, whom this reporter had the utmost honor of speaking with. "It has the bill of a duck, the tail of an otter, the pelt of a beaver, poisonous spurs on its hind feet, and despite being a mammal, it lays eggs." Mister Potter definitely seems to have the gist of it.
Harry stopped reading and looked up.
Xeno grinned. "You can't expect a reporter to pass up such a memorable quote, Harry," he defended.
Harry thought that over for a moment, then shrugged. "At least you didn't quote me on something I wouldn't want known," he said. "Also, international celebrity?"
Xeno's grin – almost impossibly – seemed to widen even further. "Check page two. I did tell you that I was going to write an article about you saving poor Pandora."
Harry flipped to the second page. Harry Potter saves Editor's Wife! The article block-lettered. Once again, he skim-read the article, feeling absurdly grateful to Athena for teaching him every trick in the mortal and divine book on dealing with his demigodly dyslexia. He could read English almost as fast as a normal person these days. International Celebrity Harry Potter is not only a global hero, but a personal – and personable – one as well.
"I… what?" Harry asked, looking up from the article.
"I did say you were quite famous," Luna said.
"Is that why you had me leave the hospital so quickly?" Harry asked.
"Partly," Xeno answered calmly. "There are plenty of people who would want to bother you, and quite a few who would like nothing better than to either track, or outright command, your every movement. I thought it best if you left quickly and quietly."
Harry nodded. "Thanks, Xeno," he said, gratefully. He would hate to be famous, and have everyone chase after him or know everything he did. The part where there were people wanting to command his movements sounded like the Dursleys all over again, and he definitely wanted to avoid that. "Why am I famous, though?" he asked.
"That's a bit of an explanation," Xeno said. "Why don't you have a seat?" he offered while motioning to the couch.
Harry nodded and started to sit. Luna sat down on the armrest next to him, and said, "Your parents were quite opposed to Lord Voldemort. When he came to kill them, something they did killed him. Unfortunately, not before he killed them, first. You were the only survivor and hailed as the Boy-Who-Lived, who defeated Voldemort when only 15 months old."
Harry blinked and gaped at her.
"Luna!" Pandora gasped. "Tact, Young Lady!"
"I thought it better to rip the bandage off," Luna defended herself, sounding not quite as cheerful as she usually sounded.
"And sometimes you need to ease people into it," Pandora admonished.
"While those two argue," Xeno said, sitting down next to Harry and patting his knee in a fatherly fashion. "While Luna certainly had the gist of it, there were quite a few details left out. Lord Voldemort was a Dark Wizard of the worst kind; not the kind who wants to rule, but the kind who wants to see the world burn. Of course, he managed to convince quite a few people that he had their best interests at heart so they followed him, but anyone with half a mind realized that Voldemort wasn't in it for the power. He was in it for the destruction."
Harry nodded. That sounded like some of the people he had read about in the Ancient Greek historic chronicles.
"He was so feared that people didn't even use his name," the reporter went on. "They called him You-Know-Who, or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, because of superstition that using his name would invoke him to target you."
"That's silly," Harry said.
"There is a spell called a 'Taboo' that would allow such a thing, however," Xeno explained. "So it isn't as far-fetched as you might first imagine."
"Oh," the young boy said, feeling a bit guilty over his initial reaction.
"Anyway," the elder Lovegood add, "he had a favorite spell, called the Killing Curse, Avada Kedavra. If it hits a person, it kills them. There is only one defense against the Killing Curse – do not get hit with it. It has never failed. Never, until the night that Voldemort came to your parents' house, and killed them, before trying to kill you. Instead of killing you, it rebounded, and struck him down instead. That is why you were lauded as the savior of the wizarding world."
"Oh," Harry replied. "But it was a spell my mother set up," he added. "So SHE should be the hero." Suddenly, he remembered that awful meeting of the gods, where he had been dragged before the full council. And where he had met everybody. Including Hades. Who had told him his parents died as heroes.
Probably because they were trying to protect each other, and protect him. He could imagine one of his parents trying to hold Voldemort off while the other ran with Harry, only to be tracked down… and finally giving their own life to try and protect his.
Harry also remembered that Hades had pulled a soul from his forehead.
"It was very strange, though," Xeno said, after a few moments of silence. "For quite some time afterwards, things remained as a kind of… limbo, if I can call it that. Voldemort's former followers kept their heads down, but it was clear they were simply biding their time. Then, a few years later, it seemed like a weight was being lifted, as if Voldemort's ghost had finally passed on. Now that I think about it, that's when people slowly started using his name again, which is why you didn't hear me using those silly monikers."
Harry nodded. "Mister Hades pulled a piece of a soul out of my forehead, where it was stuck in a lightning-bolt scar. It was really ugly and I always kept my hair long so I could hide it; but after Mister Hades pulled that piece of soul out, he was able to call the rest of it, and then banished it to the underworld."
"Remarkable," Xeno said. "Truly remarkable. That could coincide, I suppose. Perhaps Voldemort had found a way to bind his soul to the mortal world. Of course, The Lord of the Underworld wouldn't be stopped by such a protection."
The demigod agreed with that. Hades was awesome. Still, his mind was awhirl with what he had learned. Maybe he should write to his mother about it, too, and get her perspective.
Still, he didn't really feel like exploring that part of his life; he didn't want to be famous. He just wanted to be Harry and have friends and enjoy life, that's all.
He drew a breath, and let it out. He was getting tired and needed a good think. Besides, Pandora looked like she needed to go to bed, too. "Maybe I should go home and have some rest," he said. "It's been a long day."
"Of course," Xeno repeated. "Have a good night, Harry."
Luna jumped at him and gave him a big hug. "Sleep well, Harry. Don't let the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks bite."
Harry chuckled, and squeezed her back. "Night, Luna," he said, before extracting himself and wishing Pandora good night as well. Without fanfare, he waved at the fire, then moved through and was gone.
0000
It had been a few weeks, and despite what he had initially thought, he hadn't written to his mother. Part of it was that he wasn't sure he wanted to know what happened, nor did he feel the need or desire to be famous. It sounded like a hassle, especially the part where people would try and run his life.
He also hadn't heard from Kukulkan since. Deciding that no news was good news, Harry settled on the experiment being a success. He hoped the half-faded Mayan deity startled plenty of people, and got plenty of nourishment from it.
With his demigod friends back in school, and Luna understandably busy with her mother's recovery, Harry was free to go back to his usual schedule of learning from various gods, maintaining Helios' temple, and experiment in the kitchen.
Considering that said experimentation needed ingredients, Harry roamed the market – another one of his favorite pastimes.
Half an hour later, and carrying a bag filled with groceries, Harry was exploring the non-food section of the market when something caught his eye.
It was a shop rather than a stall, and it sold godly trinkets and gizmos of all kind. Things like self-playing music instruments enchanted by Apollo, for example.
However, what had really caught his eye was the large banner proclaiming the arrival of the new version of Hephaestus TV.
Back when he lived with the Dursleys, he hadn't gotten to watch a lot of TV; instead he had been dumped in his cupboard. If he were lucky, he'd gotten to listen in when Dudley turned the volume up too loud – it was how he'd gotten to know various cartoons.
Curious, he entered the shop. Practically right away, he was beset by the proprietor; a nymph who didn't blink at seeing the age of her shopper. Plenty of gods liked to pretend to be young mortals, after all.
"Can you tell me more about Hephaestus TV?" Harry asked politely, while looking over the large television-like device that was standing in the middle of the shop as a demonstration piece.
"Of course, of course!" the salesnymph said. "Lord Hephaestus upgraded the Hephaestus TV, so it now has a global reach; over 55,000 mortal television channels, from anywhere in the mortal world. It will unscramble those 'premium' channels the mortals are so enamored with, allowing the discerning viewer to never again miss their latest release of their favorite show. And, of course, it goes without saying that it will still access the Olympian Hephaestus TV channels without issue, as well."
Harry had to do his utmost best not to let it show just how impressed he was. "Of course," he agreed, hopefully on a level tone. It was one of the few helpful things he'd learned from Uncle Vernon – you always pretended not to be impressed with someone tried to sell you something, and you never accepted the first offer.
"I see that Sir is a discerning viewer," the salesnymph oozed. "This is one of our higher-end models, with a picture that is close enough to reality to be indistinguishable."
Harry nodded thoughtfully, once again doing his best to hide his giddiness. He wanted one. He wanted one now.
"Of course," the salesnymph said, "it also comes with plenty of connectivity to allow various add-ons to play any sort of mortal entertainment. It goes without saying that the Hephaestus TV will attempt its best to upgrading the poor quality of mortal broadcasts and recordings to its own high level, but there is only so much that can be done with poor mortal quality."
Harry nodded again. "You can't blame the device for that," he replied, going along with the salesnymph.
The nymph smiled broadly. "As you say, Sir. As you say. So… would sir be interested in a purchase?"
Harry wanted one desperately, but realized that he didn't have all that much…
Yes. Yes, he did have money. He had the money from the regular poker games. He had gold. Stacks of it. Drachmas, other coins, and sheer bullion.
For the first time ever, Harry realized what it meant to be rich, to have means, to be able to go into a store and buy yourself something, anything, that you wanted.
He made a show of studying the price tag, while mentally stacking the gold and counting just what kind of funds he had available.
Harry rubbed his chin, then looked at the salesnymph. "Does it come in larger sizes?" he asked.
The shopkeeper resisted the urge to rub her hands, but from the look of it, it was a close call. "Ah, Sir would be interested in our ultra-large deluxe model," she oozed with all of the sliminess of a used car salesman, before showing Harry to the back of the store.
Harry wanted to bark out 'sold' the moment he saw the device, but somehow managed to resist.
"It's bigger, I suppose," he said, keeping uncle Vernon's lessons in mind.
The salesnymph seemed to deflate at the non-impressed response. "This is the largest model currently on offer, I'm afraid," she said, obviously thinking that she was going to lose a large sale.
"How about sound?" Harry asked. "After all, mortal entertainment comes with sound."
Seeing her chance of a large profit go up once more, the salesnymph beamed. "Of course, Sir! Let me show you the latest, state-of-the-art Hephaestus TV surround sound system!"
Later that day, Harry was sitting on the couch in the living area of Helios' temple, while four installation cyclopes were setting up his brand-new, 150-inch Hephaestus TV, and wiring up the 8 ceiling speakers, 14 surround speakers, four subwoofers, and assorted amplifiers.
He ended up with half a dozen remote controls for the TV, the surround receiver, the laserdisc player, video cassette player, DVD player, and assorted other devices. The salesnymph had droned on about the DVD player being self-upgradeable for when mortals released new formats and had muttered arcanely about something called a 'Blue Ray', but Harry hadn't been paying much attention to the underlying technology. He was too excited about finally being able to watch cartoons, in their entirety, without being dumped into his cupboard.
Harry fell backwards onto the couch, and looked happily at the enormous new entertainment system. He felt Helios' presence wrap around him, giving the curious sensation of having just high-fived him enthusiastically for the purchase.
The boy grinned; he just knew that, had Helios still been around, the Titan-God and he would have made great friends.
"It's great, isn't it?" he asked the thin air, while digging through the plethora of remote controls to find the ones he needed. Helios' presence gave him another enthusiastic high-five sensation, despite him not raising his hand either time.
Nemmy let out an annoyed sound as he jumped on the couch. The monster-turned-house pet wasn't the most enthusiastic about visitors at the best of times, and having 5 people invade his home to install some kind of monstrosity wasn't met with his approval.
To show his displeasure, he lounged at the far end of the couch, ostentatiously with his back towards Harry.
"Come on, Nemmy, let's watch a movie," Harry said, leaning far over and gently rubbing his hand down Nemmy's extremely soft back-fur. The Nemean House Cat flipped his tail in annoyance.
"I'll just watch by myself, then," Harry said, sitting upright and starting to fiddle with the remote controls again.
Nemmy looked over, annoyed at not being properly worshipped or apologized to, and ended up – reluctantly – walking over and plonking himself down next to Harry's leg. The boy's hand immediately went over and started scratching and petting him. That was better.
The huge TV screen lit up, followed by a clack from the amplifiers of the surround system.
Not long after, Harry was giggling when the foot-falls of the giant T-rex chasing a jeep full of people made the couch vibrate.
Nemmy's ears flicked in confusion. The sensation was curious, making his entire body vibrate in place.
0000
As the velociraptor showed remarkable intelligence – and dexterity – in being able to open a door by manipulating its handle, Harry laughed. Sometime during the movie, Nemmy had reverted to his regular giant size, and Harry was now draped on top of him, snuggled into the giant lion's soft, warm fur and his head using the manes as a pillow.
"I want one!" he said, still chuckling. "Raptors are awesome!"
Nemmy let out a displeased rumble.
"Aw, come on," Harry said. "Look at them! Those guys are awesome!"
Nemmy grumbled and let out a small grunt, before licking his chops.
"Tasty?" Harry complained. "You'd eat my imaginary raptors?"
Nemmy concentrated for a moment, then burped happily. Harry burst out laughing, both at the boorish action and the fact that he was still on top of said lion as it did so.
The Nemean Lion looked smug.
Harry just grumbled. "I can't believe you would eat a couple of completely imaginary and impossibly to get raptors. I mean, those guys have been dead for tens of millions of years, there's no way to get one, but you wouldn't even let me imagine."
Nemmy licked his chops again. "I know that to you they look like giant chickens," Harry said, still grumbling. "And thanks to you, now all I can think of is you sitting next to an open fire, roasting a giant chicken on a spit. Instead of a couple of incredibly cool raptors that I could use to terrify my enemies."
Nemmy let out a small grunt and Harry felt him puff himself up. "Yes, I know you're incredibly scary," he said, throwing his arms around the lion's neck and giving it an affectionate hug. "But you're also a cat, and when I ask you if you want to come, you snuggle into the couch."
Nemmy grumbled. Harry laughed softly, and hugged his giant furry friend again. Before he could say anything, however, he felt a mental flare from the fire ping against his awareness of Hestia's boon. A moment later, the fire actually flared, followed a second later by the goddess in question strolling out.
"Hestia!" Harry said, from his perch on top of the Nemean Lion.
"Hello, Harry," Hestia said, taking in the new equipment in the living area, and looking as if she couldn't decide whether or not to be upset. She let her gaze travel backward, taking everything in a second time. "What's all this?"
"The new home entertainment center I got for Mister Helios' temple!" Harry said, excitedly, as he slipped off of Nemmy's back and giving his all-time favorite goddess a big hug. She didn't seem too excited about it for some reason, and he hurriedly let her go.
"Oh?" Hestia asked, staring at the huge-screen TV. "How could you afford this? I didn't think I gave you that big of an allowance."
Harry suddenly realized that he may actually be in trouble, and looked down at the floor, where one of his feet was scoffing the floor. "Ehm… you see, Hestia… I…" he stammered.
Just spit in out, Harry," Hestia said, not unkindly but definitely stronger than usual. "Your hesitation is making me think things that are probably worse than reality."
"I… kind of… spent some of the maths money I won off the guys?" Harry said, his statement trailing of into a question.
"Oh?" Hestia asked, drawing the sound out. "I thought you said you were treating that as gold-color poker chips?"
"I kind of did," Harry admitted. "But today I was walking the market and I saw this shop advertising with the latest version of Hephaestus TV sets, so I was curious and took a look."
Hestia's face closed off, thinking that someone had taken advantage of poor little Harry, and that there was soon going to be a shopkeeper who was going to get a piece of her mind.
"And then I realized that I actually had money, you know?" Harry went on, cluelessly. "And I remembered how uncle Vernon used to say to never let them see you're impressed, and to never take the first offer, so I asked if they had anything bigger." He looked at the huge-screen TV again. "Turns out, she did. So I played at not being impressed and asked if they had a decent sound system to go with it. And they did. And I played it down."
Hestia looked surprised at the demigod she had been taking care of. It was starting to sound that Harry wasn't the one who had been taken advantage of. Instead, it sounded like Harry was doing the advantage-taking.
"And just how much did you haggle her down?" Hestia asked.
Harry grinned widely. "Let's just say that these speakers were free."
Hestia looked from the TV to the sound system to the speakers. "I see," she said, halfway between impressed and incredulous. For a moment, she felt sorry for the shopkeeper, those speakers looked expensive. Then, she remember that she was supposed to be upset with Harry, rather than impressed.
"Now, Harry, I believe we had a chat about gambling before, and you assured me that you were treating your winnings like chips rather than actual money," the Goddess of the Home said, crossing her arms, and doing her best to look stern; a task that was made harder by her being impressed with Harry's haggling skills.
Harry nodded again, and looked back to his one foot scuffing at the floor. "I know," he said. "But… I never was able to watch TV, and when I saw I had the money, and… and…"
"And you couldn't resist," Hestia finished.
Harry nodded contritely. "Are you really mad?" he asked, softly, looking hopefully at her.
Hestia sighed. "I am worried about you, Harry. I worry what would happen to you if you lost yourself to gambling. Playing for fun is one thing, but once you start having material gains from it, things can escalate."
"Oh," Harry answered. That made sense. "Would it help if I only ever played with the guys?" he asked. "It's just once every month or so, depending on schedules."
"I suppose," Hestia said, unable to get herself to be too upset with Harry. "As long as that is all that you do. Please promise me that you will be careful."
"I promise," Harry said. That wasn't a hard promise to keep.
"I do hope that you won't be spending everything in one place, however," Hestia added, still doing her best to remain stern.
Harry shook his head. "It was just the TV and sound system," he said. "Besides, I only spent some of the money I won off of Hermes, so you could say I was spending Hermes' money instead."
Hestia's lips twitched at the blatant attempt at deflecting the blame. Then, she realized what Harry said. "Some of the money you won off of my nephew?" she asked. "Just how much have you won?"
Harry shrugged. "I never counted, you know? But Hermes is rich, considering the amount of drachmas paid to Hermes Express. And Mister Triton is Prince of the Seas, so he's loaded, too. And Thor… well, I don't know if Thor himself knows how much money The Asgard Royal Family has. And then there's Bai. His element is metal – he conjures gold right out of thin air. 'wealthy' isn't what I would use to describe him."
Hestia, for the first time, realized just what kind of games Harry had been playing with the four gods, and just how much gold had been changing hands. "I see," she said, sounding about as stunned as she felt. "Would you care to show me?" she asked.
Harry nodded. "Sure!" he said. "This way!" he preceded her to his sleeping area, where the golden chest that he'd won off of Hermes was sitting on top of his dresser.
"What's this?" she asked.
"Some chest Hermes had lying about, that I won off of him some time back," Harry said. "It's a bit gaudy, but it tries to kill people who don't know how to open it correctly, so it's really secure." He carefully opened the lid, then motioned to Hestia. "It also appears to be bottomless, the more I put in it, the deeper it gets, despite not changing on the outside. It's a neat enchantment."
Hestia nodded, this not being the first bottomless item she had ever run across. Carefully, she looked inside, to find stacks of drachmas carefully put together next to stacks of generic gold coins and piles of gold bullion.
Yes, she realized, more gold had been changing hands than she had imagined. She would have to keep an eye on this. So far, it doesn't seem to have affect Harry too much or too badly, but she was definitely going to ensure that things stayed that way. More than one demigod had lost himself to gambling, she wasn't about to let Harry fall in the same trap.
Sometimes, she lamented quietly, a goddess' work was never done when looking out for a favorite mortal. She wondered how mortal parents did it.
0000
It had been another week since Harry had bought the huge-screen TV and accompanying surround system, a week he had used to catch up on some much-needed TV viewing.
It had also been another week he hadn't heard anything from Kukulkan, and Harry was starting to worry a bit. Did this mean things went well, or that things had gone horribly wrong and he'd better stay out of the former Mayan territories for the next few decades?
Deciding that it was better to bite the bullet and go see for himself, the demigod had taken a trip to the zoo.
As he did so, he realized he hadn't actually ever had a chance to go to the zoo, considering that the Dursleys had left him behind when taking Dudley. That thought had produced a momentary frown, coupled with a dark thought aimed in their direction, before he had brightened and decided to rectify that immediately.
And so it came to pass that Harry Potter took his first trip to the zoo. Considering that things could go very wrong when seeing Kukulkan, Harry decided that he would first see the other animals. That way, if things did go wrong, he had at least seen everything the place had to offer.
He enjoyed seeing the African animals up close, and carefully noted the differences with the versions he usually saw when visiting Marduk. The ones in the zoo looked better taken care of, being unhampered by predators and getting regular meals. The ones in Africa looked leaner, considering they got a lot more exercise.
He chuckled to himself when seeing a small pride of lions lounging in the shadow of a tree. The Nemean Lion looked far larger, and these ones didn't react when he waved at them. They still looked impressive, though, like all big cats did.
Enjoying himself, he saw the other animals. He loved the penguins for some reason, they looked like they were dressed up to go to some fancy party. The only thing missing was a bow-tie. And the way they walked was just funny.
When he completed his tour, he had no more excuses and so entered the reptile building.
He tried not to let it show that he understood Parseltongue. Most of the snakes there didn't seem to mind being on display, but some of them were definitely cranky. Then, he came across one enclosure where he just had to stop.
Just let me sleep off my meal, two-legger. Stop tapping the glass. Hey you, large two-legger! Tell your offspring to stop tapping the glass!
Harry sighed, and felt sorry for the poor snake. Casually, he joined the small group of people watching the enclosure, sidling up next to the small boy who seemed to take a delight in tapping the glass.
"I don't think you're supposed to do that," Harry whispered to him, pointing to the 'do not tap the glass' request.
"What's he going to do about it?" the boy demanded with a grin, pointing at the snake.
"He might well eat you," Harry replied, trying to hide his anger and making an effort to grin back. "Snakes are dangerous."
The boy shrugged, not seeming that impressed, but he did stop tapping the glass.
Harry winked at the snake.
Thanks, two-legger, the snake hissed at him.
Harry surreptitiously gave him a thumbs up and another wink, making sure nobody saw him. Turning, he continued his way down the hallway, looking at the various enclosures. Most snakes seemed to be resting, sleeping off their meals, completely ignoring the people coming to see them.
Then, he came to the last enclosure, the one that had been added the most recently. It was also, by far, the largest enclosure and had quite a crowd in front of it.
"It's so pretty!" one little girl at the front said to another, slightly larger girl who obviously was her sister.
"Yes it is!" the larger sister agreed.
Harry joined the crowd, and threw a look at the half-faded god Kukulkan.
Who looked far different to what he had looked like before. For one, he was at least a foot larger, and his scales glistened with good health. His feathers looked white enough to be almost luminescent, and the god had pooled himself in front of the window and seemed to enjoy basking in the attention of the visitors.
The god then noticed Harry.
Well then, look at you, the god told him. Come to visit old Kukulkan?
Harry nodded and grinned. He couldn't reply without drawing attention to himself; even his invisibility spell had limits. While he could make himself unseen and unheard, it would also mean Kukulkan couldn't see or hear him, so that was out.
This is by far the most brilliant idea a mortal ever had, Kukulkan told the demigod. I don't even need to scare these people! I haven't had to lunge at anyone to scare their pants off! See those two little female mortals discussing how pretty I am? Their father is the big mortal with the glasses, and he's absolutely terrified of snakes. Of course, he's trying not to let it show for his offspring.
Harry looked to the two sisters, still cooing about how pretty the feathered snake is, then glanced at up at their father, standing right behind them and looking rather pale.
And the best thing is, I get a dozen visitors like that a day. I don't need to scare anyone, they do it to themselves. It's absolutely delightful. Oh, the meals I get from those silly mortals, most filling! Tell your golden-furred mortal friend that she has my eternal thanks.
Harry grinned and nodded again. He couldn't blame Kukulkan if people with a fear of snakes came to see him.
Tell you what, Kukulkan said. I have been feeding well, and regained some of my power. I probably could rip a heart out now. Not that I would need to, as long as these silly mortals come and scare themselves right in front of me. Anyway, let me give you and your mortal friends a bit of a gift for finding a way to feed this old Mayan deity who was all but forgotten.
The tip of Kukulkan's tail pointed in Harry's direction, then made a movement that Harry had trouble tracking, as if it went in a direction that didn't actually exist to his mortal eyes.
You and your friends carry my blessing, Kukulkan said. No snake will ever harm you.
Whoa, that was a big one. Harry leaned closer to the glass, and did his best to pitch his voice so nobody heard him. Thank you, Mister Kukulkan, he said.
"Whoa! Did you just hiss at him?" the youngest sister asked.
"Ehm…" Harry said. "Just trying to get his attention."
The girl laughed. "You can't talk to snakes like that, silly!" she admonished him.
Harry grinned back. "You can't blame me for trying," he said, playing along.
"True," the little girl said, nodding sagely. "But it's still silly to expect it to work."
"True," Harry repeated her own reply back at her. "I think I'd better go before I do something even more silly."
The girl nodded seriously.
Harry grinned and waved; the girl though it was at her, and waved back cheerfully. In truth, he was waving at Kukulkan, who motioned a wave with the tip of his tail and turned back to look at his admirers.
As he left, Harry was smiling widely. He'd have to tell his friends about this, both about Kukulkan being happy, and his new blessing. What a nice gift to receive.