Deep in the Scottish Highlands, a smoldering campfire flared into life one final time, its flames turning green as they reached for the empty skies. As Harry stepped through, the fire died out, totally spent from its final act of defiance.
The young boy pulled out a map and a compass, oriented himself, and plotted a course. "Caerbannog should be a few hours that way," he told himself, actually pointing in the direction and matching it against his map.
Once again, he silently thanked Artie and Miss Zoë for teaching him how to read maps, and Miss Athena for having such a magnificent library where he could actually find references for the cave he was looking for.
Apparently, it was a little-known cave and appeared on very few maps. He was lucky enough to find this barely smoldering campfire that had been left behind by hikers earlier, or he would have actually been in big trouble getting there.
Even as it was, it would be a substantial hike.
As he walked, he also sulked slightly. Apparently, Nemmy, as a cat, had decided on being lazy and had refused to come on the trip. No matter how Harry tried to cajole, plead, or bribe him, the Nemean House Cat hadn't wanted to leave the warmth and shelter of the crackling hearth in Helios' Temple.
As the biting wind cut through his clothes, and rain started falling, the boy despondently looked up. He understood why his pet had decided to stay behind.
Apparently, Zeus was annoying even when he was across the Atlantic. Harry wondered for a moment whether the Thunder God would ever get tired of making it rain whenever he stuck his nose out the door.
Drawing his jacket closer around his body, he imaged warmth and threw shen at it. Immediately, the cold rain felt like a medium-temperature shower. He felt like throwing a victorious grin at the skies, but managed to refrain. Who knew what the childish King of the Gods would do to him if he knew his rains didn't affect Harry anymore?
The wind picked up, and even warm rain felt cold when cold wind struck it. He imagined more warmth, and followed it up by imagining his clothes to be both warmer and resistent to wind.
Feeling like he were dressed for an arctic expedition instead of a stroll through the Scottish Highlands, Harry proceeded to trek in the direction of Caerbannog, wondering what he was going to find there.
Even Athena's library didn't have much. Apparently, it had once sheltered the Holy Grail, and who- or whatever its guardian was had slaughtered a fair few of the Knights of Round Table, of King Arthur's fame.
Or so the legends said, anyway; Harry had studied enough to know not to put too much faith in legends. They often held a kernel of truth, but when it came to the Holy Grail, he was quite skeptical.
He ducked behind a convenient boulder, sheltering out of the wind and rain, and took out his map. The last thing he wanted was for the rains to damage it.
Making sure he was still going the right way, he put his map and compass away and started walking again.
While he enjoyed the hike, he didn't enjoy the weather.
0000
Harry had been walking for close to two hours, when he came upon the most unusual sight.
A woman and her young daughter seemed to be kneeling and intently studying something on the ground. Both were ignoring the pouring rains or the piercing winds. They were dressed in robes that Harry had only ever seen in fantasy novels, and yet both seemed incredibly comfortable in them.
"Oh, Hello!" the young girl said, looking up from whatever it was they were studying. "Have you come to search for Blibbering Humdingers as well?"
She had long, dirty-blonde hair and grey eyes. For a moment Harry wondered if the mystery girl could be a daughter of Athena, but then he noticed the girl's similarities with her mother.
"I have never heard of Blibbering Humdingers," Harry admitted, curiously, while stepping closer to see what had drawn their interest. He saw nothing out of the ordinary beyond wet ground and wet plants.
"Oh, they're intensely fascinating creatures, the girl said excitedly. "They're supposed to be migrating this time of year, and we were looking for tracks."
Harry nodded, that made sense. "That sounds interesting," he told the girl. "While I'm not looking for Humdingers, I am questing for Caerbannog," he explained and stuck out his hand. "I'm Harry Potter."
The girl seemed to have perpetually wide-open eyes, making her look surprised all of the time, but she easily smiled and grasped his hand. "Yes, you are," she answered, as if confirming what he already knew. "I'm Luna Lovegood."
Harry grinned. "Of course you are," he replied easily.
"I feel that I should point out that Caerbannog is dangerous," Luna's mother said, having stood up and walked over to where the two children were talking.
Harry nodded agreeably. "That makes sense. My teacher said he hid something there as a surprise to me, and it wouldn't be any fun for him if it weren't dangerous. He's just that sort of man."
The woman's eyes narrowed slightly. "That sounds dangerous."
"And exciting," Luna added, grabbing her mother's hand. "Mommy, you're being logical again. You know what Daddy said. It's not healthy."
The woman's shoulders drooped for a moment. "I know, Honey. But sometimes, being a responsible adult means… well, being responsible. And sometimes that means pointing out things that are dangerous."
Luna nodded. "And you have. It also sounds exciting."
Luna's mother rubbed her forehead for a moment, as if debating things. Finally, she turned back to Harry. "Caerbannog houses three things," she said, making Harry perk up. He'd only known it had a guardian and once housed the Grail!
"First, it has a guardian. Swift of foot and sharp of tooth, it will take the head of the unwary," Luna's mother said, as if trying to be overly dramatic. Harry nodded obediently, he'd known about the guardian.
Luna rolled her eyes, and caught his gaze. Adults, she mouthed, making the boy grin in answer.
"Second, it has a beast. A black beast. Most who throw an eye upon it do not live to tell the tale," the woman continued.
Harry nodded again, that sounded right up Ares' rather bloodthirsty alley. If she hadn't specifically said it was black, he'd assume it was another Hydra.
"Third, it asks of you three questions. Answer the questions correctly and you may pass. Fail, and you will be cast into the depths of the underworld."
Harry nodded a final time; if he failed that test he'd get to meet Mister Hades sooner than Hestia would have liked, but so far he didn't see any real downsides. Except maybe getting killed by that black beast thing, it sounded quite nasty.
"That still sounds exciting," Luna answered calmly, not scared in the least.
"You're not deterred in the least?" Luna's mother asked. "Most go running at the mention of the name, let alone its deadly contents."
Luna rolled her eyes again. "Those are the same adults that fear a made-up name of a washed-up Dark Lord," she said with the utter conviction of the young.
"Well, I am questing for it," Harry reminded her. "There's no sense in questing for something that isn't dangerous. Besides, my teacher hid me a surprise there. If it weren't dangerous, he'd have hidden it somewhere else. He's rather bloodthirsty in that way."
Luna nodded, as if this made perfect sense. "That makes perfect sense," she told him. "Perhaps he's infested with Nargles."
"That wouldn't surprise me," Harry admitted. Ares looked like he didn't care much about keeping clean, so who knew what he was infested with.
Luna held out a necklace that seemed to have some strange corks attached to it. "A necklace of butterbeer corks can keep them away, maybe you should make him one for his birthday," she suggested.
Harry fought to keep down a smile. Simply imagining Ares' reaction to the young boy giving him such a necklace to 'keep the Nargles away' was beyond funny. Harry, still fighting down laughter, looked at his new acquaintance. "Ares' reaction to me giving him such a necklace would be… funny," he admitted.
Luna nodded, taking both his statement and the name of his teacher in stride. "Of course, the God of War wouldn't wear perfectly functional jewelry," she replied.
Harry nodded agreeably, not surprised in the least that his new acquaintance readily accepted that his teacher was the actual God of War. She seemed like that kind of person.
He found he rather liked her.
"It also explains why you're sent to Caerbannog," Luna went on. "Only the God of War would be psychotic enough to hide something in those caves and then send a mortal after it."
Harry nodded again. "I know, right?" he replied. "He's a brilliant teacher, in so far as he teaches anything, and I'm sure I made a lot of progress while under his tutelage, but there are something I could do without."
"I'm sure he has his moments," Luna said diplomatically. "Would you like some company?"
"I would rather you didn't," Luna's mother said, calmly. "While it may be exciting, it's still dangerous. I'd rather not explain to your father that you got eaten by the Beast of Caerbannog."
Both children looked at her. Harry had forgotten she was there, to be honest. She didn't seem upset, but cautious. She also seemed like that she had a few doubts regarding his teacher, but was willing to take things on faith. He found that he rather liked that in an adult.
"I'd love some company," Harry said casually, turning back to Luna, ignoring how the woman stiffened. "I just don't want you to get in trouble with your mother." He also ignored how she relaxed. "So how about, you come along but just until the cave? It sounds like it could get sketchy and I wouldn't want you to get hurt, either."
Luna's mother seemed to relax further at that statement, a pleased smile at his compromise coming to her lips, but Luna shook her head. "I wouldn't be much of a sidekick if I didn't accompany the hero on the most dangerous part of the quest," she told him.
Harry blinked. "Sidekick?" he asked.
Luna nodded. "You're a hero on a quest, right?"
The young demigod shrugged. "I am on quest, yes, but I wouldn't call myself a hero."
"Only a true hero would decline being one," Luna answered. "And since you're a hero, and you met me, I therefore am a sidekick and that means I am to accompany you on your quest," she added; once again speaking as if everything made perfect sense.
Harry eyed the strange blonde for a moment, then shrugged. "I'm not going to stop anyone from coming with me, but please do be careful. I don't want you to get hurt. Or get in trouble with your mother."
Luna graced him with a smile. "Only a hero would care about strangers he had just met."
The young boy thought about that for a few moments, then decided on channeling Hestia. "We're not strangers," he said. "I know your name, you know my name, and we're going on a quest together. That makes us friends."
Luna's look of surprise seemed like it was more surprised than usual. "Do you mean that?" she asked, softly. She spoke as if she couldn't quite believe what he had just said, despite earlier acceptance of Gods of War and strange quests.
Harry nodded. "Of course I do. You don't joke about friendship."
She graced him with a wide and honest smile, and Harry realized that she probably didn't have a lot of friends. Further channeling Hestia, he acted how he believed she'd want him to act, and he hugged Luna.
She immediately hugged back. "It's ever so nice to have friends," she said. "I only have Ginny, and she has six older brothers who seem quite protective of her. They also don't like me much; they seem to think I'm strange and call me Loony."
Harry released her, and looked in her eyes from close range. "Why's that? You don't seem so strange to me," he answered.
Luna shrugged. "You're pretty strange yourself, questing for a dangerous cave because the God of War hid something there."
Harry laughed. "That's not as strange as it sounds. Ares is… well, Ares."
Luna nodded. "Perhaps we are the normal in a sea of strange," she offered.
"Probably," Harry answered. "Shall we? Caerbannog is that way, I believe."
"While I may be willing to guide you to the cave, I really wish you wouldn't enter," Luna's mother said. "While I can't stop Harry unless I use force, I can and will put my foot down when it comes to you, Honey," she added, eyes focused entirely on Luna. The woman suddenly looked a lot more put-together than she had been until now.
Harry sighed, she suddenly looked like an adult of the bad kind, the kind that would say things like 'putting their foot down' and making decisions for young people without asking their opinion.
"But Mom, I have to. I'm not just a sidekick, I'm a friend!" Luna protested. "And what kind of friend would I be if I let my friend get eaten by some beast in a cave?"
Luna's mother rubbed her forehead again. "Honey, going with you on a search for creatures is one thing. Going to Caerbannog when it can get us killed is another. I'm saying no."
Harry sighed; adults were so useless.
"I also wish you would reconsider, young man," the woman said, turning to Harry. "While I can't make the decision for you, I do wish that you'd listen to me. I couldn't live with myself if any young boy got hurt doing something like going to Caerbannog, and that's without taking into consideration that you're Harry Potter."
Harry looked even more confused. "What does my name have to do with anything?" he asked, before looking at Luna.
"You're quite famous," the girl explained. "My mom can be a bit high-strung sometimes."
"I am trying to be a responsible adult," the woman said. "It's what's expected of me. Again, I do not want to be the one who has to break the news of you – either of you – being eaten by a beast."
Luna grabbed her mother's hand and gave it a squeeze. "Calm down, Mommy," she implored softly.
The woman drew a deep breath. "Won't you come with us, instead?" she asked. "I'm sure we could get some lovely sand cookies on the way."
Luna leaned closer to Harry. "It's false advertising, I've never been able to find any sand in them," she explained. "They're quire nice, though. I think you'd like them."
Harry grinned at her, amused at her taking the name literally. He then looked up at the hopeful-looking woman.
And shook his head. "I know better than to go with a strange adult," he replied, opening his jacket and lifting his shirt to display the scar he'd gotten when he'd been foolish enough to trust a woman on the streets fo New York. "Last time I trusted a strange woman, I got stabbed trying to escape."
The woman seemed surprised, then angry. "Usually, that's a good attitude to have. But I'm not a stranger," she explained.
"I don't recall you ever giving me your name," he answered with a grin, allowing a bit of sarcasm to seep into his voice.
The woman rubbed her forehead again, as if fighting a headache. "I'm Pandora Lovegood, Luna's mother," the woman finally introduced herself. "And I still wish you would reconsider."
"I'm sorry, Harry. She's a good mom, really, but she's a bit high-strung and overprotective, like I said," the girl offered, before turning to her mother. "Mommy, Harry wouldn't be going alone as we'd be going with him. It's his quest, he has to do it, and he may as well get help, right?"
Pandora muttered something about being surrounded by Lovegoods. "Honey, Caerbannog is-"
"Dangerous, yes, you told us," Luna said, interrupting her mother. "Which is precisely why we can't let him go by himself. Father would have jumped at the chance to explore and see the monsters. Who knows, we could find an English Crumple-Horned Snorkack in the cave."
Pandora sighed and nodded. "That is true," she muttered.
Harry grinned at Luna, who grinned back. Happily, he took out his map and compass, made sure of his bearing, and pointed. "We're going that way."
"Yes, I know," Pandora said, apparently accepting the inevitable. "Will you at least promise to be careful?"
Harry nodded cheerfully, and hooked his arm through Luna's before they started walking.
As they walked off, Luna started on a lovely presentation on the life ofBlibbering Humdingers. As Harry had never heard of the creatures, the lecture was quite informative. Luna was an excellent storyteller.
Pandora, walking behind them, shook her head; every now and then she tried to instill in Harry just how big the danger was he was walking into.
Harry, already familiar with danger thanks to his rather unusual close combat teacher, politely nodded and pressed on regardless. Hestia would have been disappointed if he hadn't been polite, after all.
"Caerbannog is over this hill," Pandora finally said. "Danger awaits you with big, nasty, pointy teeth."
Harry nodded amicably, a small smile on his lips. That sounded like something Ares would cook up, alright. He emerged his shield, bracers, and Hestia's Lasso, ready to protect himself and catch whatever the monster was.
"Ooh, divine weapons," Luna cooed at the sight. "Are they as powerful as they appear?"
Harry grinned. "The shield's awesome, and so are the bracers, and the Lasso – well, nothing compares to the Lasso of Truth."
Pandora, gaping at the divine weaponry on display, said nothing, but Luna nodded thoughtfully. "I can see why you'd think that," she said. "The Lasso does indeed have some advantages the other items lack."
Harry gave her an honest smile. "I'm so glad you agree with me."
Pandora, still saying nothing, just guided them further. As they emerged at the top of the hill, they were finally able to look at what lay beyond it.
A cave was recessed into the hills that lay beyond the top they had just crested; no tree or shrub or blade of grass grew in the small depression. Skulls and bones littered the barren soil, and Pandora immediately motioned for the two children to lie down flat.
The miasma of death and decay that clung to the ground had shattered the mood, and immediately Harry felt like he should have taken Pandora's warnings more seriously. In a quick flick of the eyes, he had counted the remains of dozens of victims; at the same time some sort of deep, rasping, breathing noise was audible coming from the cave.
Harry dropped to the ground, right next to Pandora, Luna not far behind.
"Behold the cave of Caerbannog," Pandora whispered.
Harry and Luna remained motionless for a few moments, before Harry started to straighten up. This was his quest, after all!
"Stay down! There he is!" Pandora hissed, just as something moved near the entrance of the cave, moving out of the shadows and into the pale sunlight of the winter Highlands.
The creature that emerged from the cave wasn't what Harry had expected; it was white, and fluffy, and had red eyes, and looked like a cute little bunny.
And yet, his instincts were beating the drum, warning him of impending disaster if he ever crossed the fearsome guardian.
"It's a Tusked War Rabbit!" Luna said, excitedly, almost rising to her feet but being pulled down by her mother before she could get there.
"Stay down! That's the most foul, bad-tempered rodent you've ever set eyes on!" Luna's mother whispered as she pulled her daughter down.
Harry, still feeling his instincts urging him to turn around and go to be with a cup of hot milk, conjured up a pair of binoculars. "Ehm, Luna?" he asked.
"Yes, Harry?" the blonde asked, as if they were simply strolling along the beach.
"That rabbit doesn't have tusks," he said, holding out the conjured binoculars to his friend.
"It doesn't? Oh, poo!" Luna pouted as she accepted the item and took a look. "It's a regular War Rabbit, then, I suppose," she added conversationally.
"You can conjure binoculars?" Pandora asked, as if desperately trying to take her mind off of what was happening.
"They're just an illusion," Harry said as he stopped feeding the construct energy and letting it dissipate. "If you stop feeding it energy it just vanishes."
Pandora looked like she were about to start a first-degree interrogation of Harry's magical skills, when Luna grabbed her mother's hand and calmed her down before she could speak. "You've got to forgive Mommy, Harry. She's a spell crafter and loves working on magical spells," the girl said instead to Harry.
The young boy nodded and graced them both with a smile. "Sure," he answered, before looking back at the rabbit. It looked like a normal, harmless, little white bunny; however the amount of skeletons littered around the entrance of the cave spoke of its ferocity.
He checked his shield and the Lasso one final time and stood up. "Here goes nothing," he told Luna and her mother, then stepped down the hill.
Towards the rabbit.
Which was still fluffy and white and red-eyed, looking like the pet of children the world over.
His instincts screamed at him to run and not look back. Blinking, he shook his head, trying to clear the emotions. What was wrong with him?
Suddenly, the rabbit leaped and Harry instinctively ducked behind his shield; the next moment something slammed into his defenses with a metallic ringing sound. The impact was ferocious enough that it bruised his arm through the shield and caused his planted feet to slide on the ground.
"What the…?" Harry said, aborted his cuss before he could get in trouble with Hestia. Cautiously, he looked over the edge of his shield. "That would have taken my head off!" He wasn't sure how he knew, but he just knew that the ferocious little monster was going for the neck in order to take people's heads off.
The War Rabbit seemed to glare at him, then leaped again. Harry ducked behind the shield again, causing a second impact that was just as ferocious as the first, deepening the bruising on his left arm.
As soon as the impact abated, Harry lowered his shield and threw the Lasso with his right hand.
Despite the Divine Weapon's agility, the War Rabbit dodged. In fact, it jinked, quickly enough to leave after-images. First left, then right, then left again, blurring afterimages fading with speed, before leaping at him again.
Harry barely managed to get his shield up in time, and in fact clipped the rabbit as he did so, sending the ferocious beast tumbling. It somehow landed on all fours and immediately sprung at him again.
Harry dropped and rolled, coming to his feet not far away but managing to making the in-mid-air Rabbit miss. It landed, once more leaving after-images as it sprung about to face its opponent once more.
For a moment, there was a lull, both eyeing the other. "What are you?" Harry asked, in exasperation. As he tried desperately to catch his breath, he wished he had an area-of-effect weapon. Something like a grenade. Or a tank.
"It's a genuine War Rabbit," Luna said, from not far away.
Harry looked at her. That break in concentration was all the little monster needed and it sprung at Harry once more.
"Eep!" Harry managed, nearly stumbling over his own Lasso, barely managing to dodge the War Rabbit's flying tackle aimed at his neck. "Will you stop that!" he yelled at it.
The Rabbit seemed disinclined to listen to him, and blurred once more, jinking left, right, left, before jumping at Harry.
Who had his shield up, and braced himself behind it.
A flying white War Rabbit met a braced Celestial Bronze shield with all the speed and impact of a steam train hitting a mountain. Harry yelped as his bruised arm bruised deeper, and his feet dug into the ground from where they were braced.
At the precise moment of impact, Harry actually pushed forward, as if trying to impart extra force to the strike.
The War Rabbit let out a ferocious hissing noise that should not be coming from a rabbit's throat, and Harry heard it land.
The Guardian of Caerbannog glared at him, beady red eyes glittering with malice, before it glanced at Luna.
Luna who, despite her mother's best efforts, was standing not too far away, seemingly enjoying an afternoon stroll and had stopped to enjoy the scenery.
The War Rabbit glanced at her, then at Harry, then back at her. And for a moment, Harry could have sworn that the ferocious little beast was smirking.
Harry found himself already moving before it did its leaping attack, and managed to get in front of Luna, crossing his arms and letting the little monster impact the kinetic shield created by his bracers.
He actually saw the War Rabbit touch the shield with all four legs, as if making ready to bounce off of it, when Harry snarled and slapped the bracers together.
He had a basic, theoretical, understanding of what was supposed to happen. However, there is a big difference between knowing that hitting the bracers will release all their stored energy at once and actually seeing it happen.
It was as if he and Luna were at ground zero of a tornado touching down, with rocks and dirt and War Rabbit picked up and thrown backwards at a ferocious speed, striking them against the rocks and walls of the crags surrounding Caerbannog.
The War Rabbit, not having expected that, had struck the rocks with enough force that it was stunned, and Harry, trained by the Huntress as he was, had his hunting knife out in just a moment, and stabbed at the little monster.
The War Rabbit, down but not out, managed to dodge. Slightly. It was groggy, and hadn't the speed it displayed before, and Harry's clean strike designed to end it quickly turned into a jagged slice that bled profusely.
Aborting another cuss, Harry struck again. The War Rabbit, groggy and bleeding, did not manage to dodge a second time. Harry's knife went into the Rabbit's heart, and it stopped moving.
"What a shame, a War Rabbit would have made a great pet," Luna said, with all the airiness of someone commenting on the weather.
"You'd never be able to tame it," Harry said, looking at the rabbit's corpse; a corpse that soon started dissolving into golden motes.
"I didn't know War Rabbits could do that," Luna said, actually sounding awed.
Harry grinned. "It's leaving a Spoil of War," he answered her unasked question. The rabbit's body vanished into golden light entirely, leaving behind a single rabbit's foot on a chain.
Harry frowned slightly and picked it up. His probability senses, the instincts he'd gotten from his mother, warned him.
"A lucky rabbit's foot," Luna commented again. "I never saw what was so lucky about cutting some poor rabbit's foot off myself."
Harry looked at the item in his hands. "This… this isn't a lucky rabbit's foot," he said, looking as if he had been punched in the stomach. "This… this thing is wrong."
"Oh?" Luna asked, ignoring her mother making her way own the slopes. From her footsteps, she sounded angry.
"This thing 'helps' the wielder by making everyone around them unlucky. Lethally so, in some cases," Harry explained.
They heard Luna's mother trip over something, followed by a sharp cracking noise and a stream of inventive profanity.
"Mommy?" Luna asked, racing to her mother's side.
Harry was there in a flash as well. Luna's mother managed to take out her wand and wave it at her ankle – an ankle that looked like it had a few extra joints in all the wrong places.
Waving her wand, she studied the results, before uttering more profanity. Luna looked like she was taking notes. Harry knew that Hestia would have a look of supreme disappointment if he ever were to use those words himself, and decided to file them for more appropriate circumstances. Maybe he could get away with them some other time.
"How did I manage a triple compound fracture from a simple trip over a rock?" the woman complained, still studying the results of her spell.
Harry eyed his new spoil. He had a suspicion.
"No matter," the woman muttered, and spelled her ankle. The damage seemed to flow in reverse and within moments, her ankle looked as good as new. "There, that's better," she said, standing up.
Harry was impressed, that ankle looked painful. Maybe he needed to learn some healing as well? He should ask Hestia if it were alright for him to approach Mister Apollo for some lessons; she'd know better if that was alright or not.
"Now, Young Lady," Luna's mother said, looking at her daughter. "I believe I told you to stay with me."
Luna nodded. "You did, Mommy. And then I decided to go closer and have a better view."
Pandora looked like she had a headache. "I expected you to do as I asked."
The young girl nodded. "I know, Mommy. And I expected to be able to see the War Rabbit, so I ignored you."
Pandora really looked like she had a headache now. "You need to listen when I tell you these things, Luna."
The girl nodded obediently. "I listened, Mommy. Then I decided to go closer and see the War Rabbit."
Her mother was rubbing her temples now. "Listening means obeying, Luna."
"Ooh," Luna said, as if something suddenly made sense. "I'll try and remember that for next time, Mommy."
Pandora let out a keening noise. "Make sure you do," she said.
Harry caught Luna's eye, wondering if the blonde knew what she had just promised. Luna looked back, her lips twitching. Yes, she did know.
She'd promised to try. She hadn't promised to obey. Harry grinned at her. She was sneaky. He liked that in a friend; adults were to be humored, they weren't to be obeyed.
"Let's explore the cave the War Rabbit was guarding," Luna said, diverting attention and pointing to the cave.
Harry nodded. "Ares said he put my surprise in there," he said.
Pandora rubbed her temples. "Sure, let's go explore the cave guarded by the most ferocious rabbit in existence," she said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
Harry looked at Luna, wondering what to do. The blonde beamed at her mother. "So glad you agree, Mommy!" she chirped, completely ignoring the sarcasm, and grabbing Harry's arm before making her way to the cave. Harry, not really needing a lot of encouragement, went along with her, smiling widely.
He liked his new friend a lot.
They entered the cave, Pandora trudging along behind them. The cave was dark, and as they descended the ceiling rose until it all but vanished into the gloom.
Holding up one hand, Harry pushed some Shen energy into an illusion of light. Thankfully, even illusionary light allowed them to see.
"I really want to study how you do magic," Pandora said.
"Mommy, he's my friend, not a test subject," Luna chided.
"And I would just ask hiom to cast some spells," her mother replied. "Not carve him open to see how he works."
Luna simply nodded, as if such a thing never had crossed her mind, then took Harry further in. He was slightly surprised, he had thought he was supposed to take the lead on this. However, if Luna wanted to do it, he wasn't going to stop her.
Besides, she constantly held his arm, like in the old-timey books in the fiction section of Athena's library. He wondered whether or not he should start calling her My Lady if she kept it up.
As they went deeper, Harry felt like there should have been some kind of heavy breathing noise to accompany the atmosphere. If Ares created this cave, he certainly went all-out to make it feel creepy. The cave was deep, and had the kind of atmosphere that would have inspired dread, if only he wasn't accompanied by Luna Lovegood. Luna Lovegood who seemed to be eternally optimistic and knew only the dictionary definition of the word 'fear', but never actually experienced it.
As they descended, she kept up a cheerful chatter about all kind of strange creatures that lived in caves. Things like a Texan Blind Salamander, which made him think of a fire-breathing lizard with no eyes.
Still, it made him pay attention to her rather than to the creepy cave, so he was fine with it.
"Over there! Look!" Harry said, interrupting his friend's tale of something called a cave snail. He pointed to a section of cave wall, littered with an inscription of some kind.
Luna peered at it. "It seems to be writing of some kind," she said, rubbing her chin, trying to sound as if she were a scholar deciphering the mysteries of the universe.
"Just let me see," Pandora Lovegood said, crowding the two children. "It's Aramaic," she immediately identified.
"What does it say, Mommy?" Luna asked, looking up at her mother, who was intently studying the wall.
"Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea," Pandora read from the wall. "He who is valiant and pure of spirit, may find the Holy Grail in the castle of Argh."
"Argh?" Harry asked, doing an adequate impression of someone screaming while falling to their death.
"Argh," Pandora confirmed with a nod, simply saying the word as written.
"That sounds like a scream of some kind," Harry said.
Luna nodded. "It is very peculiar how the scribe chiseled his scream onto a wall," she said, rubbing her chin again and once more trying to sound like a professor bestowing wisdom upon a student.
Pandora looked freaked out, so Harry turned back to Luna. "What do you think, Luna?"
The blonde shrugged. "We're not after the Holy Grail – besides, that's been found decades ago. The scream was for the dreaded black beast that lived in this cave, but it's dead, so we don't need to pay attention to that either." She smiled cheerfully at him. "Shall we go on?"
"Is there really a Holy Grail?" Harry asked, considering what he knew.
Luna shrugged. "It could be a ruse. Or a fake," she answered breezily, as if it were nothing of importance.
Harry ruminated on her words for a few moments, then decided that Ares had a very surreal sense of humor. If he really created this cave, that was. Maybe he just hijacked it.
"How do you know this?" Harry asked, trying to change the subject.
Luna smiled mysteriously. "A girl has her secrets, Harry. I would have thought that, being friends with quite a few girls, you would have known that already."
The young boy was silent for a few more moments thinking about it, before nodding. "Fine," he accepted. "We're not after the grail and the monster's dead. Let's go on," he said, deciding on trusting Luna's word. Worst came to worse, they'd have to fight a monster and maybe grab themselves a Grail. He knew how his luck worked.
"Splendid!" Luna said, bouncing up and down and clapping her hands before grabbing Harry's arm and pulled him along while making it look like he was the one leading. That last part was new, but Harry didn't mind. Luna was fun and Ares' 'surprise' was turning out to be far more surreal than expected.
Pandora remained silent as the children pushed on.
Ten minutes later, the two children and one adult had to skirt around the remains of something with huge horns, too many eyes, and a too-large mouth. Something that was, definitely, most assuredly, dead.
"I wonder who killed it," Harry said. "Especially since it seems to be in remarkable shape and it didn't leave a spoil of war."
Luna shrugged. "It doesn't have any wounds. Maybe it died of a heart attack."
"How do you know these things?" Harry repeated, before answering himself when her smile turned mysterious. "Yes, yes, I know, a girl has her secrets."
Luna hugged his arm tighter. "Girlish secrets and some rituals to certain Great Old Ones who provide knowledge if you know how to ask for it." She winked at him. "But that's a secret, most people frown on that sort of thing."
"Oh," Harry said, thinking that over for a few moments. "That makes sense." He winked at her. "Your secrets are safe with me."
"I know," Luna replied airily, once more dragging him on deeper.
Suddenly, they emerged from the cave into tepid twilight of a waning sun. The path they emerged on was narrow, flanked on one side by mountains and on the other by a sheer drop. Magma bubbled deep below them, spewing smoke into the air and giving the entire scene a sense of heat and dread.
"Ares outdid himself," Harry said. Now this was the sort of scenery he'd expected from the God of War – death, mist, sheer drops into boiling lava.
Luna nodded. "The God of War is good at war – even psychological ones."
Harry frowned. "Wait, you said that the Grail had been found and that the monster inside of it was dead. Does this mean that this cave existed before? I mean, your mother knew of it, and knew what was inside of it, so it must have existed before, right? That means Ares didn't create it."
The blonde grinned at him cheerily. "Both can be true, Harry. The God of War created the cave and it existed before."
The boy looked at his new friend with a frown on his forehead. "How does that work?"
"Ares created it just now, hundreds of years ago," Luna explained as if it made perfect sense.
Harry continued to look flummoxed.
"You need to think four-dimentionally," she said to alleviate his confusion.
"My head hurts," Harry muttered, rubbing his forehead. Time travel. Great.
Luna grinned. "Exactly," she said with a big smile, as if his statement of pain was the right answer. "Let's move on. Next we have the Bridge of Death. The old Keeper of the Bridge of Death died, so there's a new one, who looks exactly like the old one."
They shuffled along the narrow path way, before, in the distance, they saw an ancient rope bridge emerge from the fog of the magma deep below. In front of the bridge stood an old man, dressed in a shaggy cloak.
"He asks three questions, answer successfully and you can cross in safety," Luna said. "Answer a question wrong and you are cast into the… well, down there," she said, pointing to the bubbling magma.
Harry winced. Pandora shuddered.
"So, who goes first?" Luna asked, sounding as if she were really excited about going first, and was just asking tobe polite.
Pandora grabbed her daughter by the shoulder and physically pushed her back. "I'll go first. I'm the adult, I have better chances of making it across," she said as she strode forward.
Harry looked at Luna, who pouted like a little girl at not getting to go first. Noticing Harry looking at her, she said, "Adults are silly creatures, aren't they?"
Harry nodded in agreement. "Assuming they know more just because they're older," he confirmed.
Pandora, meanwhile, had reached the old man guarding the Bridge of Death. It looked old and rickety as it swayed in the updrafts coming from the hot lava below.
Harry and Luna casually shifted closer so they could listen in. As they did so, the other end of the Bridge was revealed to them.
On the other side of the gapin chasm was an platform, upon which stood a stone table. It was built from the same volcanic rock as the surrounding crags, and held a long, rectangular box made out of thick cardboard.
"Ares may have created the cave just now, but hundreds of years ago, but he definitely altered the layout just now-now," Luna commented.
"Unless that table used to hold the Grail?" Harry offered.
Luna shook her head. "You saw the inscription, it was held at castle Argh. Not a stone table," she replied as if it were an everyday occurrence.
Harry rubbed his forehead again, his headache was coming back.
Meanwhile, Pandora had reached the Keeper of the Bridge of Death. He was short, old, and decrepit-looking, with a large wart on his nose, a long beard and even longer hair that fell in uncombed mats across his shaggy robe. His right eye was closed, as if he had lost it ages ago, while his left appeared to have no pupil, yet was wide-open and able to see regardless.
"Halt! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me, these questions three!" the Keeper intoned. "Ere the other side he see!"
"Ask me your questions," Pandora replied, trying to sound brave while unable to hide the tremor in her voice.
"What," the Keeper asked, menacingly, "is your name?"
Pandora blinked. "Pandora Lovegood," she answered.
Harry and Luna looked surprised, before Harry face-palmed. "Mister Ares' sense of humor, no doubt. Scare people with nothing," he muttered. "Gods, this is one weird quest."
Luna giggled.
"What," the Keeper went on, just as menacingly, "is your quest?"
Pandora, obviously feeling as confused as the children, and trying to look for the hidden danger, answered hesitatingly, "to make sure my daughter and her new friend make it out of this alive?"
The Keeper leaned in, a nasty smile on his old face. "What," he asked, "is your favorite color?"
"Red," Pandora blurted out without thinking.
"Right, across you go," the Keeper said, suddenly neither menacing or threatening and motioning to the bridge.
"Oh," Pandora said, surprised. "Thank you?"
"You're welcome," the Keeper answered amicably as the blonde woman glanced at the two children before striding across the swaying bridge. She reached the other side without issue.
"Oh, Mister Ares," Harry muttered. "This is awful. If I tell Miss Athena about the level of your questions, she'll laugh at you forever."
"Maybe you shouldn't blab about the God of War to the Goddess of Wisdom," Luna counseled. "Him being the God of War, Ares could make your life very difficult."
Harry nodded. "True enough. Besides, despite everything, I do respect Mister Ares a lot. And sometimes, I even like him. A bit. But don't tell anyone."
Luna grinned at him. "Now you know a secret of mine and I know a secret of yours. I love having a friend!" she said. "Shall we?" she asked, motioning to the Keeper.
"We shall," Harry said, cutting in line and approaching the Keeper.
"Halt!" the Keeper stated, menacing once more. "Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me, these questions three, ere the other side he see!"
"Ask me your questions, Keeper," Harry said, trying to remain friendly with the old man.
"What is your name?" The Keeper asked.
"Harry Potter," Harry answered amicably.
"What is your quest?"
"To get the surprise Mister Ares hid for me on the other side," Harry answered.
"What," the Keeper asked, leaning closer and suddenly exuding menace he hadn't before. "Is the next prime number after 317?"
Harry blinked, and answered automatically, "331."
The Bridgekeeper nodded cheerily, and stepped back. "Right you are, go on then."
Harry nodded in acceptance. He hadn't expected the question, but Athena's repetitive drills in mathematics had paid off. He wondered a moment why he got a harder question than Pandora, but then ignored it. He'd answered correctly, that was all that mattered.
"That was impressive," Luna told Harry as he looked at her, suddenly worried for his new friend.
"When you're a student of Miss Athena, you're expected to know a lot of things," he answered.
Luna accepted that answer with a nod as Harry turned to make his way across the bridge.
"Halt! Who approaches the Bridge of Death must answer me, these questions three, ere the other side he see!" the Keeper intoned, once more all menace and doom.
Luna smiled cheerily, as if the atmosphere had no impact on her whatsoever.
"What is your name?" the Keeper demanded.
"Luna Lovegood," Luna answered cheerfully.
"What is your quest?" was the next demand.
"To help my friend on his quest," Luna answered truthfully.
Once more, the Keeper leaned in for his menacing third question. "What," he demanded, "is the average lifespan of the cat known as the Jaguar, known in the scientific community as the Panthera onca?"
Luna blinked, thought for a second, then replied, "15 years on average."
The Keeper nodded and let her pass. As she stepped next to him, Luna turned to the old man, and said, "I am so pleased your learned from your predecessor and learnt to ask precise questions."
The old man nodded. "I know," he answered, shaking his head. "To not know the difference in unladen carrying capacity between European or African swallows is inexcusable in a Bridgekeeper."
Luna nodded once, offered him a friendly smile regardless, and crossed the bridge.
"What was that about?" Harry asked her. From her obsession with animals, he wasn't surprised at her knowledge of life expectancy trivia of various animals, but the comments she made did confuse him.
Luna gave him a grin. "The old Bridgekeeper asked what the carrying capacity of an unladen swallow was. The applicant was confused and asked whether the Keeper meant the African or European swallow; the Keepr replied he didn't know, and was sucked into the lava because he failed to answer the question correctly."
Harry stared at her. "You mean we could have all crossed by asking an unanswerable question?"
Luna smiled mischievously. "Who knows? We all answered correctly, though, so it doesn't matter."
The boy sighed and shook his head in obvious tolerance while they reached the other side.
"Well, here it is," Pandora said, obviously impatient.
Harry grinned at her, then approached the heavy cardboard box sat upon the obsidian table. Carefully, he worked the lid off of it, then turned bright red as he stared inside.
"Hey, it's a pair of swimming trunks!" Luna shouted excitedly and grabbed the item of clothing. "Huh, they're heavy. Like they're reinforced."
Harry turned even redder. "It's a pair of armored swimming trunks," he muttered. "That'll teach me to mouth off against the God of War."
Pandora seemed to be stifling a laugh while Luna giggled mercilessly while playing with the bullet proof piece of clothing.
Harry just blushed and tried to hide his face behind his hands. This was mortifying!
"Hey, this box is a lot bigger than it needs to be for a piece of clothing," Luna remarked. "I think there's something beneath it."
Harry cautiously peeked from behind his hands, and reached into the box again. The bottom felt like foam of some kind, and he was able to peel it back, revealing a second compartment beneath it.
This second, bottom, compartment held a short sword. To an adult, it would have been a long dagger, but to a growing boy like him, it was the perfect size for a one-handed short sword.
"Whoa," Harry said, noticing the exquisite craftsmanship of the weapon. As he reached for it, his eye fell on a note stuck to the bottom next to the weapon.
He picked it up and unfolded it, before letting out a whistle as he read its contents.
"Don't keep us in the dark, ti's not nice," Luna admonished with a small giggle.
"Greetings," Harry read. "I am the God Slayer. When wielding me, know that s sword must be three things," he continued. "One, a sword must be loyal. Call for me, and I will come to your hand. Two, a sword must be powerful. Use me in battle and I will take your enemies' skills for my own. Three, A sword must be versatile. Ask me, and I will change size and shape to match the circumstances."
Luna whistled while Pandora stared at the weapon in the box in shock.
Harry grinned, folded up the note, stuck it in his pocket, and picked out the weapon. Contrary to the swords he'd used at camp, this one was balanced perfectly and it fit in his hand as if molded to it.
"This is awesome," Harry said.
A foreign presence made itself known in his mind, a presence that was both smug and grateful.
Harry wanted to comment out loud on the sword communicating with him, when the foreign presence warned him against the action. Somehow, it seemed to tell him that people didn't react well to weapons with awareness.
So the young boy kept quiet, just staring at his new weapon.
"It said it can change shape," Luna commented. "What can it do?"
Harry kept looking at the sword, and silently asked it to change into an arming sword. Just as silently, the sword grew into a longer one-handed sword, perfectly sized and shaped for Harry's current physical size. Somehow, he knew that the sword would grow along with him.
"Whoa, that's awesome," Luna said.
Harry, remembering some cartoons he had once seen through a crack in his cupboard door, wondered what the limits of the sword were, and what else it could do.
The sword casually informed Harry that it was a sword with minor shape-shifting abilities. It cut people. Sometimes, it stabbed people. And it could, theoretically, do the Sword of Omens trick of shifting from a one-handed short sword to a two-handed longsword. In steps, and on command, even. But it didn't have any of the abilities he was thinking of. No, it couldn't summon any Thundercats, assuming those even existed, nor could it use the Power of Grayskull, should it even exist, to transform someone into he-man, and it certainly wasn't made of Star Metal capable of banishing any Lizard People, should those even be a thing, back to their home dimension.
Harry didn't mind any of those things, he had a shape-changing sword that could turn into the Sword of Grayskull or the Sword of Omens like the old He-man or Thundercats cartoons, even if it couldn't do their tricks.
As a response to his thoughts, the arming sword changed into a short sword that looked identical to the Sword of Omens.
"Neat!" Luna squealed.
"Isn't it?" Harry asked with a huge grin.
Pandora looked like she wanted to get out of there right now, and Harry wanted to go back to the Temple of Helios and experiment with the whole 'take your enemies' powers for its own' ability of his sword. He started having a look around to avoid having to trudge all the way back through the cave, when the young boy found that a scabbard was leaning in a corner not too far away.
It was hidden in plain sight and if he hadn't looked, he probably would have missed it. Picking it up, he asked the sword to change into a shape to fit the scabbard, before girding it on.
He continued his look around, and found a small amount of dead branches that had been wind-swept onto a pile. It wasn't much more than a pile of kindling, really, and Harry guessed he wouldn't get more than five or ten minutes of burn-time out of it, but it was enough for what he wanted to do with it.
"If you can tell me where you live, I can get you home," Harry said as he waved his hand to set the branches alight.
Pandora looked at him like he had lost his mind. Luna, on the other hand, simply told him, as if it were no big deal, "We live at The Rookery."
Harry nodded, turned to the fire, and looked at it. It turned green.
"Not only can you start fires with a wave of your hand, but you can floo from any fire without floo powder as well?" Pandora asked, shocked.
Harry shrugged self-consciously, not really sure how to answer that. Luna grinned, and gave him a hug. "This was fun," she said. "We should do this again sometime. Come and visit, Harry," she ordered.
He gave her a nod. "I will, and we should," he replied with a smile.
"Come along, Mommy," Luna said, taking her mother by the hand and leading her through the fire as if she were a small child. The two vanished and the fire returned to normal.
Seeing that his firewood was all but gone, Harry hurried to get through to Helios' temple before he left himself stranded.
He emerged in the temple, and greeted Helios with a cheerful announcement of his return. Immediately, helios' presence swarmed around him, as if both asking, and looking for itself, whether he was alright.
"I'm fine," Harry said, still cheerful. He drew his new weapon. "Mister Ares left me this. Oh, and a pair of armored swimming trunks. Which I think Luna took, now that I think about it."
Helios' presence felt teasing, references random girls taking what basically amounted to his underwear, and Harry shook his head in tolerance. "Luna's a girl I met on the quest. She's fun," he answered.
As he walked to his bedroom, he continued his chat with Helios. The faded god slipped back into the background afterwards, and Harry sat down on his bed.
"The paper said you grew stronger for defeating enemies," Harry said to his new sword. "How does that work?"
The sword communicated that it could absorb the properties of various substances or energies and bring them forth at will. For example, if it were exposed to a fire-attack, the sword would be able to burn enemies at will, or turn the effect off if Harry wanted a simple cut without it being cauterized.
Harry grinned, and went to a drawer. He took out the two spoils Ares had given him, the ones from when he had been pitched against the Hydra and nearly made it.
"Well now, then you're about to gain venom and acid," he told the blade, before uncorking the vial of Hydra venom, and letting a few drops of the potent poison fall on the blade. The drops were immediately absorbed, but the blade explained that it would need more of the substance if it were to replicate the effect fully.
Harry slowly poured the rest of the venom onto his blade, the weapon absorbing the potent viscous liquid quite readily. When the sword told him it had enough, Harry only had about a quarter of a vial left, but his blade was now able to poison people when it cut.
Or not, if Harry decided against it.
The boy grinned, corked the vial of venom to preserve what little he had left, then took the vial of acid. "Here comes the second one," he said, dropping some of the acid onto the blade.
The potent acid smoked when it touched the weapon, and Harry felt a shudder coming from it. Immediately, he stopped, fearing he was aboout to destroy his new sword, before being told by the presence in his mind that he should keep going.
The blade, despite smoke coming from where it had absorbed the acid, did look pristine, so Harry kept pouring slowly. Like with the poison, he ended up with only a quarter vial left by the time the blade had enough.
But now he had a shape-shifting sword that would come to his hand when called, and could poison people or melt things like acid. Not to mention what else it might learn from fighting enemies in the future.
Ares probably didn't realize just how potent this weapon was, Harry thought. Or maybe he did, and just wanted to be the one to give Harry his most powerful weapon.