Chereads / The Grind (And Helping Heather Potter) [Book 2] / Chapter 34 - 29: Black Spring Cleaning

Chapter 34 - 29: Black Spring Cleaning

"It was only a two-week break! And it's been nearly a month since then! How is it that all of you — not you, Granger — have forgotten the proper way to remove the spines of a Lionfish without poisoning yourselves?! I may as well have Madam Pomfrey take up permanent residence in my classroom! Don't feel bad for the damned fish! It's already dead!" Severus Snape ranted at his combined Gryffindor and Slytherin class.

I sat in one corner of the room, hiding a smirk. Potions class was much more entertaining when you weren't on the opposite end of Snape's ravings. It also helped that, as his peer now, I knew he wasn't trying to be mean. Severus was not the most socially adept man I've ever met. Honestly, I thought that fact — along with his undeniable bias — should have precluded him from teaching but there was no denying that he knew his subject.

It was a rare thing for him to allow me to assist with his classes but sometimes — particularly with this group of students — he felt an extra pair of eyes was necessary. Today was one of those times. The class had been going well until two separate students managed to stick themselves with the business end of a Lionfish spine, sending themselves straight to the Infirmary to see Madam Pomfrey.

That one of these students was Neville wasn't really a surprise. I liked the young Pure-Blood and thought he had much more potential than others saw in him, but Potions was not where that potential shined. Snape was of the opinion that he needed to keep pushing the Longbottom Heir and eventually, he would learn from his mistakes. 

I didn't share that opinion, knowing that Snape's looming and the pressure was half the reason Neville consistently failed. But this was still Snape's classroom and I hadn't been able to sway him to my way of thinking yet. Really, though, the fact that a Herbology prodigy like Neville would fail an entirely herb-based potion under Snape's watchful eye should have clued the professor in. I doubt any other student in the Castle knew the herb reaction table better than Neville and knowing the ingredients was half of potion-making.

"Severus?" I interrupted his rant to the relief of the entire class. "Perhaps we should continue with the lesson. I'm sure the students understand your frustrations and will strive to do better."

"Suurrrreeee, we will…" Heather muttered just loud enough to be audible.

Snape pinched the bridge of his nose, "Salazar, help me… Very well. Today, we will be brewing Calming Draught. I shall be sampling the best samples you manage to produce. Merlin knows I'll need it. Instructions are on the board. If you have any questions, ask my colleague. Not me."

I rolled my eyes. I understood Severus better now that I was his peer but that didn't mean I liked him any more than I did as his student. 'Instructions are on the board' always bugged me the most. Something that only got worse once I'd become a professor myself.

Ignoring my irritation, I stood and began walking the rows of tables, offering my help wherever it was needed. I might not be able to change Snape's teaching habits but I could try my best to compensate for them.

A novel thought struck me as I did. I had a startling number of connections to this group of students in particular. Heather and Hermione for obvious reasons. Lavender and Parvati for their constant campaign of teasing — tenuous as that connection may have been. Draco and Pansy as their Lord. And Daphne as her betrothed.

It was an interesting observation but nothing more. I was determined to keep it that way. I wouldn't show bias as obviously as Snape favored his Slytherins. The fact that I was connected to students on both sides of the House divide helped that determination.

Walking the aisles, I offered advice and guidance here and there. 'Instructions on the board' could only do so much. Sometimes the students needed more clarification and even the Slytherins weren't likely to ask for it from Snape.

Suddenly, I felt the magical artifact on my wrist buzz. I instantly began to look around for the cause of the reaction. I zeroed in on the source. Pansy Parkinson was bent over her cauldron, looking inside as the potion began to bubble menacingly. A moment of panic appeared in her eyes but I was already moving.

A second later, the cauldron erupted upwards like a geyser. I clutched Pansy to my chest with my back to the eruption. Thankfully, instead of spewing outward, something contained the stream of explosive potion in a vertical line until it evaporated into steam. The potioneering charms in the classroom did the rest of the work for my bracelet.

"Okay, Pansy?" I asked once the violent reaction calmed down.

"Y-Yeah…" She replied shakily.

The eruption attracted the attention it should have from the rest of the class and Snape was soon storming over to us with a demand for information on his lips.

"What just happened?!"

"An explosive reaction. I think that should be obvious," I replied flatly.

"Yes," Snape forced out through gritted teeth. "I must have misspoke. Why did it happen and why did the eruption happen like that?"

Pansy answered before I could continue snarking Snape, "I-It's my fault, Professor. I was clumsy and accidentally knocked a bit of Salamander Blood into my potion."

"Foolish girl," Snape spat. "Who knows who could have been hurt?! We should all be covered in boiling potion right now!"

"But we aren't," I pointed out in Pansy's defense.

"And I need to know why that is! And how you even reacted before me!"

I shrugged, holding up my arm to show the artifact hanging from my wrist, "Because of this. It warned me about a volatile potion and contained the inevitable reaction like it's supposed to."

Snape paled, his mouth suddenly going dry, "A-A Potioner's Bangle…? W-Where did you get that?"

"The Black Vaults. We found a bunch of useful stuff there."

After gaping at the artifact like it was his holy grail, Snape grew deathly serious, "How much?"

I blinked, "What?"

"I'll buy it from you. No, I must! Anything. I'll empty the school's Potions budget!"

"Well… it would be much more useful for your daily duties… I suppose I could be open to negotiation."

This was a pleasant development. Who knows what I could extort out of a Potions Master as payment? It seemed that the Black Vaults were bringing me an unexpected third windfall — after the gold and artifacts themselves…

IIIII

"What about this one?" Hermione asked, coming up to where I was sorting through items.

"A deck of cards? Seems surprisingly uneventful."

"According to Luna, they're Exploding Snap cards. Only the explosions have been dialed up to eleven."

"Oh, that's where those went!" Bella happily skipped over to us and took the cards from Hermione's hands. "Mother took them away from me after I accidentally blew up one of the House Elves with them."

Hermione gasped, "That's horrible!"

Bella shrugged, "It was just Kreacher. And he survived. Not like House Elves care about concussions."

"Put it in the useless but dangerous pile along with these glasses that let you see ghosts," I instructed, handing a pair of smoky glasses to Hermione as well.

Her curiosity got the better of her and she cocked her head, "How is the ability to see ghosts useless or dangerous?"

"We're Wizards, Hermione," I reminded her. "We can see ghosts anyway. And they don't let you do anything other than see them. All of them. At once. They're dangerous because they're overwhelming."

"Oh…" Hermione blushed. "Right. I forgot about that."

She went off to do as I'd instructed, sorting the two items into the correct pile. I went back to looking through the rest of the artifacts that crowded the Black Vaults. That was the entire reason we were here, after all.

I wouldn't know how immediately useful this trip would be until a week later when I exchanged the Potioner's Bangle for a brewing voucher from Severus Snape. I had plans of having him brew Felix Felicis (Liquid Luck) for the coven. That artifact alone doubled its value since no one in the coven was particularly invested in potion brewing.

And that wasn't even counting the countless other useful artifacts we were finding here in the vault. The Potioner's Bangle was only the tip of the iceberg. The Blacks were an old family and hoarding seemed to run in our blood. Generations of artifacts crowded shelves, trunks, and wardrobes, or were even scattered haphazardly across the floor.

This trip was brought about a couple of days after the Yule Break ended. I realized I didn't actually need a Curse-Breaker to go through the vault. Bella and I were both full-blooded Blacks and she'd grown up in the family. She knew most of the curses and where that failed, she knew what to be cautious of. The rest of the slack was picked up by Luna and her magic eyes.

So Bella and Luna were guaranteed to accompany me on this trip. Hermione made our group four, unable to keep herself from indulging her curiosity. None of the other girls wanted to come. Septima and Aurora had teaching duties to take care of and Heather was showing Gabrielle around Hogsmeade this weekend

I made sure to have us work in pairs as we sorted through the Black Vault. It was the only reasonable way we would make a dent in this mess.

Hermione was with Luna. And funnily enough, Luna was the one supervising this time in that dynamic. Her only job was to keep Hermione from hurting herself with cursed items and identify the magic she could see. Bella was working with me, using her familiarity with the family to identify curses and teach me what to look out for.

We were separating the artifacts into several distinct piles. Useless, useless but dangerous, useful, dangerous, and dangerous but potentially useful. 

It seemed that my System only felt like identifying items after I had some idea of what they did and held them for some time. By that point, the provided descriptions were only a little better than flavor text. They did make me question my own sanity multiple times though.

Some highlights of each category were as follows…

< Stone of Healing >

< A Dull Gray Stone. When Struck Against Something, It Heals Equal to the Damage Done >

< Throwing Brick of Returning >

< Like a Returning Throwing Dagger, But a Brick… >

< Quill of Lies >

< An Emerald-Feathered Quill. Anything Written by This Quill is Only Eligible to the Person(s) It is Addressed to. Anyone Else Trying to Read the Writing Will Read Only Lies. Also, May be Used as a Lie Detector >

< Hex Eater Blade >

< A One-Handed Sword with a Glowing Purple Jewel in its Crossguard. Eats All Magic with an Insatiable Appetite, Including the User's. Inert in its Sheathe >

< Book of Misspells >

< A Spellbook That Only Contains Wrong Spells. Some Spells Even Seem Randomly Generated. There's no Telling What Will Happen… >

The Hex Eater Blade wasn't actually the artifact I was most wary of. I'd unsheathed it a crack and the magical absorption effect was gradual. There was a definite drain but nothing that could be considered immediately fatal. I'm sure being stabbed by it would change that line of thought but I digress.

The artifact that freaked me out was the Book of Misspells. At least we knew what the Hex Eater Blade did. The spells in the Book of Misspells were entirely random. And with magic that was just about the last thing you wanted from a spell. Still, I couldn't deny that it might be useful in a fight. If you didn't know what the spell you were casting did, the enemy sure as hell didn't either…

And those artifacts were only the highlights of our haul so far, from silly as a brick to dangerous as a sword. There were more items placed all along that range.

A flute that was supposed to soothe Dragons. That would have been useful during the First Task… 

A ring with the Gemino Curse enchanted onto it. Duplication glitch get?

A wand with a pair of books strapped to it with metal wire like some sort of improvised club. "What a waste of good books. How barbaric…" Hermione muttered.

It was as Hermione was debating whether she should burn the abomination of an artifact or rescue the books that I noticed something. Luna seemed to be sorting certain things into a sixth pile. I only noticed as she tried to sneakily slide something on top, the item itself catching my eye.

"Luna, is that a gun?" I asked, baffled more than anything else. "Where did you even find one in here? And what's this pile for?"

"Oh, that old thing. Meh, too Muggle for my taste. It belonged to an old Black who was exiled to the Colonies and made a name for himself out west. I want to say, my Granduncle…? Anyway, he really took to the culture, if I remember right. Should be a black cowboy hat around here somewhere that belonged to him too," Bella said.

Luna perked up, "Really? That'd fit perfectly~!"

"Woah, woah," I held up my hands. "Slow down. Fit perfectly with what? And put the gun down, Luna. Finger off the trigger. Don't! Point it at anyone!"

As she did what I asked, I examined the pile she'd been putting together. It looked to be all the makings of an outfit of some kind. Dragonhide half-robes in black. A Dragonhide vest, also in black. A belt with way too many pouches and slots. A pair of slick gloves and boots. In fact, everything here seemed to be made of Dragonhide and was as black as the night.

Even the gun was black. Obviously, it wasn't made of Dragonhide. But the black iron of the barrel and chamber and the darkly stained wood of the handle gave it a very similar feel to the intimidating scaled clothing. It was a sleek revolver like something you would see in an old Western movie and it had likely been charmed extensively judging by the fact that it was still in pristine condition after sitting in the vault for years. I could feel it calling out to my magic, requesting to be used, to shoot, to duel.

I picked up the revolver, fiddling with it for a second until I figured out how to open the chamber. I didn't know much about firearms but making sure it was empty was just common sense. As was keeping my finger away from the trigger and making sure to point the business end away from anyone I didn't intend to shoot.

Seeing it empty, I turned the gun over in my hand, trying to figure out why it was calling out to my magic. There was a definite pull to duel. This artifact wanted nothing more than to be used for the purpose it was crafted for. And as a weapon — particularly one as personal and storied as this one —, that purpose was righteous combat.

My magic naturally seeped into the black iron, filling the revolver as if attuning it to me. As it did, I felt the parts that weren't visible on the outside. A wand core sat within the revolver's grip and I could feel negative space on the chamber and barrel in the shape of a Rune set.

The wand core was like nothing else I'd ever felt. It seemed to hop excitedly as my magic tapped it, full of an almost frantic energy. It felt rigid and hard, almost to the point of brittleness. It wasn't especially pure or fire-themed like Unicorn Hair or a Phoenix Feather. Nor was it flexible and powerful like Dragon Heartstring. If anything, it felt… skittish and unpredictably dangerous like a cornered prey animal.

< Black Steel Dueling Revolver >

< Once Belonged to Sergio Leone Black AKA 'Angel Eyes'. A Six-Chamber Revolver Crafted From Black Steel and Black Walnut Wood. Based on the Famous Colt Single Action Army, This Revolver Uses a Double-Action Trigger Instead of the Classic Single. Charmed For Easy Maintenance and Ease of Use. A Jackalope Antler Has Been Included in the Grip so This Weapon May be Used as a Magical Focus. Runes Within the Mechanisms Allow Each Shot to Change Damage Types, Regardless of the Ammunition Used. +10 to Attack, +5 to Dueling, +3 to Accuracy, +2 to Wanded Magic >

I turned back to Luna with a glare, "You still haven't told me what all of this is for, Missy!"

Luna smiled as if she'd done nothing wrong, "Why, your costume, of course!"

"Costume? What?"

"Oh, were you expecting spandex?"

"Luna…" I trailed off warningly.

"I know that's the traditional route but I don't think it would suit you, Atlas. Wizards aren't much for tight-fitting bodysuits. Though perhaps it would be nice to give people a better view of your bum… Hmmm…" Luna tapped her chin in thought.

I groaned, "Luna, is this about the supervillain stuff?"

Luna blinked, "Yes…? What else would it be about?"

"Anything else?" I practically pleaded. "I don't particularly want to be a supervillain."

"Oh, okay…" Luna seemingly accepted my protest. "You can be an anti-hero with villainous leanings then!"

I sighed, "That's the best I'm going to get, isn't it?"

Luna nodded, "Anything less and you won't have any real street cred."

"I don't really see what the problem is. From what Luna's shown me, these 'supervillains' seem like Dark Lords but better," Bella added her two cents.

"I think that's part of the problem," Hermione said, all too amused with this. "Atlas doesn't seem to want to give in to the dark side and become evil."

"Then that's not a problem at all. Not all supervillains or anti-heroes are evil!" Luna helpfully explained. "Some just know that they can't enact the change they want to see in the world by working within the bounds of the system."

"Ah, yes," Hermione nodded. "Like civil disobedience. Only not really civil. Certainly disobedient though."

"Is it really civil disobedience if you kidnap the Effiel Tower and hold it for ransom?"

"… No. At that point, you are just an actual supervillain. In fact, kidnapping a national monument could reasonably be considered terrorism."

"Drats," Luna tsked. "There goes Operation Crowdfunding…"

"And terrorism is bad and largely ineffective," I added just to be sure. "I'd rather just lead a whole revolution at that point. At least then we'd actually get something done and could start working directly on the changes that follow."

Luna and Hermione shared a look, "That's… good to know…"

Dread crept up my spine, "Why is that good to know?"

Luna quickly changed the subject, "Anyway~! You should try it all on!"

"We're still on this?" I knew it was futile but I tried anyway.

"Oh, just play along, Atlas," Hermione chided me. "Think of it as any other outfit. There's nothing particularly 'supervillainish' about it other than the color. And I happen to think you'll look quite dashing."

"Fine, I suppose you're right…"

"And don't forget the gun!" Luna called. "There should be a holster for it on the belt! I think the whole outfit was meant to go together."

"It was," Bella confirmed, having watched the whole interplay with an amused smirk on her face. "Angel Eyes was one Hell of a character. Even for a Black."

I didn't even bother trying to cover myself as I changed, simply getting on with it. The girls had already seen all of me. Though by the looks I was getting, they weren't going to get tired of the view any time soon. Ego sufficiently stroked, I dressed myself in the outfit Luna had laid out for me. The only part of my original outfit I kept was the plain white dress shirt I had been wearing, putting the vest on over it.

"Hmm…" Luna hummed consideringly, circling and examining me from every angle. "Something's missing…"

"Accio Angel Eyes' Hat," Bella cast, catching the hat as it came flying at her.

"I'm not wearing a cowboy hat, Luna," I deadpanned.

"How about a poncho?" Hermione suggested with a small smirk.

I turned my deadpan stare onto her but didn't say anything.

"You're right," She nodded as if I did reply. "A poncho doesn't really scream 'supervillain', does it?"

"Speak for yourself!" Luna called, already digging through a wardrobe in search of one.

"Still, we need something to add that final bit of flare…" Hermione took up Luna's job of examining me from every angle.

"Would some type of mask work?" Bella asked, obviously enjoying playing dress up with her baby boy too much.

"No, I don't think we want to hide his handsome image," Hermione dismissed Bella's suggestion. "It might send the wrong message or remind people of the Death Eaters too much."

She continued, "We want something simple but effective. A bit of color wouldn't be remiss either. Any luck, Luna?"

Luna returned to us sullenly, "No… I only found a serape, no poncho."

"And that wouldn't work?"

"It's not the same… And it's too bright. It'll just clash with the rest of the costume. The pattern was pretty though."

"So no progress?"

"Seems like it."

"Uh, isn't the half-robe overcoat doing the same job as a poncho anyway?" I asked.

Hermione blinked, looking at me again, "Huh, I guess it is. A full poncho would just cover all of the interesting intricate bits."

Luna had an idea, "Oh! Let's try this! Atlas, can you hold the coat open for me?"

I did as asked and Luna produced her wand. She tried hitting the inside of my new half-robe with a spell. A Color-changing Charm, if I identified it correctly. Nothing happened. She cocked her head to the side in confusion for a second.

"Right, Dragonhide…" She quickly realized where she went wrong.

"We'll have to take it to a professional if you want to change anything about the outfit," I said.

"Will we?" Hermione questioned, not waiting for an answer. "Dragonhide is resistant to magic but not to physical changes. Where is…? Ah, I'll just conjure some chalk."

She approached me with a piece of white chalk now in her hand. I stood still, giving her free reign to try whatever idea she had. She directed me to let the robe fall closed so that it lay flat on my chest and she could start to work.

The drawing didn't take long. It was literally just one stroke but I recognized the shape from Elder Futhark. Kenaz. Basically just a less-than-symbol. The traditional Rune for Torch. Other meanings included Inspiration, Energy, and Improvement.

Hermione wasn't finished there. The Rune wasn't anchored or powered and so she proceeded to do one of those things. It would have been nearly impossible to anchor the Rune on Dragonhide without more preparation but she could power the chalk itself.

The Kenaz Rune began to glow with the power of Hermione's magic. It flared and flickered like fire, like a Torch.

Hermione smirked at me smugly, "A Torch in the darkness. Be the change, the Inspiration, you want to see in the world."

I rolled my eyes goodnaturedly, "That's certainly one interpretation."

I looked around for a mirror to look at myself in. I almost summoned the first one I saw until I remembered why that one was in the 'useless but dangerous' category. It only showed your reflection in the ultraviolet spectrum. Oh, and it was haunted. With ultraviolet ghosts. Because why not…

In the end, I ended up just conjuring my own mirror. When I finally saw my reflection, I couldn't help but whistle quietly. Without the hat or poncho, my new outfit didn't actually look very cowboy-ish. It just looked like an old-fashioned suit, something that would blend in perfectly with the Wizarding world. Though the hat would certainly complete the outfit…

The black Dragonhide was intimidating and protective. And it wasn't even uncomfortable. It was obviously well-worn and I was thankful for the cleaning charms that had to be on it. I didn't want to consider wearing something that was caked with century-old dust from the American Old West.

< Black Rider Outfit >

< A Well-Worn Outfit Made of Hebridean Black Dragonhide. Comes as a Set Consisting of Vest, Overcoat, Pants, Boots, and Gloves. +2 to Body, +10 to Defense >

< Black Rider Hat >

< A Black Cowboy Hat. Keeps the sun out of your eyes and looks cool as sin doing so. C'mon, you know you want to~ >

I sighed, resigned to admitting-… "You were right, Luna."

"Oh? Thank you~!" There wasn't an ounce of smugness in Luna's voice.

The same could not be said for Hermione, "And what about me?"

"You were also right, Hermione. The Rune is a nice touch."

"Ooooooh~ yeah~ That's the stuff," Hermione shuddered in pleasure.

"We should get back to Spring cleaning though…" I said, shifting focus back to why we were here.

"You're not going to take off your costume, are you?" Luna pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

I easily caved, "I suppose I can break it in for a bit longer if it'll make you happy."

"And the hat? Just to try it on?"

"I suppose…" I sighed.

"Yay~! By the way, you should start again by looking in that trunk. There's only one thing inside and I think it'll be interesting," Luna hinted, her eyes seeming to glow slightly.

"O… kay…" I cautiously accepted her advice.

The trunk Luna pointed me to was relatively unremarkable. It was only about a quarter of the size of a normal trunk. A bit more than a hand's width wide and just a bit longer than my forearm. It was made of simple, plain wood and held shut by a small brass latch. I popped the latch.

"A grappling hook? Luna, why would I need a grappling hook when I can apparate?"

"Presentation~!"

IIIII

Four days before the Second Task, Heather and I were sitting in the Room of Requirement, putting the finishing touches on our plan.

"-And that should be everything in order," Heather said, barely containing her mischievous excitement. "Have you got the little thingies?"

"Little thingies? Really, Heather?" I raised an incredulous eyebrow at her.

"What?! You and Hermione were the ones who put them together. Did you even remember to name them?" Heather made excuses for her poor choice of words.

I pretended to sniff pompously, "Of course, we did. They're called 'Freezey-Thingy-inators'."

"And you still deny that you're a supervillain?" Heather deadpanned for a moment before breaking out into giggles.

I chuckled along with her, "No, actually I just call them Ice Balls."

"Like that's any better," Heather said, still giggling.

"Well… They're ball-shaped… And they make ice."

"Please tell me Hermione has a better name for them."

I winced, "F.I.R.E…"

"Fire…? That… seems unintuitive."

"No, not fire. F.I.R.E. Frankly Icy Reaction Extenders."

Heather paused until she realized I wasn't joking, "… She's pants at acronyms, isn't she?"

"Quite pants."

"But they do work, right?"

"As far as we can tell? A little bit too well."

"We're… We're not going to freeze the whole Black Lake into a block of solid ice, are we?" Heather asked warily.

"Goodness, no. Do you know how much water is in a lake? Even a relatively small one like the Black Lake? Plus, the Black Lake is deep. Like, it's unusually deep for a lake that's only a half-mile in diameter. That's also why it's able to support so much life. The Merpeople, Grindylows, Kelpies… Jimothy… The Black Lake is honestly a small marvel," I explained to reassure Heather's worries.

"Have we thought through all of the consequences of this plan?" Heather began to show uncharacteristic caution as I listed some of the magical inhabitants of the Black Lake. "The Black Lake doesn't usually freeze over. Won't this affect the creatures that live there?"

I nodded, "Undoubtedly. But I feel like we've done our due diligence. The creatures should all be able to handle the sudden change. They're magical, after all. It's not as if we're trapping a colony of seals or a pod of dolphins beneath the ice or something. Besides, Hermione and I have done our best to make sure that only the water at the surface will change its temperature. The vast majority of the water within the lake won't even feel the difference. Think of it like self-contained ice. Magic is a wonderful thing like that."

Heather chuckled nervously, "I don't usually put this much thought into my pranks. Without you two, I'm sure I would have messed this whole thing up something fierce."

"You probably would have been forced to compete and ended up using something silly like Gillyweed," I added my chuckles to hers.

"If even that! I would have been forced to conjure a snorkel!"

"The Girl-Who-Snorkeled?"

Heather snorted, hitting me on the shoulder lightly, "Shnrk~! Prat."

I pulled her into me to get back at her and we fell into a comfortable silence for a few moments before Heather asked, "So everything's ready?"

"Everything's ready," I confirmed. "We just need to get the Ice Balls from Hermione and we can start."

As one, Heather and I turned to the other side of the room. Our gazes found Hermione there. She was pacing madly and looked about ready to start tearing her hair out, completely absorbed by something other than our planned prank. A piece of parchment was held in her hand and she scribbled or crossed something out now and again as she paced.

We could barely hear her practically spitting mumbled words to herself, "-And, of course! The French have problems with the venue. Which goes against the Puffs' idea of coziness. And the Claws are against the Puffs bringing the refreshments. Something, something brownies… And the Gryffindors don't trust the Slytherins in general… And Seamus keeps trying to sneak underage drinking onto the docket. Because why not?! It's not like we're trying to be productive or anything! And the damn Russians keep trying to help him! At least they've promised to teach us how to make Molotov Cocktails…"

Heather tried to get her best friend's attention, "Uh… Hermione…? Hermione? Hermione!"

"What?!" Hermione snapped, suddenly looking over at us with crazy eyes.

"What are you even doing?" I asked curiously.

"What does it look like?" Hermione grumbled. "I'm organizing the first gathering of the youth rev-…"

"Yeah? The what?"

"… Interhouse study session."

She obviously wasn't telling the whole story but I nodded anyway, "That's very mature of you, Hermione. I'm proud that you're willing to rise above House rivalries. Think you can take a break to help us find the Ice Balls?"

Hermione huffed, "Don't call them that. F.I.R.E. I worked hard on that acronym. The least you could do is use it. But yes. I think a short break would do me some good."

"Don't try too hard to please everyone," I advised as Hermione dipped into the place we were stashing the Ice Balls and brought them over to us.

She stopped and gave me a look that was dripping with sarcasm, "Ah, of course. Why haven't I tried that before…"

I pretended not to notice her tone, "Sometimes the smartest among us forget our common sense and good reason."

She growled at me, blushing while she did, "Grrr… I don't need the backhanded compliment, Atlas."

I shrugged, "If you say so. I'll just have to give you a normal compliment then. You're one of the smartest women I know, Hermione. Whatever you're planning will turn out just fine."

Hermione averted her eyes, "Whatever… Just get out of here and do the thing with the thing."

"Look at that. You're finally picking up my speech patterns, Hermione~!" Heather teased.

Hermione's glare didn't have any heat to it (unlike her cheeks) as she shooed us out of the Room, "Oh, just get out of here already! And don't come back until it's done!"

"Yes, Mistress Granger," Heather and I called out in sync as Hermione shut the door in our faces.

We shared a grin as the final sliver of Hermione's blush disappeared behind the door. At least we'd succeeded in taking Hermione's mind off of her worries for a few moments. Then the doors were opened again a moment later and the Ice Balls were shoved into my arms.

"So… You wanna get your broom?" I asked.

 Heather grinned at me, "What, you don't want to risk our tattoos' flight Runes giving out over the lake?"

"Yep, not taking that chance over soon-to-be ice-cold water."

My deadpan tone was met with giggles, "Oh, alright, you big pansy~ You can ride with me. Just be sure to keep those hands to yourself, Teach~"

Soon enough, we were flying over the Black Lake under the cover of Heather's invisibility cloak, dropping Ice Balls at regular intervals. The cloak probably wasn't necessary but Heather insisted that it added to the pranking mood. By tomorrow morning, the Black Lake would be mostly covered in a foot of ice and the tournament's organizers would be freaking out as their plans for a dangerous hostage-taking Second Task were completely derailed…