'What is it about the moon that makes you want to look?' Adina mused. The fourth hour was approaching, but still she hadn't moved from the window. It's like her body is physically frozen, rooted to the spot.
She could do nothing else but look at the big glowing orb in the sky, fresh tears falling from her face to the couch. The world looked silver in this twilight hour--magical and ethereal--but she could only think about what she's missing out on.
It's true, she's always wanted to go to the capitol. Even now, it feels like a dream that she had walked in this palace's halls. But at the same time, everything feels wrong. Her friends. Her home. Everything she's ever known before. Gone in the blink of an eye because of one choice.
"What are your plans for me, goddess? Why did you bring me here?" She closed her eyes and whispered.
The goddess--the great mother--she who knows and sees everything. She was the one who created worlds, who breathes life, who takes control of people's destiny. It was a commonly held belief that she does everything for a reason. She gives lives for a reason. She takes lives for a reason. And she brings you where you need to be, when you need to be, to fulfill your purpose.
And yet, in this moment, Adina cannot help but to feel resentful. Is she supposed to believe that there really is a divine plan for her life? A noble reason for why she has to be here? Why, goddess, why?
She was already happy. Comfortable. Well, maybe she didn't have the best comforts, but she was surrounded with good people. She was satisfied with the work she did. She had a family. After so long of going without, she had a place and people to call home and now...goddess, she never even got to say goodbye.
She'd surely miss Alex's laugh, Dymitri's incessant questions that always end in no, and Ravi...oh Ravi. How could she forget that blazing hair and those enchanting hazel eyes? The calmness he brought with him.
Adina sighed. She only did what she did for Ravi. Because she couldn't bear the thought of losing him if he was caught and found guilty. She still doesn't believe he poisoned the magistrate, but the rest of the world believes what the/y want, wouldn't they? Better they persecute her than him, right?
Maybe that was the purpose? She chose to save Ravi and this is the price.
A surge of pain shot through her as she remembered that the boys had not been in the crowd. Maybe they took advantage of the commotion and fled. They couldn't risk being caught, after all. She was just lucky to have been spared because she was a poisoner, but they would have been killed without a second thought. It still stings, but she understands.
With great effort, she tore her gaze away from the moon and into the darkness of the room. She had just enough moonlight to see the canopy of her bed, the silk blankets and stacks of pillows inviting her to lay in them.
She planted her feet into the ground, but found that she couldn't move them. They were dead from being crossed on the couch, so she let it sit for a while, breathing through the tingling sensation. She wiggled her toes, then her feet, then her lower leg, until she could move her entire lower body without discomfort.
She made it to the bed, but just as she thinks she's falling asleep, the voice appeared in her head again.
"Adina! You better not be foraging inedibles again. You know it's almost dinner time, right?"
Adina shot up like she was struck by a lightning bolt. She could see no one in the room with her, but it sounded so clear. As if the woman is sitting right next to her ear.
"Who are you?" she mutters, and images started to fill her mind. A fireplace. A dome roof. A hut. Stew cooking in the fire. Flowers--dandylions by the window. Water floating in the air. Fire in someone's hands. A boy--no, two of them, their faces obscured. A woman.
A woman. Brown hair that reached her hips. Hazel eyes. Could the voice belong to her?
"Adina! Adina come here darling, please." The voice was as clear as crystal, melodic even. In this memory--if it could be called a memory--she could only see the woman's apron, but Adina was sure the voice belonged to her.
She then hears a second voice. Her voice, but more high-pitched. Younger.
"Look, I found more mushrooms!" The voice sounded giddy with excitement. "Can we put them in the stew, please?"
"No, dear, but we can roast them for you. You know the rest of us can't eat that right?"
Red mushrooms came into view, and Adina gasped. Poison mushrooms? That can't be right. The first time Adina found out that she could consume poison was at thirteen. She had been starving, her stomach growling for days when she found the berries. She did not know what kind they were, and she did not care. All she knew is that she had to eat.
But then the owner of the land the berries were on found her and slapped the berries right out of her hands. He forced her to drink a glass of milk and even attempted to make her throw them up. Adina wisely fled before he could call any backup.
Since the,n she had been observing, learning of the different things other people can't eat that she can. She knew her ability but knew not to tell. For the voice--the woman's voice--told her not to.
"Never reveal this to anyone," the voice had said then.
As the vision or memory vanished, her mind only came up with more questions. She is particularly fixated on this memory of poison mushrooms. Had she known she was a poisoner when she was a child? Who was the woman and why was she helping her? Could it be her mother? But then how did she forget? Why is so much of her past just blank? Are these really memories or just hallucinations?
Adina laid there, feeling lost, staring at the curtains for only goddess knows how long. By the time her heavy eyes finally close, the sun is shining on the horizon.