Han Yan walked home step by step.
Closing the door, his eyes were empty. He leaned against the door and slid down weakly. The rainwater on his clothes left a trail on the door.
Han Yan had guessed that Lu Yunran would be very angry, but he did not expect her to be so unyielding.
Han Yan remembered a sentence he had read on the Internet before: "A man's biggest failure is to teach his woman how to be strong." Han Yan had once vowed to Lu Yunran that he would never let her face the thunder and lightning alone. But now, Lu Yunran rushed into the storm without looking back. She was unwilling to stay by his side for a second longer. Was this his biggest failure?
He took out his phone from his trouser pocket. The screen was still lit up. It seemed that Apple's waterproof phone was quite good. Han Yan pressed the familiar eleven numbers, and the operator's ringtone sounded from the phone.
"Answer the phone …" Han Yan said in his heart.
"Beep … Sorry, the number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable …" Did he dial the number?
He dialed again.
"Sorry, the number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable …"
He dialed again.
"The number you have dialed is currently unavailable …"
Her phone was turned off! Han Yan listened numbly to the repeated Chinese and English messages on the phone. Lu Yunran's phone was turned off. His hands gradually dropped to his sides.
What was going on? Han Yan's mind was in a mess. He had never been so confused before. He hugged his head and bent between his knees. He just sat there in a daze. The water dripping from his hair, clothes, and body gradually gathered into a small puddle.
After an unknown amount of time, a burst of crying entered Han Yan's ears. At this time, Han Yan's soul was already reluctant to part, but Qiqi's cries caused his three spiritual and seven physical souls to gather again.
After a moment of confusion, Han Yan stood up. Perhaps it was because he had bent his legs for too long, but when he stood up, he felt that his lower body was numb. Han Yan stumbled into the bedroom. Just as he was about to pick up the crying Qiqi, Han Yan realized that his whole body was wet. He hurriedly ran to the toilet and pulled off the straps and clothes that were soaked in rainwater. He took a clean towel to dry his body and changed into dry clothes before returning to the bedroom.
At this time, Qiqi had been crying for several minutes. Han Yan felt ashamed. He picked up Qiqi and comforted her. Returning to her father's embrace and feeling her father's familiar heartbeat, Qiqi's crying gradually stopped. Han Yan kissed Qiqi's tender face that had not yet dried tears, and said with some heartache, "Qiqi, don't you think that your father is a bastard? Today, I made two girls cry."
Qiqi moved a little, and Han Yan felt that something was wrong. A warm current seemed to flow over his body.
"Oh no!" Han Yan remembered that after returning from the hospital, he did not have time to change Qiqi's diaper! The previous diaper was thrown into the trash bin by Han Yan because Qiqi suddenly pooped at the hospital. He wanted to change it for Qiqi when he returned home, but after what happened just now, he forgot about it!
Han Yan did not know whether to laugh or cry. He gently hooked Qiqi's little nose with his left index finger and said to her, "Qiqi, daddy tried so hard, but in the end, you still peed on daddy!"
Ever since he learned how to take care of Qiqi from the nurses in the hospital, Han Yan had been paying attention to changing her diaper, but he still fell for it. However, it was said that a father who did not let his baby pee on him was not a qualified father. Han Yan had now completed a milestone in becoming a qualified father!
However, the new clothes that he had just changed into were ruined. After solving her personal problem, Qiqi became very happy. She was held in her father's arms, and her toothless mouth was wide open.
"No teeth! Qiqi is ugly!" After Han Yan finished the appraisal, he hooked her little nose again, causing Qiqi to wrinkle her nose. She also raised her hand, but she could not reach her father's chin no matter how hard she tried.
After Qiqi's antics, Han Yan's mood eased a little. He arranged for the new clothes to be changed, and then prepared hot water for Qiqi to take a bath.
Although he was a little tired, Han Yan was still very alert for Qiqi's sake. He carefully took care of every detail, and there was no situation where he accidentally raised the temperature of the hot water too high.
After serving Qiqi's bath, milk, and sleep, Han Yan also cleaned himself up.
After washing the clothes and coming out of the toilet, Han Yan looked at the sky outside. The rain had stopped, but the sky was dark. Night had fallen in the city.
Han Yan turned on his phone and called Lu Yunran again, but her phone was still turned off. Han Yan's heart ached again. He wrote a text message and edited it many times. In the end, there were only two short lines left. "Are you back in Buddha City? Drink some ginger soup. Don't catch a cold. I'm sorry."
Putting down the phone, Han Yan took a deep breath and didn't let his tears fall. There was a saying, "A real man bleeds but not tears." These days, Han Yan had shed more tears for Qiqi and his girlfriend than he had since he was in junior high school.
However, isn't there another old saying that goes like this? "A real man doesn't cry easily. It's only because he hasn't been deeply hurt." Han Yan's tears overflowed because he was really afraid. He was worried that his girlfriend of four years would leave him. This relationship was too precious and too heavy for him!
At this time, Han Yan heard a roaring sound from his stomach. He suddenly realized that he hadn't eaten for a day!
But at this time, he wasn't in the mood to cook. He just cooked a small pot of noodles with vegetables and ate it simply with soy sauce. He was in a bad mood. Everything tasted like wax. Han Yan forced himself to swallow it as a way to appease his hunger.
After eating and washing the dishes, Han Yan picked up his phone again and looked at it. He was disappointed to see that there was no reply. He called again, but the cold sound of the phone being turned off was still the same.
Han Yan, who was in a bad mood, picked up the book, but found that his mind was full of Lu Yunran's tear-filled and determined look today. He couldn't read a single word.
Closing her eyes, she saw Lu Yunran rushing into the rain again, her back gradually disappearing. Everything was so vivid when she opened and closed her eyes. Han Yan had nowhere to escape, and nowhere to vent. She could only call her phone again and again, and then put it down again and again in disappointment.
Han Yan sat in a daze for an hour and called for an hour. Finally, the phone ran out of battery and the screen turned completely black.
"Alas …" Han Yan sighed deeply and got up to plug in the charger.
Since he was upset and angry, he might as well practice boxing. Han Yan took a deep breath and stood still in the empty space of the living room, silently reciting the heart sutras.
"Tai Chi is born of infinity. It is the mother of Yin and Yang. When it moves, it separates; when it is still, it combines … "
A Yin-Yang Fish Talisman floated in his heart. One Yin and one Yang, Yang fish eyes Yin, Yin fish eyes Yang, slowly and endlessly circulating. Han Yan's mood seemed to be absorbed or smoothed out by the Yin-Yang Fish Talisman.
He recited the heart sutras in his heart, and the strength in his meridians followed the guidance of his mind.
"Bang!" Under Han Yan's mind, his right hand slowly moved from the bottom to the top. The strength was perfectly round, and the palm momentum seemed to be unchanged. At any time, he could turn it into a fist, finger, or other moves. When he reached, his shoulders sank, his arms were like an arc, his legs bent, and his waist relaxed. The movements were slow but implied strength.
Under the concentration, Han Yan was temporarily immersed in boxing.
This time, the speed of his boxing practice was not as slow as in the early morning. Although there were some beads of sweat on his forehead, it was not to the extent that his head was steaming and his whole body was soaked.
Perhaps it was because he had not rested well for the whole day, after Han Yan finished practicing thirteen moves, he also felt tired and exhausted.
He wiped the sweat on his forehead and picked up the phone. The beauty on the other side of the phone was still as quiet as a yellow crane. Han Yan's expression was gloomy. Perhaps if Qiqi did not need him to take care of her, he would have run out to the bar to get drunk! Although alcohol could not extinguish the gloominess in his heart, it could make him lose consciousness at the most painful time. Under the chaos, he did not need to be trapped by love anymore!
Han Yan did not know what he could say to Lu Yunran after the phone call. He could not say something as shameless as giving up Qiqi and returning to the original state. But other than that, what else could he say to make Lu Yunran forgive him? Han Yan really could not think of a solution that would satisfy both sides.
After deleting and changing the text again, only two sentences were left in the text: "Good night, sorry."
Han Yan could not withstand the exhaustion and fell into a deep sleep.
The rain in Buddha City had stopped, but the rain in Yang Cheng was still falling non-stop.
In an apartment in the city center, Lu Yunran leaned against the wall in her pajamas and sat by the floor-to-ceiling window. Her eyes were bright red.
In the afternoon, she had received a lot of strange looks from the gangsters all the way back to her room in Buddha City. Since then, Lu Yunran, who had not eaten for the whole day, had been sitting by the window until now.
Through the window that was drenched by the rain, she looked at the gradually brightening lights outside. Although she had changed out of her wet clothes and the room was warm, Lu Yunran felt that the city she had worked so hard in for a year was cold and unfamiliar. It was just like the city she had studied and lived in for four years. It was huge, but she could not find a place to belong.
She did not turn on her phone and did not know what to say to Han Yan. But when she thought of Han Yan, she felt her heart ache. Her mind was filled with the first few years when Han Yan bought her a birthday present, walked with her on the streets, got jealous because of her. Those silly looks on his face. But now, why did Han Yan seem so unfamiliar? She seemed to want to catch the silly but cute Han Yan in her memory. Han Yan used to call her "Auntie" and she called him "Yan'er". Although he was right in front of her eyes, close at hand, she could not catch him. He floated away in an instant.
Lu Yunran understood that Han Yan did not change much. It was just that the distance between them, because of a girl and a baby, suddenly became so far away. Both of them desperately stretched their hands forward, but they could not touch each other no matter what!
She turned on her phone and saw a lot of missed calls. She also saw the two messages from Han Yan that showed his struggle. She did not reply. She turned on the music player. Milk Tea Liu Ruoyin's sincere and clear voice floated out from the speaker at the back of the phone.
"If I retreat to the position of a good friend, you will no longer need me.
You won't need it anymore, and you'll be in such a difficult position.
I love you so much, so I am willing to give in to you.
Fly to a happier place … "
Lu Yunran's tears poured down again. Her heart felt like it was being cut by a knife, but her thoughts were clearer than ever.
"It is not easy for two people on Earth to meet.
Even if I cannot be your lover, I am still grateful.
I love you so much, so I am willing to not tie you down.
Fly to a happier place … "
The voice was faint, and the heart of the beauty leaning against the window seemed to have drifted away …