Spiderman Prime by Sorcerer Prime
Chapter 10. Demon Hunt
(Sorcerer Supreme's POV)
There is this one time that Spiderman wanted to speak to a spider: a real spider.
I don't know what existential crisis he was going through, but I was too tired to wonder after a hard day's work of protecting the world against mystical threats, you know - basic sorcerer supreme stuff.
Well, I ended up granting Spiderman's wish by performing a basic translation spell. And both spiders had a happy, super weird chat about spider webs, and what not.
Anyway, that Spiderman story is irrelevant to all of this.
I surely hope that it is irrelevant to all that's currently going on in my weird world (not the actual dimension).
"It's gotta be irrelevant, right Wong?" I accidentally spoke my thoughts to my best friend in the world of the living.
"Whatever you are thinking Strange, I hope it's related to stopping this insurgence." Wong said as he demon-punched a creature from the underworld, immediately exorcising it. "And by that I mean, it should be RELEVANT."
"What's the name of that martial arts style again?" I was sure he had told me so many times, but it somehow always eluded my memory.
"Fangxiangshi." Wong replied calmly as he made a three sixty degree turn and exorcised another hell creature. "I have a whole book written down, for you to read."
I always admired Wong's patience with me, and how loyal of a friend he always was. If it were me, I'd already have the name and details etched in your memory using some forbidden spell I didn't think twice about.
That's just how much I didn't like repeating myself.
"Tell me again why I need to know it when I can Flames-of-the-Faltine these creatures back to where they came from." I asked while knowing the obvious answer he would give me.
But first, you need to know that I was literally Flames-of-the-Faltining several creatures back to hell, and it was cool as h-... well. As for their description, I'll save you the trouble of nightmares.
Just imagine an extremely slimy slug crawling on your face, and you'll thank me for keeping your safe from your own imagination. That's part of my job as the Sorcerer Supreme.
Anyway, back to Wong. I didn't need the Eye of Agamotto to know that Wong was going to tell me that it would help learning to exorcise demons without the need for magic, and thus, reduce the consequence tab.
He'd also point out that magic, much like luck, had a habit for disappearing when you needed it the most, and the thought of the Empirikul coming back again would proceed to make me shudder.
"Still no prognosis as to which hell dimension these creatures are coming from, and what they want?" Another thing about Wong, he was always good at proving me wrong.
"More specifically, why are they in Queens of all the god-forsaken places in New York?" The Village is where they were used to causing mayhem in such great numbers.
But I wasn't really surprised.
I was just curious.
There are other places on Earth worse than Greenwich Village. Ever been to Japan?
"Maybe if you stop beating the hell INTO my subjects, they'll get around to telling you." To most men, just hearing the female voice that spoke to me would have them blowing their brains out for her. And I don't mean that as a joke - she was that dangerous.
However, I always had one, or a dozen, protection spells up to protect me from her pheromones, or anyone else's.
Through another random hell portal, The princess of hell had popped into to the material world with some more henchmen to protect her.
All the ones that had already been to the surface, retreated to surround her, thus offering her more protection. And within seconds, an army of henchmen of all sizes and shapes was behind her.
"I would have never guessed in a million years. This doesn't look like your style, Satana." I addressed the princess by her given name. "What's got you so worked up now?"
"Don't tell me my Yelp review damaged your joint's reputation so much that you need more celebrities from Earth to-" I was about to finish recounting our 'lovely' adventures, when she cut me short.
"Always with the pointless banter, Doctor Strange. But I'm in no mood for foreplay today." Satana's expression looked tougher than usual, and her tone was laced with serious determination. Both were signs that whatever she was after would cause a great deal of damage to the world.
"That's an odd thing for a succubus to say," I just had to point that out. "But if you mean it and we really don't have to fight, you may go back to hell peacefully and save me the trouble."
"Here's a counteroffer. A genuine one this time," Hearing Satana say those statements spooked my Sorcerer Supreme senses. I didn't think I was going to love knowing what exactly was going on.
"You let my subjects pass quietly as they were doing. They'll do it hidden from these worthless creatures that you've vowed to protect, just like had, all along." Satana said. "And I promise you, no one is going to get hurt by the time they crawl back to the underworld."
"The Sorcerer Supreme does not make deals with your kind," I hated it when I had to contradict Wong during a high-stakes conversation. I mean, he was just looking out for my principles when he said that boldly.
"And what are you looking for exactly?" I wasn't buying into her proposition, but I just had to ask.
"Strange?" That was Wong's way of asking if I was really considering her deal.
"Of course not." Even I wasn't convinced by how I replied to Wong.
"What we are looking for is none of your business." Satana's reply was very obvious.
"You know how deals work, right? Both parties have to be equally transparent." At this point, I was just pulling her nose. But I was dreadfully curious to know what she was so eager to find. "Exploitation comes later."
After a brief silence, Satana's determined face finally made a smile.
"If you really must know, we can have a nice, cozy chat about it in the heat of my restaurant." She now sounded more like her usual self. Sharp, and ever-relaxed. "Maybe I'll get around to talking you up about that review? I know you miss my bacon too."
(Get your mind out of the gutter [smirk].)
"In the meantime?" I honestly had to consider her suggestion. Information is power, and it would be dreadful to have it too late.
"My subjects move around quietly for an hour." Satana proposed, and I quieted to ponder.
There was something moving around on Earth interesting enough to capture the Devil's princess' attention, and I hadn't felt it. What was going on?
"Wong.." What I was about to say to my closest friend was dreadful, and a delicate matter. But I had to know what was going on, before Hades decided to go on vacation on planet Earth. I had to be prepared.
"Why do I even bother?" I could feel the sigh in Wong's soul, but I knew he would still have my back.
"Thank you." I appreciated Wong.
"You and your demons have less than an hour," I said firmly, reinforcing my words with a stern expression. "Beyond that, I'll do more than banish them to hell."
I knew I was crossing dangerous waters, but the devil you know is always better than the one you don't. Wait..,I could swear I had some civilian yell that line somewhere... Why am I having flashbacks about someone's infested plumbing?
"You're included in that too." I locked eyes with the Satana's.
"Feisty,"Satana sounded charmed. "I always knew it was a good business decision to reserve a booth for the Sorcerer Supreme in my restaurant."
"The clock's already ticking," The kind of deal we had made was always bound to be broken at some point, but at least either one party would end up benefiting in the end. I just had to make sure it would be me, as it always was.
I know you are judging me but, seeing a succubus this much determined means that worse things than her are coming. Trouble always comes in twos, and I need an information if I'm to protect you and your kin from some sort of Hell Invasion.
So, keep your judgments to yourself, and let me do what I do best.
---
"One extra-large demon breath Bacon for the Sorcerer Supreme. Make it quick, boys!" Satana wasted no time in placing an order as soon as we set foot in her nauseating, demon-infested hell restaurant. I had almost forgotten how terrible the atmosphere was.
"And if we're out of bacon, you know wha--" I knew she was about to suggest that they force some demon customer to vomit the last bit so I could have some bacon, so I interrupted her before she could paint the full picture.
"Time moves differently here. And you don't really have as much of it as you think," I said.
"Oh, you cunning--"
"And before you make empty threats, we have a deal, and you know you don't want to break it," I added. "What does demon-kind want in my world?"
"The Devil taught me to always avoid the smart types. I should have paid attention," Satana said.
"I'm not here to talk about your father, Satana," I clarified. "Don't waste both our times. What are you hunting?"
"A meal," she replied.
"Demons always hunt for gullible human souls. It's something different this time. What is it?" My patience with her was wearing thin.
"A spider."
Was she just pressing my buttons intentionally?!
"Since when do demons care about spi--" The urgency in my voice quickly dissipated into the livid atmosphere.
"That expression always gets me," Satana reveled as I digested the information. "I honestly thought I had an hour to enjoy it, but you managed to trick me."
"What kind of spider?" I knew the answer, but I had to hear it from her.
"I think you know this one, Doctor: Magic has consequences," Satana's voice dripped with the succulency of a Devil Fruit.
"But if you must insist," Satana taunted, "it's a Magic Spider."
Yeah, all that talk about Spiderman talking to a spider... it wasn't just talk.
It's been a puzzling dream that's been making me wish for nightmares.
And honestly, the world always hates it when the Sorcerer Supreme's dreams become reality.
~Prime
If I could remember, I'd attach that spider-web conversation. It was stupidly funny.
Chapter 11: Hydro Man is Available for everyone in Patreon.com/sorcererprime