A J E N T A
Another insignificant boring day. It enervates me; like an ice melted on a hot temperature. Same old day. Tomorrow rose up again and I'm still in my hell hole bedroom. I sighed heavily, tasting bitterness in my mouth. Putting a cross on the calendar waiting for nothing. I knocked my head on it and hurt myself on the wall.
It was getting out off hand and now look, spending time alone with myself is good, but not for my whole life i'll go insane. Talking to walls and for what ngaga ulit. I wanna go home so bad!
This is not a wish come true, why? staying in america together with person that I called fake mom. Vanessa Claire Smith. She's nothing but a busy woman. I don't know why but I can't feel the love of a mother from her. She's cold like an ice and she's beyond secretive and misterious. I think she's that kind of person that can live alone in the dark. I don't know if she's even my real mother. Tanging si mama yaya kase ang tumayong ina sakin.
I even tried to escape but I can't. I've been locked up in an invisible cell. May mga body guard na nakamasid sakin maging saan nandun sila. I can't move it's annoying and I feel like chocking and been on a tight space at the same time.
Kahit kumakain ako andun sila nakabuntot sakin.Wala akong magawa kundi magsimangot nalang in my entire life. And I don't wanna die like this. I remember that night I was on a bar but I didn't go there to drunk but to escape my lonely room.
I was about to take a sip and I accidentally drop my purse. And a gentleman picked it up for me as I was about to take it. I was all ashamed The guards knocked him to the floor. Those idiots jump on him like a crazy madman! Because of that, everybody gave me that bitch look. I almost became a laughing stock.
I made a friend but I don't stick with them. I hate plastik. Kahit saan naman andyan ang mga hayupak nayan. Sarap ngang murahin e.
They hates me and not just because of being weird but my bodyguard is literally watching me. They're everywhere. And this made everyone distance themselves from me. Mas minabuti kong mapag-isa sa kwarto at nakatingin sa bintana. Pabalik-balik lang ang ginagawa ko. Its so boring. Ugh
Halos tutok na tutok na ako sa studies ko ngayon di tulad noon. Walang pake isang notebook lang ang dala ko. Pero ngayon?! I think my brain cell exploded. Sometimes gusto ko naring magquit pero wala naman akong kinabukasan pagtalikuran ko ang studies ko.
Darn it!
A year seems like its a hundred years curse. Nag iisa parin ako gaya ng dati. Reality sucks! I'm talking to myself like an idiot. Anorexia. Parang mas lalo kong nafefeel ko na nasa selda. Mas mabuti pang nasa kulungan ako atleast alam ko hindi yung ganito.
I rather stayed in haeannon. There I can feel the presence of freedom even my life is at stake. I'm an ohtar, A warrior who sacrifice everything for peace and harmony. But here I'm wasting my time for only doing eating and sleep for my entire life.
Daming maid na inaatupag ang lahat ng gawain sa mansion di rin ako pinapayagang maglinis o kahit anuman lang na makatulong. Take note kahit bed ko di ako pinapalinis.
They treat me like a helpless diaper baby. I hate it!
Someone knocked on the door but I didn't get up, Indolent side of me taken over. "Madam ajenta your mother is here"
Ugh. Ano bang gusto nya buti napaisip nya na may bahay pa pala sya. Di kase sya umuuwi lagi syang babad sa hayupak na paghahandle ng business sa company. Money is more important to her rather than treating me as her own priority. Ugh! With this situation we're both irreconcilable.
So jealous of other girl ket mahirap masaya sila pero this life of mine? This isn't what I wish for. Parang nabuhay na ako sa impyerno kahit buhay pa ako
"Tell her i'm not here and would you mind stop calling me madam! I'm sick of hearing it please just leave me alone" The maid keeps knocking its bugging me. Aba't ang kulit nito! "I need some space, please would you mind not to disturbed me"-dugtong ko at umalis na sya. Mabuti nga. Pheew!
Humiga ako sa bed while looking at the ceiling at ibinaon ko sa unan ang mukha ko. Thinking about the good old days. Walang oras na di ko sila iniisip. Nakakamiss ang bawat paglalakbay namin na sasama sama kaming lahat na walang iwanan. Friendship is really is a treasure.
People thinks that i'm weird. Kase bigla lang ako tumatawa mag isa. Tumatawa ako bigla dahil naalala ko yung mga kalokohan namin. Gusto ko nang bumalik dun alam kong naghihintay parin sila sakin at nagpromise pa ako na babalik lang ako pero hindi.
Uneasy and regret makes me wear out. I'm worried and hopefully they're safe out there, that place is dangerous. I miss them so much even that good for nothing batman my orangutan. Mas lalo akong nakalayo at di na nakabalik. Ano na kaya ang ginagawa nila ngayon? Okay lang kaya sila? May nagpakita na naman bang kalaban hopely they're safe. Yan lang ang laging bulong ko sa hangin. I am worried. Sobra...
Alam kong hindi na sila mapakaling makita ako muli. Pati si Eldhen yano.
May nagknock ulit and this time hindi na yung maid kanina. Ang katok na to para bang hahamunin ako sa laban. Pinalakasan ko ang grunt ko para ipaalam ko na wala ako sa mood.
"Ajenta! Open this door! "-she's bang the door and trying to break in. Like a criminal whose about to broke into the house.
I grunt and almost cried halo halo ang emosyon ko ngayon "Go away! For god sake what's your problem?!"
Patas lang kame dahil hindi nya ako tinatawag na anak "I don't wanna go and you can't make me"-sabi ko na tinatamad ang tono ng boses.
"Ajenta you said that countless times. Don't disobey me! Don't make me mad young lady or else..."-napakarude ko dahil hindi ko sya pinagbubuksan ng pinto.
"Or else what? Forcing me to go with you? Sorry I don't mingle with rich psychopath people. And can you please stop forcing me to accept you, forgive you after what you did to me so leave me alone!"
I'm almost 17 years old now. Still have the hatred that buried in my heart and crashing my entire soul. Still couldnt forgive for the burden I forbear since i was a child. I hate her and I would never gave a damn amnesty. It couldnt heal a pain anymore. She can't just do that sorry will cause nothing. Alam kong malaking kalasanan ang pagbabastos ko sa kanya pero masakit din para sakin.
"Ajenta napakastubborn mo talaga! Ano kaba pagdika lalabas dyan then i'm gonna have to force you!"
Nakawrinkled parin ang lower lip ko mula pa nung nasa pinasuot nila ako ng dress. Takot na nga ang iba na umupo sa tabi ko dahil sinasalubong ko sila ng kunot noo. "Ajenta. Don't give me that shit! Kahit ngayon lang ibahin mo ang ugali mo! Your embarassing me in front of my guess!!"
"Nahiya ka sakin? Then why are you stupid enough to bring me here in america "
"Ajenta don't make me...!"
"Ipauwi mo na ako sa pilipinas. Dahil dun ako titino. Uuwi na ako "-sabi ko and I left after that. I go back and put all my stuff in the bag.
"Ang bastos mong bata ka wala kang utang na loob at walang hiya bat Ikaw pa Ang naging anak ko sa Dami Dami ng pwedeng iluwal bat Ikaw pa--"
I smirked on her even my heart torn to pieces. Sinisisi niya pa ako bakit ginusto ko ba? Umalis na ako sa harap niya at nasa labas Ang apat na iyon na nagbabantay sa kotse. I sneak out and grab up my stuff and i almost slip when I forgot about those four. Nasa loob yung apat na guard ko na titig na titig sakin. Dinilatan ko sila aba't san kayo nakatingin "Anong tingin tingin nyo?!"
"Nothing "-sabay silang nagsilabasan nasa labas sila ng car. Hinalungkat ko ang bag ko na may lamang dalawang jacket at bilis kong sinuot ito. "San kayo pupunta ma'am?"
"Just getting some fresh air"
I tore up my dress, above the knees. Gusto kong makawala sa mga to. Inopen ko ang window at naghanap ng kaunting distraction. I know its not a good idea, pero I think magwowork naman ito.
"Ah boys can you move away gusto kong magchange ng clothes"-sabi ko at tumango sila.
Ayan dali nyo naman pakiusapan. Lumabas silang apat na nakatalikod and I grabbed my money ket diko madala ang gamit ko may pangbili naman ako. I slowy open the door at nakacrawl palabas mas binilisan ko. Mahirap namang tatakas na walang pera. Nang makalayo layo na ako agad na akong tumakbo ng malakas iniisip ko yung parang hinabol ako ng aso.
"FREEDOM!!!!!!"-sigaw ko na parang ibon na nakalaya sa cage
➖➖➖
Its good enough for about 8 minutes.
Yup. you know what I mean
Nakacross arm lang ako I thought makakatakas ako pero bilis nila akong mahuli matangkad nga ako pero kapag mahuli nila ako para lang akong maliit na bata. Sabagay dalawang paa versus sa walong paa. Talo parin. Kumakain ako ng bubble gum at blinow ko ito. Ano pa kaya ang palusot ko. I need an escape plan B.
"I need to pee"-i stomp many times to hold it.
"Madam don't even think about it baka tatakas ka na naman"-paghahamon sakin ng isang guard na parang pagwrestling as laki ng katawan. Aggresive e
"We won't fall for that again"
Grrr "Sige iihi ako dito then kayo ang maglilinis ganon? And can you please stop calling me madam!!! Kase natitriggered ako at nagmumukha akong lunatic stop calling me that ever again! or its gonna hunt me in my nightmares "-sabi ko kulang nalang iiyak na kaluluwa ko. Nagtinginan silang apat at tumingin ulit sakin
"As you wish M-madam?!"-bumungisngis sila para asarin ako.
Parang wala man silang narinig sa sinabi ko. Okay mabuhay ang mga bingi! "Seryoso? Kayong apat sasama sakin sa CR? ano yun paunahan kung sinong sumilip sakin ganun?"-Sinamaan nila ako ng tingin at lumabas na ako ng car. Nakaantay sila sa labas ng door.
Its a lie na iihi ako may open na bintana at umakyat ako para makatakas. Duh! even birds leaves it nest.
"Miss what are you doing?"-napalingon ako sa baba may tao palang nakatinghala sakin tumatae ata. I hussed her because she was freaked out
"A--amph... escaping?? Ah wait. When you leave tell them I have a very serious stomach ache and tell them the toilet almost explode when I farted"-tumango sya sa sinabi ko. Medyo kadiri pero goods naman.
Buti naman nakisakay sakin yung babae. Salamat din. Lumabas na ako at nagcrawl sa mga bushes. I just walk alone na chill na chill ang itsura wala na kaseng ungas na hahabol pa sakin. Ayoko sa mga guard nayun. Nakaratung nadin ako sa mall. SAWAKAS problem solve at makakain na ako ng matiwasay na wala nang distorbo. Bilis ko narin nagorder dahil galit na ang tyan ko.
"Hi miss what's up"-pagbati sakin ng di ko kilalang rakista at kiniss Ang kamay ko. Puno siya ng tatoo sa katawan. Ang buhok nya parang mop na di nalabhan at pinatuyo lang sa araw.
"Really nigga?"
Yan agad ang napansin ko sa kanya bago ang face nya. Parang adik. I look at him at kinindatan nya ako.YAK! Nakita ko ang mata nyang direktang nakatutok sa king dibdib at tiningnan ko naman. Shit!
"Hey!"-sigaw ko at inalis nya agad ang tingin. Ginamit ko ang kamay ko sa pagtakip ng aking dibdib. Bastos ng lalakeng to!
May kasama pa syang mga kaibigan nyang tulad nyang loko loko "Hey girl wanna joined us tonight. Nice body you got there"
"One word for you again and you'll be sorry!"-babala ko at itinaas nya ang kanyang kamay like a sign of surrender with a smirk on his face. I bitterly raised my eyebrows showing him that I'm serious and made him quiver in fear
"Sorry just trying to be a friend"
"Sorry I don't need one"- I said. I really dont care. Umalis na silang tatlo at unupo na ako sakto namang dumating ang inorder kong pagkain. Darn it nawala tuloy ang gana kong kumain.
"Hi miss badass filipina girl. Gerald Navarro nga pala"-nilahad nya ang kamay nya para makikamay sakin. Kababayan rin pala to parang sakin.
Galing makaenglish kung nagtagalog nalang kaya sya no. His a stupid boy from the other class lakas nyang makaslang. May pagkagoodboy sya minsan kaya kinuha ko ang kamay nya. At nakishake narin. Kababayan ko e.
"Hello"-i greeted back with no emotion at umapo sa harapan ko.
"Amph. how..."
"Don't talk"-I said coldly and sip my drink.
"Okay"-Naaawkward nitong saad at kumain lang kame ng wala man lang ingay. Kame ang napakatahimik na table kumpara sa iba. Parang may pasound effect pang langaw.
Tumayo na ako ng matapos ko na ang burger na kinakain ko. Kanina pa akong lumalakad at marami na akong napasukan na mall. May humila sakin at pinasok ako sa kotse at nabangga pa yung ulo ko sa car.
"Matigas talaga ang ulo mo!! Make sure she doesn't escape again"-utos nya at tinalian ako sa kamay at paa.
"Whatta troublesome girl"-guard one
"Your mother almost kill us?!-sabi nung pangalawa
"Pwede dalaga na at di na ako bata! Alis nga kayo!! Let me go!"-i kick them but they tied my foot.
Bakit kailangan pa nya akong kontrolin. Napakastrikta nya I know she's doing it to teach me lesson.
Because i'm a bitch pero sa ganitong pagtrato mas titigas pa ang ulo ko.
"Damn all of you!"Mabilis na kaming nakarating at binuhat ako ng apat at pinasok ako sa aking kwarto. They untie me at lumabas na sila. Graaaaa!! How long do I have to be like this!!!
"You'll never taste your freedo..."
I scoff in disbelief "I'll be stuck with you for the rest of my life? Ganon ba yun? No. Hindi ako papayag! I rather rot and die than living with you--"
Medyo nalakasan ko ang sigaw at nakita ko siyang napaluha sakin. That slapped me so hard when I saw her in tears. But I just want my freedom..
"Ikaw lang ang gumagawa ng sarili mong kadena, ikaw rin lang naman ang tumatali sa iyong leeg. Kapag hindi kapa magbabago. Nothings gonna change. Manigas ka, one day you'll see young lady.. "-she turn her back on me. Binaba ko nalang ang tingin ko at sinarado nya ang pinto with a loud bang
𝐷𝑖𝑒!
𝐷𝑖𝑒!
I look around in my room. There's this voice and I can't figure out what it was lagi ko itong naririnig kahit saan ako pupunta. Natatakot ako sa bulong na naririnig ko minsan naiisip na baka may multo na sumusunod sakin.
𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑙𝑢𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑝!
𝑡𝑟𝑢𝑡ℎ 𝑠ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑢𝑟𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑒𝑝
𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑡ℎ 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑛 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑙
𝑡𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟𝑛 𝑏𝑖𝑡𝑠 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑒..
"Tama na. Stop kung sino ka man wag mokong ginaganito!!"-I close my ears and shout to stop this voice but it still echoing the voice is getting more more close everyday until it sounded like a mocking demon. "Tama na!!"