"We received an approval request to buy MJ a Bugatti Veyron," says Charelle. "If he asks for anything abnormal, you set boundaries and refuse. We should never be seeing any unreasonable requests that relate to MJ."
Lee takes a breath. "MJ told a member of my team that this was something Ms. Falter had already personally approved as MJ's birthday gift, and that we just hadn't received the memo. My team member felt it was appropriate to follow up."
"He hasn't even passed a driving test. Last month, he tried to rent out a gallery to run a show for his own art, which was a similarly pointless effort, since as far as we are aware, MJ has not created any art for display."
An awkward moment.
"These scenarios are not new. Your team needs to know the policy on MJ," Charelle retorts. "And if they don't know yet, it's on you to train them better."
Platt watches the two of them as though spectating at a tennis game.
You try to make it sound like this is a completely normal thing, but it comes out sounding more or less the opposite—like you think MJ's acting out due to some past trauma or something.
Charelle gives you a funny look. "I'm not sure what you're referring to," she says. "But if you go around saying that kind of thing in public, the tabloids will decide you're hinting at childhood abuse. So don't."
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"Regardless," Charelle goes on, "Ms. Falter would like to see Platinum taking a more active role in making sure MJ conducts himself properly in public and has appropriate expectations around the use of his available funds. We don't want to see MJ appearing in the media so frequently, and we'd like to correct the perception that he is partying his life away."
Lee catches your eye. He looks like he's about to flip the table. He's asked Charelle maybe a dozen times for permission to implement some kind of structural change: a separate, specific concierge dedicated to managing MJ; a set allowance for MJ's purchases and needs; clearer guidelines from Ms. Falter about how to handle MJ's requests, demands, and tantrums. Any kind of official support at all, in other words.
And instead what comes back is this: an instruction that it's Platinum's problem, that somehow the company is supposed to rear Ms. Falter's twenty-something son for her.
Lee can keep the Falter account. No one else in the company has this many problems. You'll be on a different detail soon, if that interview comes out right and Gabriella gives you a good write-up.
Platt speaks. "We understand, Charelle, and we're very concerned about keeping you and Ms. Falter happy with the level of service. We'll explore additional strategies."
Charelle nods. "Ms. Falter keeps coming back to me to complain about why MJ isn't being managed properly. Needless to say, I have other tasks. I can't be focused on this."
Meanwhile, Lee is not looking at anyone, but is very carefully and methodically scrubbing the conference room table with a tiny cocktail napkin, trying to lift away some gummy kuih-stuff smeared there.
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As soon as Charelle leaves the room, Lee throws the box with the remaining kuih across the room. It hits the wall above the trash can hard. There's a rain of confectionery.
"I wish that were MJ's head," Lee growls.
Platt goes over and starts gathering sesame-covered bits off the carpet and into the trash can. It wouldn't do to have a client walk by and see the office looking other than impeccable. "If MJ didn't exist, we wouldn't have the Falter account," Platt says. "Ms. Falter could easily set up a family office of her own, or go to one of our competitors. But she needs us to—"
"Be scapegoats when MJ is out of control?" Lee asks, still in a vicious voice.
"Our other clients need us for similar reasons," says Platt. "The Falters aren't unique in that way, just more obvious. I'm sorry, Lee, I know you're in an awkward position. What can we do that we haven't already tried?"
Platt's eyebrows fly up. "The Rosencrantz and Guildenstern method?" he says. "I have to give credit, that's a solution I hadn't considered."
Felix says, "MJ burns through his entourage pretty quickly. If you want help, you'd have to get it from Carson Mears. Which…good luck with that."
Lee makes a face. "Carson's not going to make anyone act more responsible, that's for sure."
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"Okay," says Platt, knocking on the table. "I'll give this some more thought. It's clear that we're not going to make progress on this unless Ms. Falter is willing to help us set some ground rules. I know we haven't had a lot of luck there in the past, but I have an idea that might allow me to appeal to her sense of responsibility. Watch this space.
"In the meantime, whatever else you're doing and whatever else you're assigned to, remember that the Falters are a big part of our business, and keeping them happy is critical to the survival of Platinum.
"And if you see MJ about to do something incredibly stupid in front of a reporter, I don't care if you have to pull a fire alarm—you bring that situation to an immediate end."
Felix and Lee are already standing up from the table, checking their phones for whatever messages have come over email and text and Slack while they were occupied by the meeting. There's a strict no-checking-messages-in-front-of-Charelle rule, but that means that incoming messages tend to pile up.
Afterward…
Back at your desk
You're going to be stuck on Falter management detail until or unless you make it to Elite on your own and get a new, different client. And there are still a few more days before the article comes out. Is there anything else you want to do about that?
You have a lot of embarrassing history on Gabriella. That kind of thing is gold, and you should be able to make Gabriella pull the article. You call her up and outline what you know.
She swears at you. Then she hangs up.
Then she calls back to swear some more. You are, in her view, the lowest form of human slime, and furthermore you have no morals, and even furthermore you are promoting a culture of fear and stigma around mental health. In addition to this, you're a blackmailer and a person without honor.
Another hang-up.
Then she calls a third time to tell you that she is profoundly sorry for you, that she will be praying for your soul, and that she recommends you also consider the healing power of prayer. Since you only catch that one on voicemail, it's hard to tell whether she's sober.
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