I sat on my throne, unable to understand what was happening, as two goblins ran around my broken-down throne room shouting.
One the elderly goblin with magical boots to help his dash.
The other was my goblin knight Muru who was eating her wolf meat while running.
"Come here, you little girl! See if I don't spank you, for your mother's sake!"
"Blah! Mother said you are a pervert that likes young goblins!"
"Stay away! Muru's butt is Masters!"
My eyes watched as the 60-minute timer was now down to 35 minutes, and I felt slightly irritated.
Should I blow her up?
No, why are you so extreme?
This isn't the game where I can revive her with a potion, and all is good.
Even if I can revive her, what if her devoted love is gone and I can no longer exploit... I mean, enjoy her love?
"Muru, stop teasing the old goblin. What if he falls and breaks his hips?" I shouted as she looked at me with a brilliant smile despite the meat on her lips.
My heart seemed to have a problem, as its beating was irregular.
Yes, there is no way I felt my heart race because of this greedy goblin beating the only man in the face with a dried fish and her lovely smile. No way!
"Uncle Mobbin! Submit, or I will smash them!"
"Noo! You damn vile, uncouth girl!"
"You are old—they don't work anymore!"
"Young Gobbo! Don't make me bring your mother here right now!"
*Woosh*
Eh?
What happened...
Why did Muru vanish into a cloud of dust? She even dropped the dried fish!
"Well, whatever, she will come back. Her meat is here..." I said, looking at the disgusting purple gravy and meat beside me... Is this some harassment, Muru?
The scent made me feel ill.
"Mmmm, this dried fish.... *nom* is wonderful! Good Muru!" The thieving old Mobbin stole her fish.
However, I am not usually the one that handles protecting the fish.
"Ahem..." Flames danced around my fingertips as the runes shimmered each of my fingernails.
Since the meeting with Mercedes, I noticed that my affinity and proficiency with Fire magic seemed to exceed normal limits.
So... I decided to find a way to activate my magic faster to cover my lack of other elements and abysmal status.
"Mobbin, was it?" I asked before looking through the changed holograph menu showing his current wares.
"Dragon bloodline (Red) for 1 litre of high-grade behemoth sperm..."
Somehow I felt a little sick even reading this. Then wondered what it was for.
"Ah, that is for a noble lady of secret descent who swears that the semen and sperm of a behemoth seem to make her scales more supple and silky smooth after bathing in it."
I didn't want to know, you green-skinned pervert! Muru was right! And maybe he does like young Goblin girls!
Where's my pitchfork and torch!?
Calming myself, my finger flicked through the current stock, wondering what I might need, when a pair of extremely cheap herbs appeared.
Holsweed - Enhances herb properties and heals a little health. (5 Gold)
Mugwort - Removes debuffs and weak poison. (5 Gold)
Wait...
The game had a plot involving these herbs because they skyrocketed to 100 Gold each!
What was it...
"So, Dungeon Master, the time is ticking. Anything you fancy?"
"One moment."
Of course!
That damn plague caused the skin to rot before taking the lives of anyone without divine resistance to disease and plagues.
But how...
How can I make money from this?
Think Asmodeus! Think!
Didn't goblins have that soul contract that even the gods couldn't interfere with...?
That settles it.
In the early parts of the game, when the Hero or Player was shown the cure for the disease, he would think of only the greater good and offer the contents of the cure to all.
This unlocked the chance to enter the female Dungeon Master routes; however, those were a trap that only led to a sad or tragic ending where the heroine was left to roam a dead planet alone.
However, why do I care for others? I want profit to buy more things and survive this shit show!
"Uncle Mobbin!"
"Who's yer damn Uncle Mobbin!" The goblin got a little angry at me.
Another failed social interaction...
Ignoring my stupid self-esteem issues, I continued as if the goblin didn't deny me.
"So Uncle Mobbin. I have a very good transaction for you to participate in, and I am willing to offer both a Soul Contract and my blood essences as collateral."
He grumbled as he looked at me, looking before his nose sniffed twice and his eyes opened wide before nodding.
Then he tapped his feet twice.
"Hmmmm... Go on, young lad. This goblin is listening."
Somehow I felt the tingling of mana when he sniffed, seeming to be some lie detection skill or something.
The mana tingle was becoming more familiar to me as I created and released the Seven Runes to create a fireball and super fireball in quick succession all over my body.
I wanted to be able to cast no matter what, and it seemed my fire magic proficiency was beyond a normal level.
It increased at a visible pace, likely due to only being able to use one element and [Flame Tempered] in my passive talents.
"I have certain information that a plague or disease will spread in the human domain shortly, and no known magic or healing potions will cure it."
*Snort*
Mobbin sniffed and then looked shocked, "oh? Go on."
"I offer you a split profit contract while you will borrow me money to buy ALL the current stores of these herbs."
"Hmmmm."
"We will hold them in a shared vault before selling them once the prices skyrocket." To ensure I wasn't obvious, I looked and saved more than 20 herbs while in the tab to confuse him and stop his shift actions.
"I will lend you 5,000 coins."
"Collateral is your blood essence and Dungeon Master Core."
"Our profits will be 60:40, with you being the 60% due to the increased collateral."
"Is this good?"
Nodding with a smirk, somehow, I felt relieved.
"This is for Muru... Not you! Never forget that Asmodeus. She is the only family I have left since her mother died."
"Eh, but didn't you?"
"She doesn't know... Her mother... Right now, her mother should be in another dimension working overtime."
"... I see... Her mother...."
Accepting his words and wondering if it was because I lost my mother and couldn't let go that I could appreciate his white lie.
I began to reach out for the glowing gold parchment with the details he just spoke of and started to write my side of the deal.
The herbs, their mixture ratio and the best time to sell them would be when the Southern Barbarians started a war with the Human Empire's southern Lords.
Once I signed my name, using my signature style but with Asmodeus, the contract split in half with bright blue light and shot into our chests.
"Pleasure doin' business. 5,000 gold coins worth of Holsweed and Mugwort, eh... Crafty little bastard Asmodeus."
He extended his hand, the green man's grey beard twitching as I grasped him tightly.
Curse my low STR value!
"To good profit!"
"To good profit!"
With that finished I decided to save the 1,500 gold.
As his portal began to open again, he looked at me with his tired goblin eyes.
"Make sure you take care of Muru. I will be your contact for our firm. You are far different to what I heard..."
"An interesting little Incubus prince."