Author's note:
Hello, I hope everyone is well. I came to thank the novel for reaching the first thousand views, I also ask that you leave a review so I can improve my writing, a small detail, there will be no gods and things like that, so don't think too much about limbo, see you later
I am aware that Kayden was referred to as a girl in some parts, this is a machine translation error, sorry.
March 2049
Kayden was in his 20s and no longer felt like living. Most of his life has been spent lying in a bed without even seeing, only being able to feel by touch and in a very limited way.
His only happiness was talking to other people, and even that began to bore him. In all these years, he realized that most people were just copies of each other, most just repeated their culture and personality based on other people in society.
One day, Nicolas came over to tell him, all happy that he was going to be a father and that they were saving up to clean up the house they were in so that they could welcome another member into the family. One of Kayden's few blessings over the years was his friendship with Nicolas, which has withstood the test of time without a problem. No matter how long they didn't see each other, it was as if not a day had passed between them.
"What will your daughter's name be?" Kayden asked curiously.
"It will be Lorena, in honor of my deceased mother-in-law " Nicolas replied.
"It wasn't you who chose it, was it? " Kayden was sure that, if it was Nicolas, it would be a strange anime name.
"Shut up crippled mouth, I liked the name " Nicolas raged "My wife chose " he spoke softly at the end.
This caused a ripple of laughter between the two. The conversation naturally went on for a while and today was particularly lively. They continued arguing late into the night, even with the hospital staff asking Nicolas to leave.
The sound of a door being opened and the sound of someone walking were heard by the two. They didn't worry too much, thinking it was just the hospital staff again, but it started to get weird, because it looked like someone very unbalanced, bumping into everything in front of them.
Suddenly, startling them both, Kayden's bed curtain was abruptly thrown open, and a visibly drunk man holding a revolver was exposed to their view. Nicolas even screamed in fright, since Kayden didn't understand what was happening because of his blindness.
"Hello Kayden, your beloved uncle is here for you, hic, I see your little friend is here with you, the hospital staff told me about this little shit "Max was visibly drunk and surprised Nicolas to the point that he didn't know what to do " justice has finally seized all my money for neglecting a good-for-nothing like you, not that there's much left anyway."
" Mr. Max? Please, calm down... " Nicolas tried to speak calmly with an armed man, bad idea.
"Shut up, you piece of trash " Max snapped, pointing the gun suggestively at Nicolas " Today I came to finish what I should have done a long time ago, I can no longer lead a comfortable life and I will probably be arrested in the next few days, and better still, I'll take your little friend along with us " Max laughed like a mental patient.
"Uncle, please let Nicolas go, he has nothing to do with us, I barely know him " Kayden begged quickly for his brother's consideration.
"That's right, beg your uncle " Max continued laughing like a madman and without anyone expecting it, he shot Nicolas in the leg.
Nicolas was pushed back with the force of the shot, it was done so quickly and randomly that he didn't even have time to scream, only after he realized what had happened did the pain register. Kayden heard Nicolas's gunshot and screamed and panicked. This was worse than the other time, seeing his only friend suffering because of him was tearing his heart apart.
"Look how cool, Kayden, I'll let you hear your friend die before I finish you off and, if you say any word, I'll kill you now " At the same time he said that, Max shot Nicolas in the head " Oops, my finger slipped.
Kayden heard the sound of Nicolas's head bouncing on the floor and knew without a doubt that his friend was dead. At that moment, Kayden hated himself like never before, hated his uncle, hated this pathetic, unfair world, and screamed until his lungs couldn't take it anymore.
"Is it over, you little shit?" Max hit Kayden in the head with the butt of the gun.
Kayden didn't even feel the pain of the blow, his mind was breaking on its own, nothing else mattered, everything was ruined in a single moment by his uncle.
"You've screamed enough, vegetable " Max quickly shot Kayden in the head.
At that moment, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion for Kayden, he found himself above his body and, for the first time in 15 years, he was seeing the scenery around him, he even had control over his body, but somehow he understood that there was no way to interfere with anything, it was as if he existed and did not exist at the same time.
Kayden saw his uncle raise the gun and point it at his head, he saw how in seconds the man who destroyed his life ended his own without any remorse, he didn't know what to feel, was he avenged? But it didn't seem like enough. He was feeling his vision go black and erasing, it was out of his control, like everything else in his life, and in the end, he was unable to even protect his brother.
"Goodbye, Nicolas, sorry for everything " Kayden cried to himself.
???? in ??? place ???
Kayden opened his eyes and quickly closed them, not used to the light in the hospital.
"Clarity? Wait..."
Like a whirlwind, the memories came back to him, the night his life ended came back in seconds to his mind, the pain, the sadness, the anger, everything came back at once, almost driving Kayden crazy.
After screaming for a long time, he pulled himself together and realized he was on a gigantic lawn, a plain that stretched as far as the eye could see. He was lying on the grass, he tried to get up... and he fell, his sense of balance was all wrong.
"I don't even know how to use my legs.
An identical copy of himself appeared in front of him without him even noticing and watched the young man who could barely stand up.
"Hello?"
A voice coming out of nowhere scares any human being, and that made Kayden act on instinct, getting up quickly and turning to the owner of the voice, but he couldn't recognize him, it's been a long time since he's seen himself in a mirror.
"Hey? Where am I? I think I got lost on the path of reincarnation " Kayden expressed his doubts without knowing very well how to communicate with the person in front of him.
"Relax, Kayden, you're in something like limbo, a temporary place for souls. Here you are left to resolve your issues with yourself and try to follow your destiny in peace. Usually, souls take a few years or decades, it depends on how your life was."
"Hm... got it. And how can I do this?"
"Hoho, it's very simple. I'm going to ask you some questions, and you must answer them honestly for yourself."
So it started, in the beginning, it was simple things like what is the correct ethics in such an action for you, the being made it clear that there was no correct answer, the right thing would be, to be honest with yourself.
(The next few paragraphs would be Kayden daydreaming about himself, as if answering questions directed at him.)
'I have no resentment towards my parents, in life, they took care of me as best they could.'
'I don't think the world is fair, or that humans are good, they are a disgusting race for the most part, thinking only of themselves and repeating ideas from other beings.'
'The sense of life? The money would be the last of them, even success depends on the point of view, how many billionaires have existed and will exist, and how many of them will history remember? What's the point of having millions and being erased from history like everyone else? Life has an end in itself, the meaning is to find your way.'
'How many are capable of transmitting their knowledge and their name through generations? Few. Humanity is mostly made up of sheep. Few beings can stand out from the herd.'
'I hate myself? Yes? Why? Never had control over my destiny? Even so, was I able to elevate myself mentally? I think so. I didn't have a superb and accommodating mind, I tried by my means to reach new heights.'
'Was I jealous of Nicolas? I have to admit that yes, having a life, being able to walk and interact with other people was a deep desire of mine.'
'Hate Max? Yes, with all my strength. Is this hate correct? Yes maybe? Why should I hate a weak being? Is someone a slave to your desires and desires? Servant of your mind? Maybe, in the end, it doesn't matter.'
'Nothing makes any difference in life, the end is the same, insecurities, envy, grudges, none of that is capable of matching the stillness of death, in the end, it all boils down to nothing.'
"Congratulations, Kayden, you managed to be honest and bury all your problems from your past life " a voice scared Kayden again.
Kayden entered a meditative state where he lost sense of his surroundings, only his mind was able to process thoughts and nothing else, his sense of time was cut off, and he wasn't sure how much time had passed.
"Hello, how long did it take me? " Kayden asked with genuine curiosity, in his head barely a few hours had passed.
"It's been 3 years, 7 months, 23 days, 3 hours, 52 minutes, and 3 seconds since you entered deep meditation, by the way, a relatively short time for the troubled life you've had."
"And now? What do I have to do?" Kayden asked curiously.
"I will give you two options, you will be able to choose only one of them. You can go back in time with all your knowledge to the date of your parent's death and prevent the accident from happening and subsequently lose those memories or you can randomly reincarnate."
This situation took Kayden by surprise, but within moments he was right about his decision.
"I wish to randomly reincarnate "This quick decision surprised the being who asked.
"Why didn't you choose the first one?"
"In my world, there was a philosophy that says that if you don't go through everything you've been through, you wouldn't be yourself, as much as my life is rubbish, I believe I'm the best version that could come out of it, I wouldn't want to change to myself."
"I see, I hope you are happy in your new life, good luck, Kayden."
"Wait, I still have a question... " Kayden was unable to continue his speech, his vision quickly went black and his senses nullified.